I suspect that's "just the way she is"....and I know drives me nuts! I know someone who stands by you when you are drinking your iced tea or whatever else she has offered and wipes the wet spot off the table every time you pick up the glass!
Try saying something like "Mom, why don't I help you get things on the table so we all can sit down together and we don't have to wait for you to finish?" and while she is still eating and everyone else is finished and watching her smack her lips, say...Excuse me...I'll get started getting the desserts out while you wait for Mon to finish her dinner.
My son's MIL pulls those stunts...so not all holiday dinners are at their house....
It won't help...but you will know you have tried!
By the way, this is a control issue. This is her way of showing she is in control and making sure everyone focuses on her for a while at least.
The lady wouldn't by any chance be a Jewish Bubbe now would she? They seem to learn that kind of behavior at their mother's knee....it's a standard joke along with taking rolls home and Chinese restraunt shrimp!
Your best bet is to plan for it and take your knitting!

LindaC, I can't believe you said that!

I just found this forum recently and am loving it. I now know that what SIL does has a name: over hostessing! It's so perfect. But SIL has added a dimension. Over hostessing is acompanied by wipes of her brow, deep breaths, and pretending she's distracted. It's quite a show. We are all to be amazed at her prowess!

Then there is the "encore performance". She tells everyone every darned step she took to buy, cook and present the feast. The audience has to roar its approval. Again and again. Truly, she even gives us the directions to the supermarket. I swear.

Then, the finale is when her husband has left everyone and spends the rest of the evening in the kitchen cleaning up, refusing assistance (which I think is rude, but that's just me), she complains that for 3 weeks prior to Thanksgiving she shopped and planned and "did everything" and it's all over in an hour. One time I said if it takes 3 weeks to feed 15 people, she's doing something wrong... didn't go over well.

I will be laughing for days. It finally has a name. Over hostessing! Thanks!

We have a similar person in our family we all choose to throw the events and have her attend trust me it makes for a much more enjoyable time as I get too crazy when at there functions which thank goodness are far and inbetween. I am a avid entertainer and I find the "My house is your house" thing works wonderfully and makes guest feel very comfortable...I pride myself in my organization and preperation which illeviates the hussel and pogo stick thingy when guest arrive.