I had very few serious argrements with myself and I always won! The worst one was changing all the corner cabs to lazy susans after I was so adamant about the diagonals. But all's well that ends well. My latest "idea" is to finally do something about the backsplash. I was all set to spend $50 on a roll of wallpaper but I got lucky and found it on ebay for $11 shipped. My reasoining on that is if it really looks that bad and I really hate it, down it comes. Not much money down the toilet for the experiment. Compromise;-)

Pretty good. We are trying to remember to enjoy this. We have both retired (i do some consulting), and we trek over to the jobsite once a day to gripe to each other about what HE/THEY have not done or have done wrong. Our kids are so used to it, then even they, when they are at the new house, stand akimbo and say "this is poor progress".

I am surprised though, at how passionately we find ourselves arguing about the stupidest things. But I suppose that is often true in marriage generally. We have had some of the biggest blowups we've ever had without a map involved, over things like the spacing of coat hooks and vintage toilet tanks.

I am also surprised, and reluctant to admit, how many really good, creative ideas DH has. And he is not the one pouring over magazines, books, blogs and forums like he was cramming for the bar. But DH actually redesigned my entire kitchen after the professionals had nearly finalized it. He says it was just that he was the only one with enough nerve to tell me that a 19' island was dumb. Probably true (that he had the nerve ... no question it was dumb!).

As for the GC, well not exactly eye candy! DH laughs at my jokes, I laugh at his, and he still plays a mean game of ice hockey twice a week, and looks it (except he does have all his teeth). I think I'll keep him.

I did all the research, he let me make all the decisions. I made him come with me to look at granite, appliances, taps etc. and he was bored to tears. I stopped taking him, he let me make all the decisions. I let him choose the pendant lights (waaaaay over budget), no more decisions for him. Worked for us. No arguments. This was a whole house reno. "Yes Dear" works well for us.

All in all our DIY went well...until husband decided to touch the drywall after hanging it and then touched the paint and the paint brush. I have been with my husband since 1984 and since 1984 I have tried to get it through his head that we all can't be good at everything but if we join forces we could be a super power. Does he get it? NO! Some things are my job and some are his. We do not have his or her jobs; it's supposed to be that the person who is better at a particular job gets that job. Needless to say there was a big bump in the road one day which sent me on a rampage through the garage with a black permanent marker where I proceeded to write as large as I could on all kitchen paint cans, primers and joint compound DO NOT TOUCH!. Ok I was pretty mad at the extra work he caused so on some I wrote TOUCH and you DIE!
It was one bad day and the rest were fine so considering all the work I'd give us a B+.

I spent a year planning and I think DH was bored to tears with my constant rambling. I dragged him to a kitchen showroom a few times, and to pick out slabs a few times, and he did voice his opinion, but that was about his limit. He pretty much let me pick out what I wanted. He was working out of town during most of the construction. I would've liked someone to share it with, but at least there were no major issues I had to deal with. Everytime I ask him if he likes the new kitchen ,he says "Yes Dear, Love it". Oh yeah, I wrote all the checks too. Ignorance is Bliss.

The original plan was to have an all new white kitchen. When, for many reasons (cost, couldn't bear to let go of the old original gumwood cabinets) we decided to do a "restoration," DH was really happy. And, he was really happy about the prospect of being able to do all the cabinetry (and plumbing, and virtually everything but the tile and counters) himself. We are both retired and DH has done many woodworking and cabinetry projects (I design, he builds) but nothing approaching the scale of this kitchen.

While I love white kitchens, I do feel that the kitchen we are building is unique and beautiful, and is the right kitchen for this house. I designed the layout -- lots of figuring to determine how to re-use, reconfigure and rearrange the old cabinet fronts. I made all the decisions about materials, appliances, fixtures.

As hard as it has been to go through this-- he actually started building last May and we did the demo in June -- I believe it is far easier than dealing with contractors. I should say that my DH is about the easiest person to live with that I have ever known or could ever imagine. And it has been fun at times planning and working on this together. Much of the hard work is done at this point, and DH enjoys the trim work and the cabinetry -- making the island is next. At this point, we are both getting really tired of this whole thing, and we have had many challenges and problems along the way, but we are coming to the end.

@westsider40 -- I can empathize -- my husband has the same frustration coming home at the end of a long day and hearing me pepper him with questions about kitchen design. He's not doing the research, although he has had some good practical input, so he doesn't care to hear about all the various permutations of choices about which I am (embarassingly) obsessing.

I am pretty sure that he's going to be sprinkling xanax in my cornflakes soon!

So, long story short -- the relationship is lovely, but I have got to be annoying to deal with, so it's not wine and roses right now.

On the bright side, as I've told DH a few times -- with the money we're putting in to the kitchen, and the housing market as it is, it's not like he can divorce me at this point! :)

there are a few more comments on a parallel thread. Please don't continue on that thread; go read the comments there then return and write on this one.

Here is a link that might be useful: The other same-name thread

This board is saving my relationship. If I went to DH with every issue or idea I have struggled with, he'd get that blank, glazed look. He doesn't care about the details, which brand of sink I choose, or which color I ultimately decide on. He's concerned about money, I'm the one TKO, so I come here and obsess with other like minded folks.

This is our second kitchen remodel in our 14 year marriage. We managed to survive that one too.

I've been given the authority to make the decisions. However, once in a while he'll chime in about things he likes or doesn't like and I take his input seriously. When we decided on wood floor, I had assumed that he was in agreement that we'd continue the same dark, handscrapped hickory floors we have in our entry hall. I was surprised, shocked really, to find out that he wanted a lighter, clearer grained wood. So I'm working with that.

The key for us is flexibility and compromise.

I would have loved the hickory, but really, I chose the cabinets, appliances, paint colors, hardware, and on and on. I'm getting everything I want, he can surely get something he wants.