We prioritized infrastructure enhancements over items which could be replaced later, ie plaster walls, custom hand built cabinetry, doing electrical and plumbing while we had walls open, fixing foundation issues etc and compromising on fridge (KA CD vs subzero or liebherr), and a 30" range instead of larger, and built a place for a steam oven and ran wiring options for both 110 and 220, but haven't purchased it yet. It has worked well for us and we have very few things where we would have done something differently. Still love the kitchen and how it has turned out.

Function was the decider when I had to make the tough calls.
Like katy-lou, I didnt get the 36" stove, I got a slide-in Bosch 30" range. It's very nice, but it is not my dream stove. I have been married and using a 30" for 25 years, its fine.
No sub-zero fridge here, though I do have a very nice electrolux counter depth fridge, CD was non-negotiable.
Nice, not BEST Bosch DW. And I really, really wanted the separate silverware rack- still a little sad about it. Also dreamed of 2 sets of Dishwasher drawers but I kind of always knew that was just a pipe dream.
I also tried to remember my roots- Home Depot faucet $150, dream faucet $900- that makes the dream a litte, ummmm 'embarrassing' Would I be comfortable admitting to family that I spent that on a faucet? No. So I decided upon a compromise max price based on my own value system- however warped it might be.
Oddly I went over on my counterstools, I really didnt want to pay too much, but I had stringent criteria: must swivel, must have 4 legs, must be upholstered, must be COMFORTABLE to sit in. I am very happy with them though.
Dont sacrifice drawers to cabinets. Drawers are awesome!
Skimp on drawer inserts, save up and but after market ones on an as need basis.
You can do your backsplash 2 years later to defer the expense and when you finally do it you will have a brand new kitchen a second time!

Getting an efficient layout was my top priority; storage was a very close 2nd. I don't think I compromised on those 2 priorities. Most of my compromise was more with DH.

Priority was a new sink, counter top, stove & fridge, & new paint. All in the same place. Went shopping and bought what was on sale. Project was done in a week. Still enjoying the kitchen 15 years later. It's real, fulfills my dreams, and hope it lasts another 20 years.

We are "splurging" on infrastructure like others have mentioned. We are bumping out, relocating our laundry upstairs, adding a door to our fenced area of the backyard, converting wasted space into a walk-in pantry/storage area.

Spending less on counters (doing marble which is cheaper than many other options!) and doing a mixture of appliances (everything from frigidaire to eletrolux icon, bosch and kitchenaid).

Having the banquette and mudroom cubbies built on site to save money.

Not sure on cabinets yet. Considering crystal and shiloh.

The absolute non-negotiables for me would be "infrastructure": well-done walls, floors, plumbing, wiring, light capabilities, ventilation and a layout with good traffic flow. Convenient access to what's stored in the kitchen is important, too.

All else is up for discussion - within a wide range of "price points" I could build a nice-looking kitchen with well-made components. If I had to cut things from budget, I would trim things that can most easily be upgraded ... buy used appliances from a good dealer to fit in the space for the dream stuff, use inexpensive lights.

I do a lot of "satisficing", which tends to keep me in the low end of pricing

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satisficing

I think function first - what something must do for me and what it should contribute to the overall look - and don't lock onto brands and models. Durability is a "function", so a floor tile would have a high durability requirement, a backsplash tile just sits there and looks good.

My search pattern for satisficing can be based on cost or speed of delivery. Usually it's cost - I'll wait for a good deal.

When I have the functional specification clearly defined, I start with the lowest priced product that fulfill the functional requirements and look for something that blends into the design concept .... the "look and feel" of the product. Searching online, I rank the products from low to high price and stop when I reach my budget limit or find something I like.

EXAMPLE: When I got through with specs for the ceiling fans in this house (# blades, size, light kit, LED lights, downward pointing shades) and the best color (dark) and style (rustic or craftsman or cabin) there were about a dozen contenders left to look at.

Three of them had moose or pine trees on them (ewww, tacky) or other fancy stuff.
A few others had upward pointing lights (bugs, ick!)
Of the survivors of the beauty contest, one was about $800 per fan ... nice looking, but I needed 4 fans.

The winner ... Slight vintage look, not ornate, shades can be rotated down, fulfilled 100% of the functional requirements, AND delivered to the house for $150 from Home Depot.

They replaced a pair of bright brass frilly-shaded fans, a glaring copper one, and a white ceiling hugger. The 4 rooms now have identical lighting.

These, with a longer down rod for my tall rooms:

Instead of these and two other styles:

Here is a link that might be useful: Superb budget kitchen!

My biggest tradeoff turned out to be one of the best things in the kitchen. I desperately thought I wanted soapstone countertops. It is not very common in our area at all and I could only find one fabricator to do it and it was 50% higher than my budget for counters. I am a stickler for the budget so I gave in to my DH who wanted Corian. We went with Corian Witch Hazel, a very light marble-ish look and I love it so much that I wouldn't trade it now for free soapstone!!! It's a completely different look than I thought I wanted but I couldn't be happier with it.

We held off on most new appliances, though we bought a new range as we were going from a wall oven and separate cooktop to a range for the be layout. I went with a Frigidaire has range with double ovens instead of the induction range because I just couldn't afford the electrical upgrade. No new appliances means most of my appliances will be black, but my range will be stainless. (And my microwave will be 20 years old. So it's ugly but works great.). Someday, I'd like to have the whole main floor of the house have the same flooring. For now, we got an interlocking vinyl flooring floor. So, that can be changed fairly easily if we ever have money again. I didn't compromise on any of my cabinet decisions. I got the depths I wanted, rolling selves, servo drive trash, etc. I got the Barker cabinets because they were available in custom sizes and were well regarded and because we could save a ton by assuming then ourselves. We want this to be the kitchen we have forever, so I went for quality and the details I want. I also went a little higher on my granite to get one I love. However, I didn't splurge on soapstone. (I did get bros blue leathered granite, which resembles soapstone.). I got my fancy (by my definition) Culina faucet and Blanco sink by buying customer returns at 1/3-1/2 the price.

Anything that can reasonably wait is waiting. We plumbed for a water chiller in the basement, but we didn't buy the unit. No drawer organizers yet. (What we feel like we need, we'll try to get from IKEA.)

My kitchen is still in progress, so I can't report if these priorities will work out for us. Buy I feel good about our choices.

During remodeling of any kind, always think comprehensively. Think way bigger than your budget and then work backwards.

Interesting question and really good to think about ahead of time. I'm glad I had the time to think these things through and look around.

We are not moving ever, if we can avoid it, and have five small children, so getting the best cabinets and layout we could afford was important to me. I also ended up going over on countertops a little because I figured we wouldn't change those soon. I chose the range hood that best fit our needs because the venting and all isn't something thats easy to change later. I have really enjoyed a well vented kitchen and it isn't even winter yet with shut up windows.

I compromised on all my other appliances. We picked up a free KA fridge and a range from someone my brother ran into. I purchased a used KA dishwasher for 50 bucks off craigslist. I don't mind that they don't all match. I can change those out at anytime, but the layout I can't change and the core items. I thought I really wanted a 6 burner range, but decided on sticking with a 30" and getting a portable induction burner that I can use anywhere in the kitchen. That was an idea someone here had and I thought that was a great compromise. Actually, the free range I have is older and puts out great heat, we'll see how long it lasts. I decided the 36" range wasn't really worth it for me personally, the longer oven preheat wasn't optimal and the larger oven size wasn't going to change things that much for me. I did get a 36" hood since it was all new. I do like the hood a lot, have a it mentioned that? Lol

I also found most of my faucets for the whole house on ebay or craigslist. I really liked a polished copper faucet, but the $600+ price tag was not in budget, so I found it on ebay for $140. Sure, it has a couple tiny dings, but that was going to happen anyways. I would never notice them now, either. I bought my chandelier on craigslist for 20 bucks and spray painted it Oil rubbed bronze. Everyone notices it and loves it, HA! So cheap and I like it more than anything I could find for $200+. I purchased one new faucet at Costco and it was on sale. Love it and if there's a problem I can return it.

Even purchased a huge piece of granite for $200 for a desk/homework station on craigslist.

I think get the bones done well and if you have to, skimp on the things that can be changed easily later.

My top priority is layout. I really do use my kitchen, and it drives me bonkers when I am trying to get things done and don't have what I need on hand, or if other people are in my way, or if an island is in the way of where it feels natural to walk, or if I keep wanting to set something down and consistently have no place for it, or if I generally feel like everything is crowded and that I'm constantly banging body parts and shifting things around the counters over and over. That drives me bonkers.

I paid a lot to have some electrical work redone when we came up with an even more functional kitchen layout after the electrical had already been done. We're paying extra to have a fridge that doesn't stick out and crowd a corner work zone. We went to a lot of trouble to fit in a BIG sink so I could easily wash big items without banging and splashing. This stuff matters the most to me.

My second priority in my kitchen is the feeling. I want to it to feel airy and open and easy and calm. Cooking can sometimes get hot and chaotic, and I don't need the room to add to that feeling. A good layout contributes a lot to the airy/open/easy/calm feeling -- a place for everything, simple lines, and having things physically open and feeling spacious and nothing looming. Aside from that, I find the colors of things affect how I feel in a room greatly, so I'll pay more for a color that makes me feel calmer. We spent an extra $300 to get a white sink versus stainless because the white ones make me feel calm and happy when I look at them and the stainless ones feel like such a grind. (I know that sounds nutty.) And I'd splurge on something if it makes the most of the natural light (natural light makes me feel calm and happy too -- I never cook recreationally after dark).

My third priority is sanity. We paid more for our pantry cabinet than I wanted to because it was the end of the remodel, and I just did. not. have it in me to put in hours more research to find something cheaper.

My dead last priority is everything else -- mostly the finishes. I obviously want it to look nice and be pretty, but if several things fit the desired layout and are the desired color, then I am totally happy to get whatever is cheapest if the budget is getting tight. We went with Ikea cabinets for all our base cabinets for this reason. I also wanted white counters, but as long as they were white and one flat surface (no grout lines), I was completely happy to compromise on the material. We're reusing our original kitchen's cabinet pulls. They're not perfect, but they're good enough and free!

Things I was happy to spend money on:

* Layout - spent counter, cabinet, and a few other budgets on moving the kitchen and fixing major fundamental layout problems in home.
* Natural light and air - loved putting in a patio door, replacing crappy windows.
* Floors - hardwood and refinished to match the rest of first floor.
* Architectural drawings - although I can't say they were followed to a "T"
* Re-treading ugly orange oak stairs to match maple floors
* Quality contractor I trust.

Things I was happy to cheap out on:

* Finishes - Ikea BB and quartz remnant counters. The BB was a compromise but I now love it so much. Sink - craigslist. Faucet - ebay. Lighting - re-used and from Home Depot. BS - cheap white ceramic.

* Appliances - lower end and re-used, bought fridge a year in advance on super-sale (but wasn't planning for long delay of reno). Will replace 20yo DW and microwave when they stop working.

* Stools - cheap from wayfair

Things I wish I hadn't cheaped out on:

* Cabinets. They're "ok" but not great, although I didn't need anything too beautiful they don't feel durable enough. From a local semi-custom maker, would have been happier with IKEA or spending another couple of grand to get the durability I wanted. But they look great and do the job for now (hope to get 10-15 years out of them).

* Floors -wasn't planning on refinishing whole first floor to match new kitchen floor. Wish I'd planned for this, instead we panicked and hired the first person we could find to refinish -- not a quality job.

What great replies! Clearly, there is a consistent theme: lots of planning, sticking to a budget and creating a solid infrastructure.

I appreciate the reminder of investing money in the things that are not easily replaceable and spending less on the things that can be upgraded later. I will install cabinets to hold the built in refrigerator I want to have, and put my working KA in its place for now. I hate to replace something that is working, even if it is almost 15 years old. Yet, it doesn't make sense to plan cabinetry around it. My Maytag dishwasher is even older, but, boy, does it clean! I would rather have a noisy workhorse, than a quiet unknown. Aren't dishwashers pretty much the same size? (Please correct me if I am wrong.) The JA downdraft cooktop? Adios...

The things that happen once demo is finished will be critical and boring. The floors are so wonky that spills run like crazy under the fridge and also into the pantry. Currently the return air is not a grill, just a drop-in filter in the bottom of a cabinet. Reconstruction step 1: level floors and relocating the return air duct/ grill to a wall.

Lazygardens, I love the phrase satisficing. I had to look it up: a combo of satisfy and suffice. I like that better than what I thought it was (satisfy and sacrifice).

Lots of folks, virtual and real life, have stressed the importance of pull out shelving (drawer-ish) instead of cabinet shelves. I'm not getting any younger, are you? It sounds like putting extra $$ in cabinetry over killer countertops is a wise strategy, for me anyway.

Something I cannot sacrifice: natural light. Non-negotiable.

You all are a great help to me and others. Thanks for all of the wisdom that is shared here. Any other thoughts and experiences are welcome.

>Lots of folks, virtual and real life, have stressed the importance of pull out shelving (drawer-ish) instead of cabinet shelves. I'm not getting any younger, are you? It sounds like putting extra $$ in cabinetry over killer countertops is a wise strategy, for me anyway.

Look into ikea drawers. Even if you get semihandmade or scherr's drawer fronts instead instead -- I am so impressed by the quality of ikea's drawers specifically, and they're so affordable.

My trade offs were exactly as you stated, drawers/pull outs and natural light. We sacrificed everywhere else to make that happen, and IKEA was our answer. I could have budgeted more but it did not make since since this is not my forever home. I wanted function and finishes that I love in the few years we will be here and wanted to setup for better resale. I could only do that by assuring we had good infrastructure, layout, and finishes for this small house. I love my IKEA choice. Would I love custom wood? Yes, but is it worth the extra $$$$ to me in this home? No. My choices have taken a lot of time and planning and definitely so improved because of GW. I would not hesitate to do IKEA boxes with custom fronts next time.

The other thing that I would consider major importance is flooring. I regret that I did not spend more time and put more importance on it. Flooring is not easily replaced. If it arrives and it's not the quality or appearance that you expected it is difficult to deal with/return. At that point, you put off your schedule greatly if you send it back so you are presented with a situation where you may make a wrong decision as I did. If it's done right the first time it should last a long time.