LMAO Sharon I like that one.

My favourite quote was a Deep Thought by Jack Handy, whom you might remember from SNL back in the day.
"If trees could scream, I bet we wouldn't be so cavalier about cutting them down. Unless they screamed all the time for no reason that is."

"Nature is painting for us, day after day, pictures of infinite beauty"
John Ruskin 1819-1900

Gardening is a kind of disease. It infects you, you cannot escape it. When you go visiting, your eyes rove about the garden; you interrupt the serious cocktail drinking because of an irresistible impulse to get up and pull a weed. ~Lewis Gannit

Oh and a Joke - PG
A woman's garden is growing beautifully but the darn tomatoes won't ripen. There's a limit to the number of uses for green tomatoes and she's getting tired of it. So she goes to her neighbor and says, "Your tomatoes are ripe, mine are green. What can I do about it?" Her neighbor replies, "Well, it may sound absurd but here's what to do. Tonight there's no moon. After dark go out into your garden and take all your clothes off. Tomatoes can see in the dark and they'll be embarrassed and
blush. In the morning they'll all be red, you'll see." Well, what the heck? She does it. The next day her neighbor asks how it worked. "So-so," she answers, "The tomatoes are still green but the cucumbers are all four inches longer."

A gardener, asked for the secret of his success, replied:
"Trowel and error"

"I had a rock garden. Three of them died."

I remembered another good one - this is from memory so not an exact quote.

Winston Churchill was asked by a visiting lady if he did not like flowers, since he had none in his house. He replied that he did like flowers; he also liked children but did not cut their heads off and put them in a vase.

Here's another one along the same line of thinking that I thought was funny in a kind of sick and twisted way...lol

Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they're killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? "Sweetheart, let's make up. Have this deceased squirrel." ~The Washington Post

Can't remember where I read this, but it sure made me chuckle.

"Gardening requires lots of water.........most of it in the form of perspiration."