" Do designers understand a client has to shop around so to speak?"

Yes, but I'm sure they'd rather do business with someone who was referred to them by previously satisfied customers.

"Is it improper of us to let them know we are looking at other cabinet lines or trying to find the right fit in personally and vision?"

Not at all. It not only shows honesty on your part, if they've got any brains in their heads, they are shopping you as much as you are them.

When you find one you're more serious with, let them know your budget and that you're a qualified buyer. It's the dating equivalent of a low-cut dress.

Joseph, here is where I am a newbie. I already told them my budget. I figured it was best to do so upfront. Last year I called a design-build firm and their first question before making an appointment was how much was I wanting to spend. I told them and then they said that was too low (now my budget is not paltry but is not high-end either, but they said their typical client is $100k).

I was very honest with both and told them I would need a year to save the additional funds (we are 75% there). Both told me that my budget would be doable but not to expect custom finishes, etc. Everyone is so busy and they seemed to appreciate that I was not in a hurry, but I also don't want to wait until next spring and then find out that they are already booked for next summer.

And I like your analogy about dating. And as in that arena in life, I think I need to kiss a few frogs before I find my (designer-builder) prince or princess.

It sounds like you are going in the right direction. You said that you weren't quite there in the budget department and were upfront about it. That's good.

You are still in the research phase. Now is the time to be shopping for referrals. If your first impressions about these designers are good, start doing your due diligence. Ask for some referrals for these designers. Make some phone calls. When you are ready, you will be prepared to go forward.

Do keep in mind, if some designers are cool towards you, it's a business and they have plenty of it right now. They need to focus their time and effort on current paying clients who are ready to go.

Spend a lot of time lurking at GW. You will learn a lot. You will be better client and consumer.

You are doing all the right things: shopping for a relationship, upfront about expectations and budget, giving yourself plenty of time. I encourage potential clients to shop, it avoids buyers remorse and smooths out the process. An up front budget is a big help. I also like clients to allow adequate time to make their decisions.

(Yes I need to prioritize and make sure those finishing now are not delayed. That does not mean that the client who is out to next year should get short shrift. A 4 to 12 month cycle on a project is not unusual and I don't think anyone worthwhile is only focused on jobs that will close in a few weeks, it's unrealistic)

You mention "...we are uncertain if we like their cabinet lines..". That is something you want to determine immediately since it is different than shopping for a relationship- pretty difficult to do both. Once someone starts shopping cabinets instead of people the choice
sometimes comes down to a color difference or a single feature and the
idea of who is doing the work gets lost. Since you are upfront about your budget they can show you what they have that fits the price.

I personally believe that the differences between brands at a given price point, once above entry level stock, are akin to splitting hairs -this has that, that has this. I say that even though I believe each brand I carry IS the best value at it's price point :)

Thanks Mark and Homechef. Right now I feel like I am shopping for the relationship first and the cabinets second. Hope this is right. One of the designers suggested Brookaven or their custom laminate for my budget. The other carries Ayr, which I cannot afford, along with a Canadian company called Talia by Decor. They have a custom shop out of Southern Indiana (not sure if it is an Amish firm). First and foremost, I want good communication with whoever I work with.