Around here those first weekends are big college graduation weekends and move home from college weekends. Would that be a problem for any important people attending?

It is difficult to pick a weekend. We went through that with DD. You just have to pick one and make it work it seems.

Congrats!

I got married ON Mother's Day. We picked that date as it was both my parents' anniversary as well as my sister's and BIL's (maid of honor and best man), so a bit of a family tradition......it just happened to fall on Mother's Day that year :-) And though it wasn't a huge wedding, everyone invited came except for some of my HD's family that lived too far away.

I wouldn't think the day before would pose much of a problem with scheduling or attendance if that date worked the best for you.

Hard to say about the "move home from college" issue. I do have several friends with kids in college but I don't know how involved they get. For most of them, my wedding would be within a 3 hour drive time.

Edited to add that I don't think any of my friends have kids graduating this year . . .

I say go for May 5. People will make it work or they won't, but you can't control every factor. Second choice would be May 12. Here, both weekends are commencement weekends, so I wouldn't reject the dates for that reason.

Look at weather underground to see May 5 weather history in Philadelphia. Looks pretty good to me.

congrats btw, Cinco De Mayo = A day of celebration which seems appropriate. also it may be Mothers day but that does chg from year to year too

ETA: Sorry, it’s been a rough couple of days and I miss read your dates, I thought it said 5/5 was Mothers Day...oyvay!!!

FYI - May 19 = Prince Harry and Megan Merkle's wedding day.

I wouldn't worry about Mother's Day. We got married the day before 50 years ago. It wasn't a problem then, and it's not been a problem since. Beautiful time for a wedding.

I usually have "lucky numbers" and try to base my decisions on them..:)

Within your dates I'd pick 5, no question..but I realize has nothing to do with anybody's logic

First I was thinking “near Mother’s Day, I don’t know…” but honestly I would definitely go to a wedding on Mother’s Day and I know my mom would too.

About your work function, could you ask around and see how big of a faux pas it would be to miss it? I was just thinking the later in May the more likely the weather will be to be amazing, of course always a crapshoot!

Interestingly I have many British friends.

Well then...it would be bangers not hot dogs.

I was married the week before Mother's Day and the florist told me if it had been the Sat on Mother's Day weekend I'd have never found a florist. We had a small wedding, nothing extravagant, so I was surprised. So, think about what services you might want to use for your day and make sure MD won't interfere.

I'd be worried that some guests wouldn't want to be away from their own mothers on MD; I think the week before would be a safer bet. I loved having a May wedding! Hope it all comes together easily for you.

I'd go for the 12th. I don't see Mother's Day as a big deal. Either they stop and see Mom on the following day or they send flowers and call her. Not a problem. May 5th could still be chilly. As you know, the caveat for gardeners around here is don't plant annuals til after Mother's Day, when the chance of frost is over.

I really don't like that the huge work fundraiser is so close on the heels of your wedding. You can't organize both without working yourself into exhaustion. Get the boss to take it on.

No problem with wedding flowers on Mother's Day (or the day before) - you just need to give the florist or whoever is doing the flowers enough advance notice. Was a non-issue with my MD wedding!

All I can say is that I got married on May 5 in Boston and our weather was freezing rain, about 40 degrees. The weekend before our wedding was in the 80s and I remember saying, ugh, I hope our wedding day isn’t hot like this. I got my wish.

May 5 might be good luck, or maybe rain is good luck (as people told us), since we’ve been married for 27 years.

I wouldn’t hesitate to plan a wedding the day before Mother’s Day, but I know that’s a common college graduation weekend. My son is graduating that weekend and there are actually two days of events, Sat and Sun.

Congrats ahead of time!

Since all these dates seem to have issues, how about September or October?

I have to teach in the fall so it is out. Summer is out for the camp venue.

I would pick the 5th because it has the least amount of interference. The weather is going to do what it's going to do. I wouldn't do it the same day as the work event because, even if someone fills in for you, I'm guessing the couple weeks before the event are busy for you. So really you'd be missing out on the entire prep for the event, or stressing about that and your wedding.

MOther's Day is Sunday--unusual day for a wedding gardengal. For a long time I thought weddings on holidays was presupposes..but really THEY happen every year and family like to gather for them so what the heck. Go for the day before Mother's Day. It will be FINE.

My anniversary is the day after the first day of spring. At first I found it irritating but now I've accepted it. That's the problem is sometimes it's feels like an afterthought. We make it very special though and so the afterthought aspect of it fades away.

I agree it sounds like in your case May 5th is the least pressure.

Too bad summer is out as according to the Chinese calendar it is very good luck to have your wedding on the 8th of August 2018. 8 8 8. Eights are very auspicious numbers :-). All the best.

8 is my lucky number too. We are planning a honeymoon party for our Midwestern friends so maybe we can do that date. Again, depends on venue availability.

You said 5/12 was bad for the fundraiser; what about 5/5 for the fundraiser and 5/19 for the wedding?

Harry and Meghan are getting married on May 19th. Just an aside.

Its a plant sale fundraiser and I think the 5th is pushing it for plants outside due to our unpredictable weather in the Midwest. Plus we grow all the plants in a greenhouse and the 5th is right before my college's commencement - everyone is very busy before the 12th. Not me though, I'm not faculty. I am leaning towards the 5th. Need to check with the preacher though.

I know I'd go for May 12, the day before Mother's Day, because that's exactly what I did 35 years ago next May. We had brunch with our mothers, both widows, the next day before we left on our honeymoon. Our wedding day was actually commencement day at the University and I skipped walking for my LLM, since I'd just walked the year before for my JD. One my MIL'S closest friends was the wife of president of the university system, and I'll never forget how excited she was to have an excuse to miss all of the commencement activities!

I also was married the day before Mother's Day (15 yrs ago next May.) At the time it seemed like a lovely way to honor our mothers. I wound up having a newborn by the time the next Mother's Day rolled around, and in retrospect wondered if I'd committed a terrible faux pas. But no one complained at the time, we had no trouble with florists or other vendors, and as far as I could tell everyone had a great time. My mother died less than 2 yrs later, and it seems comforting that her final two Mother's Days were spent at her only daughter's wedding (which she loved planning) and then with her first grandchild.

Moral of the story for the OP -- go with whichever date works best for you and those closest to you, the universe will make it all right.

I keep coming back to this thread. Ipink, I can't imagine in the calendar of 365 days, you can't find another that will be stress-free for you.

Pick the date that works for YOU. Anytime from May-September, people have weekend commitments. People will do their best to make it.

You don't have to have floral centerpieces and ceremony flowers. You don't even have to have these at all unless you really want them.