" I'm now looking at a mix of styles, and not worrying so much about whether individual pieces are traditional or modern, but just about whether I like them and whether they seem to work together... (Not sure the end result will actually be very different than I originally imagined, but I'll certainly feel more confident about my choices. ;-)) "

My Mother said much the same thing to me way back when I was doing my very first floor to ceiling redo- she told me to simply choose things that I loved and that the end result would be my style, not a copying of someone elses. I took that theory and ran with it and haven't yet been disappointed.

It is my own view that I am creating an environment where I am going to live and where my family can be comfortable. I am not putting together a magazine layout or decorating a period piece set in a movie- I am creating a home. I aim to do what works for my own unique set of circumstances and to please myself .
If it pleases other people- well great, but that has never been and will never be my goal.

I adore every room in my home!!

Ooohhh - great topic!

I always tried to recreate what I saw in a magazine spread, book, TV show - whatever but my life circumstances didn't always (ok - never) jived w/ that.

I have kids, minimal money and a love of anything handed down to me that is neat and has a familial history. That always meant doomsday w/ what I thought I wanted. So how to make it work?

Well firstly Magnaverde famously said something to the extent of 'Decorate for the way that you live, not the way that you want to live.' OK - works for me and that has always been a whisper in the back of my brain as I go along.

The deciding thing that anyone here has ever said to me to open my eyes totally came from a few folks: "You have great style - whatever you do will look great?".

I do? Really? It's not all just a mish mash of stuff and a dream?

So I started peeling myself away from all of the decorating magazines, TV shows, catalogs and yes - even GW for awhile. I sort of found my place and was then able to go back and view all of the things that once 'dictated' me and now can use them for a 'reference' instead of a decorating bible.

I am so much happier - and my house is shaping up to be one that reflects me and my family (I consult w/ the children on their rooms to get their feedback of needs and wants and do my best to incoporate theat).

And then because of Magnaverde's comment I don't waste money anymore on something that is not practical for a household w/ pets and children. We are all much happier!

I have to agree that Magneverde's rule changed the way I look at my leather furniture, and has influenced other choices when I'm lured by something pretty but impractical. I would love to have a wonderful velvet sofa, but with 2 cats, 2 shedding dogs, a husband who likes to eat snacks on the sofa, 2 beloved young GC, and a general disdain for worn and stained furniture, leather fits my lifestyle and looks good all the time. I often see others here to don't go with his rule and I think to myself, "You'll be soooory."
Dee

I really liked ALL the free & cheap CL finds people showed here on GW. Not mass produced or matchy match. They fixed them up or sewed them up and showed them off. Impressive! I found that I want personal involvement in my home. EYE OPENING!!!

Before I joined GW, I always had my own style and truly loved it. After many moves and different "type" of homes, furniture choices changed along with my losing interest in certain objects. I am a very impatient person and used to buy simply because I loved something, without thinking, "does it fit my lifestyle"?
All of a sudden, I was trying to make my home look like "Pottery Barn" or Restoration Hardware". Now, that's not to say that I have the means or finances to change alot, but if you ever saw my collection of curtains and throw pillows and knick-knacks...well, let's just say I was all over the place.
Then, my parent's both passed away within 4 months of each other. All of a sudden, ANYTHING that belonged to them became the most important thing to me, and I started decorating with my heart again. My house might not be for everyone, but then again, everyone does not live here! I do.
So, basically, I would have to say that I learned to surround yourself with the things that you love and hold special meaning to you.....whether or not they "go". Because, after all, when you come home at night, and you are surrounded by your precious family and your family's belongings, there is no where else on earth I would rather be.

I think Mari's quoting of William Morris (Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.) is the one thing that guides me more than any other.

I use Magnaverde's line about "decorating for the life you live" with clients a lot.

Charlikin, I think we are twins separated at birth, I really do! I keep thinking, with every house, that I will skew contemporary. But I do believe I have very traditional blood running in my veins because I always seem to surround myself with mostly traditional things. I just can't help it! So, I surrender...

I also think it is great, this observation about having a strong push-back reaction to some advice. I often tell people that even if they don't like a piece of advice, feeling the opposition helps them home in on what they do actually want.

It wasn't here so I don't know if this counts but-
Many years ago I was at a friends home with my newborn. She too had an infant, but also a 6 year old son. She was continually screaming at him "KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF THE WALLS!!!!". I swore right there that I would never have a home where my kids couldn't touch the walls, sit on the sofas, or touch things.

We paint alot :)

Thank you, everyone, for replying. That expression, "Decorate for the way that you live, not the way that you want to live." - that's BRILLIANT. It should be the opening quotation for this forum! I wish I had had that tattooed on my arm when I went carpet shopping. (Actually like the carpet I chose, but suspect it won't be practical for the long run... too light a color.)

Wait, I have to repeat it:

        Decorate for the way that you live, not the way that you want to live.

That settles it. The glass coffee table is definitely OUT. ;-)

Amy, LOL! It would not suprise me at all - we do seem to like a lot of the same things (and colors). Unfortunately, you got the color gene and I didn't. I do skew contemporary, but not *very* contemporary (i.e. C&B more than R&B, and definitely not BoConcepts!). You could never convince me I would want traditional - until jerseygirl challenged me on it! I'll tell ya, the reaction I had to her comment was a head-spinner for me!

It's good to have your head spin once in a while. ;-)

Homebodymom, my neighbor actually designated a wall in his apartment (in the foyer, no less!) where his daughter could write on the wall in crayon. When she got a little older, he painted it.

Homebody - my middle child is quite the creative artist!

After my first night working when DH had to tend all 3 children on his own and prepare dinner, etc. was so funny. I was met at the door by the oldest (5 then) who may as well have been shot out of a cannon:

"Mommy! DS2 crayoned on all of the walls in the hallway w/ green crayon. He just kept running up and down the hallway screaming and crayoning! Then he took all of the vents out of the floors downstairs and daddy fell in one!"

I left the green crayon there for awhile for a good laugh.

One day while I was moving a chair in the LR to clean behind it I found a little stick figure family on the wall w/ huge heads, eyes and smiles. It was done in black sharpie. I was almost fuming for a moment and then remembered that it's just paint. I knew exactly who'd done it. I swear sometimes I feel like Kevin's mom in Home Alone! Now I wish I could just cut away that section of the wall and frame it. Darn kid!

I am not at all creative or domestic so this board has help to "direct" me, but there are things that I love but know are not practical for us so I try to find things that speak to me. and usually when I am redoing a room i do have a vision and yet it always turns out different than I had thought it would. I used to obsess about paint and being on GW has taught me that it's only paint and can be redone so now I have much more confidence in the colors I choose.

" I'm now looking at a mix of styles, and not worrying so much about whether individual pieces are traditional or modern, but just about whether I like them and whether they seem to work together... (Not sure the end result will actually be very different than I originally imagined, but I'll certainly feel more confident about my choices. ;-)) "
* this *

I had decided to paint a primitive graphic design on my family room's kiva fireplace, but kept putting off the actual painting due "chickenitis" ;^D
Finally a friend, JanT, who pops in occasionally here on this forum, gave me some great advise that not only spurred me on, but gave me the nerve to really go for it and not wimp out and be too tentative with my design.

Her advice? "Good grief, Lynn, it's only paint! If you don't like it, you can always paint over it. So, have a glass of wine or two and start painting the darn thing!"

It was exactly the advice I needed to stop fretting and over-planning a project and just do it . . . and I did! And I think it turned out really nice. Thanks again, Jan!
Lynn
BTW, I still use that line on myself whenever I get bogged down with a project.

That fireplace is one of the coolest things I've ever seen! It looks like you got it out of a cave!!!

Wow.

ttodd, you know what I saw recently? A mosaicist who did mosaic versions of kids' drawings, so they'd last forever. They're really stunning. If I can find the link, I'll post it.

That stick figure family is *crying out* for rendering into a more permanent medium...take a photo and you could make the coolest family art heirloom...

I'm a bit in conflict a/b that Magnaverde's quote. In the past, I've always tried to be practical (i.e. decorate for the life I have) and I was always left wanting. One day, a friend and I were looking at Kelly W.'s new book and I said, "I love the colors & style but that work only if I live in Belair or Beverly H." My friend said, "why not here, why not now?". I said, "that would be like me going to pick up my kids from school wearing heels & pencil skirt". She said, "why not? is there a law at the school requiring moms to dress in juicy couture sweats at pick up time?". LOL :-D So lately, I said 'heck with that' and started decorating for the life I want to live and I like it much better. Life is what you make of it. So is your house.

My favorite quote is from Billy Baldwin "A person with real flair is a gambler at heart". It's always easy to go with the conventional. It takes a lot more guts to follow your instinct and show your personal style. When I was looking at the pictures here from Gwer's house (and from magazines), I notice that the most memorable houses are those with personality & flair. So now, my objective isn't so much creating a beautiful house, but more in creating a memorable home that express my style & personality (hopefully the result is beautiful too but there's no guarantee in that) :-D

From the House Beautiful interview with Suzanne Kasler:

"What advice would you give to someone whoÂs thinking about redoing a room?

Suzanne Kasler: Be true to what you love. ThatÂs really the key to creating a space that feels personal. Buy things that you like, and donÂt worry about whether or not they match. Matching is overrated.

But how do you know it will all go together?

You donÂt. You may have to add or subtract once you get everything into the same room. But somehow, if these are all things you love, they will just naturally come together and complete a certain feeling. And that will express you and your style."

I have heard this so many times and I am back to living it! If I like it, I buy it. Before I bought to achieve a certain look, not because I loved it.

ttodd- I love your little artist!
My mom said Whenever my she took down the drapes in the house to have them cleaned she always found "little murals" drawn by your truly! She said she was always thankful that at least I used the walls behind the curtains!!!!!

Bella - I think that fits in perfectly w/ Magnaverdes quote.

You said: "I love the colors & style but that work only if I live in Belair or Beverly H." That's just a style that can be had anywhere in the country regardless of where you live. And if you're not in BA or BH? Who cares! Let your neighbors and friends scratch their heads!

I guess I take Magnverdes quote as in: I have 3 kids under 6. At some point I have to realize that buying more through pillows made from green dry clean only dupioni silk that aren't shams is not the greatest idea on my part. But I can buy washable green shams in a similar fabric and we can all live quite happily.

I also believe that if you don't save a spot for yourself where you can do just what you want regardless of the life that you live, then you're really going to short change yourself in the end. Just like dieting - if you don't allow yourself a piece of chocolate EVER then you are going ti be very unhappy at some point.

Totally agree w/ Suzanne Kassler's advice. Especially the fact that you don't know if it will work but you'll never know what could be if you don't try. And be fearless about adding or subtracting. Your home is YOUR home and not the one in the magazine.

For me it was seeing pics online and viewing rooms on TV that had a mix of traditional and modern.
To my HUGE surprise I now gravitate toward modern pieces long before anything traditional! I've fallen for the clean lines they offer.

"Not everything has to match"
The eureka moment for me was the day I took my sister to the furniture store so I could show her the last piece to my bedroom suite. It was the armoire. I left it for last because it was the most expensive of all the pieces. And now I was ready to buy it even though I wasn't in love with it. However there was this other armoire belonging to a different collection. I pointed it to her and said, "I love that, I wish I could buy it instead of the armoire that goes with my collection". She said,"so why don't you get that one?". I can't, it doesn't match! "So what" she said, "you like it better, get that one". Are you telling me it's OK to buy the one I really like even if it doesn't go with the suite? I remember being so stunned that this was "allowed"! The styles complimented each other, they just weren't identical. That was the eye opening moment for me. But I needed someone else's eyes to make me see things differently. We were raised in an era where women bought matching furniture. I never thought outside the box, never once considered doing anything other than what they did. This was before Gardenweb, mind you. After that I was like a kid loose in a candy store, mixing furniture and accessories left and right. Very freeing to be let outside that box!

I hope you don't mind I answered your question without giving credit to someone on the forum.

LOL! Okay, flyingflower, that's one demerit. ;-)

I mentioned to my friend once that I was planning on buying coffee and end tables that didn't match and she was shocked. She couldn't figure out why I wouldn't get matching tables, and how everything would go together if they didn't match.