I asked for a turn table for Christmas. DH was more than happy to oblige. Then he found out I wanted it as a decor feature. . .

That's tough. And you have every reason to be disappointed and frustrated. Can you and he sell some of your current audio items and put the cash towards new things that work together in the living area? Also, can you cut holes or vents in the back of the amoire so the mess can closed off?

And, me being me, I would nicely point out all the compromises that I am making for the new living arrangement. Hopefully that will encourage him to compromise as well.

What if you open the back back of the armoire for venting? Cut a hole in the back and cover it with mesh.

I'd assume the receiver only has to be venting when it is on- it wouldn't need to vent when turned off, right? Can't you turn it off and close the doors when the TV is not in use or music is not being played?

If it still gets "phantom" power so would need to vent even when "off," just get one of those switches you can turn off and on via remote control and turn the power off at the source and close the door to the armoire when it is not being used.

I would imagine it would not be terribly expensive to buy a record player that could work w/ his receiver.

I also had an audiophile bf and a small house. I appreciate the great sound that can come from a perfectly set up system but.. I am not always open to the compromise that is necessary for "perfection". At the time, what worked for me was to lay out our needs and challenges-- as my SO was also a problem solver. We opted to plan a movie watching/music listening/guitar playing space in the basement. Upstairs we compromised with a high end sound bar that could connect to our tv and devices.

This may not work for you-- but my point is that I detailed all the types of listening and quality needs for both of us and we were able to define pretty workable zones. He really enjoyed the planning/scheming for each zone. He is a CL guy and a deal hunter so he had some fun too scouting out the additions we needed to our equipment for his plans. We had a multi-phase approach as we weren't prepared to buy another tv and all new furniture ahead of some other needs-- but it would have been comfortable and audio-ready pretty quickly.

All that said, we didn't survive the adventure of combining lifestyles and homes. There are a lot of reasons for that and thankfully (for the purpose of this thread) none of them had anything to do with our audio setup lol. However, I do think some of it comes down to where we were willing to compromise and IF we were willing to compromise. I used to joke about setting him up in the (dilapidated) shed -- for his pastimes and "play"-- and some days for sleeping and living lol. It was a joke but it became far too regular of a joke and I recognize that I was making him feel marginalized and intrusive in my space. It wasn't my intention but it absolutely was a reflection of where I didn't want to compromise. I was happy with him in my home but I wasn't prepared to make my home completely ours. You are being much more accommodating and I think that's the key. Enjoy your new home!

Yeah ML, that was my argument, it's not like the armoire is air-tight, it has plug holes in it and cracks all around the doors . . . But it will still retain some heat I suppose. I should clarify that the receiver only has to vent when we are using it, which is almost all the time when we are home, we like to listen to music a lot. So that was the big joke, we got the TV armoire to close off the TV, but now it has to be open all the time for the receiver. SO said, "Well not ALL the time" which is true. When we are not home or sleeping, the doors of the armoire can be closed. And they are nice wood doors too, they look good closed, that is the whole point of having a TV armoire. Yes, someday we may get a flat screen, but right now his high-end square TV is working well, and I THOUGHT the armoire which he got for 30 bucks used, was a good decorating solution. Back to the drawing board. There may be a fix for my record player not jibing with his receiver. His receiver doesn't have a specific plug for "phono." Not sure the science of it all, will have to investigate. I wanted to go back to using my nice receiver in the family room, but it doesn't have the "power" for his five speaker system, with the four speakers and sub woofer.

Also, my turntable has a short cord, so it can't be hooked up to a receiver that is very far away from it. So we have to solve both problems. One would be to move the receiver out of the TV armoire (solving the plug issue and the venting issue, but not the connectivity one) but we are also looking to find out if we can find a longer connection for the record player. Again, not sure about the science on that. It's not a plug between the record player and receiver, it is a specific connector. I'm sure it could all be fixed up, but these days folks just throw out perfectly fine components because they can't be fixed or adjusted. I'm not down with that. SO also has a cheapie digital record player, (one that translates records to digital formats). We might be able to get that one to connect, but the sound quality would not be as good as my nice record player.

We're looking to compromise, but sometimes it is difficult because SO is not very flexible. He's not "rigid" just conservative in what he is willing to experiment with. If he doesn't "get" what the issue is, he loses patience. For someone not sensitive to the effect all that equipment has on the atmosphere, the "recording studio" look is pleasing! Same with my books and decorative tchotchkes, I realize that to me they look pleasing but to some others they would read, "unnecessary clutter." He's not being adamant about his needs over mine, but it's frustrating because it just isn't an easy fix.

Pink, you can buy special extension cords for electronics. I have one in the bedroom and it runs about 15 feet under the rug.

However, I would have a very serious sit down with your boyfriend. You're already unhappy, and he has basically taken over YOUR home. That's not fair because you will also lose being "house proud" and all you've looked forward to doing.

If he spends a great deal of time listening to music in the living room, he's basically taken over the main room of the house. Especially if you want to watch TV or read in the LR.

If you can afford it, I'd sell everything and buy something smaller and still powerful. And pleasing on the eye's. :) Prices have really come down on all of it.

For a happy future with him, you all need to meet halfway, or he needs to stay at his place. :)

I have audiophile DH but he's not an introvert and doesn't spend all his time listening to music. He's pretty easy going but he's very particular about his sound. Our living room is really a listening room and everything in the room is positioned for optimum listening. We have cut holes in the back of our armoire for venting. Actually he hacked some unsightly holes in what is a lovely expensive piece of furniture which irritated me but I got over it. DH and I are different in many ways and have learned to compromise over our 39 years of marriage.

Oakley, the way I see it is we are creating OUR home together. It's going to work out, it's just frustrating. I already have the guest bedroom as my retreat and I've taken over the master bedroom for my office storage and extra things for the house, so our current set up will have to do until I can get through that mountain of things. SO is being patient on that. In the meantime we are using the second bedroom in this three bedroom house as our bedroom, which is also small. One compromise would be for me to put my records and stereo in the small guest bedroom. It already houses my books and most of my clothes. That's my "babe cave." That would involve me moving a lot of my books. Oh, and it's the family room that we both want to be for listening to music--together! I just don't want the whole room to read "audio components." I also have a sitting room that is full of my books and mom and my doll collection. SO's space is actually quite minimal. Last night after I pitched a fit about the record player in the bedroom, SO emptied out a whole cabinet for me to put my clothes in. And he rightly pointed out that when I move the filing cabinets out of the bedroom closet, we'll have a whole lot more room. I am the guilty party here mostly! SO even said last night that he was the one who needed to compromise, since it was "my house." I'm looking for creative ways to mesh audio components, because we both deserve to be at least somewhat satisfied.

Basically the whole house is taken over by my stuff and my family's stuff. It's actually the opposite problem, I need to figure out a way to make room for his stuff and his needs so he can also be comfortable in our home and the creativity issue is that we can't afford to buy new things and even if we could, it would be a waste when we have so many high end good things already. I'd rather spend the money on getting rid of the 90's blue carpet and replacing it with wood floors. One thing SO and I are in perfect agreement on, our love of wood floors. And he's an installer!!

Edited to add that I'm wondering if there is some gizmo that ups the power of an amplifier. I can't remember how many watts mine is, maybe 35? I'll have to check. Also maybe there is a gizmo that can make my turntable compatible with his amplifier. They are different generations. I just noticed there is an Electronics forum on GW too. Maybe someone there knows. Anyway, I find it very interesting to hear how you all have dealt with these issues. Cool.

Sounds like you have too much stuff. And that if you're already pitching a fit it could be tough times ahead.

I just joke about the fits. That was the reason for the sarcastic title of this post, entirely a first-world problem, me channeling my best Joan Crawford, "No turntables in the bedroom!!" My bark is WAY worse than my bite. SO and I have been together for six years, lived together VERY HAPPILY for 2.5 before, he is used to me.

There comes a time in life where it becomes healthier to let go of things than to hang on to them. Perhaps if you could discipline yourself to decide why you have so many things and what could be useful to someone else as you are not using it. I know this sounds harsh but people matter more than things, easy as that. If you could cull out the things that are not being used and sell them on Craigslist or a FB yard sale page, you'd gain rather than lose as the result would be money coming in to allow you to experience the vision you have. This could be you compromising. Relationships aren't 50/50, they are 100/100. In addition you may be able to find a wider piece that will hold everything and sell the present one. Be creative and willing to let go. I wish you well.

For an audiophile there is no compromise when it comes to the perfect placement of the equipment ... there is no consideration at all for how it affects the look or function of the room.

You might want to check the AVS forum.
http://www.avsforum.com/forum/88-audio/

Early in our marriage, dh put his uniforms in the coat closet. I was befuddled, where would we keep coats? Where would we hang up guest coats? An argument ensued. Eventually he put his uniforms in the bedroom closet. But nearly twenty years later, he still thinks his uniforms should have gone in the coat closet.

So you have my sympathies. And confidence that you will work it out one way or another.

My DH moved into the 2br dream house I bought before meeting him. I love Spanish Eclectic. He loves mid century. I lived alone at least 15 years and he lived alone for ten.

My dog slept in the bed. He never had pets.

He got to keep his coffee and side table, which he loved. I sold the one I loved.

I kept the home office and his computer got stuck in the living area.

His clothes ended up split between my office closet and a dresser of mine in the bedroom.

Now fast forward ten years and we've added another room and bathroom. We each have our own offices and bathrooms.

He keeps all his coffee and lunch cr@p all over the kitchen counters. I dry my bras on doorknobs. The dog sleeps in her own bed.

You work it out. But in our culture, the biggest sacrifice for men is to make that move into your home.

I definitely get what you're saying. What bothered me is how you said it's hard to decorate around. Since you're on a decor board, I know first hand how aggravating that must be! lol.

When we remodeled we also built a new living room/family room/whatever. One day I came home and saw a little shelf/corbel about 10" wide, on all four walls. The room is large but I still had a minor meltdown and asked WTH did they do? Well, DH is also an audiophile and insisted he needed his speakers (they're small but powerful) up on each wall.

Well, at least he had them painted. :) Here's a picture of one of the shelves taken quite a while ago. It's on the right side of the window.

Okly those shelves are so cute! Like you said, at least they match the wall color! Yes, this decorating around equipment is frustrating. Especially equipment that you use all the time, so that the storage has to be not only attractive but highly functional. Seems like anyone can pull off an attractive dining room or living room, but a media room or sewing room . . . It doesn't help that our house is small. It's a great house for retiring downsizers, but it seriously lacks storage. Our last house was tiny also, but had a huge finished basement which was perfect for storing things we used on a regular basis but didn't want sitting out in the open when not in use to take up valuable space in the main living areas.

Whoa, thanks for the link Chispa! I better not tell SO about it though, or my family room will never see the end of it! ;)

As far as letting go of things, I actually do some of that every day. SO and I are committed to getting rid of as much of our things as we can. We anticipate in a couple of years we will move too. Right now SO needs to get settled in a new job and we need to figure out how and where we will retire. We're taking a first pass at the worst of it and then probably a second or third pass as time goes by and we settle in to what our stable life together might be like. Neither of us has had that luxury for a LONG time, moving for work and having long commutes. We are supporting each other in doing this.

I know the first-world solution would be to get rid of all our mismatched stereo equipment and get new stuff, but both of us don't like the waste aspect of that, or the cost. My problem-solver SO, (PSSO) already called the company that makes his receiver to find out why it didn't work with my turntable. Apparently we need something called a "pre-amp" to plug the turntable in to, which would also solve the problem of the connecting cord to the turntable being so short. I'm wondering if we could get something that would also allow his android phone to connect to the receiver, he has a lot of songs on it.

As for venting, the TV armoire has a huge hole in the back already, like at least 18" square, for venting the TV, and several cord holes, plus the sides are not air tight. To me, that seems like enough, but maybe some more holes could be drilled in the back. Theoretically SO could also make decorative mesh panels for the front, he is a cabinet maker . . . but I better not press my luck on that! ;)

Now to figure out how to incorporate his two guitars (one electric, one acoustic) and mine into the room . . .

Pink, that is exactly how we solve our audio visual "problems". In our bedroom (which we share) and our great room, we have antique armoires that my husband outfitted to hold the equipment. The one is the great room is really large and holds a 40" tv plus shelves for stereo equipment, etc. There is room for books, cd's, movies, etc. also. The one in the bedroom he built shelves into and we have a smaller tv in it (32" I think). Below that I have room for extra bedding and pillows. Hubby did cut openings into the backs of the armoires. You will work it out.

Hi l pinkmountain, I see you discovered preamps already. They aren't expensive and just boost your turntable output up for your receiver. A lot of medium age receivers got rid of their internal preamps because who could have seen vinyl coming back? It would also be worth having a look at the back, or bottom, of your turntable to see if it has an internal preamp. On my turntable, for example, there is a switch I can flip to boost the signal right in my record player.

you could also get something as simple as a headphone-to-rca cord for his phone! We keep ours plugged in the back of the receiver with just the headphone male part sticking out so it is easy to plug the phone into. Also great for parties.

if the armoire was only 30 I'd definitely cut another hole in the back. Maybe install a grill if you want to be fancy.