Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Groucho Marx

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.
Josh Billings

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
Robert Benchley

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
Harry S. Truman

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
Andy Rooney

To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring - it was peace.
Milan Kundera

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
Rita Rudner

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
Rita Rudner

Veterans report that service dogs help break their isolation. People will often avert their eyes when they see a wounded veteran. But when the veteran has a dog, the same people will come up and say, 'Hi' to pet the dog and then strike up a conversation.
Al Franken

I believe that I was a dog in a past life. That's the only thing that would explain why I like to snack on Purina Dog Chow.
Dean Koontz

I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
Steven Wright