Although my remodel is not as big as your project, I can completely relate. I have posted twice about my current kitchen and the plans I have for it. I can't seem to make that last step. The financial part is hovering over me. We have the finances available, I cannot however let go. Realistically, should we plan to move (we have tossed this around for years) the kitchen will only increase the value of our home....I don't doubt that at all, after I saw the photos in my posts I realized that.

So think positively about jumping off that cliff, once you see progress you will know you made the right choice. Just keep an eye on those strangers to be sure they are following the plans!

Good luck to you. This too shall pass.

Thankfully everything isn't happening in one day! My husband loves to remind me how to eat an elephant...one bite at a time!

Ask the architect about "errors and omissions". She or the contract must have it covered somewhere. Maybe once she hears your concern and seriousness regarding her inattention to details, she'll straighten up.

Wise people worry, it shows concern and diligence. You are in good company!!

One thing--rethink all passageways and door swings and such. I was surprised about a number of door swing errors in our plan. Designer apparently assumes that we open doors in a certain sequence, which we don't. When they're simultanouely open, the doors would have smacked together. Do same checking for open cabs, etc.

Continue to walk through the plan in your mind--It's summer and the food is going outside, it's a party and there are extra people going here and there, it's night and you want to shut down the kitchen and relax in another room, you've just returned from grocery with bags and bags of groceries and supplies, it's garbage day and you need to get all waste out to the curb, it's holiday baking time, you are decorating other rooms so you're arranging large awkward branches and flowers, etc. etc.

Funny, I literally JUST said to Hubby, "I want to order the cabinets, but I'm scared I've missed something." We place so much pressure on ourselves and our kitchens to be perfect. If it doesn't met our expectations . . . well I don't know what would happen. The world would not end, but it might seem that way for a while. I too know that my kitchen will be a million times better after our remodel. I just don't want to make a mistake and hold up progress. It's hard.

Lyvia, my advice is to be very very sure you do have a feeling of TRUST in your contractor. There will, not may but will, be problems and mistakes and worries during the remodel. That's just life. But don't let the time-is sweeping-away feeling take over without giving yourself that opportunity to be confident that the person you are bringing into your home to do these huge changes is going to do the right thing by you.

I think that is the best and most important lesson I learned from my own kitchen remodel. I talked to several people before I found Bob the contractor. I was wary but I also had a sense early on that he was an honest person with integrity. And throughout the entire process he didn't let me down.

I'd also sense that part of your nervousness is because right now there is a tremendous uncertainty in other parts of your life, due to illness. We are all creatures of habit who love our routine. That sense of comfort in familiarity is being torn away from you in more than one direction-and that is scary. But if you know where the fear originates you may be able to feel less intimidated by it.

Good luck!

No matter how much you plan there will be fires to put out most days during the remodel. We just finished week four with about two to go and it seems like most days I am buying something new. Light bulbs one day, door handles. Hinges, Storage trays , different exhaust fan, Cabinet pulls etc ..
Each morning we greet our contractor with please adjust this or can we make this small change. It's all part of the process. Our biggest challenge is what to buy for dinner at Costco or Trader Joe's ...Relax and enjoy

thanks for posting this, i could have written it myself and have posted similar messages previously!

my project is not huge, just the kitchen but it is costly and in a down housing market and poor economy it is scary to commit this money. i have been dragging my feet about signing off on the cabinet order, now aiming to complete by 1/31. have pushed back the GC into early spring as a result. thankfully he seems understanding as they have more work coming in. thanks again for posting, glad to know i am not the only one!

I agree with Runninginplace about being sure about the trust for your contractor. My contractor earned his fees time and again through his competence and professionalism. Even with the couple of situations of me being the lunatic hausfrau who just wanted things my way, he found solutions. When yelling had a hope of fixing a problem, he was able to yell. When charm could help, he charmed. What he didn't do, ever, was dwell on unsolvable problems. When the factory started making some of the floor tile on the outside day it was supposed to be here, he worked on getting it shipped as fast as possible and talking to everyone he could professionally and reasonably--which I was way beyond too freaked out about to even think of doing.

If you don't feel that insulated and cared for by your contractor, I strongly advise you not to sign before you are healed enough from your surgery to really feel well and sure of what you're doing. The signatures aren't the end point--they're the point where chaos gets a toehold to raining down on your head. You need to lessen the stress and start healing. Tell the bank that they need to give you an extension on their date with the same terms. They can. They can do anything they want. You just have to insist. If you're happy enough with your GC, put him on hold and tell him you're prepared to go forward--as soon as you're mostly healed.

You say, This feeling of wanting to relax and let the GC handle everything is probably like wanting to sleep when you are freezing to death. That's because your GC's representative, the architect, is making mistakes and it's up to you to find them and get them fixed. How are you going to know that you're not going to have to be in the same position with the GC? Those lunatic hausfrau moments I mentioned? Those were where the guys were just doing things they way they do, but in a way that I totally didn't anticipate and didn't like. There were also times where things were just overlooked, poorly planned, or whatever, that I had to discuss with the GC. He always had a solution, but to get things just the way you want, you have to be on top of it and involved. That's with the very best. I really was able to relax knowing my GC and his foremen were on the job. It was more like being cradled in warmth than giving into the freeze. But how are you to assess that when you're days away from getting punched in the face, hard? Getting your nose broken and your eyes blackened? It'll be worth it when you breathe better, but you're going to need peace and rest to heal up, and the first couple of weeks aren't going to be fun. I wish you the very best of outcomes and a speedy recovery, but be aware that you're not going to even want to bend over in the beginning, and you won't be sleeping well until after the healing happens and the swelling goes away. When picking up a sock is stressful, why invite all of this worry over the remodel into your healing space? Just put it off for a few weeks and let yourself rest. It'll be worth it.

You guys are the best. I feel better already.

I do trust my GC, as much as I would ever trust a GC. He has done 4 houses on my street and 26 in my neighborhood, and the neighbors all love him. His CEO is on the board of the bank, so the bank won't let him run off the job, which is a major worry after watching too much Holmes. And one time when he came over, my kid was upset about a baby bird, and he just jumped right in and fixed the problem. He does help me relax.

As does the idea of an errors and omissions clause - thanks so much! I am so glad to learn about that before the contract! That takes care of a lot of the dreaded unforeseen.

So I think I can send off this round of tweaks and start demanding this errors and omissions clause (as well as the with hold final payment clause) and then take off two or three weeks. I'm ahead of the selection game (more famous last words! wait till you see what I dream up under anesthesia!)

So as long as you all promise to forgive whatever I post under percocet, I should be fine. Thanks again for the reassurance, I needed that.

I confess...as I skimmed the title of this message, I thought you were asking about radiant heat in the kitchen floors....

I had a knot in the pit of my stomach as I placed my cab order. No one has ever revisited their layout and cab choices more than I did, yet I still made one last minute change I had not contemplated prior. It was freaky, like someone else was using my voice.... It was scary yet exhilarating.
We are now halfway through our remodel and I am still stunned that so much of our house is an empty shell (although a spackled one now, lol). We are about to get a bunch of things installed next week, so the progress will pick up again. There are lulls in the work just as there are some chaotic days. We bought more things after demo than we imagined, even though we had already bought so much and made our lists.
Not everything needs to be set in stone on day 1. I am still working on an idea or 2 and yet we are approx 3 weeks from completion.
Like you said, only an insane person would be totally calm. There are bound to be jitters and anxiety. It is a good time to learn about alcohol (sangria has gotten us through a time or 2, lol). We are stuck in our bsmt with our 2 kids and no kitchen for week 7 now (over Xmas and through many snow days). If we can survive it, anyone can.

lyvia-someone once said, Full speed ahead and damn the torpedoes! That's what you have to do now. Have confidence in what you have decided to do! Remember, you never go thru life unscathed, and you'll not get thru this unscathed. Hopefully the issues will be minimal. One other thing, even if it isn't right the first time, there is nothing that can't be fixed! The measure of a good carpenter is not whether he makes a mistake or not, but rather if he can fix his mistakes!
Good luck!

My 80 year old red hatter friend just has her kitchen addition remodelled. Ofcourse she trusted her builder. But she went on vacation twice, once to Arizona and then to Florida. She seemed so happy and it was just fine. It was great. That is my dream of doing the project ( I am younger but still a senior citizen). This is my objective to get the job done. Hope I am on the right track. Life is too short and I Must have though of everything or mostly in the last 2 years of planning. If I leave something out not one will notice. Thanks for listening.

Just to follow up - the surgery was a resounding success. Some people wait a month to feel results, I saw breathing/sleeping improvement in four days. It's marvelous. I feel creative again instead of constantly sluggish. I have to catch up at work before I can catch up on the remodel project, but that's okay. Now I feel confident I will get to it, rather than overwhelmed. The only downside is my parents came, so the house elves cleaned up my papers :(