It will be interesting to see how everyone weighs in on your questions. I think you will get a variety of answers. For me, I wish I would have planned my backsplash and counter ahead of time and looked exclusively for a planned vision. IMHO, if you can have your cabinet color, counter and backsplash chosen together it will save you a lot of grief later.

We are currently in backsplash purgatory (which I understand doesn't really help anyone else). We chose our countertops, "smoke" soapstone, a long time ago, one of the first things we chose. We also chose our cabinets, natural cherry, in a shaker style, almost as soon as we chose the soapstone. Our floors are natural maple. With all that chosen so early on, I did go through a period where all I did was obsess about backsplashes. Both our architect and our GC advised waiting until our countertops were installed, and I'm really glad we waited. Our countertops were installed last week, and they are just beautiful. We LOVE them! But-now I have no idea which direction to go with the backsplash, as our original thoughts don't seem to work. If I ever have time, I'll post pictures and get everyone's opinion. But I do think it's a good idea to wait until the countertops are installed. (sorry it was such a long-winded unhelpful response)

I had a vision of my back splash even before any other kitchen element, then we picked the floor. We decided next on white cabinets. We then chose our counters based on what would complement our back splash and floor.

There is no one way to pick as each person's priorities may be different. To some, the back splash is an afterthought, and others, it is the inspiration. Oftentimes, you see an inspiration photo somewhere and that is your jumping off point. I saw my tile combo in the bathroom of an old house and it was love from then on (lavender field tiles with black accents). I have seen many pretty tile combos since then but none have bumped off my original choice. I just wish I could decorate more kitchens or at least rooms, lol.

If you pick a pricey back splash, there is no rule the counters have to be pricey. You also could upgrade the counters down the road if you budget only allows one splurge for the near future. In 5-10 years, a new counter could give fresh a new look.

I also think you could go with contrast dark & light, go with medium & medium colors or light/light. I don't think dark & dark would work unless your cabs & floor were very light and you have a lot of light in the room. Of course, you could go light and medium or dark & medium. You need to find what hits home for you. Don't do your kitchen by someone else's rules. You are the one who is paying for it and who will live with it. Trust your instincts and if you are undecided, then you just have not seen the right "fill in the blank" yet. Keep looking at pix and go to the tile or kitchen place and play around with different combos next to each other. Something will click.

I know a lot (most?) people choose their backsplash last. For us, it was one of the first things we selected. We happened to come across some heavily discounted tile at a tilemaker's store/outlet. We really loved their tile, but it was fairly pricey. The outlet enabled us to get it. The backsplash drove some of our decisions. At the same time, we had a general idea of what we wanted, and the tile suited our overall picture. Did that make any sense at all?

(Note: our kitchen isn't done yet so I don't know how well everything works together. So take what I say with many grains of salt.)

I don't think there's a hard/fast rule about counters and backsplashes having to be of the same ilk. In our previous house, we had very nice Italian porcelain tile backsplash and laminate counters. When we sold our house, we upgraded the laminate to an entry level granite and kept the backsplash. It looked fantastic, and helped the house to sell very quickly.

Thanks for the responses!

For me, the backsplash is almost as important as the countertops, which is why I am obsessing about it...and we haven't even picked out new countertops yet.

I will have to check out the tile outlet. It's an hour away from me so I will have to wait until the kids are back in school (I took them to the Tile Shop - that was a nightmare!) Maybe I can find some bigger glass tiles that won't break the bank. Naturally the ones I like are very $$. Champagne tastes and a beer budget!

I'm glad to hear if I go with something like laminate for the countertops that a pricier backsplash won't look bad.

I am also second guessing the greenish tiles for a backsplash. DH isn't crazy about the color, plus he says it will limit our paint choices in the future, which is true.

Why is this so hard? I love the phrase "backsplash purgatory". So appropriate!

I had the cabinets picked first, then the backsplash. The countertops came third and had to work with the first two choices.

Our countertops are a polished cream quartz. Our backsplash is a glass mosaic, but in a "silk" (matte) finish rather than the glossy finish. Our house is MCM, but more of an organic MCM, so we didn't want the glitz factor of a very reflective backsplash.

The counter top is usually the center of the kitchen and should be the first material you, choose. It cost more than the backsplash tiles. And kitchen back splash are many and it is much easier to match the blacksplash, to the countertop, than the other way around.

I always start with the backsplash first as it helps more than anything else to create character and a visual concept for the kitchen. These function like enhanced walls -- because they are vertical they are far more noticeable and important than other elements except general blocks of color throughout the kitchen.

That's why they can put you in such a pickle trying to pick them afterwards. Also, at the end, you're trying to do them after you've spent the bulk of the budget -- which makes choosing even more difficult.

If you have your tile or other backsplash material picked first, all the color coordination of the cabinets, paint and stone becomes easier. I took my tile and paint chips to the stoneyard and then picked the marble -- I was sure the colors would work.

Nothing can make a kitchen special more quickly than a backsplash IMO. It's the ultimate wow factor.

I chose my countertop first and had it installed with only a vague notion of what I wanted for a backsplash. I figured that once the countertop was in, it would be easier to pick a backsplash. And,since there were so many choices of tile, it would be easier to match the tile to the counter instead of the other way around. Boy was I wrong!

The problem is there are so many choices. Its intimidating and if you have any perfectionist tendencies, it brings those out as you find yourself on the quest for the perfect backsplash. Hoity-toity tile showrooms don't help either.

I bought my tiles at a tile outlet. The limited number of choices actually made it much easier for me (as did the price)!

I think your idea of the glass tiles with the formica counter (you chose a nearly black color that looks like soapstone right?) and dark cabinets will be a nice contrast.

As far as color goes. Greens are pretty neutral so you can use a lot of other colors with them. The question is do you really like green? Does you kitchen open out to other rooms such as a family room? If so you will probably want to use the tile color as an accent color to tie the rooms together. How do you feel about that?

I think you are on the right track.

Everyrose - yes, the Basalt Slate is the one that looks like soapstone. I have it between that and keeping it really light again with Formica White Onyx - a soft white (assuming I go with Formica).

I do like green but I am concerned about going with that color. The kitchen opens up to the family room and the accent colors are autumn colors - red, copper, and sage. The accent color on both sides of the fireplace is clary sage by Sherwin Williams, so the sage/green backsplash would work in the kitchen. However, I tend to change my accent colors quite often. I am just tired of having everything "neutral".

I am having trouble finding the larger glass tiles too. Everything seems to be 1x1's or 2x2's or the biggest 4x4's.

So frustrating...