ROTFLMAO!! thank you. everytime I get an inkling to think working in nursery sales would be fun, someone like you talks me down! LOL

The rest of this web site also demonstrates every day what the situation is. There are lots of people who have become property owners or taken a recent interest in planting for other reasons who do not have any idea what is involved with what they are trying to do. At least they are willing to attempt to spend some money at garden centers, the alternative is they don't come in at all. (This, of course is one of the distressing aspects of trying to assist people who have hard (or impossible)-to-meet expectations: if they become sufficiently perplexed or irritated they will lose interest and not become repeat customers--or customers at all).

Yew seeds are toxic, but the fleshy red part partly enclosing the seed is not. So, yew berries are both poisonous and not poisonous depending on how you look at it. Kids picking them and eating them whole, seeds included would definitely be quite undesirable.

Here's another good one, told to me by a friend who works at a nursery: Last spring, a woman came in and wanted 10 trees. They had to be the same, they had to be evergreen, they had to be a certain height (and exactly the same height), and they had to be blooming during the week of June 15. Why? Because her daugher was getting married, the wedding was at their house/garden, and she wanted the nursery to ensure that all 10 of these identical evergreen trees would be blooming when her little darling walked down the aisle. She could not understand why the nursery couldn't accomodate her, and would not buy anything. "but the tag says late spring bloom...June is still spring!" Arrrrggggghhhh.

Jenny

That one is related to "Various variations on the theme of an evergreen flowering plant that will remain very narrow, not grow in excess of 6 feet, will tolerate full sun/shade and require no watering or any other care". It's Plants As Furniture.

Plants as furniture, that's a good one! Actually, there is a nursery in town (Austin TX) called Floribunda, and they have a planted sofa and chairs outside in their garden. Just mounded, shaped earth with ground cover--it's pretty amusing. Grab a cold one after weeding and watering, lay down on the planted sofa and you're good to go.

Jenny

LOL
I just got back from my part-time job at a nursery/garden center. Fortunately, I work in the wholesale part, shopped by landscapers and other "green" professionals, most of whom know the basics. When I'm over at retail, it's another story. But I really enjoy talking with customers, and in the process of being helpful, I like to think that I provide a little education as well.

By the way, the "berries" (arils) of red-fruiting yews are, in fact, edible. The aril flesh is fine for even humans to eat; it's the seeds that are toxic. Birds swallow the arils whole and poop out the undigested seeds, and small critters nibble away the fruit and don't touch the seed.

Just noticed that Bboy already played the "edible yew aril" card. Doh! Sorry to be redundant. That's what I get for reading the replies after I post...

Here's one...a tree that NEVER drops anything. But it has to flower, have great fall color, grow fast, but never get too big.

An evergreen that never drops needles, grows well in standing water and full shade.

And on the topic of people and chemicals, how about the woman who was a biochem major in college, preparing on a field in research, who was so afraid of chemicals she tried to get a religious exemption from taking the chemistry lab because of the toxic chemicals, yet she smoked, smoked marijuana, and the classic quate from her was, joints after they've been washed in Tide just aren't the same.

We live in a modern world where we seem to have the concept that we can just order up what we want. As a world society, we have become so far removed from the land that we no longer know that sometimes we have to accept nature for what it is, not try to make it conform to our artificial standards.

Many people come in a present a list of criteria for their plant that would have to be genetically engineered to make it so...but then, they want it organically grown.

And really, most people on these forums wouold hate working for a garden center...then they could no longer complain about the kind of people that garden centers employ.

The clueless show up at any time - if we have some mild, sunny 60 degree days in January, we get one or two folks in asking if we have tomatoes or peppers ready to sell. Honestly...

Heptacodium is quite right - many folks are simply, totally out of touch with the natural rhythym of the seasons - one of the major joys we find working in this business. Part of our job is to educate as well as retail. Sometimes, when they come to us and ask, "What's wrong with my plant? I thought i did everything right!", it is our job to comfort and re-assure - although I am thinking about charging extra for hugs....

brian

My favourite from the days we used to bunch cut flowers and sell them at the market...
"So, I can buy these, take them home, plant them and they'll come back next year?"
Think how much money I could have made. I could have sold single stems as next year's plants.
Another frequent request from our days at the markets...
"What do you have with red flowers that stands about six feet tall, and will bloom all summer long in dark shade where nothing else will grow."
After hearing that request about the seventh time one morning, my partner began advising people to plant a balloon.

Two separate customers, two separate requests, same day. I'm looking for cows lips and I'm looking for hostages. Made me laugh.

I worked for a landscaping company years ago, the bosses wife (she was clueless) ran the nursery.

We'd prank call her (from a jobsite) asking for plants like "Chlamydia japonica" and other fun psuedo latin names.

She would say she didn't know if she could get any Chlamydia but she'd call her supplier and ask if he had any.

customers aren't the only ones....

Drew

We had a customer come in this year asking for concubines. At least they'd keep the hostages happy.

Jokes on ME!!

Me (on two-way radio transmitted to everyone in the company): Jeff, IÂm on my way to town to pick up some hand tools for the garden.

Jeff (my assistant): What are you gonna get?

Me: Just some hard rakes, shovels, and three or four hoes.

Jeff: Hoes?

Me: Yes, hoes! [mildly annoyed]

Jeff: The guys will really like that.

Me: Any requests from you while IÂm in town?

Jeff: Well, I wouldnÂt mind a hoe myself.

Me: [ somewhat annoyed] Yes, JeffÂ..IÂll get you your own hoe.

Jeff: So, what are you going to do with them when you get back?

Me: Well, Jeffery, I kind of thought that IÂd throw them in the cage (where we kept all of the tools) with the rest.

Jeff: Ms. Dorie! THATÂS not very nice! [huge hilarity on the other end of the radio by this timeÂand I FINALLY got the joke.]

There are still people who work at that development company who remember the day that Dorie went out to get some hoes. That was 15 years ago!

I had a client for six years who could never understand that some things don't grow in the shade, she wanted it anyway. I suggested ways that we might reduce the shade or alter the expectation, take out a 40 foot pine kind of thing,but her husband likes trees! At least three times a year I would have the same discussion. I took my wife along once for entertainment, she suggested something ( I can't tell you what). I had to let it go in the end to avoid bloodshed.

Dorie, that made my day. I used to tell people that I'm a horticulturist, but now I just tell them I'm a professional gardener, because too many kept getting hung up on the first syllable of horticulturist. There's only so many times you can listen to the old, tired joke...

If I hear one more person tell me "that plant is cheaper at Home Depot," I'm going to lose it!

Ask them if the one at Home Despot is still alive.

yes,and you people spray all sorts of chemicals around to regulate growth on your bedding plants and perennials...:)

Not at garden centers.

Today I walked off and left an 80 dollar order sitting on the counter because of the ridiculous officious clerk at the checkout who made trying to pay such a hassle I gave up. The way the manager had set up checking out was not his fault but the rest of it was. Blame can also be shared by the other clerk who ignored me when I walked past her station with my box of plants, where it turns out I was supposed to stop and have her pre-process my order. (Slowing my pace briefly as I read the "We'll be right back" sign placed between me and her was not sufficient to lure her scowling face away from the monitor in front of her).

Most of the time I have visited this place the checkout people in the store have been noticeable for appearing openly snooty, even wary--today was consistent with that. Apparently there is a new rule against attentiveness, pleasant tones and expressions, showing interest...I am repeatedly encountering unbridled attitudes elsewhere in retail these days--especially in the comparatively fancy places where you would expect the clientele would be the most demanding of Hudson-like service! Back in my day (by gracky) even just looking at a shopper wrong was considered a sin, let alone being openly disdainful, argumentative...

I'm not interested in serving clerks. That's backwards.

A whole 80 dollars worth of plants! Might be impressive if it was 8000 dollars or even 800 dollars. LOL.

Well that's certainly the key point, isn't it? Let's see, they could have had an 80 dollar sale but instead the sale was...

Then there is the business they won't get in future because I won't be back anytime soon. Speaking of "in future", that's what I was greeted with when I got to the till: "In future, stop at the counter outside and get pre-processed" (or whatever the exact wording after 'in future' was). No "Hi, uh, gee, sorry I guess you didn't notice" or anything else softer than directing me to report to the first counter like a drill sargeant.

I was there to spend, not serve.

Customer service is becoming a bit of a lost art. And may be an explanation why some businesses are so transitory, appearing one day and then a few months or even a couple of years later disappearing. And as bboy notes, that $80 sale may not make or break that business, but it WILL impact future sales - all it takes is one disgruntled customer with an unpleasant experience to tell their friends and the whole thing can snowball.

Whatever happened to greeting people with a smile and the notion that the customer - even when obviously wrong - is always right? The customer afterall is their reason for being. Too many businesses these days have the attitude that you should be paying for the priviledge to shop there. Not!! I tend to patronize a more upscale grocery store, not because their products are necessarily better (and are certainly more expensive than a few others) but because their service is impeccable and always offered graciously. And I am willing to pay more when treated with an attentive, helpful and friendly staff.

Absolutely.

I'll share it with you all, since we've steered this one to customer service.

Occasionally I'll need something that can only be found at a retailer and I drive 1.5 hours to the place. The way they do things, you select what you need and find a sales person to radio in and start/add to your ticket. After you find everything you want, you go pay then come back and load. If you want something from heal in, sales will direct the yard crew to dig and reburlap when necessary.

So here I am braving the impending rain storm, traipsing through the boxwoods when a crew member asks if he can help? I mildly surprised to hear english, say oh sure I'll take these 1st 10 green velvets. He yells to the crew and away they go, I say, don't wait for me I'll be awhile so just set them at the edge...thanks, he nods.

later I'm just getting to the counter in the store when the storm hits, I pay and decide to wait it out as many customers were. A young man blusters in behind the counter and annouces on the PA, due to the storm they will be closing early then proceeds to irritatingly freak about someones 10 boxwood and who was it and did they even pay for them and are they going to get them yadda yadda, he ignores the soft spoken sales girl who is trying to say that I've paid and am standing right there. So I raise my voice a bit and tell him that I will load my plants when I have less chance of being hit by lightening! He's mad because the crew is evidently waiting and I say, tell them to go, I'll load myself... here it is, your moment of zen...

He says, you can't load them, you don't know how heavy they are... mam, they're too heavy for you.

OMG!!!!

I look the boy in the eye, standing there in my company uniform and work boots, felcos at the ready and am perfectly stunned. and all I can say is a very sarcastic EXCUSE ME, who do you think will be planting them?

me thinks the fat little effeminent boy has never lifted a boxwood himself, as I'm sure he thinks that hard work is for the latins... ARGH!

>I look the boy in the eye...So the thunderbolts were in fact heard just then, and not when you first got to the counter?

Her: "How much are those boxwood back there?"

Me: "The ones over that way?"

Her: "No, the ones way, way back?"

Me: "The ones in the "employee only" area?"

Her: "I didn't see no "employee only" sign?"

Me: "O.K., if your talking about the boxwood in the area that is roped off, then those boxwood are not for sale."

Her: "Why?"

Me: "We just re-potted them and they're not rooted out into the bigger pot."

Her: "So can I get a deal on them now?"

Me: "No, we've already done the labor. No deals. Over in this area, are some nice boxwood. Only $6.99 for the gallon."

Her: "I ain't paying no $6.99! When will those in the back be on sale?"

Me: "I don't know."

Her: "What does that mean?"

Me: "To not have the information!?! To be without knowledge!"

Her: "How much will they be?"

Me: "$7.99, have a nice day!"

What about the customer who ask for a "pre annual". I always try and guess if they are going to want a perennial or an annual.

A pre-annual would be a seed.

Fall has not yet arrived in the south. The last two weeks have been spent packing up the house readying all to move to another area. DH dragged down boxes of business records stored in the attic from a nursery business I sold stating it was time to throw them away. I agreed. Spent an hour reviewing the papers and storing a pocketful of rainbow memories of customers and stories I can't post here. Then the papers were shredded. Darned if I did not receive a call two days later from an attorney representing the owner of my old nursery requesting information for a court case...and, of course...the records were gone. I probably will be called to testify in the complicated situation right in the middle of moving. Will make it work somehow as I am so pleased with the way the nurseryman to whom I sold has built the business which is now 54 years old and going strong.

I called a neighboring friend this morning asking if she wanted any of my surplus pots. She was on the doorstep an hour later and took them all. These days I prefer to live a very sequestered life working on horticultural experiments and topiaries. My friend had never visited our yard. She walked away with a ton of ideas. One of those ideas I posted a short time ago on the Propagation Forum under the title...'It's August and time for the toothpick technique'.
Some of you might want to review this propagation method. It is easy and works well, especially for hard to root woody plants.

You all will find that even in retirement the landscaping and plant growing bug is still there. So much easier when you can set your own goals and not deal with business frustrations and customers. I look forward to moving a bit north of coastal SC. where it is easier to grow some of my favorites. And then there are the area manicured golf courses available in the community, the second love of my life. They have been designed and cared for with ecology in mind. Beautiful! It's fall and we are on the move. I'm ready!

Good luck to you with the move, Nandina.
Fall hasn't gotten here yet -- coastal southern New England -- either. Warm and humid, crickets singing, frogs lounging around the fish pond like country club ladies at poolside. Fall is around the corner, but it hasn't knocked on the door yet.

Nandina, the Lowcountry will miss you. ;-)

I am not in retail anymore. I have my own small design and installation biz but it does not get any better. My favorites are the very rich who want to pay a tiny amount for work and/or ask you if you have 'some Mexicans' who will do it for cheap ( of course all Latins are Mexicans ). One lady told me she could not afford to pay much because she had to pay me out of her own allowance! She said this with indignation! On the same day that she told me this she had someone there that she was commissioning for a picture of her dog. She also had a drapery designer there. She had the nerve to show me the material for the drapes and tell me it $350 a yard. Yes, that is three hundred and fifty. Presumably these items did not come out of her own kitty. Talk about your lack of noblesse oblige. She actually expected sympathy about the allowance thing.

Figured since you were a gardener you'd be used to manure being thrown around.