I am so sorry that you are having to deal with such a slob! But dang your post is funny! I think I met your GC on a number of occasions. You described about 1/2 of the GC in this state!! lol! Hugs you you....you certainly need it!

So sorry that you are having to deal with this guy. It doesn't sound like things are going to improve with your GC but I do hope he gets going here soon.

(Your post did give me a well needed laugh this morning.)

Kate, I can understand why you are so frustrated, especially after such a long time. Seventeen months--REALLY? How in the world did you get hooked up with this loser? You really deserve a break. Go out and do something nice for yourself today. I'm sending good thoughts your way!--Carol

Ha! Kate, your description of your GC is hilarious. Not so funny is how long it is taking to get your house done. Come on! I'm sure you guys have explored this, but is it too late for you to cut bait and get somebody else to complete the job? Honestly, the state you are at now, you should be done in less than 2 months, but given your track history with this guy, it sounds like it will be another 6. I feel especially empathetic bc we built a similary sized and styled house, and we just moved in on Friday. Sure, there are still a few things that need completion, but the whole thing took about 7.5 months, and I thought that was forever! It could have gotten done at least a full month earlier had we not hit a few snags along the way. Our kids got so sick of hearing about the build and us just being in that build mode that they are thrilled to finally be in the house. Seriously, even our 3 year old knew the subs at our house and refers to our builder as "Dan the builder man." How are your kids taking it? I'm so sorry that you are having such a crappy experience. I so feel for you. I was on the edge a few times during our build. If there is anything I can do to help--hunt down items, research specs, etc., just let me know! Good luck!

I'm buying my GC a watch and a PDA. He is late for every appt and the concept of deadline is beyond him. In January, in the middle of planning this kitchen reno, I had a frozen pipe downstairs and water damage everywhere. The repairs for that STILL aren't done. On Monday, the GC told me they would be finished this week. Yesterday I discovered that he hasn't even ordered the floor tile yet, and the tile won't be here until next month. Finished this week, my a$$!

Now he wants to start the kitchen demo??? When he hasn't even finished the downstairs repairs yet??? Over my dead body. Half the stuff from downstairs is sitting in my kitchen. I don't even have a place to pack up and move the kitchen stuff to until the disaster downstairs is cleaned up. Worst of all, my wine rack is somewhere under a dropcloth in that mess.

Kate, I feel your pain.

Abominable GC but very funny rant. If you could string all your rants together into a novel, it would be a best seller.

I'm sorry that you have to deal with such a PITA GC. He doesn't sound like he listens at all. Awful! Through it all, you must have kept your sense of humor. Your descriptions were hysterical! I hope that you get that slob finished and out of your house soon!

I don't know what to say that could help with the GC, but I do know that you are hilarious. If you are not a comedy writer for a major network, you should be. I know that probably doesn't help though...I'm sorry. Building is not for the faint of heart, as you well know. Hang in there. Think of all the funny stories you'll be able to tell your guests as you entertain in your fabulous kitchen!

I am laughing and crying at the same time. Why can't contractors do what we pay them for...they claim to be fabulous artisans, but most of them are nothing but slick dishonest imitations of the real thing. I have only had small jobs done and been screwed, I can only imagine the heartbreak on a major project.

Hang in there and light a match under his arse next time he farts!!!

Can u post a pic of your contractor? I think I have met him on at least a few occasions on my project!
I have come to the conclusion that no one really cares about the quality of their work anymore. Very sad.

So sorry for your troubles. I just started my kitchen remodel and they are tearing out our hardwood. After reading yours it makes mine look like a piece of cake. This is my trial run at the contractor thing because we are going to build a house when we sell a piece of property probably later rather than sooner in this market. Not sure I am cut out for it after reading yours. You must be very strong and have a lot of tenacity. But it did bring a smile to my face of your description. He sounds horrible. Is someone actually married to him but I guess there is someone for everyone so I won't think about what that would look like. Hope things go easier but if not write more!! Your really good at it. Hope to see pictures later. Thanks for making me smile and I wish you all the best in the days ahead.

Glad to see that you have a great sense of humor still. My architect fits into this category, and I am also at my wits end (2 years to trying to get plans done). His physical characteristics are a bit different, but the end result is the same as your end result, so I can definitely feel your pain! I just hope that the GC pick will be an improvement because I couldn't take a double dose of duds! Hang in there....

OMG how terrible but how funny! I had a blind date once who would just let it rip and totally not acknowledge it and I would just be DYING inside, mouth agape like...wait. did that just happen?

Hopefully it will be done soon and that grease ball will be gone. Guess he is not planning to use you as a reference. But wouldn't it be fun if he did?

Well that just made my day... I was drinking coffee and it actually came out my nose! So funny!! I can relate on many issues but OMG!!!

I felt so bad laughing as I read your post. I know it's not funny to you, but you made my morning! And you've taught me another thing about kitchen remodeling--don't pick a fat, smelly, inarticulate GC!! I've just made myself a note! But seriously, please know we feel for you and are here to listen. Previous poster is right. Can you fire him and find someone else?

and last but certainly not least, i hate that on occasion the man will actually pass wind while we are speaking and not even acknowledge the fact HE HAS JUST FARTED.

If you would have started with this sentence, I would have seriously thought you were talking about my hubby! The rest of it doesn't fit, though, thank goodness!

It is wonderful that you have kept your sense of humor over this whole thing. I've kept mine as well. It's my survival mechanism. ;^)

Kate you are SERIOUSLY funny! Just love all your posts. Thank goodness too that we all have a place to rant to (I have a Modernaire hood vent rant in the works). Building a house is just a whole 'nother parallel universe than the one we are used to living in. Some days I walk down the street and wonder "how can that person just look calm and fine" when I am about ready to fall down into a tantrum and kick and scream....well obviously that other person is not doing a kitchen remodel, LOL!

I so totally can feel your pain....building a house is about as torturous as watching paint dry (literally). There are days I don't understand why things don't go faster and other days when miraculously tons gets done. We are now 15 months into our build and are a month away from moving in. I can see the light at the end of tunnel and am joyously celebrating this last mile. My GC team has been as good as gold. I feel lucky. Very few people I know still love their GC at the end of a job--I have more respect for them now than I ever did.

Hang in there. Keep going. Keep venting your anger (we totally appreciate it here). Put up a photo of him and throw darts at it :)

i knew you would all understand. thank you! but i really should explain that the GC really isn't a bad guy at all. in fact, we are actually friends. now i feel REALLY bad about ragging on him! it's funny how we just had dinner all together with some other friends, just last weekend and even though i felt like strangling him just a few hours prior, we all just forget it. ...until monday, of course!
so while i absolutely HATE how slow things are going i really don't want to replace him. and as i pondered the situation again this afternoon i have concluded that there is the possibility that he may be slightly ADD. -and i don't mean to insult anyone who is dealing with this; it's just that it would really explain a LOT. like the exterior trim over our bedroom window that just needs ONE tiny strip to finish it up, that has been sitting for the past three or four months. lots of other things i am constantly reminding him about that get forgotten. i don't know. it just seems that his wires get "crossed" sometimes. ok. i'm tired and didn't really have time to eat today so i'm going to bed and hoping for more progress tomorrow. again, thank you for allowing me to dump here. xxoo, kate.

sorry for the stress but loved the post. made me feel better about my recent meeting with a cabinet maker who turned out to be an overweight letch who kept staring at my chest....

what is wrong with all these people? I have been in construction my whole life as a GC and in the last 5 years just doing kitchens as design order build company. Rarely does a kitchen take more than 5-8 business days tear out to counters, appliances and touch up paint. My longest was 3 weeks for 2 baths and a kitchen. I ended up doing all of the job as the owners kept asking me to do things they were going to hire others to do.

I have remodeled entire homes I bought fixed and sold in less than a month with complete tear outs of the baths kitchens flooring wiring plumbing you name it.

It never took me over 120 days to build houses from the ground up as that is what I did out of school with my dad in his business. What are you doing taking 15 months or longer? How do these guys make any money or your are crazy paying them the prices they charge!

And every project I have ever done has a fixed price for labor on it no matter what including all kitchen remodels.

Lesson learned I bet you have a contract that encourages bad behavior on the part of those working for you. If he only was going to make so much money he would be motivated to finish and move on the to the next one or he will not be able to pay his personal bills cause the job is not done and he can not collect any money because of it.

daveinorlando: the kitchen is only one of many rooms. we are building a new home. i should have mentioned, but i've been here so long i just figured most knew!

daveinorlando,

If your kitchens actually take 5 - 8 days I applaud you... but would never hire you to work in my kitchen.

Contracting to convince the GC to get the hell out of there as soon as possilbe is a horrible idea if what you are looking for is an attentive, interested GC who does quality work. I don't believe that the express lane is the route to satisfaction.

Kate -- have you tried typing out official-looking punch lists with checkboxes on them? As someone equally organizationally impaired, I know this kind of thing REALLY helps me during long projects. In fact I deeply appreciate it when someone else is doing that kind of nitty-gritty tracking and all I need to focus on is walking through the list and checking things off. Might help Farting Dude?

Hang tight!

morgne - an efficient contractor who doesn't take on multiple jobs at once and does a lot of work himself instead of subbing it out can probably do a quality job in a short period of time IF all decisions have been made and materials have been selected and are readily available.

OMG! Do you live in WNY? You've just described my BIL. Except it's overalls he's busting out of. I don't think he wears a belt.