I've even entertained the idea of going back to school but there truly is nothing I have a strong desire to earn a degree in.

I feel the same way, but I'm a lot older than you. Maybe if I hadn't had a comfortable life with a husband who makes enough to support us all I would have pushed myself harder. I do love school and learning, the only part I don't like is writing papers. Let me learn and test me, but writing papers is what has kept me from going back and finishing my degree.
At your age, and before you have kids I would encourage to explore going back to school. There are lots of classes that you need to take to graduate regardless of your major, so you might start there. Then take classes that you find interesting, and you may find your calling.

The money is what really holds me back with that. Since I don't work in a salon for a living anymore I feel like I wasted all that money in a sense. It also doesn't help to know quite a few people that don't do anything with their degree or wish they would've done something else. At least they have it I suppose. I'm just afraid of shelling out gobs of money only to decide it's not working or to graduate and there not be any jobs available.
Oh, and I hate math. :)

I'll give more thought to what you said. Thanks.

Shee I don't have time to give a long thoughtful response right now but have to jump in here with one thing quickly. Education is never wasted. Never. You may not be using all of the specific skills day to day right now - maybe you never will again, who knows. But some of the skills you learned in school and through experience are about people and those skills are invaluable. As terriks said, maybe take a few classes and get your feet wet in various areas. Something might light a fire in you and you'll find a direction. But please don't ever think education - of any kind - is wasted. It becomes part of your personal bag of tricks.

What a dilemma you have; you say the owners owe you money, that's not a good sign. You've put your thoughts on paper, that's a good start, you're open
to suggestions. I can only wish you good luck.

First, I am on board with your not going back to school. No issues there. I get the very clear impression you are a smart, determine, accomplished, talented lady who can do fine without the paper on the wall to prove it. Here's where I can't connect the dots:

A. Having a salon at the house would be nice but ....ugh, I don't have the time to type and you don't have the time to read all about that right now. Someday.

B. I still really feel like I need a change of pace. In a year or so the plan is to start having kids. Dh and I have talked and I was going to be a SAHM when they were little. At most, only working part time. That would work out well right now if I were only 9 months pregnant and ready to pop.

None of my beeswax, and you don't need to explain, but wouldn't this be the perfect time to start a business from your home and then create a baby?

A big mama hug to you Shee. :)

I lived in a college town, got 30 hours, met dh and married, then worked for the university. So I guess I got my MRS. Degree. lol.

I was never interested in anything specific either. I have more fun learning on my own now, reading what I want to read.

Even though my sons have degrees, not everyone has to have a college degree to be happy.

Here's what I'm thinking. The more people from your office who are going to leave for new jobs, that frees up money for YOUR paycheck. ;) And if you want to start a family next year, why not just stay put? Could you have a one on one talk with your boss and tell him your concerns?

A bit of advice. Don't put off having a family because you don't think "this is the right time." If you wait until the right time, it will never come. We were poor as the dickens when our children were born,and I loved every minute of it!

I know what you mean about change. Fearing the unknown is scary.

DO keep your hair license up to date every year though, don't let it expire.

How close are you to town? I have a couple of friends who added onto their home in the back for their beauty shop, and they're so cute! When I saw Steel Magnolias I wanted to be a beautician! lol

Keep your license current and maybe someday you can take out a small business loan and get started. This way it will be YOUR hours. And your money!

If you do go back to a salon, see if you can get part-time hours.

Hugs to you.

Hey Shee, I don't know what I want to be when I grow up either! And I am 56! If there are positions in your field now, it wouldnt hurt to interview for it( I hate interviewing)It would be better to get paid for working instead of being owed. And if you dont get it, the interview process is great experience. A paying job, even if you dont like it would give you more money to bank and a bit of time to think. The owners have to understand that there is a limit to how much one will/can work for free.
If you were my daughter I would say, don't worry, be happy. You have a wonderful husband and a beautiful house. You have already learned great skills in decorating- and enjoyed doing so.You can go back to do hair- that is a wonderful talent and a great fall back in this day and age- people will always need their hair cut.
It's a heck of a long road and a fun ride to get to my age, but it is still taken one step at a time.
( sometimes I think I am one of Peter Pans lost boys(girls)

WAIT... I need to clarify as I just realized how that sounded. When I said "owners owe us money." I probably should've said CLIENTS here. People we do work for owe us money and we owe the vendors money. We're all getting pay checks! :) Nobody would be there if that were the case, including me.

Dlm - My parents both say the same thing. :) In my mind I feel like if I'm not using it it was a waste. Who knows when it could be useful in the future I suppose.

Mitch - Thank you! At some point (soon) I'll stop sulking and suck it up. Takes me a bit with stuff like this. I know it's life and of course I'll be ok. I was thinking today how I dealt with the job transition 6 years ago. I was single and all of a sudden jobless. I needed to do something fast. Sucked it up and lived through all the new "change".

Graywings - I'm flattered. Thanks. Guess you got the impression I didn't want anyone to think I was worthless because I don't have a college education, huh? You were right. That bothers me when people think everyone needs the paper in life. When I did consider going to college I just wanted to play sports. I was going to take general courses and decide later. Followed my hair dresser dream instead.

Trying to explain this without being too lengthy...

When I decided back in high school I wanted to do the whole salon thing I knew someday I wanted a family and wanted to have a shop at the house eventually. Like anything else there's a ton of regulations etc. you have to go by to own/operate a shop. I was pretty serious about this about a year ago and printed out a bunch of info. Certain questions that weren't answered I contacted the State Board of Cosmetology and they wouldn't answer me. They told me I needed to contact an attorney to find out. It really made me mad actually. I wasn't ready to pay to chat with an attorney at the time. I was frustrated and fed up with the whole thing. No hair stylist around here is going to want to answer my questions. Their business and how it's ran is really none of my business. I'd also be the new competition. Plus, because of where we live out in the stix I'd say there are at least some home salons that aren't inspected and paying taxes. They're not going to want me to know that.

We don't have a place for the salon at the house right now. Eventually when we build on a breezeway and garage we were going to add it then. There's just no way to attach it because of all the things we want to do with the backyard eventually. Can't put it in the basement. The basement became more important to us to finish than the garage. The basement is in the process of being framed out right now and we're on the way to finishing it. Speaking of basement, I bought (used) salon equipment the other year and it's just sitting down there. I've been debating if I should get rid of it for now or store it. ........

.........Oakley - touching base on the "not the right time for kids" thing and continuing my tale.......

I'm not emotionally ready for kids quite yet. DH is but we have a goal to get at least the gym in the basement finished. The gym we go to now is a good 25 min. drive from the house. We don't get home until later in the evening as it is now and neither one of us are ok with the idea of seeing your kids only to put them to bed. - If you can help it! We think it's important to work out and take care of yourself but it will be easier to do this and create new schedules once the gym is in place at the house.

So going back to the salon thing... because of where I live it wouldn't be a stable source of income. More like a little extra/something fun to do. So that would be ok later. If there was more money we'd get the salon up and running but the basement is more important to both of us right now.

Want to clarify a wee bit on the "not emotionally ready for kids". I'm getting closer. I just enjoy sleeping in if I want. I like doing what I want to do. I'm very content with just DH and myself right now. I'm getting more excited. I want to decorate a nursery! LOL. (of course I'm not) My sister is in the same boat right now and I have a funny feeling we'll end up pregnant around the same time. That would be very cool actually as there are no grandbabies yet and my sister is one of my best friends. Don't get me wrong, if I accidently got pregnant I'd be very happy and all that would go away. For me though it's not about not having enough money. I agree you're never completely ready for kids. Hope this makes sense. DH is still content but he's closer than I am at this point. He'll be 3-0 this year and he wants to be "young" still as the kids get older.

Oakley - I may end up staying put right now where I'm at but I'm really not sure how long we'll be standing. My boss knows my concerns and his words to me were,"We're not going down. I won't let it happen." etc. I know he'll go until he just can't make it go anymore.

Cooper - Oh interviews... don't remind me! I need to do a cover letter actually.
One day at a time.

You know, I'm actually a very private person IRL!! I have no idea why I feel comfortable talking to you guys on here.

Well that wasn't short but honestly, I knew it wouldn't be. :)

Shee, sounds like the uncertainties in your present job have really caused you to step back and reassess where you are and were you're going. Thrown into this mix are questions about where you should be going, and I think most of us ask ourselves those questions from time to time. I know that I still do - although not as often as I once did. As Cooperbailey said - I still don't know what I want to "be" when I grow up, but then I have to realize that I am where I need to be, at least for now. I've often wondered if I should have or could have gone into some other line of work, but I'm good at what I do and have been at it for so long that it feels like second nature to me now. I can't say that I'm passionate about my career, and sometimes I kinda envy people who are. I think those people are few and far between though. Most of us end up doing what we have to do to pay the bills. It's a job, not necessarily our driving force. And I've really become more or less ok with that. I have countless other ways to define myself outside of what I do to bring home the paycheck.

I took a few college classes, and I still love to learn. I'm just not all that interested in school itself. I have no desire for a degree, although I have a tremendous amount of respect for those who pursue higher education. When I was younger I felt a bit self-conscious about not having a degree. Now I just really don't care, as I like who I am and what I know even without a college diploma. Everyone's different and what one is cut out for, another is not necessarily.

You seem to be at a mental crossroads, but don't feel rushed into making any decisions that you are still ambivalent about. You're so young and there's still plenty of time to allow life to unfold before you. That said, it's always a good idea to have at least some outline of a plan in your mind, and it sounds like you do. Keep thinking of what you really want -- you don't have to know what it is absolutely and with certainty right now -- but keep your mind focused in that direction. And of course keep your eyes and ears open for new opportunities that may arise.

Sounds like you do have a direction but you are getting sidetracked. You say the salon has been a dream since HS, and that you have worked in a salon and still want to have your own.

Does it have to be in your own home? I know a woman who worked for someone else in their salon and then established her own. She had a dream of what she wanted it to be like and she went for it. She went on to have 4 kids of her own, she has about 6 people working in the salon, and she can pretty much dictate her own hours now.

Is there a city or town nearby where you live that you could locate a salon in that would have the customer base you need to make it successful?

If that is your dream go for it!! Keep the job you have while you draw up a business plan, scout locations, apply for loans from banks or family members. And consider taking a night course at a community college in business and/or accounting.

That was my dream in high school. The salon thing isn't as glamorous as I thought it would be due to my location and I'm not willing to move. Things I didn't think about and listen to at the age of 16/17. That said, I like doing it and still would like to have the shop at the house someday. I have been looking for jobs in the salon too. There are a few openings here and there. There's nothing close to me so whatever I decide to pursue driving a good bit is a part of it. At this point, going to work in a salon is going to be even more uncomfortable for me than getting another job in the field I'm already in because I haven't done it for so long and I'm spoiled with my current work hours. I'm a little hesitant. I still work on family and friends but that's not the same. I'm sure it would help my confidence more though working at one again for awhile vs. just starting my own, iykwim. Plus salons usually pay to continue your education with classes that are offered so that's a nice freebie. I will most likely at some point look into some courses like you said.

I have a lot of sorting out to do. I'm very uuuugggghh about the whole thing right now.

I appreciate you guys offering advice and support. I just needed to talk this out.

Shee - I totally hear ya! Been there and am sure I'm still there to some point.

There is nothing that I have an interest in getting a 'degree' in so I won't waste money doing that. I like what Oakley had to say and I'm glad I'm not alone.

Recently I wonder if my mom feels like I wasted their money when they were paying for all of my art classes and here I am working as a receptionist at a Dr.s office. Truth be told I love art and had clients but I'm only driven by my passion at the time for what I'm painting and never by what people want to pay me to do for them. I like what I like and what I do.

Anyways - I just want you to know that (and I think you've seen that already) that there are lots of us out there feeling some of the same things. Sometimes it was like a pit in the bottom of my stomach and I couldn't explain why.

One thing that I did want to say though is that I thoroughly enjoyed taking classes at my local community college when I thought I might want to get my nursing degree. I didn't get my nursing degree and ended up as a Medical Assistant instead but I loved taking classes so much that I plan to continue just because I felt good doing it! I stink at math but found that as I mastered my classes I felt a 'drive' to master the next challenge and plan to take more math classes.

My DD went to beauty school and did the whole 9 yards (hair, nails, facials, makeup) and got licensed. Then when she and her (now DH) moved to the small town they live in, she had been offered a job as a nail tech, with her own station. She bought all the supplies and when she met with the salon owner, the offer was withdrawn. DD was disgusted and angry and hurt and said she did not want to do that as a career anymore. That had been her dream since childhood! She had dreamed of having a salon in her home, too.

Her DH is a doctor...and she's sooo sick of everyone telling her that she's so lucky, she got a real catch (his family is VERY well known & connected in their town) and she got really down because she was 'just' a cosmetologist, and she didn't even have a job. So she decided to go to school and get a degree. But she still doesn't know what she wants to do. She once talked about getting her RN so she could open a medi-spa, but now that's out. Perhaps because they also happen to live in a 'sticks' type town, unlike the big city they lived in while she was attending school.

I understand where you're coming from with the feelings of the cosmetology thing!

My aunt started doing hair at a retirement home, and doing house calls for house bound ladies. She built up such a clientele, the nurses, the daughters of her clients, etc that she eventually opened a small place in her home. She outgrew that and opened a small shop. Then a bigger one. Eventually she ended up with 11 beauticians leasing space at her salon! Maybe that is something you can look in to? House calls...what a luxury! Build up some clientele while still maintaining some semblance of home.

I didn't finish college...when I was a kid I had no idea of what I wanted to do. Then when I did get to school I had 3 children and was a single mom. Now my colleagues have a minimum of a Masters, some even PhD's!! But I'm pretty smart and can keep up with these scientists. I'm thinking of taking some more classes, tho...speech, debate and math, to help round out my skills. I have the vocabulary, but am weak at the speaking part.

You'll figure it out Shee...if not right away, some day. The stars will all align and you'll be heading in the direction of your hearts desire.

It might help to ask yourself where you would like to be 5 years from now. How do these potential job situations fit into that plan? The answer to this question can be big and life-altering or it could be simple. In my case, I hope to not be working in 5 years or if I am, definitely not at what I do now. The biggest advice that I think I could give right now would be to sock away as much money as possible so that when you have a clearer idea of how you want to move forward, the money is there to help make the transition easier. Good luck!

Todd - Thank you for your comforting words!

Pesky - Thanks for sharing the story about your DD. I can very well relate to the whole disgusted thing. I hope your daughter figures out what she wants to do also!

My boss was pregnant when I started at the salon. She didn't like doing hair (why she hired me) but loved nails. I quickly had to get proficient in nail to take over her clients while she was on maternity leave. I did and actually started to really enjoy it but missed doing hair. It was an appointments only place as the location wasn't for walk ins. Since I wasn't there all the time the money wasn't enough and I continued working my two other jobs, hostess/waitressing and lifeguarding. After a long period of time I realized I was working literally all the time and not playing. I quit guarding because it made the most sense. Then some things went down at the salon that I didn't appreciate how they were handled. I was expected to drop everything and head to the shop when a needy client called and wanted something fixed. The last time I did the BIG EMERGENCY was a tiny chip in the corner of the acrylic. . . Anyhow, I was disgusted and figured I'd take a little break and find a different job in that field. Very shorty after, my boss at the restaurant was saying some really mean, unprofessional stuff about one of the other waitresses. I opened my mouth, he told me to go home and take two weeks off without pay, I said good bye. Went from three jobs to zero in a very short time, oops. Ran into an old friend and he suggested I hit up a staffing agency. I did and that's how I ended up where I am today.

Funny how that was so not my plans originally!

Tish - The 5 year question is a good one to ask and I believe I know the answer. Just don't ask me 10 years. ;)

Thanks everyone!

I can really relate, even though I'm 52!

I did go and get several college degrees, in music, but by the time I was done I decided there were too many things I didn't like about the music world, on top of the fact that it's so difficult to earn a living. Unless you get one of the few salaried jobs for musicians (extremely hard to do), you have to work for yourself as a freelancer, with all the headaches and uncertainties that entails. (Not so different from your salon experience.) So I've been working in various office-type jobs for the past 15 years or so. I've been in my current job (with a publisher) for almost 10 years. Some days it feels okay; others, I wonder what the heck I'm still doing here. In an ideal world, I would have moved on to another job by now, but the job market is tough out there, especially for women my age, so I stay.

I work a little bit in music, but mostly do it for my own amusement. I'm happy I don't have to depend on it financially.

DH and I have set up our finances such that my entire salary and a good chunk of his are going into savings (retirement and other), so if it came down to it, we could easily live on his salary. If my job became intolerable or if there was something else I really wanted to do, I could quit tomorrow, but I keep plodding away at this because neither condition has been met. (!)