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Community

20 years ago

"community" - n. - a group or class having common interests.

I'm sure that somewhere there's a social scientist, psychologist or ethnographer reading and studying the newest form of community - online communities, to see what they reveal.

Online communities differ in that they are a true melting pot, with online access allowing entry to all regardless of physical location, financial status, ethnic or cultural backgrounds, and certainly throwing together many people who would otherwise never meet in "real life".

This online community has worked well in the past and before anyone grits their teeth and say, "Not another "good old days" comment", the fact is that there was a time when almost unspoken rules of conduct set boundaries of subject matter and behavior. These boundaries were instituted by Spike (Bob) in a wisdom gained by his experience.

Politics and Religion....Thousands of sites to discuss these subjects. Aren't we bombarded with this subject matter constantly? As Ruthanne used to say, "I come here to escape from that. This is my quiet secret garden zone."

To those who say that without a latitude in subject matter things get boring. Hmmmmm. I don't ever remember being bored - hearing about one members southern adventures, or another's funny daily family life - seeing New York through the eyes of a naturally talented writer - traveling along to family reunions, funerals, peeking into life in North Dakota and enduring hot summers in Texas, and all manner of life. It doesn't seem to me that I would ever need to travel outside of your experiences to stay interested. But I suppose since I live in a very small community, that I'm interested in a narrower view of "current events"...i.e., whose cow has gotten out of the pasture.

This community will only thrive and continue if the members who constitute it agree on some basic behavior.

Here are some questions that might clarify why we are here and what we hope to gain from this experience. It would be interesting if you would answer before you've read others responses and maybe some type of pattern would emerge.

What does it mean to you to be a member of this group?

What makes someone an inside or outsider here?

When does the feeling of community break down?

What do you get out of this experience, when it is at its best?

What do YOU bring to this community?

I've made friends here, and some are actually very profound friendships, and that is reason alone to care about the future. And as a boss used to say, "If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem."

Everything has its ebb and flow, and people move in and out. It has occurred to me that at some point when things seem to not fulfill the need, it's time to move on...or take a break. I've done it myself, we all need to.

So this evening I am thankful to all the good things the Garden Party has brought into my life...new friends...new knowledge... a widened perspective... and to those whose talent has sparked a new outlet for creativity (photography) I am eternally grateful.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone.

One more thought - Nice Matters

Comments (12)

  • 20 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I'm answering these questions without meditating on them at length, but I'll start the community ball rolling and perhaps stop back in later.

    1. What does it mean to you to be a member of this group? Maybe this will sound trite, but I see this as a place to meet people from all over the US and the world at large and where I have made deep friendships with a few people and have established friendly relations with many more. This is a site I visit almost every day even when I don't post, as if it's a means of simply knowing there are folks out there with whom I usually feel comfortable.

    2. What makes someone an inside or outsider here? Tough question--partly has to do with being around for a while and partly has to do with civility. Lots of newbies seem to fit right in in terms of civility, some old-timers never seem to get it. I relish discussions that are a bit on the controversial side--I wish folks (including myself) could discuss things without either feeling threatened or being threatening. I dislike being reminded by some posters that we are close to the line. We are all grownups.

    When does the feeling of community break down? When people insult each other; make comments that are sexist, racist, or misogynist; drag a post on forever when it is clearly falling apart; remind us that we better be careful.

    What do you get out of this experience, when it is at its best? Nothing big deal, most of the time--I'm not enamored with preciousness or gushing comments, but I think there are so many heartfelt commentaries that move past the saccharine to the truly caring. I especially like when someone whose integrity and intelligence starts a really good thread, which might be on some ordinary subject, such as what we have come to call "Marda threads," that elicit thoughtful commentary.

    What do YOU bring to this community? Sometimes I think all I bring is my big mouth! But seriously, I think I bring insight about movies and also books, integrity and as much honesty as I can muster, I know a lot about education and political concerns (I try to keep this veiled, but there is no way anyone's political perspective does not color one's perspective on other things, so I think my veil is pretty transparent). I ought to start more posts than I do.

    Okay, enough about me--hope I don't sound like Pollyanna.

  • 20 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    What does it mean to you to be a member of this group? Back when I first got Internet access at the beginning of 1996, this was one of the first web sites I visited. Back then it was very small, only a few gardening forums, & you could zip through all of them in an evening. i think the first post I made was on the Favorites forum about being totally sick of winter (this was in March) & the next thing I knew there were 30 posts on the thread. I thought, "Hey! This is pretty neat!" It was pretty confusing at firs keeping everyone straight, but I finally managed it & when Spike finally started the GP to stop us chatting on the serious forums, we had all started to get to know each other. I've made great friends here. A lot of them don't post anymore. Life has a way of changing the amount of time you have & the priorities for that time. But this place has come to mean home in cyberspace for me.

    What makes someone an inside or outsider here? I think that's a state of mind. I know I've been away for long periods of time - when I moved to Texas & when my job just gave me very little free time - but I've never felt like an outsider here. Some people I may like better than others, or have more in common with than others, but all in all, I think this has been a very welcoming group of people.

    When does the feeling of community break down? We used to be able to set our watches by the food fights. They always happened at the end of winter when cabin fever was getting to people & then someone would take offense to something & we'd be off to the races. Now, maybe we reflect the general polarization of opinions in the country, and where everyone seems to feel that discourse can't happen unless you scream like Rush Limbaugh & Al Franken yelling at each other. Over the years, I've tried to learn when to just pass those threads by & not get involved, although I'll admit that my success rate at doing that is spotty.

    What do you get out of this experience, when it is at its best? Laughs, friendship, empathy & learning.

    What do YOU bring to this community? Probably not as much as I used to, but I like to think that I add positively to the discussions.

  • 20 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    One more thing that damages community (question 3) is when someone is trolled or banned. Generates too much suspicion and makes it hard to trust everyone.

  • 20 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    What does it mean to you to be a member of this group? I was very surprised that I was accepted so readily, and feel like I've been here for a long time. That in itself feels nice.

    What makes someone an inside or outsider here? I really don't know that, since I haven't been here long. I know on my other groups, that some people just never fit in, for lack of a better term. In some groups, they may welcome you, but they never respond to your posts, never make you feel like "part of the gang". No reason to stay at those places long.

    When does the feeling of community break down? I think when there is one person or group of people who CONTINUALLY try to flaunt the rules, and make people take sides, it breaks it apart. We all have our days, and we all have our disagreements. Nobody can get along all the time, but when one part of a group seems intent on taking over, or being disruptive, it affects the group as a whole. Then it just feels like grade school.

    What do you get out of this experience, when it is at its best? Friendship, knowledge, intelligent conversation, acceptance, forgiveness, and caring.

    What do YOU bring to this community? I guess I pride myself on being honest, and sometimes this isn't a good thing, because some people don't want to hear the truth. However, you always know where you stand with me. I don't mince words. I also am very fun loving, and like to have a good time, liven things up when they get a little ho-hum.

  • 20 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    What does it mean to you to be a member of this group?

    It's meant different things at different times. Sometimes because of my situation and sometimes because of the millieu of the group.

    What makes someone an inside or outsider here?

    I don't feel this is a particularly exclusive bunch. Usually being halfway pleasant is all it takes. There will always be different degrees of acceptance and different groups within a group and a few people who tend to clump to gather because of commonalities.

    When does the feeling of community break down? When one personality insists on orchestrating the direction of threads, as if it has to fit certain criteria of what they feel entertaining or interesting. Poop stirring, when it's intentional is another one.

    What do you get out of this experience, when it is at its best? Glimpses into other lifestyles for one. Other sides of coins for another. Answers. News. Company at odd hours. Watching personalities unfold. It's kind of like picking up a Reader's Digest for a short story.

    What do YOU bring to this community? I guess different stuff over the years, depending on where I am at and who is here. That's like asking if a tree falling in the woods makes a noise. I guess it depends who is listening.

  • 20 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    What does it mean to you to be a member of this group?
    I feel a closeness to many people I would normally would have never ever had the chance to meet. I really feel lucky to have met up or talked with some of the members. It means I have another way to make connections and friends. This group kept me sane during a dark period in my life, and I am much richer for it.

    What makes someone an inside or outsider here?
    Insider/outsider- personal perception decides it. I think if you normally are outgoing and friendly you would find it easier to feel on the inside. Personally, I, me, Jan, Treehouse, am relatively shy until you I get to know you. I feel like a bit of an outsider when I get few responses to something I post, yet when someone else posts a similar topic it takes on a life of its own and has tons of responses. That's when I wonder if I po'd someone. I lurk more than I post.

    When does the feeling of community break down?
    Community breaks down when there is anger, suspicion, tattling, and power plays about. When someone gets banned or when rumors simmer and then spew is a start of many cracks in the good feel of the place.


    What do you get out of this experience, when it is at its best?
    I get mostly enjoyment, fun, laughs, giggles, often times a clean monitor screen(one shoe, men's underwear wearing peeps) and though they are imaginary, lots of hugs.

    What do YOU bring to this community?
    I hope I bring an honest response, compassion and a few giggles.

  • 20 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    What does it mean to you to be a member of this group?
    *******
    When I first began posting, it was considered hallowed ground by me. I'd never been in a community such as this and felt priviledged.

    I come here to share, to connect, to catch glimpses of how others live, work and think. I keep coming back because invariably I learn either something new, something about others, or something about myself. I enjoy feeling as though I belong; in my everyday life, I'm not a joiner of groups at all.

    It is still hallowed ground to me.


    What makes someone an inside or outsider here?
    *******
    One word; attitude

    I've felt both ways before, myself.

    If one can find a niche they're comfortable in and not worry about the rest going on around them, that's a good thing.


    When does the feeling of community break down?
    *******
    When someone chastises or second-guesses another in front of the rest of us for some perceived mistake or blunder, in a demeaning, belittling manner. It sets my teeth on edge and I wonder why those words being pounded out with such a heavy or sarcastic
    (The WORST!) hand, why can't they let them fall a little more gently on anothers' ears?

    Of course, the minute someone is banned, the feeling of being threatened by some unknown person filters through every post. I still feel someone who complains a lot or makes life miserable here for others, should have some time-out themsleves.


    What do you get out of this experience, when it is at its best?
    *******
    I like the feeling of continuity among the group in good times and bad. This place absolutely ROCKS at times with hilairity and high jinks! It's at it's best when we bring out the best in each other and ourselves----maybe I mean to say, "The REALNESS of ourselves."-----no small thing.


    What do YOU bring to this community? I don't always know.
    *******
    I feel as though I get far more than I give.

  • 20 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    What does it mean to you to be a member of this group?

    Hmm. I started reading here a long time ago, on and off at first, then got addicted to Suzanne's quote of the day. I believe it was a different Suzanne at first and was carried on eloquently. Reading here has given a feeling of community in the small town sense of the word. I originate from a small town in Iowa and miss it so the GP is a bit of home to me.

    What makes someone an inside or outsider here?

    Being an insider or an outsider is what you personally make of it. There are those with the time and skills to post often and convey words of wisdom or great humor. Others are here to enjoy the camaraderie and add to the printed word or not. All are equally a part of the whole just as there are those in any town that are the activists/leaders and those that make up the bulk of the community.

    When does the feeling of community break down?

    There are spats occasionally that tend to disrupt but the distrust that rears it's head when some one gets banned is the most damaging. Seasonal irritations are a given, cabin fever and end of summer heat irritation. Getting through those times are what keeps the dedicated going and bring the rest back in if for nothing more than curiosity.

    What do you get out of this experience, when it is at its best?

    I am often moved by the glimpse into and inclusion in the lives of the residents of this "small town". Gibran wrote "Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. And how else can it be? The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. " I come here to share your joy and sorrow and am not disappointed.

    What do YOU bring to this community?

    I don't post much, never have. I try to share what knowledge I posses and some humor.

  • 19 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    i am fairly new to forums, but i have enjoyed reading and have gotten some helpful information from the garden web forums. the people who participate for the most part seem to be genuinely helpful and polite with each other and have a good sense of humor. i;ve noticed a tolerence and acceptance of differing opinions. these are things i would look for in any kind of community i would like to be part of. some of you seem to know each other pretty well. as in any community, this happens over time as people share experience. i hope to eventually become part of this very positive and fun community.

  • 19 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    What does it mean to you to be a member of this group?
    What constitutes a member? I'm not sure who gets to answer this one. While lurkers or people who post very rarely these days (like K.J., Hi Kitty Kat kar-lover!) still add something to the mix, it's really the core group who are the "flavor". But when I am here and participating, I try to give and glean information, care about my friends, share the burden of their grief, become enraptured in their joy, you name it. We live the lives of each other in death, marriage, pets, love, work, whatever is going on. I often imagine us sitting around my table, munching a snack and sharing a cuppa. At least that's what I've aimed for all the time I've been here. I'm not always successful at conveying it, or even posting to tell it outloud, but I'm here nonetheless. And I know it's true of many others; you're here even if you don't type a single word.

    What makes someone an inside or outsider here?
    Seems like everyone has played both roles at some point. Hard to tell.

    When does the feeling of community break down?
    This hasn't been answered yet, and why we keep looking for the "good ole days".

    What do you get out of this experience, when it is at its best?
    Laughter, peace, joy, and the most honest opinions. The hardest lesson to learn if you've never been in cyberland is, there are NO facial expressions. I sometimes think I can see the person in my mind (and why I've solicited for pictures more than once), but I never realized people can't see my "tongue in cheek". Another one not answered yet, and asked more than once, How do we convey this better?!

    What do YOU bring to this community?
    Crap, total crap. I get diamonds, though.

  • 19 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    What does it mean to you to be a member of this group?

    Not sure if i should call my self a member, but I enjoy being able to share a little bit of everyone who posts

    What makes someone an inside or outsider here?

    I fully understand the people that were here from day one and those that have met. I have never felt like an insider or outsider.

    When does the feeling of community break down?

    I think that happens when certain members go on the attack because another's ideas or morals don't mirror their own. I always felt this was a forum to share and understand.

    What do you get out of this experience, when it is at its best?

    Wow! Depends on the day, but think i get the best of everyone that posts here, a sharing of their lives, their hopes, their dreams, their humor, their wisdom, their intelligence, their interests, their childen, their husbands, their family, their loves. Everyone's quirky little things that they share with this community. Everyone's triumphs and failures that they share with this community. Everyone's sharing of their personal lives, the loves, the fun, the losses and the compassion and understanding that always comes back to all of us.

    What do YOU bring to this community?

    A few postings now and then. But a respect for each and every person that posts here and a thanks to all for taking the time to keep this going and for sharing their lives and ideas with all of us.

  • 19 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    The GW has been my "home" since I first got online in 1996. I gingerly made my first response then held my breath. Didn't we all? LOL I've dropped out of posting on the GP for a few weeks, even months at times, as life's other concerns/projects took me away but almost always read what was going on. I've been more active online lately as I've become less active in real life, and hope to continue...I love it here!

    As to insider/outsider, and the feeling of community, it's here. It waxes and wanes but it's always here . I have sometimes felt that a lot of postings are "me, too" with nary another viewpont mentioned. I love it when someone says "That's interesting but I feel thus and so". and then someone else gives a third alternative. As long as it's civil and not meanspirited I like hearing different opinions. We are so diverse in age, background, work experience, rural/urban that there must be a good many varied opiniions and practices...I want to hear them all.

    Sort of like our various gardens...some of us may have orchards, some a few annuals, some specialize in bonsai , others grow veggies . Me, I grow in containers almost entirely now. But l still wander over to Ponds or Trees just to see what's going on.
    The really serious hard working Perennial gardeners fascinate me ..doesn't make me envious or inspire me to more work...I'm a very casual gardener...but I love seeing what they accomplish. It's all gardening....we need and give and get different things from it at different times. Just like the GP.

    As to what I hope to bring: an open mind, empathy, a little humor. I often post very late as I'm a nightowl...what looks great then may be different in the cold dawn. If I ever step out of bounds and/or hurt someone's feelings I hope you will call me on it. tt won't be intentional, I promise. josh

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