From the sounds of it, I think you have the wrong plant...! If it's only recently planted, getting rid of it is likely the smart thing to do.

I gather that, for whatever reason, wisterias are not as rampant spreaders in the UK as they are in some parts of North America, but they are vigorous growers everywhere- as you've found out ;-). Is it a Chinese or a Japanese wisteria? I have one of both, and both are grown as 'trees'. We planted the Chinese one 15 years ago and keep it to ~8-9'. We planted the Japanese one in 2007 and are keeping it shorter - ~6'. I ignore the complicated pruning instruction you see everywhere and just whack back into the desired framework all whippy new growth as it arises - can be an almost daily task when it is in active growth! All root suckers and growth from below the graft union (assuming there is one) get ripped off (not cut off - I'm trying to remove bud wood...). The Chinese wisteria virtually stopped producing root suckers after 5-6 years of age, but the Japanese one is still producing lots, so it is the more rampant grower in my experience.

Hiya - I love a challenge & since I have the darned thing now, I'll probably just give it a go & see how far I can push it tho appreciate it's highly doubtful it'll ever flower much. I think it's a Chinese one (clockwise?). I might even see if I could find a friend who'd be willing to let it grow in a garden setting for a while to thicken it up more - have to get more info on how to get it down to bonsai size if possible though, as that's what I really would prefer. I've a yard full of various shrubs all of which are being downsized for bonsai & am so chuffed by some of the others that are doing so well & flowering etc. Thanks.

1. The best thing you've done is put it in a pot! If you thing the stem growth is rampant, imagine the roots snaking even fast under your lawn and house and driveway...

LOL - I know - I can see I'll have to be careful in every direction with it :)