No worries! I had LF when I was 33. And that was after a pregnancy that instead of a baby, caused cancer (the fetus died, but the placenta didn't!), and a miscarriage. Then I had three more miscarriages. There's a sweetie pie on the Cooking forum who is pregnant now after a tubal ligation and has one under (?) a year old. My point? When it's meant to be it will most certainly be. And you're never ready. One is never ready for houses, marriage, cars, college or kids. No matter how much you think you are or aren't, as the case may be. You just jump with both feet on the ground and your eyes wide open.

Tisha, I just can't think of a better mom than you would be. You're level-headed and fun, a hard to come by combination. That's the most any kid wants their mom to be.

Thanks for feeling comfortable enough here to share this with us. I think what you are feeling is felt by thousands of women in their 30s. It did with my DIL. If a week from now you are feeling the same way..sit down with Keith and talk,talk,talk. You will come away knowing more than you today.

I suppose most every woman who ever drew breath has contemplated at some point in her life about having a child. Or whether they want one. Or whether the timing is right. Or whether they'll wait too long to try. Or whether their partner (if they have one) feels the same. Or whether it would add to/destroy a relationship. Or whether they'll regret a decision somewhere down the line.

Becoming a parent is a very important life event, and it will alter a person's life in one way or another. That's a given.

There have been times in my life it was all I could think about. There have been other times in my life I thought I wouldn't even go there. Some people "shouldn't" go there, too who make that decision for the wrong reasons.

I have two wonderful kids, and two step children, and have had six foster kids along the line. Then I spent ten years of my life working with kids on a professional level. Now I have the blessing of grandchildren. I cannot even imagine not having my children, but I do know that if one wants the privilege of children in their lives that one doesn't have to have a child of their own to do it.

I think Marda's advice is just excellent. Let it be something you plug into your mental incubator and see how it simmers. If it continues to pluck at your heart then discuss it with your partner. I've found that no matter how well you feel you know your mate, when push comes to shove, you sometimes have to ask in a way that lets them feel there is no "wrong" answer to create an atmosphere of open discussion. If you are intimate enough to live with a person, or have a physical relationship.........it's never too early to discuss the issue of pregnancies. Because no matter how well you think you have your bases covered, they can and do happen.

Women in America seem to marry or at least have children at an earlier age than women in Europe. It's quite common to see a thirty-something get married for the first time, or postpone having children until then. Unless you're planning on having a dozen of them, that is. LOL.

We have this notion here that a woman over thirty five is "too old" to be starting child-bearing. I've heard doctors say this, that they're too old to cope. I don't buy that for a minute. I wish I had the knowledge and patience when I had my babies I had by the time I hit my forties.

Why don't you discuss this situation with your physician if you have a good relationship with him/her?

Hmmm.. good talk already.

But, how much time have you spent with kids? I don't mean an hour here and there, but actually taken total responsibility for, say, a weekend or at least from before breakfast straight through to after bedtime.

A lot of people plan to have a baby, not realizing that it's like planning to have a wedding. You get to do a lot of looking forward to, but the 'happily ever after' isn't so well considered. Whether we willingly admit it or not, when we get married we know there is an alternative that isn't lifelong with whoever. But when you become a parent, that's it, for the rest of your you will be a parent regardless of how well you do or don't fulfill the role.

Nature has provided the human species with effective hormones so that the species can be continued. That's the clock you hear ticking. What a good many of us also have is the intelligence to be aware of consequences, and to determine which of a number of choices will provide the most livable consequences. In spite of the hormone-clock.

Hormones may be pushing at you to continue the species, but I really think your decision should be made with more than hormone-driven impulse. Talk to Keith, because no one really wants to have sole responsibility for the nuture and care of a child; and no one should have that responsibility dumped on them willy-nilly. Take a couple child-rearing classes, if for nothing more than to understand that every parent has issues with diarrheaic diapers and exhaustion after being up for 48 hours with a sick baby. Take a good look at your financial status for now and for the future. Babies aren't cheap, and children deserve to have parents for more than an hour a day.

And then, if you and whoever decide to have a child, for better and for worse, for the rest of your lives, then accept my best wishes.

Hormones can act like fun-house mirrors sometimes. You see very real things, but sometimes in exaggerated ways. The only way around the distortion is to spend lots of time examining the issue at lots of different times (not just when it looks all wavy and mutant) so you understand what it really is. That means talking about it with people close to you... and especially Keith.

This need not be scary at all. After all, you're not grabbing the man by his lapels and screaming "Tick, Tock dude!" You've got the perfect sideways entrance into this subject through his SIL's situation: "It's hard for me to watch SIL struggle like that. I can understand her pain. Having kids has always been a dream of mine someday, and it would be heart-wrenching to find myself like her, ready for them in every way, but unable to have them." Then listen. Even if there's a thirty second pause.

You're not saying you want them today, or even with him. You're just giving him an opportunity to air his feelings on the subject. And to begin a conversation that may continue for years.

Calliope's comment "(...) but I do know that if one wants the privilege of children in their lives that one doesn't have to have a child of their own to do it" made me want to stand up and clap. My husband and I are childless by choice, and this is less scary because of the importance we put on relationships with other people's children. Becoming an aunt in both the real and "honorary" sense will help you make peace with your future, whatever it may be.

And really, it's all about removing the fear surrounding this issue and making peace with it in a familiar and loving way. Our best choices are rarely, if ever, motivated by fear. When you can look forward to a future either with or without kids, when the you can freely discuss your thoughts and feelings on the subject with those you love, when your life is full of healthy relationships with other people's kids... well, then what comes or doesn't come next might not seem as scary. And in this environment, fun-house mirrors are just funny. Because we already know and love what we really look like...

Not everyone is born to be a parent.

There are kids everywhere, under your very nose, next door, down the street, that need an older mentor now and again, someone non judgemental they can pop in and have a lemonade with and tell their darkest fears to without being phoo phooed...

Today there's 10 kids in a hospital waiting for surgery, or a Dr. to tell them something they and their parents don't want to hear.

Prolly 50,000 hungry, somewhere, or needing clothes, or shoes, or help with homework...

Perhaps 10,000 who just need a smile.

Your life can be as full as you want it, as busy as any parent with 5 kids, as interesting, delightful, as creative as you help mold new little minds and hearts, and as challenging as you want to make it.

It ain't all about parenting.

The best cure for any kind of blues is making someone else happy.