Leanne, thanks for posting this; it is an important reminder for all of us to think before we type. After all, if we didn't like the other forum people, why would we spend so much time here? I am all for honesty but I agree that it needs to be accompanied by courtesy and respect for others. Even without the smily faces we can use brackets around words to indicate our intent, such as (Wink) (Grin) etc. It is worth the little extra effort if it makes communication clearer and avoids the hurt feelings that so often result from misunderstandings.

~ Maggie

hey, leanne, you're pretty smart!! just read about the jars, thats such a wonderful idea!and, i agree with everything you just said, i've about let myself be drawn into some "disagreements, i, for one, will try to remember, not let my feelings be hurt, and- just not reply. thanks!

I think another important thing is to try to remember to 'respond', not 'react'. That's not JUST for the forum, it works well in all areas of life. And, often times, what you DON'T say says more than anything.

Scolding one another with heated words will never have a good outcome. We are all adults, young or old ones, at least the vast majority is. I like to think everyone is truly who and what they say they are.

I'm glad the post went away. I hateded what it did to Ash, and how it made everyone else feel.

Let's all play nice now :)

Suzie

leanne! Hi! Haven't *talked* to you in ages...I still think about you everytime we talk about putting a "tipi" up (I learned that spelling from you BTW).

If I remember correctly, you and I went toe-to-toe once. Am I right? Funny thing is, I can't remember what it was about.....I do recall that I exposed to you that I am half Jewish...or did I (well I just did anyway)? It had something to do with race, and it was so bad I can't rmemeber now. I think that I've had another experience just like that here...but I am so faint of brain, I just can't remember the details anymore.

I missed the now infamous thread about the dog. Chances are, if it had "dog" in the title I avoided it. I know this group too well ;). It always ends the same way..........without exception.

I've been so mad I could spit by people on this board, and then I've met people who I believe I could call, "friends"...and a couple who are ANGELS (I mean this literally, speaking to Carla and Suzie who have both been so kind and generous it has made me just about cry....).

In real life I wear my emotions on my sleeve so it isn't a stretch to say that I am often misunderstood in this format (the bulletin board)...I am not as eloquent as most people, and I am pitiful when my emotions get the best of me. I've done my share of back-peddling here.

I'll always come back here though. I miss some of the old posters and I adore some of the "new" ones. I miss Judy Toomey, and Jeanne in Idaho, and MoGardener (she goes WAY back). And we can't forget Firestarter......

leanne, I think it's sweet that you posted this reminder. Even though I didn't read that thread, if I had I'd probably be posting an apology somewhere....maybe it would have been here ;).

Tracy

Good Morning

While many of the posters here are of stong personalities, we need to remember that none of us are here to stand sentry or pass judgement over anyone else. Whether you have been here for years or new to this forum it is important to remember it is an open forum and everyone deserves respect and the right to their input without being bashed. We all know when someone is being overly opinionated or just plain mean. Perhaps a simple reminder to that person to be nice or if everyone just ignored and did not respond to uncalled for post, it would make for a more favorable forum.
In general the people here are great, just don't let the small few bring you down to their level.
Enjoy the forum and keep posting!!!!
Peg

Well said, everyone. And Tracy, if you didn't have to come back and apoligize from time to time, you wouldn't be human.

The important part of that is having the intelligence to recognize when we make a mistake, the maturity to admit it, and the integrity to apologize for it.

Tracy, you are so sweet. Thanks you so much for your thoughtful words. I hope you do consider me a friend. I hope a lot of you do, because I do you.

The internet has really changed things, hasn't it?

Suzie

I've found that I reread postings alot. Really trying to figure out if the poster wants advice or just needs to vent. If they want advice, I only comment on what they need. I never pass judgement because I've probably been there myself. I realize there are some folks out there that don't 'look before they leap'---buy a cute chick at the feed store and have no idea how to care for it. Sometimes we are their first stop on "how to" and it's our responsibility to be friendly and not pass judgement. Getting ugly with hateful comments will probably just send that person packing and they'll stop researching how to deal with their problem. In the case of animals, they are the ones to suffer the most. I've been known to give advice that the poster needs NOW, and gently offer my favorite book on the subject for LATER.
Basically, I treat others as they'd like to be treated.
That said, I had some time on my hands last night and a certain poster has posted on 52 forums! I also notice that that person hasn't posted in two days. Wonder what's up (sort of);)
Take care all,
Carla

Under the realm of internet relationships, I'll add this.

As a community grows closer , they are more comfortable getting off-topic --- and comfortable in the fact that they are a 'community', that they may think they aren't subject to the same rules as the rest of the forum.

That is a natural progression and why there are 'forum moderaters'.

The rules state 'if you have a problem with another poster, contact the webmaster' --- or something like that (

LISA

Personally, I don't care and if you all chew each others heads off --- my world wouldn't have lost anything.

The bickering is getting out of hand.

Wow, profound words from someone who once cussed me out!

GOSH, sigh now I REALLY miss Lee Firestarter with all of her profound words of wisdom.
"Personally, I don't care and if you all chew each others heads off --- my world wouldn't have lost anything. "

This makes me sad, In a way you have no idea what you may be missing. Firestarter was an old member here, she was, for some of us, our first net friend to pass away. She had a profound effect on a lot of folks. Every person can make a difference, each loss is a loss. I tried to find some of her old posts and now we can't go back that far. sigh, anyone have anything?

Leann, do you remember her screen name? You might try Googling it and see what comes up. I know I've seen things that are 3 and 4 years old on Google.
Good luck finding some of her stuff. She sounds like a neat lady.
Carla

I also remember Firestarter from lurking on US forums and even with reading a limited number of posts, I recognised this was someone very special with a light touch. Carla, Lee died and her husband if I remember rightly posted the news; I guess he knew there were a lot of peole who cared about her.
Rose

I think her name was FireRaven. Every now and then I come across a post from her on one of the slower moving forums.

May I add one more observation/comment? We cannot know completely another's situation and the poster may forget to give us important details. Both of these can cause us to give answers that we would not ordinarily give if we knew the situation better. This may be particularly true of newcomers, lurkers, and occasional posters. Sometimes one small piece of information makes all the difference in the world to how a situation is perceived.

Lee was Fireraven9. Wish I still had her hubbies email address.
Speaking about net friends, where are all my fellow farm moms? There was a slew of us that were "freshened" almost 2 years ago. I see Kristin Marie and Erin, where's the rest?

Sometimes you learn the hard way which people to avoid. *L* I also read the 'dog' thread and posted to it, trying to help. My reward was a VERY nasty email from the author of the thread which very obviously violated the forum rules. After that the thread was purposely driven to the maximum number of posts (I suspect the same email had been sent to many others and the other boot was about to drop *L*) and mercifully dissapeared. One thing I won't do is offer any help to that person again, which is really too bad.

However, that person is just one bad apple among an entire lovely orchard and I'd never let it spoil my participation in this community. :) I've met so many truly grand people here that it has been well worth it, these forums are a treat.

Velvet ~:>