Hi Cinjo,
The difference is not in the blossom itself, but rather just behind on the stem. The female blossom will have a little pregnant bump on the stem just below the bloom. The male will have a straight stem going into the bloom.
How are your gourds growing?
Ours are a little slow in vine growth.

Jan

Try this page. It has great photos.
Kate

Here is a link that might be useful: Gourd Bits & Bytes

thank you thank you for all your answers now i know what they look like