Not old fashioned. CLASSIC!! There's a difference. Did she mean to say classic?

Subway tiles are a classic look that you might see in old kitchens as well as new ones. I would think she meant it as a compliment, no? Comfortable classic old fashioned, not Kitty Forman's kitchen old-fashioned?

adding ... some people say the first danged thing that comes to mind without mentally checking whether it could be taken the wrong way. I am married to a person like that. :)

I will never forget when a friend/aquaintance walked into my new kitchen, took one look at the white painted cabinets and said, "Oh, you like that?"

What was she wearing?

That might tell you something.

Old fashioned isn't an insult. It just means she interpreted your style differently than you did. Subway tiles aren't new or modern. They've been around a really long time. Perhaps you are misreading the compliment.

I've seen this "classic" v.s. "old fashioned" comment several times now and I don't really understand the problem. Doesn't classic mean timeless? So classic is often old fashioned because it might have been "classic" years ago as well. I suppose "old fashioned" has the connotation of "not being in fashion" anymore. But classic is above this distinction of being in or out of fashion and shouldn't be offended to be called old fashioned. Classic is also above other people's perception of fashion.

I am not quite sure why "old fashioned" cannot be a complement. If your house conveys an older style, then old fashioned would be the right word to describe it. To me white cabinets with subways tile kitchen is a modern interpretation of very old style (classic, timeless etc etc) kitchens of the 20s and 30s. The design definitely is NOT modern by all means.

We often use "contemporary" to mean, recently done. It really does not describe the design style. I find the word "contemporary" to be the least descriptive of the terms that designers throw around and rather meaningless word.

If you have glossy lacquered slab cabinets, no one will call that "old fashioned" even if the cabinets may be 40 years old! Yes, they did those 40 years ago.

Subway tiles are "old fashioned" to me even though they are "in style" at this moment. The tiles have been around forever. Even glass mossaic tiles are not entirely "new" even though we think they were just invented. I work in a building built in the 1950s with the exterior covered in tiny glass mossaic tiles that are popular today.

I would consider it a complement....

I agree....classic.
My bathroom has the marble tile with Tuscan/italian-looking backsplashes that was so popular from 5-10 years ago. My sister, when she redid her bathroom, used white Daltile subway tiles for the walls. My first thought was definitely 'old-fashioned', but then I realized that it completely fit her almost 100 yr old Foursquare home! It turned out beautifully.

If you have glossy lacquered slab cabinets, no one will call that "old fashioned" even if the cabinets may be 40 years old! Yes, they did those 40 years ago.

I'll vouch for that since we just got rid of black laquered slab cabinets in our kitchen. :)

It's kind of funny. We are so immersed in our remodels and fret over every detail, and find out when we're done that none of our friends and family know what the heck we went through or why, and don't care because it's just TMI and their eyes glaze over if you start to actually go into the details!

I just reno-ed my back yard and I will be sure not to go into the process of choosing full-range bluestone, describing "dead-men" retaining support systems and the joys of low-voltage lighting systems to any of my friends.

My husband is a different story - he can't keep his yapper shut no matter what blank stare he encounters!

I think it might have been a complement but she didnt know how to describe what she meant.

I feel for you, I really do.

My husband has a friend who came over one day after golf
and said. "So when do you start the Kitchen?"

I started to laugh, thinking he was kidding. After all
we had finished the reno. The floors were knew, the
arrangement of counters, the appliances,
the moulding, trim, light fixtures, under cab lighting...
Then I realized he is serious. For about 7 minutes
maybe less I was hurt. I kept it to myself, but I was
devastated. My kitchen reno has been my pet project.
Then I realized he is just a fool. A fool without a mean
bone in his body. He was clueless. Perhaps trying
to make conversation.

Pretend your friend was being nice. Pretend that her words
were expressing what she was trying to say.

Classic is the perfect word. And if she meant to be mean
realize that your kitchen is YOURs no one elses. You love
it for the way it looks and that is all that really
matters. And chalk this comment up with all the other
foolish comments people have made in the world. And know
that you can pop into GW and have a TKO conversation
anytime.

~boxerpups

My husband had some old friends over right after we purchased our home. I had never met them. The wife commented to me that she would have expected a much nicer kitchen for this size of home. What? I mean here we are having just spent 100's of thousands of dollars for our home. Even if it was true, wouldn't you just not comment on the kitchen and focus on the nice things about the home?

But...I am sure your friend didn't mean anything negative.

We've had this conversation before.......It's all about priorities. Here, we're all interested in kitchens, right down to what color grout you used. We want to know because we might need the information sooner or later.

I had to take college math ONCE. I never took another math class. I wasn't there and couldn't force myself to be there.

Now for the interesting part. I spent 20 years in the horse business. I could recite pedigrees. I could tell you the name of every horse while I stood in the barn door and looked at the horses in the pasture. I could tell you which baby belonged to which mare and who the father was. I could distinguish among them just by the way they walked or their outline in dim light. I could give a tour and name every horse on the farm. I cared. That's the difference between us and them. They don't care about new kitchens or _____________ . They care about the things THEY care about.

FWIW Neither my daughter or son in law mentioned the new kitchen. Not one word. So I guess there's no point in leaving it to them;-)

Take it as a compliment. We have been remodeling our house off and on for 20+ years. One thing I have learned is that most people could care less about kitchen layouts, flooring choices, or any of the countless things that we agonize over. Most people do not know what things or styles are called and don't really care. I think sometimes people just don't notice what you did so they don't know what to say. Maybe your kitchen reminded her of her grandmothers, might have had subway tile or white cabinets. Whatever you want to call it subway tile is always cool.

monkeymo, you are a very kind person as I would have thrown her out of the house : )

I think I'd take old-fashioned as a compliment because so many people do mean classic when they say that.

And in ref to Marcolo's response: That's hilarious! You're killing me today.

Thanks! I knew you would all understand:)

I'm so sorry your friend's statement hurt your feelings. I agree you should mentally substitute "classic" for "old fashioned" and just chalk it up to someone who is not TKO. As long as you're happy with your kitchen, that's all that matters. Have a glass of wine and give yourself a big hug for taking the time to do a well planned and thoroughly thought out kitchen that will serve you well for many years to come.

I totally read her term "old fashioned" to mean "vintage" not "passé." I bet it was a compliment because vintage is in right now.

Hi Folks,
I'm just an installer, and I do try to avoid discussions of design and style for the most part, but I would like to clarify one small point here.
"Subway Tile" is not historically accurate for residential use. It's an institutional material, which has come to symbolize a historical period for many people. The common use of running-bond 3"x6" white glossy tiles in people's homes in this decade is a very deliberate attempt to harness that historical "ideal". In speaking with clients about their choices, I've learned that there are many who have strong memories of that very tile being "cold", "hospital", "sterile" and not at all homey or "classic". You can't fault them for their emotional connection with history any more than they can tell you that your cheek bones are too low. It's quite possible that this visitor *did* mean to say "classic" and just got her words jumbled. But it's equally possible that she just didn't care for it, for any number of reasons, and that's okay too.

Ellendi, You love your design, right? You thought long and hard over every aspect and have strong opinions about each decision made, correct? That's *your* room. You made it out of less-than-air and you get to sit in that bit of creative inspiration every day. Enjoy it and worry less about how others might or might not have made the same choices. If universal acceptance were the goal, there would be an awful lot more McDonalds and Budweiser in the world.
Cheers,
Shaughnn

Umm, are you sure she wasn't talking about white cabinets when she said ''old-fashioned?'' White cabinets were very common (in my area, anyway) in the 30's, 40's, 50's, and maybe yours evoked memories of her mother's or grandmother's kitchen. In which case, your proper response is ''Oh, this is SO not your grandmother's kitchen'' and show her your really cool induction range or wine fridge. ;-)

ellendi, the beautiful kitchens on GW these days are superficially very reminiscent of what my grandmother had in the home she built in the early 1900's, especially the white cabinets. She had no granite, of course, and an ice box instead of a fridge, but I too think your friend was referencing the comfort and pleasant memories your kitchen evoked for her.

Me, I love my oak cabs, and wouldn't think of painting them white. It will all come around again, as we know if we've lived a while.

You could have said,"Oh, you mean classic and timeless!"
I know what you mean, for someone to say old fashioned when you have just remodeled your kitchen, would hurt me too. Then again, all my friends know I happen to like "old fashioned". I think what it boils down to is she was jealous. She would have said somthing to try and jab you know matter what it looks like. Remember, hurting people, hurt people. Say a prayer for her, who knows what she`s going through.

"Subway Tile" is not historically accurate for residential use.

I have seen it in unrenovated kitchens and baths in houses built in the 1920s and 1930s, and in a kitchen built in 1890-something (it was a crumbling basement kitchen that hadn't been used since the 1930s, but it was original to the house).

It might have been bleeding edge fashion at that time, shocking use of industrial materials in a domestic setting, or because they had a limited budget or material selection locally, but they used it.

Hi LazyGardens,
I hope that I haven't been misunderstood in my comment. I'm not trying to demean the design choice but was trying instead to suggest a context to the visitor's outlook. "Historical design" is a perspective thing and not everyone benefits from the same view.
"Subway Tile" evolved from the use of structural bricks with a glazed face to provide for a more sanitary surface in institutions and municipal projects. As not all sanitary walls can be built from brick, glazed tiles were substituted for the same effect, but again mostly reserved for institutional, industrial and municipal application. The practicality of a sanitary surface was not lost on architects of the 19th and early-20th century and so these materials did find their way into some residential applications, but ALWAYS for out-of-view areas only. The "Subway Tile" effect was never used as decoration and certainly not as a focal point, as it's very name conjures up images of crowded subway stations and public restrooms. With the emergence of the Arts & Crafts movement, decorative grout patterns did enjoy some popularity and a traditional "running-bond" brick pattern was often used, but the materials would have reflected that Arts & Crafts aesthetic and "white glossy" tile wouldn't have been used except maybe in non-public spaces again.
I like the pattern and I enjoy playing with many varied derivations of it, but I also chafe a bit when it's relied upon so heavily as an "historical" residential pattern when it's more accurately a "representational design" of earlier times, and no period specifically.
Cheers,
Shaughnn

Our twentysomething catsitter sent me an email after housesitting our place for a week, asking if she can take photos of my "authentic 1920's" kitchen because she wants to renovate hers to look just like an "old original" one. The thing is ... I just entirely gutted and remodeled this kitchen last year. LOL!

So I think the lesson is, people have very different labels in their heads for different styles. I've got very modern stuff in there (a Liebherr fridge, integrated dishwasher etc) but apparently because I took care to make it complement my old house, it looks "old" to young eyes.

Subway tile IS old-fashioned, but so is marble, stainless, soapstone, and painted cabinets - all pretty cutting edge right now. What goes around, comes around.

So I would absolutely take your friend's comment as a slightly-less-than-articulate compliment to your ability to meld the kitchen well with your house and create a warm welcoming ambience. (I interpret "old-fashioned" to mean "familiar, warm, vintage, and classic").

Here's a toast to "old-fashioned" style! :-)

As others have said, I don't think your friend meant it as an insult, I think it was meant as a compliment! We on Kitchens, for the most part, know the "proper terms" for the various styles, but most people do NOT! To them, "old fashioned" means things like "traditional", "period", and, in some cases, "transitional". So, take it as a compliment, not as an insult!

BTW...she was probably totally confused about why you felt insulted. The fact that she tried to "make it up to you" by complimenting other things shows, in my mind, that she's a friend who cares about how you feel and was trying to make you feel better.

This is just a guess, could be way off, but I recognize myself in your friend. I unfortunately seem to say stuff like that all the time. I mean it positively, but soon after saying such things it becomes obvious that once again, I've viewed something through a totally different lense than the rest of the world.

To me, old fashion is awesome. I would have done an "old fashioned" kitchen in a heartbeat if I had a house to support it. To me the best of days and the best of people were in "the olden days" when hard work, respect, morals, and self-sustainability reigned. How wonderful, how lovely to capture that essense in a kitchen!

She probably picked up subtle hints that it didn't go over so well, but trying to explain yourself often just makes it worse, so she overcomplimented to show you that her heart is for, not against, you.