Indigo Rose, sorry if you have a health condition that makes you cover up during the summer.

BUT - please don't shame posters in this thread for giving opinions.

I had to look up Breton stripe. :) It’s my favorite stripe. I love it and it’s my go-to summer top, esp. 3/4 sleeves.

I do not wear prints at all, ever. I have no idea if I look good or bad in prints. Mom hated them and trained me well. However, my sister, The Rebel, loves print pants and looks adorable in them.

I don't like backless shoes/mules. I can't stand the flap-flap-flap noise I make in them. I read somewhere once that one of the fashion icons (Diana Vreeland perhaps?) said a woman's shoes should never make noise. Every time I wear mules, I think of that quote.

For two piece suits it's utilitarian in function (easier to move around in a one pice) but also self consciousness about a belly.

Have you tried on a tankini? Benefit of being able to use the bathroom without entirely disrobing ... yet your tummy's covered.

Capris. They make my calves look like Yule logs.

Let's tell the truth: Capris make tall, willowy models look short and frumpy ... so what do they do to us normal women? Most capris hit the leg in the widest spot; not a good choice. Ankle pants or Bermuda shorts -- just a little longer or a little shorter -- are so much better for just about everyone.

Spiky heels! Could never wear them.

Oh, I used to love them. Being not-quite 5' tall, I always loved heels, and -- if I can brag a bit -- I've always had great legs -- still do at 51, and I like short skirts.

Enter middle age and Plantar Fasciitis, and those days are gone.

Oddly enough, ballet flats and cute little flat sandals are also gone.

I have a set of "rules" I've learned through trial and error, and as long as I follow them, I'm fine: small heel, cupped footbed, strong instep support, and -- in the case of sandals -- straps that hit high on the foot.

I like lowcut shirts b/c I have big b@@bs and like airing them. It amuses me to no end that even though middle aged, I still catch men looking, Kinda like a dog doesn’t lose sight of a treat when you move it around.

First time I met my husband: We started work the same day, I was wearing a wrap-around dress and was standing /bending over to sign some paperwork. When I looked up, he had just entered the room and was -- um -- very clearly enjoying the view. And I went out with him anyway.

No colors with any yellow tone near my face unless I want people to ask me if I'm feeling all right.

Ugh, me too.

It's not that I don't like shorts, my legs just don't tan

I'm the same, but I just don't care. I'm the whitest white person on the planet.

The “I don’t care what others think” can be reverse arrogance or be a front for other misgivings, of which only that person knows.

Agree. I think a midpoint attitude is best. Show some pride in your appearance, but don't let it become the be-all, end-all.

Last thought:

I love empire waists, peasant blouses, little white Keds, A-line dresses, skinny jeans, low-rise jeans /jean shorts, V-neck tops (I have the cleavage to pull them off), sleeveless tops, and maxi skirts.

I can't do large prints (I'm too small), and dresses with waists are often bad on me (being short, the top can "blouse" too much). I can't do a dress /skirt with a print around the hem -- I always have to cut off the bottom 6-8". Similarly, being short /short waisted, skirts tend to make me look squatty. I've never been a spaghetti strap girl -- the girls need too much support. I can't pull off shirts with ruffles at the neck or pockets on the front -- makes me too top heavy.

-capris. never could. my ankles are too thin, looks awkward

-high heeled shoes. lately usually 2 inches would be my limit. very rarely 3, if very well made shoe with good support..and I'll need somebody at my arm))

-anything long and bulky, like caftans or such, with lots of drapes. I might like it all I could but I'm too short for that

-very big jewellery. again, am too small for that

-I don't like strange cuts on shoulders etc. some of them are done well, and these I can wear; some just don't look right even on models

-I stopped wearing mid riff tops when in my thirties, and mini skirts and dresses and shorts ..well maybe 3 years ago? Still sad.

-I can't wear many types of sandals/shoes/boots etc because my feet are narrow. I need to choose certain models, brands, etc. Say I love flip flops because they don't slip off.

-anything that feels uncomfortable.

I love turtlenecks, jackets, solids, prints, jeans, leggins, tunics, dresses(shorter, or maxi-depends on my mood. should be couple inches above the knee, or under. Never 37 inches. The least flattering length on me)), masculine, feminine, you name it. I love almost all the colors too. Lilac, I can't probably pull off well anymore..:) Also probably not something neon. lol.

I don't like backless shoes/mules. I can't stand the flap-flap-flap noise I make in them. I read somewhere once that one of the fashion icons (Diana Vreeland perhaps?) said a woman's shoes should never make noise. Every time I wear mules, I think of that quote.

As a big fan of mules, i have noticed this too. But it is the oddest thing; not all mules do this. I don't know what the physics/engineering of it are, but some do and some don't! A few times I have worn a new pair, and only found out after walking across a quiet office that ..... oops. One good reason I keep extra shoes in my office!

What about stilettos on tile, though? I saw the oddest ad in Town and Country today. http://grasswalkers.com/

Kinda runs counter the one golden rule of fashion; looking effortless.

I had some adorable mules but I could not wear them because I couldn't find a way to quiet them down. I thought about gluing them to my feet with toupee tape (I use it for all sorts of things) but I wasn't sure it could stand the stress.

When I was trying to track down the quote about shoes and noise, I ran across this:

They are tips to put on your stilettos to quiet the clack-clack-clack.

The "grass walkers" look like a terrific idea, but certainly not effortless. I've wondered what happens if you don't lift your heel high enough. Would the little disk get caught under the turf causing the wearer to stumble? That's what would happen to me!

Before stiletto heel protectors were available, I had a friend who had a lovely old home. It had a parterre garden with oyster shell paths. The paths tore up the leather on the women's heels at the first party she gave. The home was an historic structure and she was required to keep the oyster shell paths. For the second party, she rented artificial turf runners from the funeral home to lay over the paths!

Yellow.

Slacks with cuffs.

Open toe boots. That's just wrong.

Low-cut tops that accentuate the lack of cleavage.

Big flowery prints below the waist.

Birkenstocks.

Wool.

Turtlenecks.

Hats.

Maddielee, I am dumbfounded that you consider my post shaming for saying I feel sad (and shamed) after reading that Bossy wrote she was "temporarily blinded" by seeing a woman's "flowing arm fat" in public. I am stunned.

D_gw, thank you.

Not to be too irreverent, and definitely not to offend, by I kinda wish Pal or Lars would comment on this thread.

Indigo, I don't think the long dress comment was meant to be offensive, it was simply an expression of one person's preferences. There are many high fashion examples of summer maxis. My teen DDs are fans, too.

As far as the issue of body shaming others and oneself, I agree that is something we all need to fight. It is unkind and unfair.

I will say though, that I like to look "nice". And part of what that means is something internalized and part of it was most certainly imprinted on me by our culture. Be that as it may, I don't even like to laze around in sweats and no makeup. I don't like seeing myself in the mirror that way. Even if I am home alone, I will put on something a bit nicer and at least put on a little lip gloss and blush. It makes me happier.

I cannot wear most dresses with built in waists, as I am long waisted.

Finding comfortable jeans is a struggle, so I buy multiples when I find the right pair.

I cannot wear shoes with any platform to them. I hold myself strangely when I wear them and it hurts my lower back. I cannot wear heels higher than 3" or shoes with a pointy toe box. And Birkenstocks hurt my knees. These restrictions plus my Sasquatch sized feet make shoe shopping pure joy.

I have cut down on the amount of black I wear.

No thongs, ever, ever, ever. I get uncomfortable just thinking about them.

I dress for myself and am comfortable when I feel pulled together. I am miserable if I look slovenly.

Loving this thread with my morning coffee :). To those of us who have white, pasty legs--Jergens Glow with Bronzer. It takes the edge off the whiteness and it doesn't stink.

Mntn- it was the arm fat comment.

bossyvossy, the tone of your post offended me too, and I don't even wear long sundresses, so I have to ask: why is wearing what you want and not caring what other think "reverse arrogance"?

Guess I'm not going to be able to agree that not caring what other people think of how one looks is any form of arrogance or a front for other misgivings.

Personally, it has taken years of self-examination to arrive at a point where I am less worried about this sort of thing than I was when I was younger. I think it is a step forward in my own enlightenment. I am, however, open to other ideas. Where does this idea come from? Some references and empirical evidence would be useful.

Anyway...forgot to say I can't wear shoes with and sort of heel. Never could.

Prints...I have tried but they always make my face look too "complicated", if that makes any sense at all.

This post has been fun, for the most part. Oh, and I love long flowy dresses in the summer or any other time. I think they look so beautiful and serene. Once a hippie, always a hippie.

I think we are all sensitive to parts of our body-- and when we talk harshly about ourselves or even others, we don't take into consideration how others who are equally or more sensitive to the same "hear" our words. I would hope that we don't speak to each other that way--- or see our friends in that light-- but we're all different, I suppose. I think harsh words aren't reserved for those overweight. I've heard women refer to others who are thin as "stick legs" or "chicken legs".. shaped like a boy, etc.

So all this is to say that I am sure no one meant to hurt feelings.

While I am critical of my own body-- I've started to care less about what others think. I had a lot of years to work on it :) I have always been "bigger". Large bones, muscular build, broad shoulders. If only I'd accepted that when I was young, toned and healthier. I did some crazy diets to lose weight -- only to end up looking terrible. We aren't all blonde, we aren't all blue eyed, we aren't all skinny. There are a lot of reasons I gained weight-- some of them in my power, some not. The comments that really upset me are those that we can all be thin if only we eat right and exercise. Not all people who are overweight eat junk or eat large quantities. Again, I've had to learn to accept these comments and recognize that while there are always people who will sit back and judge others, the majority do not wish to hurt feelings. When my feelings ARE hurt these days, it's generally because someone has hit on something that I am struggling with already. It's MY problem as much as it is theirs.

Be good to yourself, Indigo.. be careful about what comments you internalize. I am pretty sure that you've given them much higher value than the person who said them in passing.

I DO wear long flowy dresses in summer-- I have since my teens and I won't ever stop. I love the feel of them, I love the look of them and love the ease.

I won't wear red

I am very selective about cold shoulder tops. Not all cuts are the same.

I won't wear anything that I deem for an "older woman" (despite the fact that I am one).

I won't wear short skirts -- and never did.

pretty much anything else is game if it looks good, fits well and pulls together with other elements of my wardrobe. In the privacy of my home, I am good with any 2 of the 3.

Indigo, sorry if my comment about shaming added to your hurt.

I also have flabby upper arms, so I know that some clothing will not be the best pick for me. It's all about wearing what we are comfortable with wearing.

Some beautiful thoughts beautifully expressed in this thread.

For me, getting to the point where I can embrace the attitude of "I don't care what others think" does not mean I'm flaunting social conventions in public. It means I can step out without worrying others are judging me for not looking perfect in whatever clothes I'm wearing. Most of us want to look "nice" when we're out and about but some of us obsess over what "nice" means and that's energy draining.

Indigo, I'm so sorry you were hurt by comments in this thread.

No stripes, neither direction, just don't like the look. No capris, I am very short (5ft) and have huge calves/ankles (cankles), no shorts, just too chubby for them. No c-s tops, I don't have nice shoulders. No red (fair skinned redhead here). No leggings, my legs look like sausages in them...yuk! No long tailed blouses or tops, from the back-side I literally look like my legs are missing. No rolled, button sleeved blouses (camp shirts?) they are for ladies much older than me, IMO. Oh, I could go on & on but...

I’m in my forties and wear 2-piece bathing suits bc I am short and my stomach is flat but hips are, you know, full...so the 2 piece accentuates the good while distracting from the not so good, lol. Funny story, though...I took a hiatus from them while my children were very young bc when my oldest was 6 months old, we were emerging from the water and I was holding him on my hip. His sweet little foot got CAUGHT in my BOTTOMS and there was a wardrobe malfunction of epic proportions! Thankfully it was a weekday and the club was mostly women...but I went one piece shopping the next day!

i literally cannot wear Bermuda length shorts with my short legs. I look awful. I look better in shorter skirts and shorts. I also never buy boxy shirts...I need everything more fitted, again bc I am small. And I wish desperately that I felt comfortable wearing “athleisure” 24/7 like some of my friends do, but I feel like an idiot unless I am in the middle of the actual exercise. I even hate running to the store in my tennis clothes...I feel like such a cliche, lol!!

I'll never really get the arm phobia thing. Over the years of being on this forum I have heard many times how people won't wear this or that because it shows the arm. It's an arm for crying out loud, not a boob or butt. Really, I'm not trying to belittle that phobia or belittle ones desire to look their personal best.. but, it's an arm. I live in Florida and simply can not imagine wearing sleeves of any kind when it's very hot out. If a person is nicely put together does anyone really focus on the ARM?

I have the right to hate my own toes, but thankfully it doesn't keep me up at night.

Don’t wear-

Turtlenecks, have never liked them even as a child, feel strangled.

High heels or other uncomfortable shoes. Just not suffering.

Wool, even better wools make me itch.

Two piece swimsuits, I feel uncomfortable in them. Was not even that comfortable in them when I was 19 and weighed 103 pounds.

Jumpsuits - Cute but not worth the struggle in the bathroom.

Crew necks - do not work with my face shape, adds 10 years. Although there are some rare exceptions. V or scoop necks are my go to.

High rise pants - I am short waisted, just awful on me.

Bermuda Shorts - Make me feel old, same with short shorts for a different reason. Wear a medium length.

Long sleeves - These are more a rarely wear. Especially bell style, I always seem to get them into something.

Prints - This is not a don’t wear, it’s that I have a hard time finding any that don’t seem like they are for someone old. So many times they look great on hanger, try them on the top will remind me of my mother-in-law who is 80.

The list could go on, I have become very picky. While it saves me money, it can be a problem. Easter is a few days away and nothing to wear despite looking for the last few weeks.

I never, ever wear yellow, and I don't like anything off the shoulder or the cold shoulder look. I generally prefer 2 piece swimsuits, but I normally don't wear what I consider a bikini. All 2 piece swimsuits are not created equal....there's a huge range and variation of coverage. I do have a few "bikinis" I'll wear if I'm in the right situation, but they're definitely the more modest version of a bikini.

Bonnie-Ann, I have those pants. :) Or at least a version of them. Mine are from Old Navy and are maybe not quite as flared at the bottom. I bought them last year and wore them lots.

Indigo, half of your post was about dresses, to which i responded. I agree with you the arm comment was unfortunate. The post is supposed to be about what we each feel we "can't" wear. Not about calling out strangers with judgments.

square necklines. My jaw is square, my hips are square and my shoulders broad for my frame so to add the square neckline is unfortunate!

I (almost) don't wear pants. I own three pairs: a black pair for choir performances, gray sweats that I wear for yard work, and a dual-purpose pair of fleecy disco pants (don't ask). I'm very pear-shaped and finding pants that fit is such a trial and time-sink that I just don't do it. To be clear, I don't go around with no bottoms (although I reminded that I did have a dream like that last night), I wear skirts or dresses.

Long, full skirts, because if I wear them to work they get caught in the wheels of my roller chair and the skirt tears. Narrower long skirts are fine.

Yellow, orange, and olive green, pretty much all the fall colors, are not at all flattering on me.

Black near my face. I once had a badge picture taken in a black shirt and I looked like death warmed over. Actually, I exaggerated. I have one black shirt that I will only wear if I have a colorful necklace, scarf, or jacket.

B-width shoes. Life is too short to wear shoes that don't fit, even if that is all the world wants to sell you.

https://www.gardenweb.com/discussions/5220715/capris?n=2

I avoid anything gauzy or boho, though I love the style. It is just wildly unflattering on me.

Button downs give me grief. I have narrow shoulders and a big chest and am 30 pounds overweight and most of it is in my belly and none of this makes these shirts work for me. A crisp white blouse is so lovely, but I feel like I'm being strangled and my chesticles are pouring out. I've tried the tailoring route but it still isn't happening.

Florals are also not my friend. I feel like they wear me.

Strapless. Never.

Lots of sandles are a no go because I have smallish hobbit feet and my pinky toes hang off like they are growing off the side of my foot. Or they pop out between straps. Do I even need them? More than once I've considered nipping them off with some garden sheers.

Maxis are a challenge, but when I find one that works on me, I buy it as fast as I can. I love heels, jeans and when I'm at the lake or home alone I put together the most unattractive and ungodly creations and I find it delightful.

LOL, Lobby.

Lots of things we can't wear on our lists aren't there?! I don't consciously feel like a self-hater although I suppose my own fashion don'ts are a combination of physical and mental negatives. I physically hate the feeling of jeans slicing into my crotch, not to mention how heavy and hot they are and mentally I feel silly with fabric ballooning off my flat butt :).

I actually don't really wear any 'real' pants any more. I finally found a style of Macy's leggings that are stretchy including with a flexible waistband, have enough fabric in the legs to be work appropriate and look nice and put together. I bought about 8 pairs in basic colors and I just rotate them with tops that cover my abominable abdominals. Add a pair of flats and I"m dressed for the day!

I've never owned or worn a pair of stilettos and even in my most professional attire days I was a low heel gal. Again combination of physical and mental: I tend to be clumsy and not good on spatial awareness so falling is honestly an issue. And I have extraordinarily narrow ankles-I'm very self conscious about them. Now I only wear the aforementioned flats to work and flip flops otherwise. Years ago I found a style of shorts and, yep, bought a bunch of pairs that I wear all the time.

As for colors I generally stay with favored colors in everything including home decor and clothes so that's sort of a no brainer for me. Wouldn't want to paint my walls red, don't own any red clothes.

My corollary fashion tip or perhaps I should say it's my 'I CAN wear that-yowza' is buying up a large supply of whatever I find that I like, fits well and makes me feel like I look good. I've definitely learned as I've aged that if I like it I should buy lots of it, so that's what I do now with most of what I wear.

Mntn, I don't think I've ever not agreed with you until now. "The post is supposed to be about what we each feel we "can't" wear. Not for calling out strangers with judgments." Since when has there ever been a rigid adherence to topics here? So someone else can make an offensive comment, and I'm the one who commits a faux pas to say how it made me feel? Excuse me? And to be clear, I am not referring to dresses. Which was only the first part of my post, it may not have been clear the way I wrote it but all the rest was about my response to reading an ugly comment about arm fat. I'm sorry if you feel I'm the one who has been inappropriate.

Because I don't feel good about any of this I won't comment further.

Indigo,

I think you misunderstood my latest post. I think we agree. Although it is fine if we don't of course!

To wit, my post:

Indigo, half of your post was about dresses, to which i responded. I agree with you the arm comment was unfortunate. The post is supposed to be about what we each feel we "can't" wear. Not about calling out strangers with judgments.

I think you misunderstood the part i bolded. The person who was calling out a stranger with a judgment was not you. It was the poster who maligned some total stranger she saw at WM.

I don't want to go on and on about it, it is not capital murder. We all say things that are catty. But I did want to recognize your point, Indigo.

Abominable abdominals. Best description (for me, personally) ever.

Yes, that’s a good new phrase. I’m adding “chesticles” to my vocabulary too.

Ankle length pants just look like I'm wearing pants that are too short. Never work for me. Plus, they look awful with socks and who wants to have their ankles exposed when it's 35 degrees outside?

Never wear bright colors or bold patterns. Like them on others, not on me.

Crew necks are out. Feel like a claustrophobic chicken when I wear them. Almost any other neckline is possible.

No capris - looks like I couldn't find long enough slacks, or I turned the dryer on too high.

No high heels - bad ankles so I wouldn't be able to walk comfortably in them. Or, safely. Actually, my feet now are such that I'm only comfortable in men's running shoes.

I always felt self conscious in two piece swim suits, and would be afraid the bottom part would slip off - swim suits are for swimming in, as I never enjoyed just lollygagging on the beach.

I really dislike the look of those tops where one shoulder is exposed and the other is not. I find myself resisting the urge to straighten them ... do those things have a name?

I love the look of full length skirts, but I trip on them, so I avoid.

No to underwire bras. I'm size A so there was never a perceived need for them.

I don't wear low cut neck lines.

As of December, I now have two jagged scars on my right leg, knee region. I wonder if I will ever wear shorts again; I'd like to when it gets hot out.

I dress for comfort.

I don’t wear strapless because I feel like they will fall down and that makes me uncomfortable. I wouldn’t wear a cold shoulder top because who wants cold shoulders. I’d probably end up putting on a cardigan or shawl.

Flip flops give me blister.

The idea that I can’t wear shorts because my legs are pasty white and scarred I find foreign. Pasty white is cool. It means you never succumbed to the nonsense about laying in the sun. At least that’s what I tell myself. Scars, I got those through life. They are badges. Fire didn’t stop me, a barbed wire fence didn’t stop me, you think pre conceived ideas of fashion are going to stop me. Get outta town.

I remember once my dh and I were going to an event and the LBD I was wearing had cap sleeves. I coincidentally donated platelets that afternoon, the phlebotomist screwed up the site and my entire arm turned into a very dark purple bruise. My mom, who was babysitting our kids, said “well now what are you going to wear?” Say what, is a bruise I earned something to be hidden, to be ashamed of? Not for me.

if someone else’s bruise or scar makes them uncomfortable and they want to cover it up to avoid discussing it, that is there choice.

ETA -

I breastfed my children in publc.

My child is a type 1 diabetic. He checks his blood and does his injections fearlessly in public. He rocks an insulin pump and a continuous glucose monitor on his body while doing everything. If he needs to inject insulin before a restaurant meal he will do it at the table. If that bothers people at our table or other tables I don’t care.

Thank you so much Mntn for clarifying as I was confused and hurt thinking that you were criticizing me. I'm not going to apologize for being a sensitive soul; I always have been, but I've become super sensitive since medical issues have resulted in mobility problems, the reliance at times on a wheelchair and often on others for what I could easily do in the past, significant weight gain, misshapenedness and more. After your post I became the angry kid grabbing my toys and leaving the playground while directing my feelings at you, and for that I apologize. (And to others who were supportive, know that those kindnesses mean a lot.)

I admire your attitude, localeater.

Striving for the Photoshopped ideals media offers us often implies a disdain for our humanity and all the frailties it entails.

I don't usually comment here...but Indigo's post made me want to...I'm sensitive too. I wish I wasn't. I wish I was like others...but I'm not. Those of you who have the ability to let comments roll off your back, I am in awe of. And, no. Sensitivity is not something a person can "work on". And that's sad because a tough skin is required to participate in anything online :(

(I'm taking the scenic route to getting to a point, I promise...)

Because of this, it's difficult for me to wear what I want. Although I applaud and cheer on anyone who can. I WILL tell people who are on the fence about whether they have the guts to get what they like (or are choosing something on the decor side of this place) to absolutely do it!!!

But I can't tell myself that so much. So I won't wear short short sleeves anymore as I'm very self conscious of my arms. My arms are my most recent...droppage...2 years ago I wore a bikini at age 57. It looked rather strange with my long white hair, but my husband thinks I look amazing and sexy so he gave me the confidence. Of course I would only go when it was quieter in the late afternoon :-/ I love that man.

I can't wear all shoes because my feet are like an elephant's.

Some capris I can wear, but I won't wear those that are straight up and down. I prefer these, that I now have to scour the second hand market place for because they don't make them any more...(as is the case with most things that I love)

I won't wear polyester....I don't understand why, when we grow up and move from the juniors department to the missy department, that polyester is the fabric that buyers think we want...

Thank you for this thread...It's given me food for thought about the difference in "can't" and "won't".

Localeater - My daughter has Type 1 Diabetes too and I will admit the first month or two I was quite self conscious about all the testing in public and the shots, even though I never let on to her. After a few months it was the norm. She also moved from shots to a pump and thankfully, she has no self consciousness about it all. And yes, I wish I could say that about myself with my body and what I wear.

I like this thread. One can't just constantly think (or well I can, unfortunately, but I really want to think of something else for a change) of life and death.

I remember being at a baby shower. Last year. One older lady, a friend of the mother in law of my acquiantance who invited me, she was on the bigger side..probably in her late sixties, i wouldn't know? She was very boldly dressed, with tight sleeveess top, and some huge flower in her hair, and..I don't know, she behaved like a beautiful woman who doesn't give a damn she's not 20 or 30 anymore, so I looked at her with sort of fascnation, I never thought "I'd tone it down if I were you"-I thought "how cool is it, to be so full of life" (great I'm at life thing again. lol). she didn't look like she was trying too hard to be young. She just looked natural. It takes a certain person to pull it off I suppose.

Another thing that comes to mind. Several years ago I went to do my volunteering then to the gym that was in the same building, then to the big outdoor pool. And I was tired and exausted by that time, I started feeling not well. So at some point I just put myself down o one of these chaise longs. And everything was spinning a bit, I was waiting until I get better and can leave. And there were several men in the pool..they kinda were looking at me, because it was a day time, and not a lot to look at:) At other time, I might become very conscious. But then, I really didn't care. I remember because a thought then crossed my mind "There's certain bliss in this state, of feeling out of it, being in other dimension, not caring at all"

I realize I described two really different types of not caring..:) I prefer first of course

But there is strange freedom in both

I do care, well, most of the time. Depending on a day, on a mood, etc. And it's changing so fast-or maybe time goes faster now too. One needs to be really fast in adjusting himself to things. It's not very easy. Then I remember I was so sensitive about my stretch marks when I was 23-and it's funny to me now. Took me a year, they faded, and I didn't care anymore. How many years will take me know? I don't know. My friends would answer me" doesn't matter how many years. dear-all of them years are yours".

Sadly the list is long and I am at the age where I want to wear less clothes, not more yet I am moving into the area where I need to wear turtlenecks for that freckly neck/chest and all I want to wear is tank tops. I am finding compromises.

I want to look nice and pulled together but it seems to be a lot of work sometimes.

I talked to my husband about this thread. I asked if there was something he wont wear. His response was, "yeah all that stuff you won't let me wear." Hmmm, this would be things like grey champion athletic shorts with paint stains in at least 4 colors and broken elastic. I guess he will wear anything.

I know I am older, I know my skin, my body is not perfect. It is strong and fit. I will tell myself, in my moments of self-doubt that I am clean and well groomed and my clothes are clean and well pressed. I try to let that be enough.

I think there is a lifetime of koolaid drinking involved for those who will not wear certain things because it compromises their idea of what their body 'should' look like. I'm not judging that, we see the world the way we have been taught to see it.

Men for instance will judge that certain things look better on younger people, and without realizing, if we are not careful. we absorb as our own their concept of 'better'. Heck, they judge breasts and other parts too, and the winner gets to be in Playboy or some such. And then women save for years in order to buy globs of stuff surgically implanted in their chest so they have 'better' breasts.

I've come to a point though, that I will admit certain comfortable items may not be the height of fashion, but I'm going to wear them anyway.

April I have a family member who does that. Very heavy set extremely unselfconscious about it, and dresses boldly. I think to myself when I see her that she's just showing her larger-than-life personality with the body she's in. It's her being herself.

I'm a little late to this thread but find my list of things I won't wear is getting longer. All due to my own percieved comfort level.

Been on the list:

• Sleeveless garments
• Cold shoulder, off the shoulder
• Full skirted garments
• Capri pants that hit mid-calf - ankle pants much better for me
• Bikini (although on a deserted beach I might - so much more comfortable!)
• Big prints
• Going on the won't/can't wear list:

• Skinny jeans
• Stilletto heels
• Flowy/drapey garments
• At 62, I feel I need/want to transition into slightly more conservative/tailored versions of what I've worn most of my life. A straight slim leg jean vs. skinny, a kitten heel or lower wedge vs. platform, tops/dresses that skim the body vs. loose or tight.
• Like most of you, how I feel in clothes is the most important factor. A gf and I were shopping once and both fell in love with a gorgeous black and white print jacket in a boutique. They only had one in our size and the fit was great and she reluctantly let me score it. Fast forward, I wore said jacket with a black shell and pencil skirt for a board presentation at work and thought I looked good. As the day progressed, I felt more and more uncomfortable with my gorgeous print jacket - told my friend that I felt I should be in cirque du soleil. Too much for me no matter how lovely the jacket's style and fit. The next day my friend became the proud owner of said jacket. She was thrilled and wore it with confidence!

I wear orthotics in my shoes- so no high heels or uncomfortable shoes. I've never worn a bikini. I avoid sleeveless or very short sleeves since I have loose skin on my upper arms(a product of losing over 50 pounds).

As for those cold shoulder tops- I'm not sure about them but I own 2 of them. They cover the bad part of my upper arms but show the good part!