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You didn't!

You didn't just shred an entire bag of cow manure! You didn't just distribute the contents on THE GRASS! You really didn't just scatter little bits of yellow plastic all over the yard!

You, who used to be a mostly white puppy, are now a mostly grey puppy. Dammit, we washed you last weekend! Now you're filthy.

I was only gone for 10 minutes, just the time it took to run to Publix to get cat food, and that's your fault too, now that I mention it, because you have eaten more cat food than the poor, distracted cats. You don't let them eat in peace. You need to stop eating their food, at least while THEY'RE trying to eat their food.

But the point is, I wasn't gone long enough for you to rip apart that entire bag. And how did you do it without managing to put an ounce of cow manure in your new hole, right next to the bag? It's not like I planned to put cow manure in your hole, but I'm constantly trying to fill it in, and cow manure in your hole would have been better than cow manure on top of the grass. So now I have to pick bits of yellow plastic out of the yard and I have a spot of grass 3-feet square smothered in cow poop. And a big hole (your hole) and a puppy who's no longer mostly white. He's grey. You're grey! With black spots!

Next time I go to the store for 10 minutes, you're going in the crate my friend.

Comments (25)

  • 18 years ago

    Oh, the joys of puppyhood! They're so darn cute, but I bet you can't wait til (s)he grows up a bit.

    My puppy turned a year old in August and he's much more well behaved now than he was even 4 months ago, though he'd still eat all of the cat's food if he could get to it. We solved that problem by putting the cat's food dish up on a bookshelf where kitty can jump up to get it but doggy can't reach.

  • 18 years ago

    But.... NAV......no picture??????

  • 18 years ago

    We Want Pictures of the Naughty lil Dude!!

  • 18 years ago

    The joys of having a puppy! Almost (ALMOST!) makes me wish I had one! lol

    Kate

  • 18 years ago

    Little he is not. He's 75 pounds, and not quite 8 months old!

    And he's better, really he is, than he was a few months ago. We've got the jumping trained out of him, which was important. Vet says he's going to top out at over 100 pounds, so we had to train him not to jump on us when we walked in the door before he was big enough to knock me down!

    And he lets the aging lab eat now. We've just started training him on leaving the poor cats alone because I couldn't handle feeding them on the counter anymore. And he's learning.

    Heck, he's housebroken now. That was huge! And he rarely swipes our dinner while we're trying to marinade it, though he did manage to get a chicken breast soaking in yogurt and curry last week.

    He has stopped barking at the paperboy each morning, which was really getting on our nerves, since the paper comes at 5:30 a.m. and we don't like to be awake at that hour.

    He's even learned to leave the pot ghetto alone. There was a time when I spent much of each weekend chasing him around the yard trying to get the plant and/or pot out of his mouth. He really liked broms. He'd pull them out of the yard if they weren't rooted well yet. I had to pot up several gifts because he wouldn't leave them alone long enough for them to get established in the yard.

    And he no longer eats coasters, lighters or the remote control.

    Really, he's good.

    I'm afraid I have no idea how to train him not to dig. And for the moment, he's just digging up a grassy area that I plan to mulch over someday anyway, so I haven't tried to train that out of him yet. But that can't continue.

    Of course, now he needs a bath, again. And man he fights water. Worse than any dog I've ever seen. It's like bathing a 75-pound cat!

    I'm getting a camera this week for a vacation trip, so I'll shoot pics of the giant little devil. He's cute to look at. When he's asleep.

    susannah

  • 18 years ago

    Just one bag of cow manure? That is a really restrained puppy!

    My 10 month old "Teeger" makes him sound like an angel!

    I let her out at 6Am. By 6:30, she has her collection started.

    She makes "toy piles". A typical one is made up of sprinklers (she chews the wheels off), 4" liners, a boat bumper, two 75' hoses, mismatched outdoor shoes, assorted 1-3 gallon plants (well-chewed), pot feet (especially the frog and turtle-shaped ones), palm fronds, my rain gauge, bamboo tree stakes, wire cages (supposed to protect my plants), fertilizer bags, orchids plucked from the trees, Oranges, Mangoes, dog bowls and door mats. Bits of plastic litter the yard, keeping me busy picking them up.

    These things are not easy for her to reach. She takes them off shelves, off trees, from the sheds, from the patio.

    She is the craziest example of her breed I have ever encountered, in 28 years. Super-smart, learns fast, very athletic and always "busy." Not what you'ld expect from a breed known for being mellow.

    She makes me laugh!!!!

    Lisa

  • 18 years ago

    Lisa,

    And here I was wishing I had a mastiff because they're so mellow!

    He's good about certain things. We've trained him off shoes, for the most part. Though he didn't get over his love of stuff that smells like us. One night last week, he left two pairs of shoes within reach alone (because he knows better now.) Instead, he pulled a closed basket off a shelf, opened it, and got my boyfriend's wallet out of it. Did no damage to the basket or its top, or anything else inside the basket.

    But he tore that wallet apart. Dear boyfriend was left with his bank card and license intact. The other credit cards have to be replaced. And we never found a $20 bill.

    But he was so entertaining, bringing the remains of the wallet to us in the morning, completely oblivious to the fact that he just destroyed financial documents. He just wanted to let us know that while we were sleeping, he had found a wallet.

    And he's trained US off door mats. We simply don't have any anymore. So far he hasn't climbed up into the cabbage palm to get the orchids out of it. Hadn't occurred to me he might try it, but now that I think about it, he might.

    We don't have oranges or mangoes, but I have to say, I haven't seen a sapodilla fruit since we got him. He loves them. Used to be, I needed to find the fruit before nightfall to keep them out of the possum's mouths. Now, I need to find them as they fall off the tree. I've actually heard one drop and raced him out to the back before he got a hold of it.

    And the thing is, he's so much fun, for all the cleaning up I do.

    (and if there had been more than one bag of cow manure, he would have had even more fun.)

    Susannah

  • 18 years ago

    They are all the same. My 12 lb Bichon ate my diamond stud earings off the night table. It took 3 days to get them back, if you get my drift. lol He was 3 before he was housebroken, Bichons are very difficut about that. He still likes to mark anything of mine left outside with his sent. My outdoor shoes or a shovel, garden cart, you name it. If I left shoes in the house on the floor, he would lick the insides till they were soaking wet.

    Susannah, what kind of dog is it? ;o)

  • 18 years ago

    You have to laugh or you would just kill them. It makes me grateful right now for my three old fart dogs. They don't chew and they only dig for a spot to lay in that is cool. They bark if you are walking by but not if the weather is too hot or if they have to wake up to do it. My garden is pretty safe from them as long as I don't try to plant anything where they like to lay down. That said, I took up gardening only in the last few years and since there will be a puppy some time in my future, I think I will have to adjust my thinking again then.

  • 18 years ago

    Oh, yeah - been there, done that with all the attendant cursing, cleaning and cuddling. Sassy would dig up plants as fast as I could get them in the ground. She's why my little garden is now fenced. Fence is only about 30" high, but she's only 12" high and wonder of wonders, my mountain goat poodle has never offered to climb over it. She will climb up, over anything else. Maybe because the fence is wire and she can see through it? At 2 years, she's much better about the digging, but still would undermine the house to get to a lizard or mole. We're still working on the barking - she's a talker and will stand in front of me and bark like crazy to make me do what she wants. Like getting another "cookie" when she's already had two. That's when I have to break eye contact and walk away because NO and QUIET don't even register in her doggie brain! I've an idea she will be the "Alpha Wolf" until her last breath! cora

  • 18 years ago

    OMG Lisa, I thought you were talking about your Jack Russel!!!!!

  • 18 years ago

    My three year old PUPPY loves to steal gum out of visitors purses and also the trash.Later I get to scrape it out of his long adorable fur. He also LOVES Kleenex and paper towels I try to be careful and not leave them around. Last week I had a terrible cold and he got on the couch and took the entire box of Kleenex down. I found him and the shreds all over the living room. I guess im glad it wasnt cow manure!

  • 18 years ago

    Lisa, she learned her uncharacteristic behavior from the Jack Russell. I do love her toy piles. A boat bumper - hmmmmmm wouldn;t worry too much until she hauls a car bumper to the pile. Just got to love babies.

  • 18 years ago

    LOL OMG. I knew I had to be vigilant but this just reinforced it. *sigh* I will be very busy with Daisy...I was thinking, I just spent the last year putting plants into this yard and I am NOT going to let her take my hard work away from me!!!

  • 18 years ago

    lol that's funny. I thought mastiffs were mellow too lol.
    I'm glad our big dog is older now and out of the chewing stage. Little dogs can be a pain too! We have a pomeranian that is 6mos now and he gets into everything at night when people are asleep or if we leave.
    A few wks ago DD (the budding artist) left her bedroom door opened and the pup got in there and snatched a dark red tube of oil paint off her shelf. He took it outside her door into the hallway on the new light biege carpet and chewed it up. I walked in and saw a pinkish red (formerly white) pomeranian and thought, 'what the heck'? Then I walked into the hall and saw the carpet and almost died lol! We tried everything to get it off. The thing that worked was Fast Orange hand cleaner (that mechanics use). Took it right out LOL!
    ~Lenette

  • 18 years ago

    I am glad we went for an older puppy. She has been so good....hearing all your stories makes me realize even more how lucky we are with her. She is such a good girl. Of course that may now change as she has gotten used to us and is now starting to test us. My little girl seems to love jewelry. I had to take my earrings off because she kept nibbling at my ears. The breeder did a good job with her though...she is so gentle. Has not snapped once. I also think we may have gotten her housebroken already. She has not had any accidents in the house in two days now. She has no idea what a garden is though and tramples through everything. She walks right through my beds as if she were a jungle cat :-)

  • 18 years ago

    KatKin,
    about your dog eating your ear ring,I can relate to that my son when he was about 5 he swallowed a tiny screw from one of his hot wheels ,to the hospital we went x-rays seen the screw was told to find the screw.sooooooooooabout 3 days later I found it. Not a pretty site.That part of being a Mom.

    Denise

  • 18 years ago

    Niko is a pound puppy, so we're not totally sure on breed, but he appears to be part Dane, part hound. He's got the howl of a hound, and walks nose to the ground to sniff everything. But from the neck back he looks like a Dane. And he's always had that big dog attitude, that certain calm fearlessness that just seems to say, I'm a big dog and you, little dog, can bark at me if you want, doesn't matter to me one way or the other. Now that we've dealt with the food aggression, which we figure came from being on the street as a puppy, there isn't an aggressive bone in his body. But man he can make a mess in a hurry. Apparently his hole is boring him, so he's started pulling newspaper out from under mulch so he can decorate the yard with it.

    I should just focus on the front yard until he's about 3, just give him the back yard for the next two and a half years.

  • 18 years ago

    I'm not sure you want to allow him to dig as he pleases now....you know what they say..."can't teach an old dog new tricks" ..Personally I don't believe that saying but it might be hard to get him to understand later why he can no longer dig in "HIS" backyard.

  • 18 years ago

    Actually that myth was busted. On Myth Busters they did teach old dogs ( alaskan malamutes I think) many new tricks! LOL. It was a cute episode.

  • 18 years ago

    I love that show....especially when they blow stuff up :-)

  • 18 years ago

    I know. I'm about to figure out how to tackle the digging issue. We also don't want him to ever try to dig under the fence, so it's kind of a safety issue. Maybe bitter apple spray will help. I'm going to get some because when I said I had him trained off the pot ghetto... well I was wrong. Have chased him around the yard to retrieve several new broms lately, the ones I potted up to get them to root well, and wait out his terror stage, because he was pulling them up out of the yard because they weren't well-rooted and easy to grab.

    And thorns? He doesn't care. I've got broms that rip me to shreds, but only after I've managed to catch him and pry them out of his mouth. What he doesn't seem to like is tomato cages, steers clear of them... so I'm thinking about buying a couple more to shield new plants, just moving them around the yard as I put things in to let them get rooted.
    For a couple bucks, that might be a solution to a lot of things for me.

    That said, the much more attractive bamboo teepees have suffered recently. He doesn't steer clear of them. Ugh.

  • 18 years ago

    I know. I'm about to figure out how to tackle the digging issue. We also don't want him to ever try to dig under the fence, so it's kind of a safety issue. Maybe bitter apple spray will help. I'm going to get some because when I said I had him trained off the pot ghetto... well I was wrong. Have chased him around the yard to retrieve several new broms lately, the ones I potted up to get them to root well, and wait out his terror stage, because he was pulling them up out of the yard because they weren't well-rooted and easy to grab.

    And thorns? He doesn't care. I've got broms that rip me to shreds, but only after I've managed to catch him and pry them out of his mouth. What he doesn't seem to like is tomato cages, steers clear of them... so I'm thinking about buying a couple more to shield new plants, just moving them around the yard as I put things in to let them get rooted.
    For a couple bucks, that might be a solution to a lot of things for me.

    That said, the much more attractive bamboo teepees have suffered recently. He doesn't steer clear of them. Ugh.

  • 18 years ago

    I hope the bitter apple works. Chopper actually enjoyed the taste of it and chewed the things more once they were sprayed with it!! Weirdo dog...

    - Lisa B

  • 18 years ago

    I was following this thread and found I was overjoyed that I was not the only one with puppy blues. We have a 6 month old Rottie who's as sweet as can be. We just love her to pieces BUT there are times I wonder "what were we thinking??" We've had her since she was 6 weeks old and have watched her "blossom" No full bloom yet!!! Her major issue is the 2 Chihuahuas we inherited when my daughter moved to Chicago. Apparently Cleo thinks they are squeaky toys. She pick tissue out of waste baskets, steals toilet tissue off holders, paper towels off shelves, shreds empty, sometimes not, cardboard boxes, ate my husband's hearing aids, steals lighters and cigarettes off tables and picks my purse. Had to replace my credit cards and DL at least once. She barks at bugs, butterflies, frogs and lizards.
    One day she will grow into her name of Cleopatra, a stately queen. Unfortunately for now, she is Cleo the clown.

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