Hasn't advanced fast and far enough to suit me.

Why, you ask?

My 50th high school reunion, that's why.

When we started planning the reunion about a year ago,

a friend and I remarked that we could lose the 30 pounds

we needed to lose easily. I even joked that I might spring

for getting my eyes done.

(What happened to the time?) I asked myself when I

realized that the reunion was 2 days away. Panic set in

but I quickly told myself that I could do it, I would lose

30 lbs in 2 days. I quickly changed my eating habits, no

bread, potatoes, no sugar. The morning of the reunion

dawned and I stepped on the scales. Disbelief hit me

square in the face. I hadn't lost the 30 lbs at all.

Not one to give up easily I started thinking.

Surely medical technology has advanced at an alarming speed

and I can use it to my advantage.

I drove by the hospital to enquire if they now had a drive

by Liposuction. Out of the question, of course. I'm in

serious trouble now, I thought as I ordered the egg whites

laced with peppers and onions omelet at the local IHOP.

Maybe I can get one of those special facelifts they're

always advertising. No, couldn't do it. I'll at least go

to one of those nail salons and get a nice pedicure and

some fake nails. No, I hate those fake nails and my

toe nails still looked okay from the last pedicure.

Panic stricken now as I started throwing clothes out of

the closet. I hadn't even taken the time to buy a new

outfit.

I ended up taking a lasix, wearing a panty girdle,black

pants, turquoise jacket and driving to the country club

where I spent the entire night avoiding my camera wielding

ex husband and his wife.

I had a good time and while i'm a little out of sorts with

medical science over the drive by liposuction it turned

out to be a pretty good reunion.:0)

Besides i'm down 10 lbs, probably from all the exercise I

got last night.

Advice of the day! Do not marry a classmate.:0)