OK, I'll play:

1) Would you ever build again--under any circumstances? (requires assessing the gains/losses you expect to have from your build) If so--what circumstances would it take to prod you into building again?

Sure, if we won the big mofo $300mm Powerball. Otherwise, nope. Don't have enough time, money or ambition to do it again.

2) How would you approach your project differently next time, having learned what you've learned so far?

Next time we would take a slow sailboat cruise around some tropical waters (remember, we won the Powerball), complete with ruggedly handsome crew required to be shirtless at all times and a kick ass galley in which I can play (gotta feed all those good looking men, right?) and a state-of-the-art Mac laptop station and sat phone where I could view pics and dictate change orders.

3) Think your family agrees with you?

I'm pretty sure it would take a $500mm Powerball win to get mr. sandyponder to agree to another build, but I think I could get him to come around if we won the $300mm as long as some of the shirtless sailboat crew were women. As for 9 yo DD, as long as we brought our dogs, the entire Harry Potter collection of books and her posters of DR et al to decorate her salon, she would be up for the cruise. And the stinky doofus muttskis? They would build again in a heartbeat, they loved that there was an unlimited supply of wood to chew and and workers who petted, fed and threw the ball for them.

sandyponder

1) Would you ever build again--under any circumstances? (requires assessing the gains/losses you expect to have from your build) If so--what circumstances would it take to prod you into building again?

No. Never again. Not under any circumstances. They will take me out of our new home toes up in a pine box. Period.

2) How would you approach your project differently next time, having learned what you've learned so far?

With the knowledge that EVERYTHING, and I do mean everything is much more difficult and more expensive than you imagine it will be. If done correctly.

3) Think your family agrees with you?

My gut response to this question is "I couldn't care less", but the actual answer is yes, they agree. It has taken a toll on everyone, especially my children.

never - ever - again.

the next time we will be buying an existing home. i will look for quality and add what I think is needed.

yes - my DW tells me alomost everyday that she wishes we ditched the land and bought an existing home. i now agree with her.

We aren't because we hope that we will live out our lives in this one, but for those who would, the first one is the greatest teacher!

nope....this is our forever home. But this is not our first. We are owner/builders and doing all of the work ourselves. These are the things I learned along the way:

House #1:
1980 we were 21 years old and living on 7 acres in a mobile home. The trailer burned to the ground so we decided to build. we knew nothing about building, and the county at that time only did one insection...and that was septic tank hook-up. I designed the 1200 sq ft house myself and we built it with mentoring from a retired disabled builder we knew. Everything about that house was wrong...it would never pass today's building codes, but it's still standing and in good shape. We lived in it while we were building. BIG MISTAKE!!! It's nearly impossible to finish a house when you're living in it. It took a few years, and there was no mortage on that one. But then we got the bright idea we needed more land and a bigger house for our growing family, so here comes house #2.

House #2 was 3 stories and over 3000 sq ft. we bought 28 acres of land. I used commercial plans and altered them a bit. Again...total DIY project. We hired day-laborers to help us which really ran the costs up. We had a big mortgage on this house and land. Kids married and moved out (still on the land with us though), so now this house was WAY too big for just us, and there was a much prettier house spot farther back on the property, so we sold the house with 3 acres and paid the mortgage off. We bought an older mobile home and moved to the back of the property and started building again.

house 3: It's the perfect size. Only 2 bedrooms, but lots of large common areas so entertaining and visitors (and grandchildren) will be no problem. the view from the sunroom is breathtaking. the house is surrounded by large mature hardwoods. There is a 5 acre pond site (and another 1 acre pond site) which the house will overlook someday. This one is no mortgage and no day-laborers....we are doing this one all by ourselves again. I am nearly 50 and don't want to do this again....so this is it. I do not find it to be a stressful or difficult experience though. Our marriage has witstood the test of working together to accomplish these goals and we both actually enjoy working on the house! But no...we won't do another one. We will grow old together in this last house.

1) Would you ever build again--under any circumstances? (requires assessing the gains/losses you expect to have from your build) If so--what circumstances would it take to prod you into building again?

Right now I want to say no. BUT...things REALLY have not been all that bad, just slow. It really has been kind of fun when things do happen. I do reserve the right to change my mind :-)

2) How would you approach your project differently next time, having learned what you've learned so far?

Buy a house already built!

3) Think your family agrees with you?

Not sure, DH would probably do it all over again but I would have to really ask him. DD could care less one way or the other really! LOL! All she wants is a room to call her own.

It took me two years to get to this answer, but I've gone from No Way to Maybe. I wouldn't do it again with young kids and I wouldn't do it without a sizeable pot of money for landscaping and decorating. That said, I likely will never build again because DH's answer is an emphatic, "Never".

Sarah, you know what i did about landscaping? I learned how to propagate plants. When we first decided to build again, I started propagating LOTS of different kinds of plants. Most of them are now living in 3 gallon pots. buy the time I need them for landscaping, they will be VERy nice sized shrubs for no money. I have hundreds of them...just waiting.......

LOL! I swore I'd never do it again the last time, and that was a much easier semi-custom house in a neighborhood. But here we go again!

I'm not so sure I want to do it again this time and I'm just getting started. But I will.

The DH doesn't think it's so awful, but he's not the one who worries about every detail and making it all go together smoothly.

This time, I swear I'm never doing it again unless I hit the lottery and money is no object. But I bet I do!

The only way I'd build again is if we decided that we wanted more land (we have five acres) or if the land surrounding us, that is currently pristine meadowland and pastures, was turned into a subdivision, thereby ending our privacy and gorgeous views. Otherwise, we built the house to suit us for many years to come.

However, despite our terrible building situation and our awful builder, I would build again if the urge struck based on the conditions mentioned above. The big thing I would do different the next time would to be my own contractor. I know that the builders on this board disagree with that concept, but we ended up acting as the contractors in many situations with our current build and at least we'd have more control. I would anticipate the build taking much longer if we were our own contractors, up to 1-2 years longer, but I think it would be worth it in the end to avoid the problems that we encountered with our builder. I'm sure there are good builders out there, but we had such a bad experience that it would be a long time before I could trust a builder again, no matter how fabulous they seemed at the start of the project.

I know that my DH agrees with me on this subject and we're on the same page regarding when, why and how we'd build again.

Hopefully, we won't ever have to make that decision and we can just stay in this beautiful home we've built.

1. This has not been a fun experience, so I have no urge to go out and start another house for myself. I do, however, feel inclined to start a spec house. I am thinking very seriously of getting into the business over the next few years. But, on a personal level, I would only be inclined to build again if we (somehow) outgrew our home, decided to move to another area (unlikely), or if we were in the position to have a vacation home (far in the future).

2) I would employ an architect over a draftsman. I would keep that architect on board to oversee the project for me. I'm not sure if I'd self-GC or just do a better job of hiring a GC that is as obsessive as I am! I tell my husband often that the next time we build, I am going to sit back and hire an architect, a landscape architect, and an interior designer. They can come and bring me ideas (like Designer's Challenge on HGTV), and I can pick what I like and dislike over and over again until all the decisions are made! I quite like that idea. We would never buy a house already lived in...we would possibly consider an under construction spec house. But, that's doubtful too...I don't want to give up any control. Hmm, I think I will just self-GC it!

3)I think that my husband is in agreement. Although, I think he'd put off doing any more builds until he is in a better position to be involved on a daily basis. That, unfortunately, will probably not be soon! Unless we're the ones who hit the Mega Millions jackpot :)

1) Would you ever build again--under any circumstances?

Yes, absolutely, but not given current market conditions.

2) How would you approach your project differently next time, having learned what you've learned so far?

Only minor things. If possible I would try to be physically close to the build. We had a few glitches because I wasn't on site.

3) Think your family agrees with you?

Yes.

It's interesting to see our similarities and our differences here, as always. I'll answer my question for myself now.

1) Would you ever build again--under any circumstances?

Yes, but I'd hate it REAL, REAL MUCH. This is meant to be our final house. We haven't even broken ground yet and it's already been the single hardest thing we've ever done. But if I were forced to move, I would build again rather than live in a house that is not built to meet our needs and which lacks the quality of construction and mechanical systems we're using. That's the only reason we're building now--we could not find that.

There is one other circumstance that would lead me to build again. Thanks to this forum I realize how much we gave up when we choose a lot without a beautiful view. It was the best we could find given our desire to live out our old age close to medical facilities, shopping, services. So, if ever a view lot were available close-in where we could be old safely and comfortably, I would consider building again. But, I'd need a LOT more money to grease the wheels of the process. One thing I'd do is buy us a Personal Assistant who basically would handle the build. Like Dixie said, he would bring me all the stuff, meet with the designers and builders and be the go-between. Kind of a chief of staff.

2) How would you approach your project differently next time, having learned what you've learned so far?

I'd put far less faith in the professionals who are supposed to be the experts and trust my own abilities more. No architect next time. I finally was the one who designed our plan, and I would build essentially the identical plan again. I would want the same builder we have now; so far he's been more help than anyone else. He's as old as we are, so he'll probably retire on us. So, that goes out the window.

3) Think your family agrees with you?

Probably, as long as I'd do most of the work and worry again. But DH could be enticed into another build the same way he was enticed into this one: by my insistence that it include a new woodworking shop at least triple the size of his existing one. It worked this time! Let's see, next time we'd have to go triple a 16 x 24 ft. shop. Hmm...

Thankfully, I don't believe the particular set of circumstances that would have to coexist to entice/force me to build again would ever come about. I hope to heck I never have to do this again. I'm too old and too tired for it this time.

Yes, I would build again (but not for us -- as a spec house).

See my blog about it all. My DH and I built 2 homes within 3 years for ourselves. I had built one in 1990. He had built 3 before marrying me in 2002.

Family agrees. Everyone loves this house, this land, this neighborhood, this location.

Cameron

1. Yes! I'm sure we'll build a nice, little house on a lake somewhere in northern Michigan. (Probably in about 20 years.)

2. Nothing we did compels me to do it different next time around. Things went pretty well. I would like to do 100% of the woodwork, including making all of the cabinets, built-ins and molding. (Would have to budget for a LOT of time.)

3. You bet!

No.

Heck, I don't even want to MOVE again, or sell a home again (last 2 were FSBO).

I just want to be lazy for a looong time and enjoy life.

Sick of decorating the stinkin house too.

If I ever have to move again, the next place might be a trailer. I am done with all the choices and all the To Do lists. Done, done, done.

Ive worked as a designer for an architectural firm now for 25 years....and never in a million years would I put myself through that process again. Im too old...too much of a perfectionist...too much of a "worry-wart"...and life is too darn short.

1) Would you ever build again--under any circumstances? (requires assessing the gains/losses you expect to have from your build) If so--what circumstances would it take to prod you into building again?

I'd much rather not, but, yes, under certain circumstances, I'd do it again. The circumstances would be: we found that the house we built no longer works for us; we found the perfect lot; we had the financial means; we had the perfect architect and/or designer, and builder. Not bloody likely.

2) How would you approach your project differently next time, having learned what you've learned so far? I'd go much, much slower in the planning stage. I wouldn't move ahead if I had any reservations about any aspect of the plan. I'd budget 20% more than whatever I was quoted. And I'd add 50% to whatever time frame I was quoted for anything. I'd also relax much more during the process. I'd go into it knowing that the perfect house was not going to happen and I'd be OK with that.

3) Think your family agrees with you? I don't think hubby would ever do it again - under any circumstances.

#1-
Yes, but not anytime soon (I'm thinking 10 years...). I love the house we're about to move into. It's been a lot of work and I want to enjoy it! Also, I want stability. Longest we've ever stayed in a place is 2 years--and that would be the rental we've been in while building!
#2-
Spend more time with an architect, not a draftsman. Never completely trust intial bids. That being said, spend more time figuring out ALL the details down to the doorstops before starting, and breathe a sigh of relief when bids are actually somewhat correct!
#3
DH is more anxious than I to build again in a couple years. 'Course, he wasn't the GC either!

1-Oh yes I would build again and we probably will cause no way I will spend all my years going up and down stairs!

2-I would spend much more time on the front end, picking a plan, fixing the plan, and deciding EVERYTHING I want as early as possible. This was our first build so didnt do such a good job at that. I would also trust my gut more-the things I allowed myself to be "talked"-browbeatened-into are the things I deeply regret.

3-Hmm-kids no way-DH maybe more but just moved in so he will probably be more for it later!

1) Would you ever build again?

No, but only because this will be (I hope) our almost perfect retirement house. I only want to make one more move -- as ashes to the bottom of the hill.

2) How would you approach your project differently next time?

I wish this hadn't been the first house we built. Even though we are in the real estate business (we develop apartments and retirement communities), we normally leave the construction to the architects and contractors. With this house, we have been more involved in the details. If I had to do it again, I would probably pick an easier lot to build on (maybe a downtown condo).

3) Think your family agrees with you?

Definitely.

1. Maybe, but I 'hope' we won't have to. If we did, it would be an efficient, simple rectangular retirement home built on property we have, 7 wooded acres with a creek flowing through it. The house we are building is on a larger lake and has more detail and corners. etc., which we love and adds so much to the character of the home. But since we do everything ourselves, we could put up a no frills home much quicker and more economically.

2. I don't need lottery kind of money, but with a little more to work with, it would have been great to have more help and have the house more completed before we moved in. Still living with plywood floors, no trim, temporary cabinets. etc. However, in the end it will be so worth it, it's all ours.

3. Yeah, but we just want to finish this house and be able to enjoy it and life in general (i.e. actually have a life beyond working on the house)! :-)

Jill

Never say never, I suppose, because I swore I'd never build to begin with! But no, I hope we never have to build again. I don't anticipate living here forever since there are a ton of stairs, but if we do ever move, I hope to find an existing home. The build wasn't really bad, it was just so stressful just *because* it is, and I'd really rather not go through that again. Life's too short!

I don't know how we'd do it differently if we did build again, really. And I do think my family agrees with me.

Build again? - if circumstances were right, sure.

What would I do differently - I would NOT visit the site everyday. I would NOT be involved w/ picking out every single detail. I would NOT lose sleep over a light fixture.

Family agrees? My dh said if we ever built again he would give the builder the plans and never go to the site until move-in day.

The day to day grind and decision making is what was so exhausting to us. In the end, everything turned out great and I don't really think that it had anything to do with us being there all the time.

No! I would never build again. THis is our second and both DIY

charliedawg: my brother, after building his first 2 houses himself, bought a spec house in a S/D where he picked out the model plan and selected his finishes, etc. I was blown away that he did that. They've been living there happily for several years now and are just as pleased with it as can be. He did NOT visit all the time either.

I think you're absolutely right. We're all going WAY overboard. It sounds like your experience is that it's not necessary, or even productive to do so. (And I remember you and your quandary over the "safe choice", first choice of light fixtures, BTW. Actually, I liked them really well, so well I might use them myself.)

Would we build again....
I have to agree with Hoosiergirl. Life IS to short. I can't in my wildest dreams think we would do this again.

Hopefully we will not have a reason to move again. We were careful in creating our design and choosing our lot. State Park in front of us and National Forest behind. But I also know that things can change. The reason we built this home was b/c of development around our last home. We had 21 years of view and space until the county (without notice) changed zoning to allow 26 small acreage horse properties directly behind our home. That wouldn't have been so bad but they were custom homes and the one directly at our back fence was scheduled for a 7000sq ft home on 1/2 acre. We would have been BBQing with "Flicka" every night! If something happened like that again we'd move but build again....NO.

What would we do different?
Building a home you will live in is one of the most personal things a person can do. Lots a energy, lots of love, lots of stress go into it. DH talks sometimes about a spec. Knowing it's not "ours" takes all those other factors away and it becomes just another business deal. He "knows" he could do it better. He's a good businessman and was amazed at our GC's waste of time and materials which for us equated to $$$$$$$$$$

Our family?
It wouldn't even be a topic. They're my children... NOT my parents!

Build again?

I'd have to say yes. We haven't broken ground on this one yet, but we have (in the last 3 years) completely gutted and renovated a 100+ year old townhouse and doubled the size of our current house with an addition.

My husband often reminds me that "you have to enjoy the process, not just the result, or it's not worth it." So I try to keep that in mind, and so far, we've just been having FUN.

Do differently?

Well, like pinktoes, I learned from the first project (the townhouse) not to pay ridiculous amounts of money to an architect and then end up designing the plans myself. This time we're using a house designer.

And I also learned to actually CALL references, a bunch of references, before trusting a builder. Made that mistake on the first one, too. I chose the 2nd builder based specifically on his references. I figured I'd heard so many people tell me that they couldn't recommend their builder that when I heard over and over again, "He's a good man." "He's an honest man." about a builder, I should jump on it.

Would family agree?

My husband's already asking what we're going to do to keep busy when this one's done. And my two-year-old and 3-month-old sons just love to watch the big trucks . . . .

micahjo: I bought DH (age 59) a child's board book with big earth moving equipment on it (front end loader?). The book has plastic rolling tires that it stands up on. Each page describes different things that the machinery can do. Got it at my Publix grocery store. He needs something to play with during this interminable time while waiting for the big equipment to actually arrive on site.

Would you ever build again--under any circumstances?

Certainly! I havenÂt started living in the new house yet but I can already see the handwriting on the wall - the house weÂve built is far too large for one or two persons. ItÂs a loong walk from one end of the house to the other and 16 acres is going to require lots and lots of upkeep.

Plus, underneath all the pain, delays, cost over-runs, sleepless nights and gut-grinding angst, I believe I have truly have enjoyed the process. There is nothing like seeing your dreams and drawings come to fruition in glorious concrete 3-D.

How would you approach your project differently?

IÂve learned to be better at telling the difference between good subs and bad subs much earlier in the process and I donÂt hesitate to fire the bad ones before they can cause too much irreparable and/or expensive damage.

Think your family agrees with you?

Harruph If I ever do build again it will be with a different partner - There is no way IÂll put myself through that aspect of the process againÂ

1) Would you ever build again--under any circumstances? (requires assessing the gains/losses you expect to have from your build) If so--what circumstances would it take to prod you into building again?

2.5 years after moving in, I've gone from "No way," to thinking about what the next one will be like. Part of it is that I learned a lot of what I want by doing the first one. Part of it is that my tastes have changed some since doing the first one.

2) How would you approach your project differently next time, having learned what you've learned so far?

I'd have a better contract with more detail and more control for me in terms of how things get done compared to what is written. And I'd build a smaller house.

3) Think your family agrees with you?

Not sure. Won't do it for a long time regardless.