Do you want amends, or do you want to make some peace?

If it were me, I would try to decide whether or not the mature tree size would work. If it will, I'd live with it. I think one or two non-natives will be okay, your heart is in the right place!

I'm not against non-invasive non-natives and the English oak is a beautiful tree. Another part of the back story was that the previous owner cut down a healthy, mature white oak, despite the neighbors' pleas, a few years before we bought the house, which is another reason I selected this particular tree. If it were any one of the dozen+ other trees I planted in my yard, I probably wouldn't dwell on it. I know it still provides plenty of wildlife value in other ways, but this wasn't a landscaper sourcing trees from a random nursery.

99% of customers don't put that much thought into selecting a tree. The great thing is the tree is doing well. I was sold a Red Oak one time that was not correct for my area and died a slow death very disappointing. Your story changed when the friend identified it correctly but otherwise the outcome hasn't changed, just made the story more interesting.

This is really a personal/emotional decision which will you will have to make for yourself. It's a question of whether the species selection or the planting coinciding with your child's birth is more important. Your frustration is completely understandable. I think all of us plant-lovers can be prone to a touch of idolatry when it comes to species and cultivar selection. English oak is still a noble tree though, and it will likely do your child and yard proud.

Detente!

Cut it down and plant a real white oak - a much more interesting tree to look at.

Everywhere I look I see unhealthy trees in people's yards. I would not remove a healthy oak tree just because I found out it was an English oak. I would be glad it was healthy and enjoy it.

If you are happy with its look and eventual size keep it. I'd then get the ID verified again amd finally I would give the nursery a heads up. It does good at my work to beat my cockiness down a notch.

What specifically bothers you (or bothers you the most) about this? Are you asking us for philosophical advice? Are you just wanting to share ("give away") your anguish? Or, are you thinking that someone here will come up with some great solution?

Have you contacted the nursery? If so, what did they say/recommend?

What kind of fall color do you get? Typically English Oak is going to be tan, yellow or copper at best. In general crappy fall color. White Oak on the other hand does have off years but usually has a respectable reddish russet color those years.

Did you not pick up on this after X number of years?

If you're happy with the fall color and its growing happily then I just except it for what it is.
Its still the tree you planted and its still a legacy Oak tree.

What bothers me is that first I was sold a PA sedge that turned out to be a European sedge which has been tough to keep under control. Then I was sold a black elderberry that turned out to be another European "black lace" variety from Monrovia. The oak was purchased after I made my intentions clear about it being the centerpiece to what became a 5-year project. They also put in a swale that didn't work properly. This is a big, well-known nursery that services a metropolitan area.

I can't cut the tree down and replace it. My daughter knows it as her tree. It troubles me to know I went to the experts at the time and I was sold something other that what I asked for. I go back and forth between writing the nursery a long letter and just forgetting the idea altogether. Maybe I should just let it go and try not to notice how few signs of leaf feeding there are on this tree compared to the real white oak in the front yard. This tree will never give back to the ecosystem what a white oak would. I just figured I'd post on here to get some perspective.

I did pick up on a lot of differences, most notably growth rate, not holding its leaves through winter, and fall color. The leaf differences are clear as day now, but before it was pointed out to me, I figured it had a lobed leaf margin so I had no reason to question whether it was a white oak.

Sorry I absolutely cannot resist the urge to sound like a grumpy old coot.
If native plants are so gosh darn superior, you or anyone else promoting them as or believing them to be superior ought to have at least known why they were superior. Or at least a particular one they held near and dear to their heart.
I'm frankly sick of the whole "natives must be *always* be superior" nonsense, thus I can't help but find this story quite risible because it perfectly illustrates that some people aren't really making the most well-informed decisions on what to plant...just following some politically-correct edicts they've read somewhere. Anyone with a casual-serious horticulturalist's knowledge of oaks knows that English oaks (and various other non-North American oaks) are not known for good fall color, so a poorly coloring one should have raised concerns sooner. I'm thinking of removing an extremely rare oak in my yard for this very reason. Rare, but not earning its keep on my limited acreage. And yes, I bought it knowing it wouldn't have good fall color...it was supposed to be evergreen.
Don't take it the wrong way c2g...though it might seem too late for that! You've just swallowed the same swill a lot of other (probably, very intelligent and good-hearted people) people have swallowed. You "did nothing wrong" in fact in your mind you were probably sure you were doing something right. And that's quite commendable, even if it was done for (ultimately) rather misguided reasons. I'm NOT angry at you, I'm angry at the whole appeal-to-emotion culture that causes this sort of thing...which most definitely includes the nursery unscrupulously selling a mislabeled plant to someone. Funny timing, this screed of mine, I was just relating to someone a story about how many native plant nurseries in the US just sold, for years and years, the same easy to grow stuff. Just banking on the fact they could slap the label "native" on something completely common anyhow to stay in business. (and in your case, on something that wasn't even!) It was (mostly) left to a non-profit like the New England Wildflower Society to actually break this pattern and start producing some of the more interesting and rare natives for retail sale, like Stenanthium gramineum.
(btw of course, white oak does have better fall color...which may or may not make it superior. But it isn't automatically superior merely because it's native)
Here's a good essay, from a real intellectual, on this subject:
http://arnoldia.arboretum.harvard.edu/pdf/articles/483.pdf

David, fall color is the least of my concerns although I get plenty of it because of the diverse mix I have going on in my tiny plot. What makes Quercus alba superior to me, in my yard, is the number of insects it can support. I've always based my plant selection on this. I don't find spicebush particularly stunning, but I planted it to attract spicebush swallowtail and, sure enough, I can go outside right now and peel back a curled up leaf to find a spicebush swallowtail caterpillar. I keep my garage dripping in Virginia creeper not so much for the fall color, but for the good chance I can wow my kids each year by showing them the sphinx moth in various stages of its life cycle and to watch the nesting catbirds and chickadees feast on the berries in early fall. I feel superiority is in the eye of the beholder, and that's OK. That there's a consistent stream of tiny, groomed Japanese maples being offered on Craigslist for $5K reminds me there are plenty of people who would find my yard to be an utter mess. Lesson learned though with this tree. Question everything.

As an aside, there used to be a little anecdote Dirr had included in his comments on oaks. Someone...the kind of person who really should have known such things, had a tree they had thought was a certain type of oak. It wasn't. The point is, sometimes, with oaks, close is close, and unless such things are your life, you just can't figure out differences between the oaks...and maybe not even then, not all the time. you may want to think your local garden center hires The Best People For The Job...but honestly, it's seasonal jobs for an hourly wage not that different from what McD's pays.

Want to know how to support a wide range of life, insect, bird, and mammal? Plant. It almost doesn't even matter. Plant a range of different things. Some things provide food, some provide nesting materials, some provide cover and a place to nest...all are needed. Sure, you may lament what you may miss by not having the white oak...but what will you have by having the English oak? Besides a superior mast for a sailing ship, of course. The marvelous thing about life is that it adapts. Do you really think the white footed mouse is going to look at an acorn from an English oak and turn up it's nose? Or that the squirrels are discerning about where they build their nests?

Your daughter is attached to it, so that probably solves it. My guess is, every time you look at it, you will discover a longing for beverages that are fermented or distilled.

"This tree will never give back to the ecosystem what a white oak would."

That's hogwash...there is nothing about English Oak that would substantially differentiate its overall contribution to your 'ecosystem' (albeit an urban one) from White Oak, Bur Oak, etc.

"I was sold a PA sedge that turned out to be a European sedge which has
been tough to keep under control. Then I was sold a black elderberry
that turned out to be another European "black lace" variety from
Monrovia. The oak was purchased after I made my intentions clear about
it being the centerpiece to what became a 5-year project. They also put
in a swale that didn't work properly. This is a big, well-known nursery
that services a metropolitan area."

All from the same nursery? If so, you shouldn't have been too surprised that they goofed on the ID of the tree.

Many named garden forms of elders including Sambucus nigra [Black Lace] = 'Eva' are black elders - European black elders. If you wanted another species you needed to check the species name of the elder you were offered.

In a Seattle study it was found native birds favored by quite a bit native species of trees in the local arboretum over their foreign relations growing right in the vicinity.

When I was taking horticulture classes in college one of the instructors was teaching that we should become familiar with individual plant varieties before buying them, in order to avoid unpleasant surprises.

c2g, white oaks are similar (they hybridize), so insects and other wildlife will find English oak quite accommodating. It's a difference that makes no difference.

In the Seattle study the splitting point was whether they were the local native tree species or not. This includes within the same genus. Already the original poster has related how the white oak nearby is hosting bugs the English oak does not appear to be.

But the older an oak is, the more bugs it will house. A young tree like this will not have many, no matter what kind of oak it is

I'd just like to second Davidrt's reading selection of Stephen Jay Gould. Not so much to "settle" this argument per se, but just because this author makes a great number of valid points about this very topic of native/non-native comparisons.

+oM

thank you for that article also. Maybe this should be posted in the native plant forum?

"Maybe this should be posted in the native plant forum?"

I guess you mean copied into that forum? The thread is quite on topic here, too (well, most of the posts, at least).

A thought: the connection you have to your tree, and it's relationship to your daughter, do not change with a name. Maybe it isn't the tree you thought it was, but it makes you happy and it makes your daughter happy.

That is of the utmost importance; be happy with the things that bring you and your family happiness.

@ brandon; yes, copied for information; not implying it was posted on the "wrong" forum

English oak is a fine tree. I too prefer the native white oak, mostly for the fall color it provides, but I certainly wouldn't cut down a healthy Quercus robur on any property I acquire.

I'm swayed. Won't replace the tree. Next time I'm doing a planting in the woods, I'll be sure to ask for one extra white oak. Thanks for all the feedback.

Come to think of it, that seems like fair compensation from the nursery. They provide the tree I originally asked for and help me get it in the ground in the woods across the street that I'm in the Friends group for. Ironically, there's a big hole in the canopy directly across from my house after a huge red oak went down last Friday.

hey c2g,

Know where I've been? Just got back from Herring Run Nursery in Baltimore City. Like many sources of native plants this one is a non-profit. I highly recommend it, today their inventory is 50% off. I got the self-pollenating muscadines and was very pleased.

In Sept Oct Nov Mar Apr May we have countless native plant events some of them quite large, some not. These are great sources of plants, if you catch the vendors when it is not real busy they will answer all your questions, we all speak the same language. I know that you don't live in the Capiital area but you have something like that in your area.

A bit late to the party, but that must have been a shock to hear about this
tree's true species. A native plant nursery that doesn't even get it's
native species right?...that's ridiculous. At the least they should
compensate you with a real native tree.

I would be upset
about this too, but considering the circumstances, that it is a healthy
tree, and your daughter's placenta tree, I would try to learn to love
the tree for what it is. If English oak is not invasive, and has some
wildlife value, that is not so bad.

It would be worse if a
nursery sold you an invasive species! For example, if you bought what
you thought was a beautiful native tree such as Acer saccharum, and it
turned out to be a horrible invasive tree such as Acer platanoides.

Oh, PS, I think it's really cool that you have Spicebush swallowtail caterpillars on your Lindera benzoin!!

Ha! TYerrene, you have just stated the very thing that happened to me in a large stream restoration project in one of our ravines here in town. So, a native restoration company was hired for this largish project. The dirt work went okay...not great, but okay. Then it was plant time. Whoo boy, I guarantee you we won't be calling those folks back. Sugar maples were on the plant list. They brought up Norway maples! It gets worse: The lead on this project, a woman who shall remain nameless, had the gall to argue with me as to the "true" identity of the maples they brought up. I calmly snapped a petiole, showed them the milky white sap, and as far as I was concerned, it was case closed. Ah ah, not by a long shot. They "consulted" with the supplier of the bunk stock, who said the reason I was confused (yes, it was alleged that I was confused) was because this was a cultivar! Oh....that explains it!

In another fun moment, in fact three different times, M*rcy was listing the plants they would be bringing next. Three different times, she said chokeberry. Each time, I said, 'now M*rcy, chokeberry is a nice shrub and it is native to our area. But the plant list says choke cherry, not chokeberry. Well, I'm sure you know what comes next....a trailer full of hundreds of chokeberries! Luckily for all concerned, the DNR guy who had the ultimate say on this was okay with that substitution. And they were nice shrubs. So 400 and some chokeberries went in instead of the plant listed on the work order! But that Norway maple thing was the corker. So, the lead engineer on the job, not knowing my history all that well, brought in a certified arborist to make the final determination. Imagine how it felt to have verification provided by a person who had-in honest truth-learned most of what they knew from me! More hilarity ensued!

+oM

They still grow Norway Maples? Trying to off load I bet.

When dealing with projects like these why wouldn't the team list the latin name and not the common name?

I assure you, the Latin names are used in our stuff. Why would you assume this is not so?

+oM

Nothing annoys me more than someone who knows nothing trying to tell me I'm wrong, and I know damn well I'm right!

This was def. such a case! The kicker was when that project engineer-not one of our staff-solicited the help of a decidedly primitive, albeit "certified" arborist to corroborate my words. That was truly ironic. Life in the big city I guess!

+oM

Nothing annoys me more than someone who knows nothing trying to tell me I'm wrong, and I know damn well I'm right!

Make that the official Garden Web slogan, you can have that experience here in spades.

So to speak.

The project engineer referenced above is actually a good guy and once he realized the decidedly weird dynamics of what he had done, made a peace offering at the conclusion of our working together, handing me a clump of Norway maple leaves! The engineer I work directly with in stormwater was aware of what was happening throughout. Like I said upstream, that contractor won't be doing work for us again.

+oM