Well...my current strategy is to have samples hung on the wall for weeks and periodically ask, so what do you think about this one? And then ramble about the pros and cons a bit until he says, "Whatever! I don't care." just to get me to shut up. He wanted yellow, so I hung up yellow colors, then asked about each option, getting more and more muted until the color was more of a golden beige...and he got so sick of hearing about it, he went back to "whatever" (does this make me a bad wife? I hope not).

First you'd have to pick me up off the floor where I fainted with the shock of DH expressing an opinion.. . . . and then I'd be hoping there was some middle ground between chucking everything to start over and telling DH to shove it!

I don't think I would go shopping Or tell him to shove it, I might ask him why he likes the Tate Olive, he might have a reason. The Tate olive reads like a dark khaki on my monitor, not green.

And I, too, spent weeks buying sample paints and trying to pick a beige that went with carpet, wasn't too dark, wasn't too yellow...and then he wanted bright yellow. Good grief!!

I say try to aim for a look you can both be happy with (dark enough to feel cozy for him, but light enough for you), and hopefully he'll enjoy the finished result rather than getting hung up on one detail like a specific wall color.

Jessica, you are too funny. I'm sure even your hubby would think so if he knew what you were doing. Heck he might know what you are doing.

As for we and our house we tend to want to make each other happy and come to a happy medium in most rooms. My dear hubby is the main breadwinner in our family. I have a couple very small new businesses so I rarely bring in money. The economy is hurting me. That said we agreed that hubby gets final say in the Gentleman's Parlor, I get final say in the Ladies Parlor and I get to guide him in the Library which is his home office and decorated in Green Bay Packer collectibles and colors. I happen to like the Packers so I'm fine with that, but the room design/furnishings have pretty much been my decision.

So no I would never tell my dear hubby to shove it. My guess is you're pretty frustrated right now and you really wouldn't do that either. That being said why not take a picture of the room getting in as much of it as you can, post a picture for those of us that like to play with color on walls. You can show these virtuals to him and see what he thinks.

he lives in the house too, so he's 50% of the opinions and if he rarely expresses one, you should milk it for what it's worth.

Learn to embrace a cozy dark room. They are often the most loved in a home...cozy, rich, dramatic, all are words used to describe well done deep toned rooms. I'd find your DH's words inspiring and I'd use them to take me on a decorating bend I hadn't embraced before! Rich oaks and mahoganys, a deep green wall...velvet draperies, lux and fabulous, and man happy all at once...priceless :)

I can sympathize with you. My husband has never been interested in decorating until the past two years and he shocks me by actually having opinions. His suggestions weren't working for me so I included him by only showing him rooms on line that had the colors I wanted so, by the time we hit SW, he gravitated to them lol. We've done over 3 rooms this way and he thinks he picked certain things (not) I just lead him to them. We're talking about doing the bath now and I've given him 3 ideas, all that I like, and he can choose what he likes. It's working for us!

It is funny, but I ask my dh for his opinion all the time about house stuff and he usually says he does not care or whatever I pick will be fine. 99 times out of 100, I ask and get one of those answers. One the 1 time I don't, I will pick without discussing and it is invariably wrong.
I chose the "wrong" faucet placement on our new vanity top the other day, according to him, and it took 2 days for him to concede to try it out and that we can get a new top if he hates it down the road. Luckily (?), the remodel has drained our bank accounts, so we can't just pay for a new one yet. I like the off center placement (vessel sink) and think he will come around on it.
Usually, if he does chime in with a request, I do my best to accommodate because it is so rare and I pick out everything else. Maybe you can get him one shade down and then accessorize with lighter colors and good lighting.

This is a tough one... Does he understand the paint doesn't go with your furniture and what it will cost to redecorate? Can you afford to redecorate? If so, if you had a room that you agreed *you* could style, would he also be ok with the cost to totally redecorate it because of the paint color you wanted, or would he say "No way, find a paint color that goes with what we have."? I guess what I'm trying to find out is if what's good for the goose is good for the gander too :-)

We collaborate, paint huge rectangles on the walls, and usually can agree, although there are two rooms we painted and I still think we got the color wrong. I'm planning to repaint the kitchen myself while he's at work. I bet it will take him a day or more to even notice. I have an at-home business, so I have time to ruminate on these things and get in trouble! I once had the windows in our LR made larger when he was on a 3-day business trip. He loved it.

Once upon a time, newly married I attempted to decorate a family room he had just built in an unfinished basement. After much asking I decided to move ahead and just did what I thought would work. I played it safe and when with greens, a color I knew he liked. He had said no to too many swatches to count. I started sewing, curtains, pillows slip covers. When it was complete he was very satisfied. Mine can't visualize, after 22 years I have learned to ask for compliments AFTER it is done. We have yet to have a room he didn't like.

I am very lucky. My Hubby is a draftsman with professional reno experience AND an "inner queer guy". He loves to decorate and watch HGTV. He's better at this stuff than I am. Since I cannot advise you from either the perspective of good decorating advise nor experience with disagreeing with my own husband about decore, I'll back up and make this not a decorating question.

I'll make this a marriage question. My first marriage failed, so I'm an expert on how not to be married.

Do not make any decision that you don't both agree on. If you cannot agree, you cannot move forward. Period. Why? Because marriages have been seriously damage over what *seem* to be even smaller issues than the one you present. Your marriage is more important than paint or carpets.

Try to negotiate -- as a loving giver -- for the purpose of coming to an agreement. Don't do anything until you both agree.

...Pam

Here is a link that might be useful: The Policy of Joint Agreement - Marriage Builders

If he feels strongly I would try to incorporate his ideas. Get a pint or 2 of some dark greens and try them out in the room. If he loves them then tell him in order to go with that color x will need to be changed and will cost y dollars. If we stay with one of the colors I picked we won't need to change them. Maybe if he realizes it will cost much more money he won't want his color. On the other hand if it means that much to him them and he's willing to pay for the other changes than go with it.

You may grow to like the green. We painted our sitting room 2 colors - soft pumpkin and cramy orange to pick up the colors in the marble fire place. (It took 8 other colors before this and nothing was working) I hate the color orange. I would have never picked those colors but 2 friends helped me with it. We get so many compliments on the colors - people love it. It's growing on me and once we have things on the wall it will tone it down a bit more.

I've trained my DH well. I will have 6 to 8 samples on the walls and ask him which one he likes. He will pick out one and then ask me - "Did I pick the right one?" A lot of the times I've already picked out the one I like but want his confirmation.

So I can kind of see his point. In a north facing room, the light is a bit colder. Is he looking at that Tate Olive and the dark furniture to warm it up, perhaps? I think that men like darker more than women do.

What color did you come up w? I think camel colored beiges, or even a bit darker, like a gold might be actually nice. Something that when the light does hit the walls, it glows.

Is this the room he considers his man cave? If it is and you have another living room in the house, I would work harder to compromise with him. If it's the only room, I would just say "Trust me. I know what I'm doing." LOL

My DH usually leaves those decisions to me. When I ask him, his usual answer is "whatever you want".

On Mbath remodel a couple years ago, I kept asking him questions and going on about it will cost this much to do this tile or that. He got so agrevated that he told me-if I keep bugging him we weren't going to do the remodel. So I left to buy tile and countertop($1500 double sink in zodiaq-he didn't see that one coming and didn't believe my son-who was with me-when he asked how much I spent) The expected cost on the remodel was $3500-$5000 endup spending $10k.(to which he could say nothing because he told me to pick what I wanted-labor $ was 4k(tile walls, shower and floor) He groused about the cost of the heated floor until he walked on it(remodel in February) When it was all said and done he loved it!
Moral of this story-If I ask your opinion on costs don't get pissy with me before I go shopping or I really will spend whatever I want!:)

He is offering his opinions on the new construction and I am trying to closely match his ideas with what will work(look good)with everything else. Though he still isn't happy on NO CARPET anywhere in the house(all wood and tile). I offered him area rugs.(two kids and two dogs-you can switch out a ruined rug way easier than wall to wall carpet)I lived and cleaned white carpet for 9 years.(killed 3 carpet cleaners) Carpet is disgusting. (may look clean but traps everything) He finally saw the light after we gave up on selling our house. We put down natural walnut through the whole downstairs.(Then original buyers sold their house 3 months later!) So now we are building.
Some men can't "see" what it will look like until it's finished. You may have to show him pics and guide him to a suitable compremise.
It needs to be at least 75/25 if not 50/50 on decision making. He gets the 25%.

Good luck!

My advise is...yes, it's part his house too, so try to find some common ground and choose something you both like. Maybe give hime a green accent wall and window treatments.

I agree with igloochic 100%. Also, I looked up Tate Olive -- it seems to be fairly neutral, not very green at all. Are you sure your stuff wouldn't work with it?

What do you use that room for, and at what time of day (or night)? To use igloochic's words, a room you use all or mostly at night works very well if it's a "cozy dark room."

We have a long LR, low ceilings with beams, fireplace at each end, some windows face north. The former owner did the walls in a pale cream, and I just don't think the color works. There's no getting around the fact that the room is dark, and IMO the light color merely emphasizes that fact. Anyway, our sofa is a dark tobacco color, chairs are gold, we have a dark red lacquered chest, oriental carpet with reds, greys, camel or tan, dark blue and orange, the art has rich colors in it....

the reason we haven't been able to come up with a color is that we've focused on paler neutrals. Our stuff looks like it's unmoored and floating around. So the new plan is to look for deeper colors, maybe a somewhat paler color than the sofa, but dark nonetheless. We use this room at night, and I think the end result will be warm and rich.

To answer your question BTW, we both have opinions, and we've both come up with some interesting decorating and design ideas. Like many men, he doesn't seem to see color nuances, but he is a genius when it comes to things like arranging art on the walls.

Sometimes I've found that while my DH may love a color (or hate a color) he doesn't always have the vision to see it in it's finished used. A good example of this is I wanted to paint a cabinet black and he thought it was the biggest mistake, hated the idea entirely but I did it anyways and in the end it was his favorite element in the room.

I sort of think this may be where your DH is because of your comment about him thinking with darker colors the room will fill cozy. Dark colors don't necessarily translate to cozy so I'd try to persuade him to give your colors a try, make the room cozy with the lighter color you like and with any luck you'll both get what you want out of the room.

groovia -- your last sentence made me LOL. It really depends on your marriage and how well you two cooperate on this topic! :) My husband generally doesn't want me asking for his design opinion because he often doesn't care. I want his input, but I think deep down I just want him to agree with my idea (oops.) My bratty side looks at it this way: He is not the one who loves spending hours looking through design magazines, gazing at furniture store web sites, reading thru forums, etc. I enjoy it. It really makes me happy if a space feels right, and I love the process. It would be easy to tell him to shove it. I might have at one point, although I hope not. :)

What I know to be true is that he needs to enjoy the space too. It needs to feel like home to him.... so, I find that I need to present the pros and cons of each choice and then give him time to think it over. I will use ideas that are especially important to him (eg, he wants a couch and not two chairs,) and he typically warms up to my ideas too (eg, that couch should be leather.) :)

Oh, I can embrace the dark green, but I'm going to need to go shopping. BM Tate Olive is really dark, actually. LRV of 19. He said he *might* be able to live with Wethersfield Moss (LRV 24). How nice of him.

No, this is not a man-cave. This is our tv room and a main space in the house. It's a small room, though. I told him I would put my pint of Tate Olive on one of the small walls so we could live with it for a week. He didn't like that idea, but he'll have to deal. I'm the one who is painting. By myself. While 6 months pregnant.

So, I guess I'll have fun looking for some landscape artwork to try and get some green in this room. I think he was struck by how nicely the DR turned out, which is Louisburg Green. Completely my idea.

It's baffling to me that he has an opinion, because on an ordinary day, he is color blind. But for some reason, he has noticed that BM Dry Sage is lighter than the other greens he has seen and has commented that it appears to be grayer than the others. And I'd been hoping to trick him with some Baby Turtle, but nope, he's not falling for it.

Whatever. I will accommodate his choice of wall color because he will put up whatever trimwork I tell him to. But it's also up to me to figure out the nuances of the dark greens to figure out when it's too dark, or when it's dark enough to suit him, but not to be oppressive.

What is you did the Olive Green but only at 50%? Maybe having the lighter version of it would help?

I hope you are using no VOC paint since you are pregnant.
And is he really colorblind or do you mean he just doesn't notice?

" He didn't like that idea, but he'll have to deal. I'm the one who is painting. By myself. While 6 months pregnant. "

Groovia - Since you're pregnant why don't you make him this deal: He can have the room whatever paint color he wants if he gives birth to the baby for you! Just kidding :-) Sort of ;-) And congratulations, by the way! Not to go to your other thread here, but I was just looking at Jonathan Adler's site and I think as reward for color compromise you should put these sconces in your nursery:

Here is a link that might be useful: Adorable Giraffe Sconce

I think he's nesting. Seriously. Congratulations and do take care w/ the choice of paint. And, please, no scraping old paint, if there is any, while you're pregnant. Very important for the health of your wee one. I'm sure you've heard that a lot.

Bostonpam, your DH sounds like a dear! I love the "Did I pick the right one?" question.

Yowza! Did you SEE how much for those sconces?? They're adorable and everything, but yikes! I'm a craigslist/Home Goods kinda girl.

Not to worry, I am paying attention to VOC. I painted my boys' ceiling with SW Harmony, and that was awful. Like painting with water. I did their walls in Aura and now I have some BM Natura for the baby's room. Never used it before, so I hope it's better than that Harmony crap.

justgotabme- He's not truly color blind, but he doesn't see the nuances of colors. Green is green, brown is brown, even if it's a golden tan, it's still brown to him, which is ironic because he's German and a programmer, so *highly* detail oriented.

{{!gwi}}

Call your husband over to the computer and ask him if he can see the number in the box...At least the 1st number.

(And thx graywings )

groovia - I think your husband and mine are a lot alike! Your plan to live with it on one wall sounds like an awesome compromise to me. And don't forget that you don't have to change your whole room over to green. Thankfully, many greens work like neutrals, and you may not need much in the way of accents to get things to coordinate. And if you do end up changing more...maybe it was time and you'll both be happy with the change?

From what I hear about Aura, it's out of this world. Do take time to talk to the Ben Moore folks about how to apply it, though; there's a bit of a learning curve.

Me too, Groovia! I just like to *look* at the expensive stuff and then see if I can find it cheaper or make it myself :-)

Has anyone seen any dark green olive panels in extendend lengths recently? Anything but grommet or tab top. That would help me pinpoint the wall color a little better.

My hubby has a lot of opinions and it's so frustrating. He cannot visualize things, and has strong opinions on whether or not he likes things, but can't really explain why he doesn't like them. I never do anything without his consent because he is so very picky, there's a really good chance he won't like it.

One time I brought home these wall hangings (along with some other stuff) from BBB and laid it all out and asked him if he liked them. He said they were "okay", which says to me that they are not his favorite, but he doesn't dislike them. So, he went through un-packaging them, putting the hanging hardware on them, and hanging them on the wall, and then two weeks later he tells me he hates them.

I said "Well, we can't take them back now, so you're stuck with it." LOL He has lived them with for over a year, and now that we're moving into a new house, he says they are not allowed to come with us.

I am using Aura to paint my walls currently and there is no learning curve. I heard that when it first came out it was different, but they reformulated it and it works like a dream. It costs more, but skipping the primer (and not paying for primer) helps even that out. I have so many walls to do in the reno that saving one step is huge (despite being broke, lol). The coverage is unbelievable.

I also like the coverage of Aura, but I'm too slow with the drips and I tend to load my roller too heavy. So by the time I have noticed a drip, the paint is dry and then the wall needs to be sanded smooth and repainted. I'm looking forward to using some non-Aura today, (using BM Natura) just to see how it measures up.

My advice is on 3 levels. I'm married to a really nice guy who is also an artist. His ideas are always nearly spot on. He wouldn't tell me no to anything he didn't feel wouldn't be a serious consequence. So I can't relate there.

I can relate as someone who has worked with handicapped children. My advice is to wait about 9 months to paint anything. Why? Mothers of handicapped children blame themselves. I've heard some crazy ideas on how they came to think anything that went wrong with the baby was their fault. Chances are your baby will not have issues. If you expose yourself to paint fumes,moving furniture that sort of thing, and something IS wrong, Dollars to donuts it will make you wonder if you damaged your child,even if it had NOTHING to do with it.
Hormones affect people's judgment. The big change of having a baby changes affects people's judgment, this includes the entire family dynamics. A few months after the baby is born I'll bet you and yours see this in an entirely different frame of mind. Or be too tired to care! LOL!
I'm guessing here so excuse me if I am presumptive.
MAYBE it's not the color your husband isn't happy about. Maybe he's trying either consciously or subconsciously to stall the painting process to protect your and the baby.
Men are our protectors. My DH would've been very upset with me had I tried to do any home improvement while pregnant with our son. He'd have fussed and worried the entire time.

I agree with Pjtexgirl, don't do any painting while you are pregnant. If your DH wants olive green, let him paint while you go out with your friends for the day, lol.

I can't comment on whether to tell your DH to shove it, but I just know that I could never live with a dark olive green room. I would become so depressed, I wouldn't be able to greet him when he came in the door, or cook a nice meal, or anything else, :).

Once I had explained that to my DH, he would be so concerned he would insist on painting a nice light cheerful light reflective color, like the yellow we are about to paint our LR in.

As the saying goes; happy wife, happy life.

As far as painting while pregnant, I had the more home renno energy pregnant than in my entire life. Practically everything around the house got done while I was pregnant. I did lots of painting while pregnant--I wore a face mask and all was good! Everyone kept telling me to stop, ect, but my level of energy couldnt be stopped!

good luck!

Painting while pregnant -- it's the nesting instinct. If you were a dog, you'd be tearing up paper.

As for Tate Olive, I think it will make for a very cozy den. I have not exactly that color, but a similar one on my office walls. In fact, we've had it on our home office walls in whatever home we've had. So when DH was given the choice of any color in the world for his man cave, and after he looked at a zillion samples, he said that he wanted the color of the office walls.

I think that you'll find it will be a restful color. It is a neutral that goes with just about every color in the spectrum. Paint the ceiling a light color, add colorful pillows or throws. It'll be just fine.

Thanks for the concern, but yeah, I really need to paint. I think it is partly nesting, but I haven't had the energy to do it prior to this. We moved in 4 yrs ago with a 4month old, and then had 2 under 2 and am now about to have 3 under 5 yrs old. If I don't get it done now, it will be another 2 - 3 years before I'll get the energy again.

The house in general needs to be painted as the "white walls" are filthy and the whole house just looks dingy. Including ceilings. DH is not being protective, because he's hounding me about when I'm going to paint this and that. I just finished our DR a few weeks ago, and did the boys' ceiling and walls 2 weekends ago. I'm trying to muster up the energy to do the baby's room. I'd be much happier if I didn't have to do the ceilings, but they drive me CRAZY. Previous owners have touched up the ceiling using different colors and sheens of paint. I tried to convince DH that he needed to do the ceilings, using the excuse that I'm not supposed to be standing on ladders, but he just dug out the extension pole from the garage.