Why Do Women...

10 years ago

Why do so many women (and some men) want to be with and marry men/women in prison? It blows my mind!

I'm watching Dr. Phil today, and his guest is a 53-year old woman who is "in love" with, and going to marry, Steven Avery- the Steven Avery of Making A Murderer infamy.

Women have fallen in love and become obsessed with Charles Manson and Scott Peterson. They line up to be the one who will marry and live happily ever after with these psychopaths.

I don't understand the delusion and level of denial. This woman on Dr. Phil is beautiful and intelligent, but obviously, extremely damaged.

I hope over the two episodes of Dr. Phil that she's on, that it turns into an intervention. She really needs one.

Featured Answer

Olychick

10 years ago

last modified: 10 years ago

I think for some women there is an attraction to the "bad boys" and these are the extreme. Along with that is the notion that we are "supposed" to pair up with someone to love. However, either the prospect of that or the experience they've had with normal relationships is very difficult for many people (for whatever reason), but if you "fall in love" with someone in prison, esp someone who will never get out, you are safe from ever having to have a real relationship - yet you are spoken for and thus unavailable.

Add to that, women with terrible self esteem who don't believe they deserve anyone better or couldn't get anyone better, and men who are psychopaths who know how to manipulate women and make them feel special and loved. It's a perfect storm. Also, there are attention seeking women who are drawn to the sick celebrity of some of these men.

As I was writing this, I wondered if men are attracted to women in prison...and it makes me think of one of the story lines in Orange is the New Black where one of the women ends up romancing a guy on the outside. She's whacky, but very cute and so terribly needy; could make a guy feel great about saving her.

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Comments (15)

arkansas girl
10 years ago
last modified: 10 years ago
I do not know. I know a girl that got a divorce and moved out of state to be with a man that was in prison, I mean to be NEAR a man that was in prison. I guess she met the guy on line like on facebook or some dating site, I do not know. When the guy got out of prison, she could not stand being around him and they split up. I guess he put on a really good show, but what the heck did she expect? I mean HE WAS IN PRISON for crying out loud. You don't go to prison for being a good person! HA!

There are just a lot of damaged people out there. It's hard for normal acting people to step back and realize that not everyone thinks like we do. These women may not think that there's anything wrong with murder...I mean you do realize that there are people that murder and have no conscience...right?
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User
Original Author
10 years ago
It was really sad to see this 53-year old woman (who's recently divorced) act like a 12-year old living in Rainbows and Unicorns World. She was gaga over Avery saying that he loved her and calling her his wife, before even meeting him.

I don't know what these women picture in their heads when it comes to the "ever after" part.
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User
10 years ago
I wonder if it has anything to do with a woman thinking that she can "change" a man; having some sort of savior complex, perhaps? I don't know, but I would imagine the reasons are not exactly healthy ones.
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cupofkindnessgw
10 years ago
last modified: 10 years ago
What twisted pride to think such delusional thoughts! Very sad...
User
Original Author
10 years ago
Yes, definitely women think they can change the criminal, or think he'll never do THAT to HER, or maybe they see a bird with a broken wing and want to fix them.
Vertise
10 years ago
last modified: 10 years ago
There's a movement that Steven Avery is an innocent man, as he claims to be. Framed by a corrupt local government. Twice the victim.
neetsiepie
10 years ago
I read that the women knowing these men would be locked up for decades felt that these were the perfect partners, men who adored them and needed them and would never leave them. It fulfilled the need to be needed and romanced without the physical side of a relationship.

It is indeed very sad.
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Faron79
10 years ago
Yeah....I also think that most of it IS literally as simple as...."the poor thing...I can help/fix his life". Or.....they're in love with at least the IMAGE of doing that....

"How Bizarre...." ;-)

Faron
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robo (z6a)
10 years ago
last modified: 10 years ago
Oh man this remind me of an amazing episode of first person by Errol Morris, this lady Sondra London who is in my opinion completely batshit. anyway it's an old television series but I think it might be on Netflix US. Totally worth checking out that episode and the whole series, Errol Morris is an amazing documentarian.

wait...YouTube link!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XbLhBISXbVA#
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Anne
10 years ago
I can't even begin to understand. I watched a little of the Dr. Phil and had to change the channel because I wanted to yell at the TV.

I once again am reminded how lucky I am to have my guy!
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Original Author
10 years ago
To me, it felt like Dr. Phil was "shining her on", asking about this sweet love story. I think and hope he appeals to her obvious intellect in today's show.

I don't usually watch/record Dr. Phil, but I really got into Making A Murderer and knew Avery had hooked another woman on the outside prior to this one.
tinam61
10 years ago
Dr. Phil makes me gag. LOL Anyhoo, I think Robo hit the nail on the head. I personally think these women must have some sort of mental problem.
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patty_cakes42
10 years ago
Either change them, or be their caretaker.....sick either way.
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l pinkmountain
10 years ago
last modified: 10 years ago
Many people need constant attention and they don't care if it is negative, they in fact stir up trouble to get the attention they crave. They need drama all the time. They cause many of our problems in this world and certainly in many families I know. Why they crave and need that drama remains a mystery. If we could solve that mystery the world would be a lot better off. It's a spectrum and some are farther along than others, but I know my father is a drama addict and it was part of his growing up (part of the story reel playing in his head), part a reaction to uncontrolled anxiety, and part obsessive compulsion and part neurosis that needs to feel "in control" and being able to control others to get attention feeds that need, even if other parts of life then spin out of control because of it. When someone has to swoop in and rescue you from your drama, that is a form of control--passive aggressive.
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