Sticky! Would it be too awful if you asked auntie to call your mom? also, is this person that objectionable? If it is auties EX and she still wants to do things w/him, could he be that awful?

Just say, ""no, that isn't possible". Don't give any reason, that way she can't counter or argue. When she keeps asking and she probably will, just keep saying no. If she counters with, she won't come without him, say "that's too bad we will miss you".

Thank you both for your prompt replies. I like your suggestion, Sherry_7bAL, to keep it vague and brief and repeat the same response until she gets the message.

bossyvossy, my mother's attitude is that this individual is no longer a member of the family so why is she obligated to invite someone she does not want to include, as well as pay the additional cost of his catered meal? Not including his name on the invitation sent a message loud and clear which the aunt chose to ignore.

Thank you texasgal. Congratulations to your parents for 70 years and I hope everything works out.