What We've Learned From Mom About Home
Share cherished memories as Houzzers recall the special traits, insights and habits of their mothers
What makes a house, a home? For many of us, our mother is intrinsically part of the answer. Whether it’s the smell of lemon furniture polish when we walk through the door, new curtains in the kitchen for every season, crisp and clean laundry hanging on the clothesline, steaming food sitting on the kitchen table or simply the presence of loved ones, Mom is usually responsible for what we equate with “home.”
For Mother’s Day, we asked you to share what you learned and cherished from your mom around the house. Take a look at 33 of our favorite responses.
For Mother’s Day, we asked you to share what you learned and cherished from your mom around the house. Take a look at 33 of our favorite responses.
"My mother and my grandmother taught me that houses are to live in, not to live for, and it has served me well. While I was taught to keep a clean house, and how to cook a mean Southern dinner when the time is available, I was also taught that a basket of laundry needing to be folded, or a dishwasher that needs to be unloaded, can wait. A long talk in the backyard with your spouse, 30 minutes spent laughing at a silly TV program with your teenager, a loved one or friend on the phone needing a shoulder to cry on — those things should never have to wait. Your house will always be there. The people you care about the most may not." — gigi4bee
"My mum was a single mom raising two kids with very little money. Sometimes, times were so hard that the heating company would cut us off and we had to camp by the opened stove to keep warm. I remember those times as super fun family moments where we would do crafts in the kitchen. She knew how to make a terrible situation really fun! She taught me to figure out how to fix things myself rather than buying new stuff. She taught me that elbow grease takes you much further than a wad of money. Most importantly, she taught me that what makes a house a home is a purring cat on a windowsill, the smell of lemon oil rubbed into antique dressers and a welcoming kitchen table to sit and chat at. Now, I have a home of my own (with a cat). I have a decent paying job, but still, I believe in the magic of elbow grease and carpenter's glue." — ameliahanna
"To hire a maid! My mom was a post–World War II wife who valued her degree and job over cooking and cleaning. Thank goodness for Sunday dinners at Grandma's house for a taste of home cooking!" — lc29
"My mom didn't care what the neighbors had. We had no matching furniture, thank God. She and my dad made the couch by attaching legs to a door and covering it with a mattress and pillows. It was modernist. He'd build a tall box planter, and she'd make it a room divider with a large driftwood branch and pebbles gathered at the beach. They constantly redesigned and rebuilt the house for twenty years. I learned from her that you can never own too many books or too much art or music." — Fine Art & Portraits by Laurel
"I love my mother dearly. She's a wonderful woman and grandma who would give you the shirt off her back. However, I learned from her to throw things away and not stash stuff you don't use in closets and under beds, and not to buy things to store in these places simply because they're on sale (she's a bit of a hoarder). I also learned to clean out my fridge occasionally and to keep my kitchen clean, clean, clean. Sometimes you learn to do things by having an example of what not to do!" — krissyb92603
"My mom taught me that putting an onion in the oven, then cooking whatever you want, makes it seem like you're always cooking a gourmet meal." — AtWell Staged Home
"Mom was a so-so cook, could shrink a favorite sweater to doll size and piled stuff on the top of the dishwasher until I put it all away. But she could tidy up a room to make it look like it was out of Good Housekeeping in record time. Sometimes it's the shortcuts that you remember the most." — uberv
"My mom was a professional advertising copy chief writer when women in the office were secretaries. She knew how to play with the big boys, and she was twice as good as they were — she had to be, to rise to that level in the '50s and '60s. She was talented and gutsy, and had no time to cook or clean a house. She hired someone on occasion to clean. I never learned how to cook anything but basic meals to feed my family, and now, in retirement, am finally developing a knowledge of fine cooking.
"That said, my mom had a heart of gold and was the rock and anchor to my brother and me. She would do anything for anyone (and did), and taught me the meaning of love and honesty by her example. She fought an 11-year battle with cancer, never complaining, mostly upbeat and always with a zest for life that reminded us of the importance of living each moment fully. She taught me what was important in life, and showed me how to die with grace and even humor ... and I miss her every day. Stuff like cleaning and cooking, I can teach myself." — appytrails
"That said, my mom had a heart of gold and was the rock and anchor to my brother and me. She would do anything for anyone (and did), and taught me the meaning of love and honesty by her example. She fought an 11-year battle with cancer, never complaining, mostly upbeat and always with a zest for life that reminded us of the importance of living each moment fully. She taught me what was important in life, and showed me how to die with grace and even humor ... and I miss her every day. Stuff like cleaning and cooking, I can teach myself." — appytrails
"'When you are making corn tortillas, and a hole appears, you can patch it up. Flour tortillas need to be handled with care, because if you tear a hole in the dough, you have to roll it back up and let it rest.' If I applied this to anything in life, it meant some things, like housework, are not that important. Others — like one's marriage, mortgage, etc. — you have to be more careful with, because patching up the holes takes more effort than if you were careful from the get-go.
But, really, my mom was talking about tortillas. And her recipe/lessons continue to feed my ever-expanding tummy and that of my spoiled friends and hubby." — tiachocolate
But, really, my mom was talking about tortillas. And her recipe/lessons continue to feed my ever-expanding tummy and that of my spoiled friends and hubby." — tiachocolate
"My mother is amazing at taking care of a home, and has always worked full time outside the home. She taught me to be great at the things I care the most about and let the small things slide. For her, that means we use the kitchen twice a year and otherwise eat out, so she had more time to spend with her kids! For me, that means hiring someone to clean for the same reason!" — docmack
"Momma has been gone for over 25 years, but I still see her daily in the things that I do. I see her in the granddaughters she never lived to meet. She gave me traditional Southern hospitality skills and challenged me to find creative ways to be frugal. Most importantly, she taught me to put people before things, and that is what really makes a house a home." — kathleen MK
"My mom has helped me be a great homemaker, as all my near and dear ones say. The most important lesson she taught me was to be organized in all my work, and never leave anything for tomorrow. It makes life much easier." — California Fence Company
"Just one of many thing my mother taught me was not to touch her walls. 'Please don't put your hands on the walls,' she would say. As a child, of course, I couldn't figure out what the big deal was. Today I have to occasionally, but politely, ask my children's friends not to touch the walls. My kids have already learned the lesson. She also never revealed her hiding spot for her good deck of playing cards. She just never understood that my brother and sister and I needed her deck because ours was missing a spade or two and everyone knew the queen of hearts had a bent corner. I have a hiding place of my own, now." — Susie Q Design Studio
"My mom raised three boys and me — the only girl. It was tough to keep the house tidy, but she did it. Her pride and joy was her large linen closet. Her sheets and towels and tea towels were always folded 'just so' and by size and color. She said that it was the one place in the house that was hers, and she felt she at least had control over that one spot in the house that the boys had no interest in messing up! I have kept up her tradition — even to the way she folded towels. I love my husband, but when he folds, I secretly refold to my mom's design and standards! Long live the beautifully organized linen closet!" — cfumerton
"My mom was very proud of her house; memories of my childhood were of her walking visitors around the house like they were on a tour to all the rooms. The house had to be always clean, especially the kitchen. Today, I'm proud of my house and I always make sure it's inviting. Though I never really show visitors around, it's always visitor ready." — molewane
"Saturday mornings were for cleaning house. No matter what was happening that day, beds were changed, laundry done, carpets vacuumed, furniture dusted. And no load of laundry was complete without a good dose of bleach. I'm 46 and I still have clothes with little bleach stains dotted here and there — little Mommy kisses! My mom died in January, so my feelings are very raw still. But my memories are strong." — maggiemalone
"My dad was an Air Force sergeant, and our family of six moved around a lot. Once we lived on a base in old barracks that had been converted to housing. This conversion left much to be desired. There was a wood post in the middle of the living room. Our mom had no money for decorating, but she made the best of everything. She attached 45 records to brackets to make little shelves staggered around the post. She bought ceramic small musician figures at a dime store and placed one on each record. I could write pages about what she taught me, but this is my favorite of her creative homemaking tricks." — graciann
"Growing up with a single mom was hard on both of us at times, but one thing I never lacked was love and laughter. We were a team. I was an only child, so it was just us two girls, and even though we lived with family and in apartments for over a decade while life sorted itself around us, 'home' always felt like a home. These things are what I have taken and use in my daily life because of mom: 1. Food is special, but the act of making it is more special. It doesn't matter how much time it takes, or if it turns out only OK; it was worth the time you took to make it because you cared enough to try; 2. Cleaning is always more fun with music to dance to; 3. You can clean every space twice, but as soon as someone enters the house, it doesn't matter because family and friends are there to share it with; 4. Sometimes you just need to order pizza, pop in a movie and 'take the phone off the hook,' and you should never feel guilty about taking time for yourself; 5. Love is the foundation of family; cherish it and share it every day; 6. You don't always need a man to do things around the house; if you learn a skill on your own (like fixing the dryer or patching a wall), you gain not only a skill but pride in a job well done." — Amy Secretan
"My mom taught me that family is the most important thing. You may live in a tent, a mansion, a castle, a hut ... it doesn't matter as long as you have your family. And there is always some little thing you can do to make it home. She would take some little doodad gotten at a yard sale and find the perfect spot for it so that our home always looked nice. She taught me how to stretch a dollar and live on a tight budget, which has come in handy many times. She taught me how to cook. My sisters and I would make biscuits standing in a chair so we could reach the bowl.
"She taught me that you have a big lunch on Sundays and rest during the rest of the afternoon. She taught me to always look out for the underdog. She taught me how to laugh. To be polite, to say, 'Yes ma'am,' 'No sir' and 'Thank you.' To hold the door for the person behind me. To never whisper if someone else was in the room. To always be there for your family. To always have an open door whenever they need to come home." — lisaew54
"She taught me that you have a big lunch on Sundays and rest during the rest of the afternoon. She taught me to always look out for the underdog. She taught me how to laugh. To be polite, to say, 'Yes ma'am,' 'No sir' and 'Thank you.' To hold the door for the person behind me. To never whisper if someone else was in the room. To always be there for your family. To always have an open door whenever they need to come home." — lisaew54
"My momma was never overly concerned with a sparkling house when we were kids. She preferred a comfy, loving home where my brother and I and our friends were always welcome to play and grow. She said, 'I don't mind the mess. I can have a clean house when you kids are gone!' She says the same thing now with her grandson, whom she watches while my hubby and I are at work. The size of the mess = the amount of fun!" — natlizan
"My mother's statement on housekeeping was, 'A little dust will never kill you.' She was fairly critical of what she deemed 'perfectly kept houses with dirt swept under the carpets.' She was much more concerned with fresh linens, a clean refrigerator, and clean floors, kitchens and bathrooms than frantic straightening up for company. Of course, she also grew up with a maid, a cook, etc. and was truly at a loss when she first married. Much to my husband's dismay, I tend to follow her beliefs. I prefer a warm, homey house to a perfectly ordered residence. I don't like to sit on plastic; I don't want to sit on the edge of furniture; I want comfort and downtime from my work life. So what if there's occasional dust or pet hair? I'm pretty sure it won't kill me." — Vicki D
"Where do I begin? My mom was more about love and respect than cleaning house, but even with a husband and five children, she kept ours clean and things moving along. We didn't have a lot — lived in the country without a washer or dryer, so of course the clothes got dried on the line. I still cannot figure out how she did it all. My mom taught me that things were not to be saved for special days, that all days were special. To this day I use my grandmother's 'Sunday' silver for everyday use — why not? I may not be here tomorrow to use it. I don't know whether this has to do with growing up in the South, but Mom did teach me to wash the walls on a regular basis; I suppose that had to do with living on a dirt road for so many years, but even though I live in the city now, I still wash my walls at least twice a year!" — bundle53
"Every part of our home was clean and fresh, polished and scrubbed. We never accumulated stuff and always did the big jobs together. And thus we learned, and yes we had fun learning. Nobody died from the physical labor, and it took until my parents were in their 80s before we finally convinced them it was OK to hire a window cleaner. We all (three sisters) pretty much do exactly the same. It's just part of making home ... home." — Jan Moyer
"My mother would have been the first to say that she wasn't much of a housekeeper; we often ran out of toilet paper, and there was never a pencil or pair of scissors to be found. But she was a wonderful homemaker and our (many) places were always full of flowers and the smell of lemon polish. Later, when she could afford cleaning ladies, things were always tidy, but I rather treasure those early, messy years." — Jane Walker
"I am so thankful to have had my mom for the first 17 years of my life. She raised eight children, kept our house comfortable and inviting (everyone hung out and sometimes stayed at our place), made delicious food from scratch every day, had a huge vegetable garden, was an incredible seamstress and knitter and just all-around handy person.
"She taught my brother, six sisters and myself that we could make, fix or do anything with determination and elbow grease. That can-do attitude has served me well when it comes to home repairs, renos and projects. I miss her every day, and I'm happy to say that her legacy lives on in her children." — mizmolly
"She taught my brother, six sisters and myself that we could make, fix or do anything with determination and elbow grease. That can-do attitude has served me well when it comes to home repairs, renos and projects. I miss her every day, and I'm happy to say that her legacy lives on in her children." — mizmolly
"Things I learned from my mom regarding the home: 1. Always, always, always keep it clean. It doesn't matter if it's a shack or palace ... cleanliness is a must, especially in the bathroom. 2. Never underestimate the power of a well-made bed. No one will ever make a bed like Mommy. Seriously, she'd make the bed photo shoot–ready every morning 3. Buy only what you can afford, or save up for the things that make you happy, and never try to keep up with anyone else's taste or wallet. I lost my mother in January, but I see my home as a reflection of how she raised me to take care of what you've got, even if it isn't much to anyone else. For that, and so much more, I am forever grateful for my mommy." — kcaliz310
"There was so much my mother taught me about keeping a home by example — regular maintenance, keeping things neat so you can find what you need, the pleasures of baking and sewing and painting for yourself. But the things she taught overtly: When you're feeling poor, clean your house and make a big pot of soup. I do, and those two simple things really do help my perspective." — arloahart
"My mom is incredible and has taught me so much! Including: 1. Every holiday requires decorations, even if putting them all up leaves no time to cook dinner. That's why God made pizza. 2. Playing, learning and exploring are more important than a clean house, unless guests are coming over. 3. Children who don't really understand money yet will do cleaning and organizing chores for 50 cents an hour. 4. 'Why buy that? You can make one for half the price!' 5. Latch-hook rugs and lacquered 1,000-piece puzzles can be hung next to van Gogh and Picasso prints. 6. Family is more important than anything else you could ever have in a house." — Elena Vega
“I remember my childhood home as a welcoming sanctuary from the outside world, and being greeted by the smells of furniture polish and good food when I walked in the door. My mother taught me to cook and to sew at a very early age, and she insisted the house be given a thorough cleaning every Saturday morning before any other weekend activities, a practice I continued with my own kids. I’m very grateful for those lessons.
“But she also was apt to grab your coffee cup and wash it immediately after you took the final sip, something I let go of after I had kids. Sometimes, as another reader pointed out, you really do learn what not to do.” — bonnieinflorida
“But she also was apt to grab your coffee cup and wash it immediately after you took the final sip, something I let go of after I had kids. Sometimes, as another reader pointed out, you really do learn what not to do.” — bonnieinflorida
"My mom taught me the importance of variety and change in one's home. Growing up, I saw her change our kitchen curtains with the seasons. She also taught me how to sew, so now I am able to create my own curtains, pillow covers, slipcovers and table runners. Like my mom, I change them frequently!" — housecat
"I was raised in a logging camp in North Idaho. My mom was a Great Depression child. She taught me that what makes a home is safe shelter, love, a warm bed and wholesome food. My mom could do anything with nothing — everything was homemade. She cooked, gardened, sewed, canned and wasted nothing. Her biggest gift to me was reminding us to think always of those who had less. As well as telling us to go outside and play, tough it out and don't bleed on the carpet!" — jabalshams
"My excitement to decorate for and celebrate the holidays must have come from my mom. I used to love when I arrived home from college for Christmas break, stepping through the front door and seeing my first glimpse of the banister decorated with greenery and hanging stockings. Come to think of it, I posted last winter about stuffing cute stockings and mailing them to my stepdaughter and her roomie … Mom made traditions special, and I try." — Lanie Brown
"I think it is part of her Mexican culture, but my mother taught me this: Kitchens are not just for empty stomachs; they are for dancing feet and heart-to-hearts. The kitchen should feel like the safest room in the house, and there is no place someone will be more open with you than over a cup of coffee at the kitchen table or over a pile of dishes in the sink. My mom is a counselor to family, friends and the plumber, and her kitchen is her office. I like that, and I hope my kitchen will be as frequented as hers someday." — Nellie Rose
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