Jan Moyer, My friend, who is a psychologist, said the exact same thing. She thinks the woman is jealous and/or has a personality disorder. She says she probably makes the husband copy what we do. At my house, I do all the yard work, mowing, pruning, etc. At their house, it's the man. So whatever I do, he does. She just copies my clothes and my car. You could be absolutely right. I'm going to try my hardest not to notice but I think she actually plans her appearances when she knows I will definitely see her. Like just last weekend, I was wearing a light blue top and dark blue shorts and I was on the riding mower. Just as I was coming towards their house, she came dashing outside in a light blue top and dark blue pants to "pretend" get the mail. It was Sunday. There is no mail here on Sunday. Another time I was sitting in the grocery store parking lot finishing up a phone call before going inside. She came out of the store and obviously spotted me because she proceeded to drive back and forth in front of me with every dome light turned on in her car. I was baffled. I just kept talking and acted like I didn't see her. I don't understand any of it.

Omg!!! Did I miss my calling? Decades of "people reading" have turned me into a shrink?

While none of us will ever know what drives the behavior? Best is close your eyes. Rather like nobody can make you nuts without your "permission" . Good luck and breathe deeply. Turn your head and feel sorry for the husband.

I wonder if you can try to follow her on social media - just to see what she's about. Other than the obvious - nutty.

To me, that would be doing too much. I'm not in the "ignore it" camp. I don't think I could do that. But I'm not in the "geek out obsessively about it" mindset, either. I'm a fan of asking openly what's going on. I agree it's not likely to change anything. But just having the conversation would probably be enough for me.

.........................as a dear friend used to say: "What good could come from this"? If you are sane, and the other person isn't, if a mean dog is lying in the sun and just stares at you? Leave the mean dog alone. Leave the not so sane lady alone. She has does nothing threatening. She does everything annoying. Until a line is crossed? Safe is better than sorry.

How do I know? I had an IRRITATING NEIGHBOR. She was nuts. Rude beyond belief. Left junk in the common hallway, she and the fiance fought simply to make up....noisy to the max. One day I confronted her politely and suggested maybe she could tone it down. She threw my own explosive/gorgeous impatience basket and all its potting soil contents at my door, five minutes later. My OWN door. Then she called the local police ON ME!!! I asked the policeman after explaining. " Does this make sense to you?!"

His answer? "Lady, I get it, but SHE called with the complaint. You did not"

Thus, I am saying......do not mess with the lady across the street. Please. Because the absolute worst thing you can do is apply your sane/reasonable mindset to one that is clearly NOT.

Agreed! These nutty neighbours are many cards shy of a full deck! No good could come from confronting them about their behaviour. (What do you imagine they might say? “Oh yes, you’re right. My behaviour is totally pathological. I think I will change and act like a normal sane person now”)

Yes. This lady sounds "Single White Female" level of crazy. Handle with a nice long pair of tongs.

I feel like in your case, Jan, that's an inadequate response from the police officer. If he said, "Lady, I get it, but SHE called with the complaint. You did not.", what was the upshot? He went away after having a conversation with you? Mischief managed. Am I to understand that he gave you some kind of warning after she damaged your property?

Tosca the police are not able to do a whole lot to help in these situations. Here's another one:

A guy hit our dog and killed her, drove away. My S-I-L witnessed it. We buried her. 15 minutes later a huge pickup truck comes limping up the road and parks at the end of the driveway. Jacka$$ hit the dog so hard that his radiator cracked, so he came back to our house and called the police from the end of our driveway to report that our dog was loose and damaged his truck. Got the same response from the cop that Jan did: "he called us, you didn't."

I'm really sorry about your dog. That's horrible!

The laws of most states require that if you hit an animal, you have to stop, attempt to give aid, and notify the authorities. Animals are usually considered to be the property of the people they live with, and that is also property damage. I'm sure you didn't think of the dog as property, though.

Are you telling me that in this circumstance you were cited?

My point was, and as it pertains to the unusually manipulative folks such as my neighbor? Liars! Manipulators! Insane but appearing otherwise when they want to. I asked that policeman " Do I need to worry I'm going to wake to slit TIRES? "...... "Call us if you do" . . So.....just LET the irritants go. My volatile neighbor finally moved. I lived in a certain terror, from the cop/basket incident until the day she finally did. In the meantime, you can't call the police on someone who is washing their car, going to their mailbox, fashioning a pony tail, or wearing green and purple. : ) You don't want to have to call for something a lot more serious. Put your blinders on and wear earplugs.

I agree Jan Moyer. I don't want to make anything worse and I especially don't want them to know they are succeeding in bothering me. Plus, believe it or not, they are customers of ours. Your neighbor situation sounds scary. At least I don't live in fear. I'm glad your crazy neighbors moved. There is a TV show called Fear Thy Neighbor about real stories of extreme neighbors. I watch that and it makes my problem seem very small. There are some nutty peeps out there.

lindsey, I am so sorry about your dog. How awful! I can't believe people. Hopefully you didn't have to pay for his truck.

I hope you can find some peace regarding your neighbors. But at the same time, I don't think its kind or helpful to go around calling people nutty, crazy, pathological etc., like those on this thread have been. Who knows what their situation is? Some kindness and goodwill could go far in improving your situation. Maybe some semblance of a friendship could result- you never know. Anyways, good luck! I need to unfollow this thread but I do feel for you.

LOL.......... she tried that. Lets just say "mentally compromised health wise".

@Tosca, no we weren't cited. But in our province we could have been, because it is unlawful to let your animals "run at large" and our dog damaged his truck! Ridiculous I know.

Fortunately since my s-i-l witnessed him hit and run, leave the scene, then come back and pretend it had just happened the officer just had a stern word with him. Our insurance wasn't billed. The driver would not have been charged with anything in any case.

Now, if he killed one of our cows he would have to pay to replace it.

ETA: thanks to all for the kind words too. This was about 16 years ago so not sad anymore but definitely still some anger there.

Ooh Lindsey so jelly that you have cows :) terrible about your dog, I'm not sure I would be over that 16 years later, but I know how to hold a grudge.

Right on there are worse neighbors to have, like the lady who was mauled by her neighbors pack of semi-wild dachshunds!!

I didn't read all of the comments so if I'm repeating what's already been said, I apologize.

Do something really visible but really ugly in your front yard. Let them copy it. After they do, change it totally.

I am so sorry for the frustration and weirdness many of you here have been experiencing...I think the hardest part for me would be the strange sense of being watched so eagerly. I really hate the idea of my privacy being invaded and of being stalked (I've also probably watched a bit too much Discover ID!)

I too think I have an uncommon eye (sort of travel-inspired eclecticism mixed with traditional) that feels like me. I love home design and spending some free time dreaming, creating and planning, and occasionally making those purchases that bring it all together. It would absolutely bother me to have that copied over and over and over again. I actually laughed out loud at Jan's idea of dumping potting soil on top of your car! I'd go further and make an auto garden on top... something with plastic flowers sticking out of it.

A couple of things: first, to the people who poo-pooed the original comment, and who wrote shaming things such as "Oh I just wish my life were simple enough that I had the time to be so petty" or "Oh, just suck it up, Buttercup...imitation is flattery, get over it!" — even after reading explications of the original comment and other's experiences that were equally or even more disturbing — you may wish to work on your listening skills. Your lack of empathy here was just sort of nasty and inappropriate. Why comment at all to someone clearly looking for some solace and understanding in an appropriate place? Let us hope this never happens to you or someone you care about. Second: I wanted to suggest that some of you consider privacy hedges or fat evergreen trees and possibly climbing vines/bushes over fencing. I don't know what your lawns are like, but perhaps there is a way to create some serious privacy between you and the prying eyes? Something like this:

https://www.google.com/search?q=privacy+landscaping&client=firefox-b-1&tbm=isch&source=iu&ictx=1&fir=qrtKJ5FlUzEjyM%253A%252C__Nb6LaNsc-iWM%252C_&usg=_Hd1exubN4uX34UV5khyQhwYICpU%3D&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwin--s-pzbAhXTJDQIHaZSAMAQ9QEwA3oECAEQMg#imgrc=qrtKJ5FlUzEjyM:

Yes I feel your pain my been doing for the past two years it’s like whyyyyyyyy😩

"Your lack of empathy here was just sort of nasty and inappropriate. Why comment at all to someone clearly looking for some solace and understanding in an appropriate place? Let us hope this never happens to you or someone you care about."

You want empathy? Go tell your mom. You want the truth, even though it may be unvarnished and not what you want to hear? Come to Houzz; it's what makes the site valuable. You're welcome.

To everybody who's posted flippant comments about this subject, they obviously have never been in a similar situation. We fell out with our neighbours years ago over the noise they (still continue to) make. Since then they've bought similar items to ours, obviously only the items they can see when they stick their big noses over the fence, even buying "whatever" in the same colour.

Imitation is not the "sincerest form of flattery" at all, quite the opposite, it's downright bad mannered and rude.

I suppose we should feel sorry for these pathetic copycats in a way, they don't have minds of their own and are incapable of having their own ideas.

I used to roll my eyes at these threads. But now I see the issue. I drive by a house on my way to work, about a year ago the owners re-did the entire outside. The colors and materials they used were quite unique. No one in this area has done anything like it. It was your basic 1960’s ranch that had the boring siding/orange brick combo.

About 6 months ago a developer built a house and copied everything from the remodeled house. Every last item down to the light fixtures. This new house sits 3 houses down.

If I were the first homeowners Id be very pissed. There is an entire subdivision full of empty lots out back that they could have built that house. It still hasn’t sold and properties around here sell within days.

I had a neighbor like that. We moved 5 years ago and your story brought back some flashbacks, even the clothing one. She also started doing her hair like mine it was odd and I couldn’t complain to our other neighbor friends because I would come across as the crazy one and think people would be like get over yourself. Anyways point is I kind of forgot and after we moved I have only stayed in touch with her on Instagram and see her house pictures pop up and think, “ah man I know why she copied me, her style is horrible” but I totally know your frustration. My husband and I made a rule after that situation, no more close neighbor friends, and it’s worked so far, we love our new neighbors but mostly because we are all super friendly, but for the most part keep to ourselves.

My in-laws are like this! We are building our new house about 1/4 mile away from where they tore down their summer house to rebuild a permanent house. They are only in the framing stage and we are at the drywall phase; however, they seem to be making a lot of the same choices we did. I'm super annoyed by it, even though I realize it is a form of flattery. It's like "damn, get your own ideas....I obsessed over mine for the last 2 years".

On the flip side/selfish side of that....someday we will inherit this lake house so I don't necessarily mind the copying since their style is a little "questionable" if you will...LOL

Hi I have a big problem with my naighbour who I have never got on with but she copies everything I got that she can see her latest is I just put plastic grass in my front garden with new plants and pots only to find 7 days later she has done the same best part of it is she already had patio stones down so didn't need fake grass it makes my blood boil if I put up new curtains she copies if I hand bedding and toilet mats on line she will have the same out the following week I had new bay window week later she had a new bay window exactly the same as mine I could go on and on 😡😡😡

I wish my neighbor would copy me as then I wouldn't have to look at all her bad choices she has made for her home and yard!

I totally understand so many of the people writing on this site! I have a crazy neighbor who copies my hair, clothing, our cars, our holiday decorations like a clone! I can’t make a move without getting copied! It’s been going on for 20 years! Now I put up holiday decorations later than usual & avoid bumping into her outside. This has all helped. We all thought we were imagining things, then it got too be too coincidental! At least I know I’m not the only one who experiences a “Single White Female” type of neighbor! Lol!

I also have a front neighbor that wakes up with anger to beat me and does it in front of me for he can have the pleasure on seeing Mr that he copied which is insane

How do you get over this, my neighbors are coping all the renovation I have done as well. This summer I opened my back room windows which I connect to enlarge my kitchen and after a while I noticed them (husband and Wife) sitting close to my fence looking towards my house, so I closed my blinds. And weeks after I noticed they were carrying countertop, that just put me way over the top. I am still going thru this angry beyond not understand why they keep coping my house and the have no shame. Do they even realize that it's bad, I makes me angry they try to claim it's their idea. I'm to the point I can't even look at them without wanting to yell at them they are copycat and annoying and I leave me alone. Also what is their problem. How has anyone gotten over this and be ok.

Do what I did try to find a way for people to know that your neighbors have copied you like pictures of there home before and after or compare them to yours and post them on social media for everyone to

I'd run around my house naked and see if they copied that.

My neighbour used to imitate what I was doing whole day at home like when I cook at home then she will also cook,she will come out of her house as soon as i get out of the house to stalk me. Very next day she will also try to wear same type of dresses I used to wear, imitating the way I talk and her husband will also encourage her to do so. She will try to imitate in front of me. One day I asked them directly are they psychologically affected. Because her imitation was so irritating. I am sure They don’t have anything to do in their life. Full of jealousy they are.

My neighbour as copied almst everything I have done in my garden when we moved here the arden as like a jungle we worked hard to get it a blind canvas that we could work on eventually we got it looking nice with flowers after feature hanging baskets an my neighbours said at the time she couldn't have flowers because her husband had an allergy now she has hanging baskets all ver flowers in the garden and we recently put stone down for low mateinace and this morning they were putting stone down to put a water feature on my husband says the same as yours it's because it looks nice it as taken all the pleasure that I have put int making it or little bit of haven to sit out in they even look over the fence when we are sitting out.

Wow - can I get a period.

I'm sorry you've received some unempathetic comments here. I absolutely love design and completely understand how much work it takes to create something, research it all & the personal thought it takes. When it comes to intricate design, I too would be angry about it. It is NOT flattery; it is laziness whilst receiving the credit of the imagination and hard work of yours. People don't know the entire quote: “IMITATION IS THE SINCEREST FORM OF FLATTERY THAT MEDIOCRITY CAN PAY TO GREATNESS.” - Oscar Wilde

They moved in a year ago when I go out the lights are switched off but when I return they are always turned on and this is constant the woman always makes a noise when I return in her kitchen she either drops something or bangs something when her husband is at work but hes just as bad he wears similar colours to what I wear or if I put on a skirt he puts on shorts and same jacket and colour as I what I have on I call him in my mind a p...y or (fassy) in other terms they think I'm interested in them but that is further from the truth my son has disabilities so i dont have the time to be nosy they just need to get a life they have three small children when i explain to friends and family they think I'm making it up please

If a neighbour is copying you, great! At least they are into home improvements! Would be a thousand times worse to be living next to neighbours who don’t take care of their property.

HU…it sounds like they’ve found a way to push your buttons. Let it go, ignore it, and move on. When you stop reacting, they’ll probably stop too.

My next door neighbor does this and it is annoying as hell. They've exactly copied 5 things from my front yard. These are people who never did anything to their yard before.

If there is any type of polite conversation that is still taking place, perhaps a frank discussion could take place just to see if it helps down the road. Mention that you put a lot of time and effort to reflect your personality and style and it’s been diminished when it has been copied exactly. Who knows and at least you tried. Would be interesting to hear their reply.

People with no imagination may copy you down to the faux grass….unfortunately, you can do nothing about it. Maybe you need a garden statue of an elf peering through binoculars….facing their bathroom window. It will give you a chuckle, but they will still be copycats with no imagination of their own. Pity them. It will continue until one of you moves. Only a tall hedge will give you a feeling of separation, especially if they add a similar hedge.

Here is a suggestion for these folks complaining about being copied. You should put your design superpowers to use for good. Make design choices that are good for the environment and for your neighborhood and delight when people copy you. I live in California and have taken out most of my grass and landscaped with fire-safe and drought tolerant plants. I’m happy when my neighbors copy. I planted lots of trees and showed my neighbors a good low cost place to buy trees. Now our street is filled with shade and lovely trees. I also added outdoor lights for security and helped others find the best options for their homes. Instead of seeing this as all bad, think about what you can do to design your neighborhood to your liking.

design your neighborhood to your liking

bendbarr, I like your thinking!

I feel your pain my neighbours are bat s### crazy copy what i do even my chestmas lights lol all because they want to move and no one will swap with them because of the area &because they are anti social.i agree approaching is not best especially dealing with someone like that my neighbours are narcinarcissistic as well

and bullies

Bailey you're probably / them

I had a friend who said I copied her once  it never can be exactly copied because we all have different homes and it doesn't look the same in a different environments   I was hurt by my friend it should have been a compliment   everything in this world is copied  don't let it get to you  just be thankful  for what you have

whoever says imitation is the highest form of flattery is mindless to what is really going on. I have had now in my life, 2 neighbors (one years ago, who passed away) that copy my interior and exterior designs....my hair, clothes, etc...this one that lives across from me I won't allow into my house, b/c I know what she'll do. I bought a victorian plant hanger she bought the exact same one, I put lights around my door wreath, she does the same, I place lights outside, on my railing, she doe the same, I put trees on either side of my door with lights, she does the same, so I confronted her and asked her to please stop, she put her hand on her heart like she was a victim and denyed it, as years ago, the other one did. She lived right across the street from me, and now, if I put crackle glass balls in my tree, she goes out and buys not the exact same thing, but mimics it. I put out flaming candles she does the same....this is nuts and stealing your identity. You put lots of work into designing and planning and someone else steals it. I wouldn't mind if she didn't live across the street but she does....and the moment I put something new out, she uses her dog as an excuse to walk over and survey what I have.....so, I'm going to stop decorating the outside and just do the inside where she is never allowed. I will do Christmas and 4th of July outside, but that's it. But it is definately a sickness. She wants what others have...and she cannot help herself. Last year she even bought the same flowers as I had and bragged about it???? I had a boss who copied eveyrone elses work and stole it change it a tad then called it his...he did the same with recipes....Geeze Lousie....and it's so freaking obvious. But this neighbor seems like she is going it on purpose? Honestly....she lives alone, and it's creepy....

All of you people commenting that one should not be annoyed that their neighbor stole their thoughtfully planned out landscaping ideas are probably the one's doing the copycatting. We are not flattered, it is ANNOYING and yes it cheapens the concept when it starts "popping up" all over the place! What is worse is that they don't even acknowledge or compliment you after they rip you off. I think a comment such as "hmmm wonder where you got that idea from???" is a great retort when you run into them and yes it is worth it to not be friendly with thieves that do this. They need to do their own research and come up with something original. When you know, you know.