How about the guy that comes in 5 minutes before closing time and says 'I'm not going to buy anything, I just want to get some ideas'. Grrr.

mine is that super whiny, schelpy customer who corners my best sales person and demands they explain every single plant to them for over 1/2 hr and then leaves with a 6 pack of pansies.

also, agree with the comment about the mystery 'they' who 'invent' plants out of thin air...some people are just too stupid...

thanks for the morning chuckle!

I have issues with labels too. I buy thousands of them, and then put a big sign over the variety, and they still ask what it is, and how big it gets.

I have customers who think that if I bless a plant, it will do what they want. They ask me if a particular plant will do well in sun (yes, around the mailbox seems to be a synonym). If I tell them that it doesn't, they seem to think if they keep asking and bargaining I will relent and say it will, and by magic it will.

I get them who pick up a zonal geranium in a seven inch pot I've paid a buck for the cutting, and inform me they can get one just like it (prolly 4" seed grown) from *mart for a dollar, why am I so expensive? I usually tell them to go for it. LOL. When I don't drop the price, they usually end up buying it anyway, so guess it's their way of bargaining.

Or the ones who look at a whole bench of potted plants so alike they look stamped out by a cookie cutter, and then ask me to pick out the best one because I 'know what I'm doing'. When I do, they argue and want me to pick out a different one. And repeat the excercise five or ten times. I sometimes think they simply need some one-on-one and I'm cheaper than a therapist.

My fav one from my retail days is the customer who rings you up, asks for a specific variety and when you tell them you have it, they come back with "Are they nice?" I just want to say "No lady, I sell crap".

One of my favorites from my days as a buyer/manager for the perennial department of a large, local retail nursery known for its plant selection and professional staff: busy weekend, height of the season - I am in the department stocking, straightening, grooming and fluffing and being available to answer questions, etc. A well-dressed woman half my age with a cart full of plants comes up to me and asks "do I know anything about these plants"!! Well, they're GREEN!! Geez....no lady, they just hired this middle aged grandmother to be a pretty face :-))

Why is it that most consumers will do basic research before purchasing just about any product and the bigger the ticket, the more they have researched its features and attributes, but when it comes to plants, 9 out of 10 will not know the first thing about them and and buy entirely based on appearance or their current size at that time (they DO grow, you know!!)? And then seem flabbergasted when informed that tree will eventually get 30' tall or that shrub will be 6' wide in a few years.

Then there's driving 40 minutes on the freeway to favor a place with your custom, parking in the employee lot because the customer lot is full when you get there - there is no street parking nearby - with other cars immediately backing up behind you while you stop behind someone ahead of you waiting for the only spot with a car being backed out - and returning to your car to find an employee has parked you in.

After alerting a manager to the situation, waiting 5 or 10 minutes for the employee to come out you are greeted with "Now you know!".

I've been on both sides of the aisle many times over the years, and am starting to find the rude and ignorant "professionals" I'm encountering in nurseries here to be a bore.

The alternative to all those stupid nursery shoppers is no nursery shoppers. Most owners/occupants are not gardeners with plant knowledge and experience, if those were the only people coming in the industry would pretty much dry up.

We all have to blow off steam to each other, because you have to grit your teeth and not do it to a customer. The exceptions are rude and boorish customers and for the last 20 years, I can blow them off if I want to because I own the place. I've only done it a couple of times, but believe me, it was worth the wait.

Some people have better personalities for dealing with non-gardeners with no plant knowledge than others. That's why I don't do much retail anymore. It's not just in the green industry, the phenomenon is present in all industries. These are more 'inside jokes' than anything else. That's also a phenomenon in all industries. We all know where our bread is buttered.

This year, I have concentrated on selling from home (I have a home-based nursery and have been growing and selling for 15 years). So, my questions are the same as above- I totally appreciate that many customers have no clue about plants- I basically assume the KISS principle, and can quickly read if the customer DOES know the difference between an annual and a perennial- but this weekend in particular I had more customers telling me how surprised they were at how much I knew...? One fellow asked- Did you used to run a nursery? HUH? We're standing in one...:>)

But the one that took the cake, was an email after my three day weekend Plant Sale and Open House was over- "OH- I hope hope hope you have some of those Irises left- I've been looking for those for years." (I advertise on Craigslist and had several ads, I assumed it was the picture of Iris siberica 'Silver Edge'). When I replied and said Yes, I have lots left, I noticed two pots that were just about to bloom, she sends another email- How wide across are the flowers? OK- is it just me? But that question bugged me- #1 I don't remember exactly how many inches across the flowers are (they're not blooming yet)- I did Goggle it for her, and found out. But, #2, you've just finished telling me you've been looking for these for years- now you're questioning the flower size?

And, not a pet peeve, but one that I giggle at each time, is the "What is that pretty blue flower called?" Answer Forget-me-not! :>)

>you've just finished telling me you've been looking for these for years- now you're questioning the flower size?I once had a caller who starting out saying they would go wherever it took to find certain apple trees they were looking for become incredulous - and worse - when I suggested a particular place in the nearest large city.

"Bellevue!? I'm not going to go all the way to @#$%! Bellevue!!"

Would have been less than half an hour's drive for them.

Maybe it's because shopping for plants etc. involves satisfying a certain part of the psyche. Or maybe this kind of thing goes on all the time anyway. What can you do but whatever it takes to get what you are offering to sell?

Those of us in the industry know (here I go with another sweeping statement) that 999 out of a 1000 customers are just fine folks to deal with. It's a joy to work with them and help with their plant problems. In our own particular way, we bring a little beauty into other people's lives. That makes the other 1 out of a 1000 bearable.

Of course, that 1 customer also makes the best stories to tell in the break room...

I've become more professional over the years (or a little number) but as I've seen and heard a fair amount of customer foolishness I have a pretty short list of peeves.

The 5-fifty-niner guy, one minute before close, who wants a lot of attention and help. I'm sorry, but I've been here for 11 hours, had 15 minutes for lunch, and 3 whole days off in the last 60. You catch me at a particularly bad time to be gracious...

And those folks who really do expect a plant to be perfect and blemish-free for all its existence. Got a little scorch, or a few holes in the leaf, or they let it get too dry, and they're back after yanking the thing out of the ground and want credit. I dunno, I just want to ask them, when your kids got acne, did you go to the hospital and say, "Hry. my kids are ugly, I want my money back."?

Gosh I feel better now...
brian

I had a store to whom I had sold garden mums for resale. I gets this call one day if I'd refund them for a large order they sold the woman who bought them wanted to return. I am sighing now, just like I sighed when I got the call. They would refund her, if I refunded them.

I ask the manager if the customer told him what was wrong with the mums because it was my only problem this season and the ones still on the bench were beautiful and disease and pest free. He said the customer told him they'd 'turned brown'.

I had to see this one, so told him......yeah......but she'll have to cough them up and return them to you......physically before I credit you. I guess I was just feeling passive aggressive because I knew it wasn't a legitimate complaint. I also wanted to maintain this account, so didn't want to put the store in a spot.

Instead of telling the manager to dispose of the plants, I drove into town to look at them. This, I had to see.

There are about thirty beautiful, once potted garden mums, still green and lush. They had just gone out of bloom. So, she wanted them out of her garden. I wonder if she just 'borrowed' all the rest of her flowers? That's what it amounted to.

That's come up here before, that is people taking advantage of return policies at big box stores to use plants temporarily and then bring them back for a refund. Maybe this was somebody trying to do likewise.

Had a cute one yesterday - little boy, maybe 3 years old, asks his mom, "Are we gonna get a stroller for the plants?" (meaning a cart)

My contribution to this thread is less a pet peeve but more a casual observation about "selling". Though I am now out of the biz, I used to sell plants at the local farmers market and before that at our city's massive flea market. Before I set up shop I spent quite a bit of time doing research to figure out the best way to go about things. I also read everything I could get my hands on and all the printed word went on and on about how to treat your customers. I don't kiss a lot of you-know-what so I was concerned that my attitude would possibly rub some people the wrong way but then I noticed that some of the big shot vendors at the markets were people that in no way hid their rough-around-the-edges personalities. One guy was so rude that I wouldn't consider buying from him, but he always sold out and had a long line of loyal customers. People remembered him for his sourness AND the quality of his plants. And when someone wanted to buy something knowing full well they were only going to use it temporarily and then bring it back for a full refund - they never took advantage of him, he'd tell them just what to do with their plants and use a lot of foul language in the process.

Now I don't think that everyone selling stuff needs to step over to the dark side, but at the same time everyone should be allowed to set their own limit as to how much they will endure. You can only be so nice, so much of the time.

When I was coaching another newbie vendor at the flea market I would always point out that behind every flaky "customer" there is a person with money in their hand that wants to buy your product no questions asked. You have to develop the skill at getting rid of the people that only seem to want to waste your time. This approach won't fly in a brick and mortar store, but in open air markets you often get these people that aren't really there to buy anything and they don't mind tying up a lot of your time if they can.

My favs this year:
During the busiest time of the season, just before the busiest weekend of the year, a person on the phone asks if I have certain plants in stock. I say yes. Caller: "Will you have them next week when I can actually come out?"

Background: We publish a catalog at the beginning of the season, just before we open, that lists all the plants we plan to grow for that season. We are very much a destination, and people drive from hours away for our selection of herbs and tomatoes. In the catalog, I give general times when crops like tomatoes will be ready (got tired of opening day,mid-march, questions like "where are the peppers/tomatoes?"). eg. "Tomatoes will be ready after mid-April but not before".
The "peeve": Guy comes to the register mad as heck, throws his catalog onto the counter, right in front of me and shouts "Where are the tomatoes, it is April 16th. You said the tomatoes would be ready after the middle of April! I just drove over an hour just to buy TOMATOES". And I actually said, "The catalog also says to please call to check availability". It must have been the lack of sleep, but it was definitely the wrong thing to say. The situation got worse as he shouted back "I ain't gonna call'. As if he was too busy to spend 60 seconds on the phone before wasting an hour driving. It was both comical and painful as we both began shouting at each other while I rang up the few plants that he also brought to the register to purchase. Fortunately, there were no other customers in the place. Unfortunately, it will probably be the last $40 he'll spend with me.

I have a few (even wholesale accounts who should know better) who will call and say what do you have? They refuse a catalogue, but expect me to tell them over the phone every variety of plant we are growing. I usually preface it with "you don't really want me to do that" but if they still insist and I am feeling passive aggressive, I'll start reading it to them. They usually stop me half way through the first sheet.

I know the 'angry customer'. I have had some who get mad at me because they got lost trying to find me. Also one who won a gift certificate for a private session to learn how to make a living wreath. Instead of calling ahead to schedule a time to do it, he showed up in the middle of the day, unannounced and was really mad I couldn't stop everything and take an hour or two to do it then.

I don't know how you do it.
When I stop into the local garden center to pick up a few "last minute" things I cannot believe the questions customers ask the staff and the inordinate amount of time they spend with a customer who buys virtually nothing.
And I guess my pet peeve is that my "last minute annuals" for my customers usually amounts to hundreds of dollars a trip, but I have to stand there and wait fort he salesperson to finish with the 2.75 four pack person.
I think triangle john makes a good point - I qualify my landscaping customers extensively before I spend any significant time with them, doesn't the same hold true for the garden center business?

Since I just held my annual Open Garden for my daylilies, I can tell you the silly questions, not really peeves, that I had to answer ...

I have 400+ daylily cultivars, and not all on the sale list since some are new and some are sold out. The daylilies are grown in clumps in raised beds in what used to be a horse pasture.

One woman wanted to know if the daylilies were planted alphabetically as they appeared on the price list. That's not the first time I've gotten that question and it really boggles my mind. The concept of moving 400+ daylilies around every year when I add or subtract cultivars is just too much to imagine.

Another young woman asked the prices, and I told her they were priced anywhere from $5 to $100. She asked if I could point her to where the $5 daylilies were. Never had that request before. Had to tell her that there was no specific spot for $5 daylilies, that they were all intermingled.

Those were the two silliest I remember.

Places featuring plants in containers do often have plants organized in such ways. They may be shuffling them around fairly frequently for other reasons anyway. Your visitors were probably using that frame of reference, not realizing that your situation would be different.