Oh Brendamc - you poor thing! I haven't had the such a heartbreaking experience but I know how stressful it must be for you and how disappointed you must be.

This whole building thing is exhausting and stressful enough if it goes smoothly then add to that dealing with a death in the family and having to come home to the wrong cabinets being installed.

I hope your contractor gets things straightened out soon and doesnt cause too much delay.

I am stressed out enough about money and the economy right now I can't imagine having to deal with what you have had to on top of that!

Please accept my condolences on your loss.

I cannot imagine being physically exhausted from the travel and emotionally exhausted from the funeral, and then not scream at seeing those cabinets. Yep, that surely was worth at least a couple of shrieks. But I'm glad your builder is taking care of it.

brendamc, I'm so sorry. It sounds like you have been through your share of delays and heartache lately. As sprice says, building is so stressful. I really really hope that the builder is able to sort it out without suffering too much of a delay, but how discouraging. We are also waiting on cabinets right now and have been for a really long time, so I completely understand your frustration. You are not alone. Keep your chin up and I hope you get some good news soon. Jaymie

Thanks so much, guys - I feel better... Sometimes I do wonder if this house is meant to be. Our architect fees somehow ballooned from $103K to $153K, & he still wants $18K more and I can't begin to tell you about all the design problems we've discovered while building and changes he made without our authorization that, of course, we had to pay for. We were robbed twice - first time they took 4 custom doors we'd waited 3 months for, 2nd time ripped the copper wire right out of the walls, had to fire our 1st designer, who had a bit of a nervous breakdown (I don't think it was us, however...) Am about to fire the 2nd, who brought these cabinet people to us, she did point out however, that our front door opened onto our stairs & that took about $20K + to fix. Our steel stair support that we waited 2 months for was made incorrectly, setting us back further - they were building the 2nd story of our house using ladders to get up there for months..., the landscaping is basically a disaster & we're afraid our landscaper (recommended by our wonderful architect), was in Chap 11 last year & in serious financial trouble now... with our $55K deposit, we're now $365K over the original budget our Arch estimated, with much to go - I'm guessing at least another $250 min, without any furniture, etc, we also lost my stepmother in Dec after I'm made 4 trips north to care for her, my husband is so stressed out watching his retirement savings get cashed out month after month, and we may just live in it furnitureless until the market goes up & we can sell both homes & downsize as our youngest will be in college then. I know I'm leaving a whole lot out, but... sometimes I wonder if this dream house of mine is really worth it.

But then I go up there and look at the amazing view up and down the California coastline and get somewhat renewed and re-motivated.

Sorry for the b*tching, not a good day...

P.S. I forgot to mention coming home from seeing the cabinets yesterday, opening my mail and finding notice of a lien on our house from an unpaid sub of our wonderful landscaper...

Thank you all SO MUCH for your words of support - they are much appreciated!!

Yes, my sympathies to you also Brenda, you poor girl!
Is it true everything in life is for a reason, and to make us spiritually stronger? If so sounds like you just had your 'mid finals'!

I also question, are all these roadblocks telling me something. I'm hoping it's for me and DH to really appreciate our forever house once it gets finished.

I'm starting to dread going out to our build as each time we find something omitted or not done to code (like yesterday's discovery, of greenboard in the shower). I'm starting to resent disbursing the next draw for more sloppy work.

These days I find myself reciting the AA Serenity Prayer more often:

"God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change,
Courage to change the things we can,
Wisdom to know the difference"!

Note that the Serenity prayer does not forbid screaming at idiots, firing nimcompoops, or hiring a good lawyer. Although it does permit a Mona Lisa smile while doing all that!

You've still got my sympathies, but, dang, my next step would be to find a good lawyer 'cuz I think that there is trouble with that arch, whether or not a contract was smashed.

Wow. I can't even imagine. Makes our building problems pale in comparison. We just finished our home and have recently discovered our builder has drank himself into a bottomless pit out of which, I'm certain, he can't dig himself or his business out. So as a result we also have 2 liens on our house. Not to mention the little things that have yet to be done/finished. However, I want to offer a little light for the end of the tunnel. Building a house is like giving birth, you won't remember the pain after it's finally over-I promise. Keep your mind focused on the end result and keep things in perspective. Things may be rotten right now, but how blessed are we all that we have the luxury of building a dream from scratch in the best country in the world?? :) HUGS.

:) Thank you - you're all right... Perspective is a good thing.

meldy - I had a chat with a good lawyer friend of mine, who feels we have a major fraud case if he keeps pressing this $18K more (the rest we've just had to suck up as we've already paid it...) & who thinks a good letter would shut him up. I'm still trying the nice tact, hoping he'll just go away, but the letter is being drafted as we speak.

My heart goes out to you.

OHMMMMMMM.... What's that prayer again?

Just found out the cinderblock footings for our entire back & right side view fence and parts of the left stucco side wall can not be used & need to call our structural engineer back to give new specs for re-building both and the back wall requires much deepened footings or caissons. as on a slope & they're going to do the side wall in sections & prop each back before going on to the next. Can't even imagine what this all is going to cost. What next??? Seriously...

Didn't the structural engineer inspect the site before stamping approval on the plans? Especially with a slope involved. Or is he related to the arch?

Sorry, but I have this theory about mishaps: Once is an accident; twice is coincidence; the third is a 300 decibel bugle call for in-depth changes to be made. Superchick is right, building a home has many similarities to giving birth, however, I think this house needs a new obstretician.

Thought I replied... yes and yes. But he approved it thinking we were using the old footing, which went down 7 ft. Now our builder says the old footing won't work after taking it down to within 1 block of the ground. Ugh and ugh.

With that in mind, do you think we still have a case to start screaming or not much ground (ha) to stand on?

Wow, this thread makes me feel better (and worse). I thought building would be a dream and it has definitely been more nightmarish than dreamy! We are having to tear out our entire foundation and start over b/c it was built higher than our town architectural board would allow!!! The builder is paying, but still. Now I am upset b/c I ordered windows without really thinking about it and am not totally in love with what I will have, but not sure I want to pay the charges I would need to in order to change them. I have learned that I will go over everything with a fine tooth comb before ordering!!

This was my "dream," and my husband is also watching his retirement savings dwindle and it is VERY stressful. I feel better knowing I am not alone, but I do wonder why anyone does build!! I will say, a good friend of mine told me not to do it and I didn't listen. I guess I thought it would be different for me. Not sure why :)

Anyway, hang in there. It is great to have the support of this board.

kelleg - I am SO sorry about your foundation - at least THAT was ok on our build :) I got you know what'ed on my windows, too - just another long & sad story. After our custom doors were stolen & I got an itemized breakdown for each door, I found out the door to our pool bath (not even the shower - that was supposed to be open air, but due to structural problems... so it's a door to just a sink & a toilet) cost over $3K. I really could write a book about what not to do, but we felt we hired the best (they certainly were the most expensive) & trusted people. Duh.

I don't think there's a one of us who was not warned by friends we SHOULD have listened to...

Yes, the support of this board is great - at least I can take some satisfaction that I'm helping some of the people that are offering me such kind words, feel a bit better about their own builds!

Take care... and stock up on wine :)

I had similar expectations. My dream house was supposed to be completed by June 30. Now it is supposed to be completed by August 1. We will see but I'm not sure that will happen either but I have my fingers crossed. I guess the irritating part is that my contractor keeps taking on little jobs that slow my house down since he has less people working on it. Is it normal for a contractor to do this? I am also making sure everyone who works on the house signs a lien waiver after reading your experiences above. My contractor also doesn't seem to managing the project very well such as not ordering cabinets so they arrive in time to be installed on schedule. I decided to order my cabinets from IKEA so they will be on site. I guess as a project manager, I find it frustrating when there is no plan that the contractor seems to be following.

Here is a link that might be useful: My Dream Home

brendamc,

I don't come on this board often anymore but felt I needed to reply to your post.

It took us 3 years to build our home and reading your post has brought back many of the reasons we always said we would never do it again including a long illness and final passing of my M.I.L. then moving F.I.L. who is 86 to be close to us- all while we were building.

The story of your incompetent architect reminds me of our's who made a huge mistake by not including snow-load trusses for our 4200 elevation home. The mistake wasn't caught until everything was roughed-in and caused a 3 month work stoppage while our County Planning department decided if they would allow us to retrofit or if we would have to tear the house down and start over. Plus the cost of this mistake was substantial (our architect makes monthly reimbursement payments to us). We were allowed finally to retrofit another 50 smaller trusses into our home.

Everyone has tales of horror. Like your's, our home ran close to $300k over what we thought it would/should. We live in a high-fire danger area in SoCal (in fact there was a fire this weekend behind our home that made the national news). We're also about 400 feet from the major earthquake fault in California. Anything could happen to our home. But what I wanted to tell you is that all those reasons for NEVER building again go away every time DH and I sit on our back porch (which we do nightly). We LOVE the area we built in and our home. It is a refuge for us and I walk around even after a year and wonder how we got so blessed.

I know this is a long post that's bouncing around but basically what I'm trying to tell you is if this is your dream home like it is ours, then it will be so worth it once the labor pains have fogged in your mind.

you know, even takign into consideration all the things that usually go wrong on a build, this just screams incompetence. i would be talking to a lawyer to see where you stand on suing them. it is not unusual to go 25% over budget, but unless this house will be several million dollars they are costing you way more than that.

i understand pricing is ridiculous out there, but going several hundred thousand over is absurd, ESPECIALLY since some of the changes were not authorized yet you are still expected to pay for them.

Hi brendamc. I read this thread and just wanted to let you know that I really feel for you! I am not building a home and never have but am lurking in this forum because we might build a retirement home a few years from now.

I'm so glad that many GW's have posted their support and ideas for you. You certainly didn't deserve any of this! I hope it flows better after this and it turns out as nicely for you and your husband as it did for kats.