Just because of the date on the calendar, it makes sense to wait another week or so. Here, the weather is just starting to get spring-like, so patience is a virtue. What would you gain by being in a hurry?

None of mine have started up yet and I am warmer than you. I have species, Vanilla Spice, Sixteen Candles, Ruby Spice, Hummingbird, and another whose name escapes me at the moment and none are doing anything. I can see buds about to happen, so I know they are OK, they're just slow.

I am curious if it is possible for twigs to break off with a snap, and yet not be dead. That's always been the way i told. Am I wrong?

Twigs could be dead while further down the plant there's life. Lightly scrape the bark near the base with your fingernail. If you see green, the plant is alive.

One of the hardest things to do is nothing :)

Just be patient and when the shrub has fully leafed out then remove what is dead.

I have the Crystalina variety, located in upper Westchester. It still looks dormant and in fact I did a scratch test just this weekend to check whether a stem was green. Clethra is both very cold hardy and likes wet ground, so I doubt there is anything in our winters that would kill it.