I have never felt put down here, not once. And I hope you never have either, susan. I've always considered you to be one of the more active, knowledgeable, and interesting members here.

Sometimes I feel a little shy about offering info, but only if it's an area where I feel my info might be a little shakey.

I feel we all have our own areas of expertese, and this is how we learn from each other.

Maryann

I've never felt intimidated by this forum, everybody who posts here is kind and helpful, and people don't insult each other. I love everybody here! I certainly hope I haven't made anybody feel bad - I sure haven't meant to!
You should read other forums! I've been posting on the Tree Forum lately, because I've been so involved in replanting my property, but I may give it up. They're insulting each other and many are trying to be the smartest, most ethical person on the forum by telling others how silly or unethical they are. I wish they'd just stick to trees!
How about if I discuss my trees and shrubs here, even if they're not host or nectar plants? :)
MissSherry

I was intimidated early on, afraid to offer any input with the fear of getting bashed or sternly corrected. But this forum probably has the nicest group of members, and everyone is pretty laid back. I think the worst forum is the Name That Plant forum, where alot of people kind of guess (I've done that plenty of times), and some get soooo snippy about replying when you're not really sure. Geez, lighten up!!! I'm sure I've been corrected one time or another, but it's been done in a casual way, almost jokingly, where I didn't feel like I was being reprimanded for not being too knowledgable or as knowledgable as the "brains" in charge. I probably wouldn't have dived into the world of butterfly gardening and rearing if it hadn't been for this forum and it's wonderful regulars ;)

This is one of the friendliest groups around. For sure. There are some times, true, when people get their feelings hurt. Human nature. I am sure I've hurt a few but it was unintentional. I know when I first joined I got 'reamed' for something along with another gal who no longer posts...which is really a shame. I just figured, oh well...I can't be overly sensitive about things and if some people have to feel that they HAVE to be the smartest then chances are, they AREN'T.

What is so wonderful about this group is the sharing that goes on. Not one person knows everything...we all are always learning. I mean, this is ALL a learning process, right?

For example, right now I have had this one Gulf Frit cat that has been, are you ready? A CATERPILLAR for over TWO MONTHS!!! I keep thinking, "Should I post a note on the forum about this weirdo?" I keep waiting for this goof to pupate...Just this morning, I thought that maybe I should just euthanize it since it just isn't doing much. But, then, it starts to move! ARGH!

So, I guess here is my question:

Has anyone else ever raised a Gulf Frit that stayed in larval form for over two months and then successfully pupated? :)

All of the others I've raised at the time I had this one and since have pupated and either eclosed or are still going through metamorphosis...

Thanks! :) To euthanize or be patient...hmmmm...THAT is the question!

Hi Susan!
I must admit, I did have my feelings hurt once or twice when I first started posting to this forum. But my mother has always told me that I tend to be overly sensitive and take things to heart too easily. I hesitated to post for awhile, but I really wanted to get to know more butterfly gardeners and I didn't want to let an occasional hurt feeling keep me from connecting to so many wonderful people! I know I can't change my personality....I'll probably always feel a bit insecure. But I'm not going to let that stop me from trying to make new friends and share my experiences! So here goes.......

On the question about that Gulf Frit cat - from what I understand, a caterpillar produces juvenile hormone so that every time it molts it remains a caterpillar underneath. Once it matures it is supposed to stop producing this hormone so that the final molt reveals the chrysalis. Maybe your little guy/girl is taking an extra long time to reach puberty (late-bloomer?). Has it continued to grow larger than the average Gulf cat? I would wait to see what finally happens.

Judy

How warm is it where the cat is, CalSherry? I had some GF cats that stayed outside on the vines all winter long (we had a milder winter than we're having now, but it was still winter) and grew to the last instars in the early spring when my p. caerulea was first leafing out. They pupated, then emerged as perfect adults! They were actually about 6 months or so old when they flew off!
MissSherry

Susan, If you mean has anyone ever said anything in particular to intimidate me, I'd have to say no. I do, however, feel a little intimidated in that so many people on here seem to know so much and mostly talk in scientific plant language, whereas, I only know plants by the common names for the most part. Also, I haven't gotten many butterflies here at my place yet. I couldn't do anything like a butterfly count like some people go on because I probably wouldn't be able to id most of the butterflies that I'd find. I'm just fairly new to this butterflying, so in that way it can be intimidating, but I think this group is really nice and helpful and nobody has said anything to me to upset me. I've been on other forums where some members would say rude things, not necessarily to me but to anyone. I haven't been on those forums for quite some time. I had even been going on a bird forum where the administrator would delete members' posts whenever he didn't like what they said. He had a small bird-related business and whenever someone said anything nice about one of his competitor's products, that post would disappear into cyberspace. A lot of us eventually got sick of it and went to another forum. I definitely did feel intimidated on that one because you'd have to be afraid that you'd say the wrong thing and get chastised for it. Anyway, this forum is the BEST I've ever been on, and I really appreciate all the help that I've gotten here. I'll never forget all the nice posts from people last summer when I had my cat-raising anxiety. :) I just hope that nobody has said anything to upset you, Susan.

Oh my gosh, Susan, have you read some of the other forums? This one is SO friendly compared to others. I have been shocked by the behavior of people on some other forum. On the Organic Lawncare forum, there's this post that says, "READ AND LEARN.......", like this guy is the person who has all of the knowledge. People can be extremely rude to each other, and I have not seen that on this forum.

Now, I would say that Sometimes I do feel intimidated by the use of all the scientific names, just as Cathy mentioned. Sometimes I feel like a real dummy because I have NO IDEA what I am reading sometimes, some mumbo jumbo it comes out sometimes. I am too busy to look up the scientific names, so I just plug on and hope it wears off on me, and someday I will know what kind of plants people are talking about. I know so many common names, but when it comes to transferring them to scientific names, sometimes it's beyond me.

But, the first time I posted, people were really nice, and Linda ended up giving me some milkweed and maypop plants, and seeds also. Susan, you have always been so encouraging to people, and the seeds you sent me at Christmas-time was like a giant Christmas present for me! I was so excited, my husband thought I was a bit batty.

Elaine

I've read those threads that are headed something like 'Read and Learn', Elaine, and I usually wind up ROTFLMAO! It's kind of like teenagers thinking they're smarter than their parents!
Check out this thread -

Here is a link that might be useful: Is There a Chemical To Kill the Blossoms?

On this thread, Texasredhead threw her/his hand to her/his forehead and proclaimed (my paraphrasing), "Nobody knows the trouble I've seen" and Madgallica added his/her woes. I started to post pictures of my property after Katrina, but didn't want to pile on in the pity party! :)
Sherry

Here is a link that might be useful: Ohio Ice Tree Massacre

None of you who posted here are a culprit anyway and I'm not naming names. All of you have been more than helpful and have provided information in a friendly, non-threatening way. I appreciate each and every one of you!

Susan

Thanks, Susan, we love you too!

It's funny how our semi-anonymous little community really cares about each others feelings. I think that just knowing I will be able to come back and re-read my posts makes me a little more careful of what I say and how I say it.

If I insulted someone and it lingered on here as a post,for all to see , I would be very embarrassed.

Now, if I could just be as careful with the spoken word....

I have never felt insulted or threatened on this forum but when I started reading some of the other forums, I was taken back by the rudeness and the attitude that some have that they are always right and that no one knows anything. One in particular has an ongoing post that has over 60 responses and half of them are bickering back and forth between several people. Some are even knit-picky about spelling errors. I am so glad that is not a problem here!

Everyone here tries to give the best info based on what they have experienced in their locations. I think most of us realize that plants may or may not work the same in our area as others and we just use our own judgement.

But I really think the reason we get along so well is that we share the love of butterflies - we are just FLOWER CHILDREN at heart! PEACE!

There must be something in the air right now! On a couple of the other forums, others have posted about either feeling intimidated or irritated by others. Interestingly, one was kinda upset because others seem to use the Latin names all the time and she felt a bit put off by that and hoped that others didn't think badly of her. (Of COURSE not!!!)

In another forum, a poster was irritated that everyone DIDN'T use the scientific names, it was so confusing otherwise! ( I did have to disagree!)

Surely no one here is taken aback when someone expresses a differing opinion or offers an alternative concept! I've seen soooo many great discussions in this (and other forums), and rarely have seen anything antagonistic going on. (Though there surely have been some classic moments! YIKES!!!!)

Perhaps, it's the media we are using. After all, we can't see each other's smiling faces nor hear the banter in our voices. Perhaps it should be assumed, at all times, that no one ever intends to be intimidating on purpose.

At least that's how I've always looked at it. A few times I've gently chided someone for coming on too strongly and found out that I was right...the person (culprit) never meant to strike a harmful note. I've been taken to task a couple of times, too, when my intent was completely misunderstood.

And too, each and every person brings something extremely valuable to the gardenweb. All of us! So, if you are feeling intimidated, just remind yourself of that.

eek! culprit! naming names!!! oh dear!!!! my goodness I sure hope *I* am not that culprit!!!!!!! :O

I agree with rhizo1 re) differing opinions and ideas. Hopefully we all can learn from each other and state our cases without being intimidating. Lord knows I've learned tons (and still am learning) from everyone here. Everyone has been so helpful!

I also agree that forums, like email, leave a lot (ok, all) of body language behind (not that we're all gesticulating madly while we're typing... but you know what I mean.... I hope! LOL!)... very important when discerning the emotions behind the writer's words.

Personally, if I heartily disagree with someone I'll state my piece and try to move on... it's not worth it to convince people of your side of the story if they're not willing to hear it. Not really intimidating, just frustrating. I come across this a lot in other (non-gardening) forums on the other side of the internet. And that's one thing I love about this forum in particular - most of the people are really super helpful and have the "agree to disagree" attitude - again, for the most part, lol!

MissSherry, thanks for that link re) the Chemical to Kill Blossoms thread. Hilarious!!!

Sandy

Nope - I guess I'm just having a couple of bad days. Even my daughter said I've been "jumpy". I just finally qualified for my SSD, and also found out my private carrier will supplement it - thank goodness! I was so worried. Things like this just stress me out to no end. I wish they didn't, but, hey, sometimes life is just life. I had a Jamaican friend, when we used to visit Jamaica, who always said "....it's just life all over"! And, everything in Jamaica is slow and easy, if you've ever been there.

So, apologies to all, and sorry for the upset. I love each and every one of you for being there when I have so many absurd things to say. Things just seem to spill out of my mouth without any rationale behind them at times.

I am so ready for butterflies. Next week is all in the 60s and close to 70 by week's end. That will be a boon to being inside so much of this winter. Many a gloomy cold day in Oklahoma this year, and I'm just not used to that. My car is broken down for now, and I haven't been able to go anywhere. I've been outside 2Xs since the 1st of January. But next week, I'll be outside doing some cleanup and seed sowing, too!

Oh, if you think that is outrageous, you should have been on the Aroid Forum the year people were attacking each other politically, spiritually, emotionally, every which way but physically! The thread was over 150 replies long, right about the time that these forums were being taken over. Some of the comments were just so over the top.

Susan

You've upset no one....and stay outta those other forums, girl! Lift your face to the sunshine and tell yourself, "It's ALL good!" ;-)

Spring will be here before you know it.

Here is a link that might be useful: {{gwi:453935}}

Thanks for the smilies, Rhizo! I'm feeling much better. I should just stay off the forums entirely when I'm feeling vulnerable.

I need to sow more seeds today! That should be a "cheerer upper"!

Susan

I've been very impressed -- and I've said before, I know, but it's still true -- with the effort that folk like Larry and the Sherry's make to set the right tone on the forum.

I've never felt put down, even when wrong.

I've not seen judgmentalism, even on issues like butterfly collecting that people have strong feelings about.

So, no, I've never felt uncomfortable. I'm one of those weirdos that uses latin names, only because I grew up that way. There's no hidden message behind it; a monarch by any other name would still fly as high.

Jeff

(been hibernating recently)

Susan I don't feel intimidated by this forum at all. I just know that there are so many wonderful people here who know so much and are willing to share that knowledge. I don't know squat about butterflies. I just hung a hummingbird feeder one year and planted a few flowers for the hummingbirds and got the added blessing of beautiful butterflies. Since then the memebers of this forum have helped me with flowers for nectar and host plants. Slowly but surely I am building a yard for the butterflies to enjoy. Their beauty brings me so much pleasure.

I know I have asked some of the dumbest questions over the years but have always gotten a kind, direct answer. I have always felt welcome among the 'experts'. Not so on some other forums. As it has been said before this is one of the nicest forums on Gardenweb.

I'm curious about the Gulf cat! What happened? Did it pupate? ~Edith