Your buider is not there to ''help'' you trough the construction process. He is there to do the job as cheaply as possible with the specs that he presented you in the beginning. Changing anything needs to be documented, and paid extra for, so it is not surprising that he wants all communications to go through email. Verbal communications are no one's friend in the documentation world. If it only happened in a conversation, then it might as well not have happened at all.

If you want someone to advise and assist your understanding of the process, and be your advocate through it, that person would be your architect. Where is he in the build? Did you not pay for full service from him if you needed help with the process? Is there another family member involved? Where are they in this dispute?

What is your particular draw process? Is there someone at your bank who has to inspect before they will release the funds to the builder? Time to get them involved. Withholding funds WILL get his attention. But, you have to be prepared on your side with a clear documented list of issues that you want addressed. From your picture, and your writing, and your own self assessment, you apear to have difficulty communicating, which may be another reason that he requests communications be by email, with a written trail.

Do you have another family member involved with the build who could assist you in laying out a logical, third grade level, written document? One that outlines your issues, and backs them up with references to past written conversations, and with photographs, if possible? That is what you will need to send to your builder, along with the refusal for draw until those issues are corrected. That is how you need to communicate any issues that you might have. Never do a site visit attempting to talk to the builder without also following up with a written recap of the conversation to him so that you both are on the same page.

I hear you. The light in the master bath was covered with drywall until the day we moved in. I was just like jeebus are you deliberately trying to make me crazy? Be professional. Put it in writing. If it's in writing eventually he will have to address it.

Communication was poor with our builder. In the end he really has shown he is an honorable man...but that seems like luck and it could have gone the other way.

I made sure as much as possible got spec d out in documents attached to the contract. This saved me when some doors were incorrect. We are still waiting on the replacements.

I could have had the architect help with the build for another 3% but his communication skills sucked as well so I figured I would try to do it. That's one of the weaknesses with the custom home process. We are at the mercy of a builder who will deliver what he feels like delivering when he feels like it.

Good luck!

I am sorry to hear this. Sophie is just plain wrong. E-mail is essential to get the finalized thoughts down on "paper" (for a variety of reasons including legal) but you really DO need to talk in person as the process of building a home involves nuance and discussion. E-Mail is a way cool invention, but not a truly satisfactory solution to building a HOME. But you do need to do all these things EARLY, and yes, ongoing. It looks from your post & photo (not being at your site) that the work is shoddy and unprofessional.

Did you talk to people your GC worked with prior to hiring him on? (That photo is ungodly.)

You should have been able to have the work observed by your architect for less than a 1% fee. Rather than risk being exposed to a lawsuit I would have provided that service for free if necessary, especially if the general contractor did not appear to be willing or capable of supervising the work properly. I've seen architect friends lose their insurance deductible just because their name was on the drawings even when they were not at fault.

I've never designed a project where I wasn't able to save the owner more than the cost my construction phase fee. It's the best bargain you will find during the entire project. Construction issues are usually solved without cost or owner involvement. I photograph all walls before drywall is hung and errors get corrected immediately.

I know there are bad architects and contractors out there and I'm sorry you have had to deal both on the same project. perhaps there is a local builder who would agree to act as your agent for a reasonable fee. If so, be sure he has no ties to your builder.

Weekly site meetings that document the progress should be a given. You should have a written outline of your concerns to cover at that time. That should go in your file, along with the recap email that you send to capture the builder's response to your concerns. Any conversation that you have needs to also have a followup written communication in order to confirm what was discussed and decided. Sure, verbal conversations are needed, but without some written documentation that those conversations took place, you don't have anything to fall back on should a difference of opinion arise. You may think that you discussed putting in a 4872 window in the family room, only to find out that a 7248 was what was ordered. So, you go back to that paper trail and find out who said what.