I'm unclear as to the question, but I much prefer the top kitchen (new home build). In terms of painting your own cabinets, there is no way I would paint cherry cabinets. I would put in a solid countertop (if the current one is tile).

Talk to a realtor about what is going to be the best return on investment for your area. Keep in mind though that ALL homeowners absolutely HATE the house they buy and plan to renovate the day they move in if you watch HGTV's house hunting shows.

a picture of you kitchen is what is needed. we can see through the clutter.

a stained cabinet is not outdated. a tile counter is not outdated per se. It all depends, Get pictures of all walls, floor, cabinets, existing windows and fixtures

haleydaniels is correct. We've never lived in a house where we didn't have to renovate the kitchen and bathrooms. So tiresome. I've looked at houses in the past, and -- at least once-- by the time the realtor got us to the upstairs landing, I just turned around and said, "I don't want to see anymore. I'm exhausted already." The only houses I've ever seen that I thought-- yes-- I could live with this, and I even love the paint colors-- they were totally unaffordable (to us). By my estimation, they generally cost a million +. :) I can't determine why decent taste has to cost so much. :) And we are not talking huge mansions with over-the-top decor-- just solid houses that were maintained, and where you could actually admire the tasteful interior with no immediate thoughts of renovation. I did just see a house today that was old, smallish, stunning and beautifully done. It was a short sale for $950K. :)

I recently bought a house that had last been decorated/updated in the 80's. The owners had their realtor inform potential buyers that they would be updating shortly (to make the house more sellable) and what their plans were, but that if anyone was interested in the house they would hold off on making changes so that the new buyer could update to their own taste and they would be glad to make a price allowance. In fact, the sellers were so relieved not to have to mess with the updating that they were generous with reducing the price. Perhaps you could offer something similar, that you recognize/admit the outdated kitchen and are willing to make an allowance in the asking price so the buyer could update how they want. The buyers are thrilled with a lower price, thrilled that they can now afford to update, and thrilled to get what they want. It's a win/win.

Out of all the things you listed it seems the least expensive and most worthwhile would be updating the lighting. While you can't guess what a buyer wants in terms of counter choice or cabinets, you do know that no one wants fluorescent lighting and you can choose some affordable on-trend pendants from home depot or lowes. I think lighting makes an enormous difference in updating any space.

Can we see what your kitchen looks like now? Photos would be extremely helpful.

Thanks for all your comments. We are now in Florida and our daughter is house sitting in the house we will be selling, and she takes awful photos ;o) so we can't show you photos of current kitchen. Sorry.
It is interesting to read that move-in ready beautiful homes are those that are around $1 million +/- because this is the price in the Washington DC area that we are in. So the house has to be move-in ready. Dated home across the street is offered for - $300,000 less than one at the end of the street where all the interior wood paneling was painted white (or off-white, very light neutrals) including the kitchen cabinets. Yes, it pains me too to have to paint over cherry cabinets, but most potential buyers don't have the vision to see what is there in front of them after a dozen walk-thrus. And this is now a house I am selling, not a home anymore. Dark paneling and cabinets make rooms look smaller. First impressions really matter, and not just curb appeal.
Thanks for the idea to offer to update for the buyer, taking off the list price what it would cost to update for them. I have estimated cost to update at about $30,000+ (cost not just to update kitchen, but painting throughout home, update baths, appliances, refinishing wood floors) and this would bring our dated home up to snuff with the one at the end of the street (remember the $300,000 difference?) so the pay back would probably be 10 times the cost and the savings to the buyer would be relatively trivial (say $50,000?) with respect to the cost of the home. And we don't want to lose the momentum of the first few weeks of a new home for sale. The dated house across the street has sat on the market for more than a year. It is a gem waiting for someone with vision to see and grab it. It isn't happening. The house offered at $300,000 more took less than 90 days to sell.
Voting was to be between cherry cabinets and painted white cabinets in an otherwise stylish kitchen. Thanks so much!

LOVE, LOVE the professional chefs kitchen picture!!