Possibly a little offensive joke.

17 years ago

Hey you encouraged us to come out of lurking. LOL

A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.

The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've

regained consciousness. Now you probably won't

remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the

freeway. You're going to be ok, you'll walk again and everything, but your pe*is was severed in the accident and

we couldn't find it."

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've

got $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have

the technology to build a new pe*is. They work great but

they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1000

an inch."

The man perks up. "So," the doctor says,

"You must decide how many inches you want. But this

is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision."

The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.

The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have

you spoken with your wife?"

"Yes I have," says the man.

"And has she helped you make a decision?"

"Yes" says the man.

"What is your decision?" asks the doctor.

"We're getting granite

countertops."

See it was so appropriate for the decorating board.

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Comments (9)

User
17 years ago
LMAO! Love it! And yes, it's absolutely appropriate for this forum! :-D

(Now me, personally, I'd just stick with my old beat-up tile countertops ... heh.)
parma42
17 years ago
DH's attorney forwarded the same joke to him, a few months ago.

He remembered the problems we had with our new grante install.
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hhireno
17 years ago
Oh, that's funny. I couldn't imagine where it was going and got a real kick out of the punchline.
deedee-2008
17 years ago
If you've ever hung out of the kitchen forum, you'd read how some ladies go gaga when they first have their granite countertops installed....it almost sounds like a cheap romance novel with all the gazing and stroking going on with their new counters!
golddust
17 years ago
Funny joke. Thanks for posting it. I had no idea where it was going either.

It's so true, Deedee. Maybe the granite line could be turned into soapstone countertops. Soapstone people are *really* into their countertops. Oh yeah, the marble people too. They can't wait until that patina arrives in the form of etching from glasses and cups, etc.

Kim, you should post your joke on the kitchen forum. LOL!
walkin_yesindeed
17 years ago
I sent this to my kitchen-obsessed mother, my married sister, and my oldest friend, who loves her granite like no one I've ever met.

Mom roared with laughter and forwarded it all over the known universe. No response from sister yet. Friend: "I guess I had no idea how warped you truly are."

loved it, needless to say!
Faron79
17 years ago
That was damn good!!

Faron
(what would happen though if one spilled Viagra on countertops...!?!?)
deedee-2008
17 years ago
Faron: to answer your quiz: "Nothing" if the husband spilled it, because he didn't "notice" the spill. (Hopefully, that's not like you, Faron. You know a good DH always cleans up his messes and doesn't leave 'em for the wife)
artlover13060
17 years ago
ROTFLOL!! Can't wait to read it to Dh. Perfect for this forum.