Ugh - so sorry you are dealing with that roller coaster - what a pain those buyers are. I agree with everything lascatx said and if you don't get an offer fast - like really fast - then I'd say take it off and get your life back for a few months. Even in cold climates the market seems to break mid to late Feb so I'd plan for a new listing then.

Thanks for the quick and well thought out responses. I get the idea of listing later but I am afraid to not have all that cash on hand for that new build. "What ifs" creep in and panic is a way worse place than waiting. What if I wait till February and the next buyer screws up (faith and trust are history)? What if I don't have the down and loose the new build? Plus I can save money once I sell. Less bills, all credit paid off. I want OUT NOW. That makes me a vulnerable seller. Emotionally speaking, do some people just go with the flow? How can I do that? Oh, and my support system is nonexistent. I'm flying solo here with all decision making. No pressure.

Selling a house is a stressful time. Some of my houses have sold pretty quickly, others have taken months and months, and none of it was easy, especially when you have kids and have to keep the place clean!

I don't know where the zen is in that. You may get a system down and get the kids used to cleaning their rooms. You could rent a storage unit and remove the nonessentials you won't need anyways, making the house much less cluttered (less stuff, less stuff to clean!)

If you want out now, I would keep the house on the market (but I am not sure I would make an agreement with that buyer! They cost you money by holding up the sale of your house.) The last time we sold a house, we listed in late July. It was past peak, but there was a lot of action that summer. After school started, it was down to nothing...maybe a showing a month. We got an offer on Jan 4. It was -40 outside that day, and would be for weeks. The thing about off season house selling is you get people who need to move, and there is not much competition.

I remember being where you are at. Tie a knot in that rope and hang on. It will end.

Thanks for sharing your stories and commiserating. It does add a sliver of hope & peace. :)

If you are flying solo, all the more reason to settle down and not be emotional about all this. Selling your home is one of the most important business transactons you will have in your personal life. When you let your emotions, especially your fears, guide you, you are MUCH more likely to make expensive mistakes. Ever heard of self-fulilling prophecies?

You are going into the winter months. I don't know where your construction is now, but there will almost certinly be delays. That may be the second most certain thing. Delays are par for the course anytime, but through the winter it's even more ikely. And I'm in Texas! A good part of the east coast is a soggy mess and there has already been snow in the Rockies.

If you don't have a contract by Halloween, I would take the house off the market and enjoy the holidays. By Halloween, you are looking at Thanksgiving or later closings, and anything later than that is a pretty low probability. If your nerves are shot now, the holidays will be misery while stressing over showings or no showings, etc. If you aren't trying to close on the new house in January or February, it just isn't worth it. Enjoy the holidays with your kids. You won't get that time back.

And finally, don't let one buyer, no matter how problematic, rattle you so. Be glad you are done with them and move on. Keep the faith. It may not all be easy, but it will all work out.

Oh -- I bought two houses in October with November closes. On the other hand, we had a house on the market starting end of the summer. We had one nut make am extremely lowball offer with other signs of shaky finances that we didn't even respond to. We held tight through the winter and before February was out, we were looking at offers again. We had three offers (not counting Mr Lowball's 3rd or 4th attempt) and closed above asking. We just had to wait for the holidays and the winter thaw to begin.

Oh this is good information. I'm in California and El Nino is 'a-comin.' For sure I'll take all this into consideration and clear out my head.

The house we had to sit with through the winter was in Sonoma County. The "thaw" language was figurative, not literal.

Don't forget that now that TRID is in effect, a contract that involves financing will likely be AT LEAST 45 DAYS if not closer to 60. My broker, the largest and most successful in the county, is telling us to write 60 day contracts until the lenders sort this all out. Title Companies are not writing the HUD anymore - lenders are writing the brand-new closing statements!

And based on your past experience, I would keep the home on the market "taking backup offers" while under contract. Our contract (Florida) also allows for an additional deposit after the earnest money & contract is accepted, typically within ten days. You can add that into your counter-offer, probably difficult to make it "non-refundable" but something to show you that the buyer is serious.

Good info c9pilot

Deb,

Only you can control how you react to other's actions. You can learn how to not let other peoples actions cause unhealthy reactions from you. My wife and I enrolled in an eight week Mindfullness Stress Reduction class a couple years ago. It is a pretty amazing way to clear ones mind and reduce stress bought on by the actions of others. Just Google "Mindfullness Classes" and you will get many hits.

Also, I would recommend NOT taking the home off the market. I think a lot of people give this advice just because it has been given over and over by others with no real facts to base it on. In fact, most markets see quite a large increase in home sales in the month of Dec. Even the one poster here that gives that advice sold a home in November.

NC, if you were talking about me, I bought twice in October and closed in November -- as a buyer. Both sellers were already in other homes. I have seen one house near me sell and people move in near the holidays -- in many years. The numbers are certainly down, and in my first reply I said you have to weigh being the good house that wasn't availble standing out among the picked over leftovers of a summer market and dealing with the stress of showing, cleaning, wondering and waiting --- always having it hanging over your shoulders and not feeling like you can plan.

This seller sounds frazzled already, has children and might do better to have a break since they have construction pending and not a home ready to move into. Now,u can move from panic button to reset button, there is always a chance that you could find a grateful buyer in November or December, and certainly the showings would be fewer so not as many interuptions to the holiday busy. BUT the seller has to realize that they are going to sit and wait and be ready for anything. Showings might be at inconvenient times (wrapping packages, baking cookies, getting ready for a party), a cash offer could come in with a quick close and move -- right in the middle of the holidays, and you can sit and wait until February or possibly March -- at which time the house has been on the market for a number of months and will not get the attention it would as a new listing. Even with a price reduction to get it on the updates, many will assume that if it was any good, it would have sold last summer. A new listing has benefits beyond reducing stress over the holidays. At least, that's what seems to happen around here and what we saw in CA at the time.

Neither staying on the market nor taking it off the market is right or wrong. They are just different. My suggestion for this buyer is based largely on the stress in the messages. I think it would be easier for her and the kids and make for better family time over the holidays. If the panic/frustration/etc. was momentary and the vent is over - regrouping in progress, then staying on the market might give some added chance of an earlier sale.

I'm so impressed by everyones responses and concern. (I rarely post things like this). I appreciate the validation I'm getting that the unknown of selling is indeed stressful. When I started this I was focused on the excitement of the future and selling my family an idea of an "adventure," but this stall squelched that good vibe (and everyones trust). I am a huge practioner of mindfulness and even downloaded some new apps to keep me level headed. Best I can do.

For now it stays on the market. We live minimally and clean, so it's easier to maintain than perhaps most families. I do like the advice of perhaps pulling it right around the holidays just so we can live without that inturruption and come back strong in January. Althought I sincerely hope we get a bite before then. I live in a very desirable low inventory area with simliar homes selling higher than what I'm asking. So fingers crossed that this chapter isn't the longest in my book and we can MOVE on.

:)

I think you got some excellent advice.

Ive sold two houses, and it is very stressful. However if this is the most stressful thing you have had to deal with like you implied in your last post you have it pretty easy.

If you're going to live an "adventure" that means youre taking risks which can mean success and failure. Nothing ventured nothing gained.

Good luck.

Fair enough. Adventure, risk, embracing the unknown. Check. ;)

Try to think of all the beautiful positives you have in your life. You are going to build a custom home... not many people are in a position to do that. I am sure you have other positives that are even more meaningful to you.

Good point. I will do my best to focus on these things. Thank you.

Hope things are looking better and tha you are feeling better about rolling with the punches.

Wanted to give an UPDATE for anyone coming back to this thread...

After the August sale that fell through, I kept the house on the market until November dropping the price 3 times, but it didn't sell. So I pulled it off market, enjoyed the holidays and traveled. Then in March we advertised as a "coming soon" after making about $2,000 worth of changes (listening to comments from open houses)...and it sold at full price BEFORE officially hitting the market! That meant no tours, no constant cleaning, no upheaval of our lives (again). This buyer was a dream and allowed us to rent-back until the new construction was built.

Everything went perfectly!

And as far as the new construction...when that became delayed (lascatx called it-September turned to December), we chose to rent an apartment in the new neighborhood so my son could start school. Even that went perfectly! The lease was 6 months, and the new construction was completed in 6 months! We were able to acclimate to the new neighborhood while we had no housing concerns (the rental was like a resort - we're slightly sad to leave)...AND...since the new construction contract was entered into one year ago we got a STEAL on the price and walk in with equity! I'll add that the estimate for the house I sold went down by $10k, so we didn't leave money on the table by selling too early.

I share not to brag about things going well...but to reiterate what I was told by everyone...that what's meant to be will be. I appreciate the Houzz community being there as a sounding board.

Just curious did you sell your house closer to the original asking price or the price after you dropped it three times.

I went back up to the original asking price of $522,000. Originally I had reduced to $509,900. You can say I "lost" the additional $2k that I put into it, but I felt making these changes was necessary in case buyers saw the old photos (they're always out there). To me it justified asking my original full instead of my last lowest price. And it worked. :)