Maybe it simply gets to be a bit much, by the time each member of a circle of friends has a birthday. It would be nice to honor a birthday with something small, though.

I'm surprised kids that old are even having regular birthday parties. At that age, I can see them all going out for a meal or something, but not a birthday party with cake and candles and opening gifts.

I think going out for a meal or "hanging out" will be the norm in a year or so, but at least for their 13th birthdays the kids have actual parties with invitations -- bowling, laser tag, video game arcade -- with cake/candles. I can't imagine sending my son without a gift, but many kids are showing up empty handed.

I agree. I would bring a gift even if others don't. And you never know; the ones who show up without a gift may have given gifts another time or gone in on something with a friend or have given a family gift.

In the interim, I checked with the Mom of one of my son's friends. I had noticed that my son and her son were consistent in bringing gifts, so I figured I'd ask if she knew what was "up" with the kids who show up with nothing. She said she noticed the trend also, but didn't know why it was happening and had never heard any other parents talking about what was going on.

Anyway, as long as the birthday kid is having an actual party (versus a "hang out"), I'll encourage my son to take a gift. For birthday "hang outs", I'll at least encourage he take a card. I think it'll be good practice for him to understand you don't accept hospitality without offering something in appreciation. That way, when he's older and invited over to someone's apartment for dinner, he'll have the background to know it's appropriate to take a small host/hostess gift.

Just an update that my son is invited to another birthday party this week-end. Sending him with a gift for this kid is going to be particularly hard for me since the kid is one that's come empty-handed to every party of my son's for YEARS (not just the last couple years as mentioned in my OP). Ugh.

So what are your getting for a gift? Or what about just a card? I sure wouldn't want to spend much money!

I agree with you, you can't stoop so low. But yes, it must have been a temptation! Hope the party is at least fun for your son!