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shannon01_gw

My health update

16 years ago

I cried today, really cried. I hugged my dh and cried some more. It is a great day.

I had my final chemo on Monday. My 6th.

My 5th really hit me harder than any. I literally sat on sofa the first week. It was weird. I was physically tired but not sleepy. Moving from sofa to kitchen sink just exhaused me. Then I got better and by the 12th day we went on a great camping/kayaking trip. It was so fun.

My dh and I were surprised that this final treatment is pretty uneventful. Nothing like the 5th. So this morning while putting on some makeup I realized something really special. I may never, ever have to feel like this again, NEVER. No more getting to the third week and having to start over again. It made me cry. I cannot wait to see how week 4 feels, not having to start over again at end of a week 3. I feel like a kid waiting for Santa Claus.

I am all set to see the radiologist. My oncologist said I could not have picked a finer radiologist, let alone physician. She came highly recommeded by others in healthcare too. Onc said he was so pleased that I tollerated the maximum dosage recommended for chemo. He just got back from a seminar and the treatment plan I am on is still the most effective in medicine today, for my situation. I know they say radiology can make you tired but I will take that any day. Way better than sick, puky, bland tasting. Way better.

So I am set to have my chest port taken out on Friday. My dh says he takes these things out, well the kind kidney patients have, and mine is no big deal. He really wants this out right away, he says less junk in you the better. Then I have updated mammograms, get tatooed for the radiology, then get zapped for 8weeks.

Luckily we have a huge vacation planned between now and all these other things. Yosemite area adventures here we come. There is an old ghost town, Bode, that is really cool. Paddling on Mono Lake, 4x4 rock crawling in the high mountains on the trails where if you come across another driver you have to try to pass each other carefully, the falls in Yosemite, Heck- I want to see sunset in Yosemite. Just being out of the house for our other short camping trip was amazing. Just sitting under the trees with my pup at my side, sleeping in the mountain air.... I won't be able to bike or hike really but just being with my kids and dh (and pup) is all I could ever ask for. 10 days of outside, nature and family

I know I still have a ways to go but this has just given me such a perspective on things. I am setting goals, almost a bucket list, of things I need to do. And to do them with my dh and kids will give us all memories to cherish for as long as I am blessed to be here. I look forward to this just being an event in my life, not the focus of my life as it is now.

What is really funny is that I am so tired of all this that I almost don't care anymore. I got a cute scarf with bangs because it is like 102 today. I am so done with this that I find myself tempted to just go outside with nothing on top- of head. Cause I just don't care anymore. But them I stick on the scarf or wig because I really still want everyone to just see me and not the cancer. Even when my sis was here I would not go topless. I told her that only my kids and dh get the memory of me like this, no one else. She told me that the whole time we visited it was like nothing was wrong. She said she was really proud of me and knew I would be like this. It is just how I am. I don't ever want it to be the "remember when you did not have hair" kind of future for me and her. It is really important for me to be strong for myself.

So, there you go. I am doing great. I am still me. I just have this stupid condition that will go away soon. I will check on it to make sure it stays away, but it is not the center of my universe. I have my dh, my kids and my life to live.

Thanks for always asking how I am.

Comments (26)

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    You rock!
    And you deserve this good news --

    Have a fabulous, wonderful, relaxing vacation and enjoy this precious time with your family. And always bear in mind how precious this time is -- and that it can STAY this precious from now on if you can keep your mindset positive and remember to smell those roses.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    AWESOME!!! Have a great camping trip!

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    What a milestone, Shannon! I'm sure you and your family will have a fantastic vacation--together!

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    This is such great news, Shannon. Keep it up!

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Shannon you are an amazing person. Enjoy your vacation with your family. Before you know it, this will all be behind you.

    And here's a little tip about the radiation: use lanolin. My friend said after several radiation treatments it felt like she had a real bad sunburn, the only thing that helped her was the lanolin.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Your spirit shows through your writing style, it's the same as before- an encouraging sign. Keep it up, you as so on the right track.
    Have fun on your trip and do keep us posted.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Have a wonderful trip with your family - enjoy every moment and celebrate the end of your chemo.

    My friend who had BC 7 years ago said the radiation wasn't nearly as bad as the chemo, but she did it just as an extra precaution. She sailed through it and has been cancer free almost 8 years!

    You're almost done, in the fall you'll be back to your normal self!

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Wow! Good for you and the positive energy you radiate - pun intended.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Bless you, Shannon. I'm so glad to know you're feeling better and ready to 'kick butt' out in the world ;o)

    (((Nora)))

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Shannon,
    So happy to hear things are progressing better than expect. Keep up the good work.
    Jean

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    That's wonderful! Keep looking ahead and being positive. I love and am amazed by your enthusiasm. :)

    Have a great time with your family on vacation!

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Shannon; when hub had treatment, his chemo & radiation were on the same day. He had 3 chemo's (supposed to be 100 of cisplatin - had 100, then 75 & 75). The chemo was done at certain times during radiation. From what we were told, radiation makes the chemo work better.

    You say you're getting "zapped" for 8 weeks. Hub had 33 radiation treatments, they were 2 gray from what I know. With radiation, from what I understand, you still "cook" for a few weeks after it's done. That would be the question I would ask my radiation oncologist.

    I don't know how you manage to stay so positive; but so did my dad. Please try to keep staying positive. If you need a good message board to vent; email me.

    ~Hugs

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Shannon,

    You are so upbeat and positive and set a great example for all of us to follow - be grateful for our blessings and live life one day at a time. You inspire me.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Shannon, have a wonderful trip. Will be sending all good thoughts and energy your way.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Have a wonderful trip with your family and puppy too! Sounds like fun!

  • 16 years ago

    You are such a strong and amazing person!! Your radiation treatments will be just a small bump in the road to a full recovery. Stay focused; think positive thoughts; all will be fine.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Congratulations! We celebrated my aunt's last treatment, you have an awesome way to celebrate yours! Just wear a hat (don't want a sunburned scalp). As far as radiation, I remember she said she got like a sunburn but I don't know what she used on it - lanolin may work or try aloe?

    Is it going to be a cute tattoo ;-)?

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    That is great news, but then, given your attitude, it's not surprising; A cheerful heart is good medicine...
    Proverbs 17:22

    Have a wonderful, memorable vacation.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    My dh and I had a chat tonight about what the future holds. I am not looking for answers as I know there are none, just looking at what to expect. I take this med for 5 yrs. I am just wanting to know what happens after that, etc. I know there is nothing concrete, everyone is different, I just am curious what CAN and what MAY NOT happen.

    He got this really sad look on his face and he said he would tell me the same thing he tells his dialysis patients when faced with telling them they have a 25% chance of not making it another year. He said, "Just remember... eat dessert first. That is all I can say."

    He was headed to bed so I told him goodnight and said I would come up later.... after I EAT DESSERT FIRST. He smiled and laughed.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    What an uplifting post to read. I am so very happy for you! Only good things coming your way these days!

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Shannon, you have written a memorable post, filled with such spirit and toughness! Have a wonderful trip to beautiful Yosemite with your family.

    Wishing you the easiest time possible through the radiation treatments. You are a winner!

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I just love your attitude and what a really strong woman you seem to be, keep it up. You are going to be just FINE!!
    Many blessings to you and your family, make your trip be one to remember.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    shannon, I don't know what your diagnosis was...I just stumbled here while sitting waiting for someone to come and pick up something.
    But...11 1/2 years ago Iw as diagnosed with breast cancer that had spread to 2 of the nodes. I had 8 rounds of chemo, 3 weeks apart. The first 4 were adriamycin and cytoxin, the last 4 were paclataxol. Then a month and 32 radiation treatments at 5 a week.
    Frankly the radiation was worse on me than the chemo...I just got more and more tired and it took about 2 months to get any energy back. But there is no burn....they aim the rays to the spot and that's not the skin.
    But that was 11 and 1/2 years ago!!!!!
    You'll be fine....you wouldn't dare to be other wise....just get through it!...and the Tamoxofin for 5 years is no biggie at all....
    Linda C

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Linda, you made me cry. Thank you so much, I really needed that. There are several here that have boosted me with their stories. My lump was a 1.2cm but the grade was worst. They took the 3nodes but they were clusted. One had 3 and in one of those they found bad cells. Since clustered they think it was a first node and possibly got bad cells in there from leaking out during my procedures. I had 6 treatments, 3wks apart. I got all three of your same meds in each treatment. We anticipate 8wks of rad, 5times a week. Tamoxofin will start after my trip, just in case there is any nausea in the beginning. And yes, the rad is just the spot, so I feel pretty ok with that. Even if I get a little burn, which I doubt, it will be hidden by clothing.

    Everyone...
    I had port removed Friday. I was nervous about just using a local. Nurses and doc noticed my concern and offered sedation but I stayed strong. Doc said because of port he could still give me something if he begins procedure and I freak. So he gives me the injection of lidocaine, it burns a smidge and then nothing. It was fine. It was weird seeing him cut me open but it felt like he put a thick piece of rubber on me and was cutting that instead. It was wierd. I felt nothing but the tug when they pulled the port out. I asked if I could have it to show my kids, then run over it with my car. They laughed and said they get that request all of the time. My port is a really pretty shade of purple and is about the size of a nickel. It is titanium so they said it would be hard to smash. It has a place on edge where I could actually hook a keychain to ring to make a necklace. I think I might make it into a keychain. Seems fitting in an odd way to me.

    I have a nice little incision where they put it in. Doc who put it in took it out also. He was pleased with how the first healed up and anticipates the new one will heal just as nicely. I must say that this is such a weight off my chest- literally, that thing was heavy. I feel a little more normal each day knowing I don't have this think sticking out of me.

    I have wondered what my role will be after all this. Because of my determination to "just be me" through all of this I think I want to be a role model for others. I already got a shot at it when leaving the operating room.

    I was left to dress and one nurse had not left yet. I told her that I have shown my breast to more folk in last year than my lifetime so one more was no big deal. Somehow our conversation changed and she told me that she was having a biopsy next week on 4 differents spots. She too was 44. She said she liked my attitude and she also was planning to work that day up until the appointment. I told her that I got my diagonosis and actually went back to work to have a pizza party with my coworkers. She was amazed that I did that. She said she had appt set for Friday because she did not know how she would feel afterwards. I told her that I went back to work that day also, again with no one knowing what I did. She said that after talking to me she felt so much better. She agreed that we cannot change things, they are what they are and we just have to deal with it and move on. I think our chat really helped both of us.

    As I mentioned before, there are several of us on this board that have survived just fine. We have been chatting for a few years here and until I posted my situation and got feedback I never knew how many of us have had to go through this. It was so uplifting to me to already "know" the gals from all our decorating and chatting, and then to see them come out and show their support. I really got the impression that like me they may have HAD BC but it does not have them. It does not define them. Truly inspiring to me.

    So thanks to everyone who has said, or though, kinds things. And to the gals who have come out to share their experiences, just know that you are a huge part of why I am how I am. Just as you inspire me I hope to inspire others.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Glad to hear you're doing well Shannon.

    You will have a few more rads then hub; not sure if you will have the same strength. He had a red neck; it did scab in some places, mostly by his surgery scar which was not even 2 months out of surgery. They have a cream called SSD cream that has an antibiotic. If you have pain, they may give you a patch; hub couldn't wear it longer then 3 hours; his choice was Actiq pops. He said that it was the best for radiation pain.

    Having said that, my MIL has BC - IDC. They took nodes from her. She was diagnosed 2/07 & has done well. She's on the Tamoxofin. I don't know if she had radiation burn. I know at one time she was doing 2 rads per day. At Jefferson there were a few BC patients (well more then a few, but only a few talked) that said they have some sort of patch that they put in the fridge/freezer for radiation burns. It seems everyone is different, I guess due to the amount of C in their body.

    Have you thought about a blog?

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    What a strong woman you are, Shannon, and such a great example for us all! Please keep us posted on your progress. We're all here rooting for you and sending good thoughts and prayers your way.
    Lynn

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