mastiffhoo,
As is obvious from our previous conversations I am a newbie with no expert advice to give you. Just wanted to thank you for helping me out with mine. If they read this, I'd like to give a thank you out to tz7 and mnpalms as well. I haven't watered my trees in about two weeks, and we get an occasional rain to take care of it. They have not continued in the wrong direction lately, and might even be showing a hint of improvement already.
Good luck with yours.

Thanks for the kind words tnwindmill.

As for your windmill ,mastiffhoo, Im not really sure why the trunk wont grow. I do know that the trunk grows very slow and probably even more slow in a northern climate becasue they dont grow that fast (many not at all) during the winter months.
Hopefully someone has a better answer. Good luck!

Do you have photos?

I would hardly call myself an expert, but I believe the key word here is "patience". For the first few years in the ground my trachy seemed to just dawdle along...but it has grown quite nicely the last 2. What started out 8 years ago with no trunk, now has about 4ft worth. I think it's just establishing itself, and will eventually really start to blossom...much like toddlers. Avoid the temptation to "kill it with kindness", a problem a lot of people have with houseplants. Overfertilizing, overwatering, etc...

How many leaves has it put out in 3 years?

Thanks guys for all the comments and you are very welcome tnwindmill!
Jimhardy, so far this year she has put out 3 full fronds and working on its 5th. I am sure If I actually measured the trunk I would notice a difference, but very minimul. This is probably the most "new" leaves it has pushed out in a season.

Sounds like it's getting established better,I think they trunk much slower up north as well as taking longer to get established.My Naini Tal(just a baby) with spear pull from last Nov is ahead of all my other Trachys and is putting out it's 5th leaf already,another Trachy(waggie)is on it's 4th,pretty cool for the mid way part of the growing season.Mikes Waggie growing 10 leaves in a year seems within reach now!That will put some trunk on!