As long as you keep in mind all the conventional (and very true) wisdom about best laid plans etc-pursue whatever has most chance to make you comfortable and the happiest

To be sincere-I'd also feel apologetic about house more that double sized than any place I ever lived, unless I had twice as many kids too..but the truth is I spend minimum half of my life feeling apologetic just about anything..in this perspective, a house would be one of my least worries lol.

Well, I learned from my mother to not downsize, but of course it depends on one’s wants/needs and lifestyle. She and my dad retired to an over 55 community and went from a small four bedroom house in SoCal to an even smaller two bedroom house in Vegas. It was really like a two bedroom apartment. My mother loved to entertain but there was no room! And we had to stay at a hotel when we visited. My mother really regretted buying that model.

We just moved to our retirement home and it is bigger than the house we raised the kids in. We wanted space to entertain and we didn’t want to be on top of each other all the time like my parents were in that tiny house. I love the space and high ceilings. The master/bath is on the first floor but DH’s getaway is the loft...there is also a bedroom and bath up there. Two more bedrooms and a bath on the main floor. Plenty of space when the kids visit.

My brother and SIL have decided to stay put in their large two story home. Again, plenty of space when the kids and grands visit. They have already looked into chair lifts for when they can no longer do stairs, even though that’s a long way off.

So I say go for your big house and enjoy the space. The only downside I can see to a larger house is the extra cleaning involved, but we’re retired and still physically able to do it.

Joanie - your new home sounds so much like the one we moved to last fall - I'm glad to hear how much you love it. Our second floor has a loft and a full bath and guest room. DH has taken over the loft for his own space and an added bonus is he likes the bathroom up there better too! The first floor has the master BR and Bath, a guest room, another bath, living room/dining room, kitchen with large eating area and a huge family room. I love the 9' ceilings and the flow of the rooms. Everything is so darn convenient. Although we did downsize significantly (from 4100 to 2300 sq ft) I'm enjoying this layout so much more.

Jojoco - there are no guarantees so accept all the enjoyment you can squeeze into life without feeling any guilt. And if that means a home that gives you pleasure now then pursue it!

And please let us know when you become a Philly girl so that we can schedule a welcoming lunch. I'll even travel to the much-dreaded KOP .

Maire

I'd say go for it. We sold a house that we enjoyed, thinking that it was time to be closer to our kids and grands and DH wanted more land. We ended up with the house with more land and he basically got what he wanted but I'd sell it in a heartbeat and get something different. We went from 4 bedrooms to 3 -all upstairs and a laundry room in the basement (which I definitely did not want) and an ok house but nothing special. I was interested in a 55+ community with a neighborhood feel - didn't get that either. We're in a good location which is a plus. Neighbors on either side introduced themselves when we moved in last Sept and we see the ones on one side when he mows and literally have not caught sight of the people on the other side and really no others either. I figure we'll be here until the steps defeat one of us and then who knows. At this point, I'd rather be back in my old house.

Buy the house that makes your heart sing and doesn't make your wallet cry. We live in a house that's a bit big for us, but is the perfect size when we host visitors. I do want to downsize because I want less maintenance, but we probably won't do so until my parents can no longer travel, as they are our most frequent visitors.

Don't feel apologetic or apologize : ) . We've just done something similar, building a larger house on our farm, the farmhouse that should have been here instead of the small bungalow we've lived in for the past 25 years. The new house is also two stories -- my husband's idea -- so I told him at the start that we needed a room we could turn into a bedroom (it's the office now), and a full bathroom with walk-in shower rather than powder room.

It has much larger kitchen and dining room, and now that our kids are older (early twenties and late teens, the younger two still live at home and the older one is back and forth), we have more time for entertaining and guests. We've been in for less than a month now and are all already enjoying this so much more.

No, you are definitely not crazy. There is so much talk about downsizing that I think it has become a trend or cliche. I am about 10 years older than you, so it is a topic of conversation among some of my older friends- 20 years your senior.

You should not feel guilty. When you are ready for a small place, you will know. As long as you can do the upkeep and manage to live comfortably, you will be fine. My mother moved from a 3 bedroom house to a two bedroom house in a retirement community when she and my father were in their 80's. We lived abut 4 hours apart then and having the 2nd bedroom made it easy to visit. In her 90's, my mother moved to a one bedroom apartment closer to me.

I have two rather large houses- one on two acres which takes lots of upkeep which DH and I enjoy. There is a cottage there also. So you could say I have 3 houses.

You are right on in thinking that your new house should be a great place for the kids to come. Most of my kids live nearby and one about 5 hours away. They visit and grands sleep over at both houses often. They all spend many weekends at the second house which has all the amenities of a vacation home. On occasion, I co-host their friends. DH and I love that the vacation house is such a draw to keep the family close. It can be hectic but very rewarding and fun.

At the main house, my daughters and their families have been able to stay with us when their floors were being done and when their house sold but the new house was not ready. Next week one daughter is getting a new kitchen. It is nice to be able to help out and provide a comfortable option during the remodeling. I love to be able to help out.

We have a ball at both places.

I am mindful not to accumulate stuff just because I have the space. I do not want to create an overwhelming mess when the time comes to downsize or if something unforeseen occurs. Browsing antique stores has shifted from buying for me to accompanying my daughters and buying for them.

Overall go with your gut, live where you want, buy the house you love. I know you will create a beautiful comfortable home for your husband and kids.

I upsized from a condo to a single family home at age 59, just when everyone was considering downsizing. Never been happier. Do what pleases you; life is short!

No need to apologize as far as I'm concerned. We bought a different primary residence and second home in 2015 and neither was a downsize. They're about 3500-4000 square feet and there are just two of us and three cats - no large dogs, no kids, no grandkids. These places were just in the right location and had the features we wanted including first floor master, laundry, etc. which were important to us as we do plan to stay in these places until we're no longer able to. Plus I just like the convenience of having what you need on the main floor though we do have our big TV in the lower walkout level of each place (it could be moved if we were no longer good to go down the stairs).

We use all of our main house which is the smaller of the two. The guest room isn't used every day but I wouldn't be without one. We have a second guest room that mostly holds some special antiques and things I didn't have room for elsewhere and I ended up having to get a foldable bed for that room because of extra guests. I couldn't have accommodated them in my last house.

Our lake home has lots of bedrooms that are only used when we have guests so quite a bit of unused space much of the time. However we loved the home and the location on the lake in the woods so we took the extra space along with it. We do completely fill it up a couple times a year so it is nice to have all the rooms at those times.

I would echo everyone above who has said to choose what works for you and do not feel guilty about any of it! DH and I are both retired and live in the same house I've lived in since it was new in 1980. Raised both daughters here, and now there is just the 2 of us with no animals. It is much larger than we "need" on a daily basis (3800 ft.) but when both daughters come with the 4 grandchildren and then sundry others who drift in because daughters are visiting (one lives 400 miles away; the other 2000) I am very glad to have so much space.

I have thought about the desire to downsize, but all the important things - master bedroom, laundry room - are on the main floor, and it works for us. When it stops working for whatever reason, then I'll think about doing something different.

My parents significantly upsized when they moved recently and they love the size of their new house. That said, they also adopted a dog that is dangerous to children so the grands won't be overnighting until that dog passes away. My dad is now retiring and they are considering moving closer to the grands (now an hour away). They say they want to downsize and have less maintenance but we will see. I really hope they choose a house with a main level master as my mother's mobility will not be great for much longer. If I were moving even at my age (pushing 40) I would try to find a house that could accommodate a main floor master.

No you are not crazy and you shouldn’t feel guilty at all. With your blended family, kids and future grandkids visits are a definite possibility, and you will love having a roomy home for family and friends to enjoy comfortably.

And your own lifestyle is also a consideration. It’s not like you ‘live’ in all the rooms every day, so have the room you want and enjoy.

I think you can upsize if you are going to have the money and energy to maintain an older home as you age. And adapt it to your mobility issues. There's going to come a certain point where you can't maintain it anymore, but could stay there if you are willing and have the resources to pay someone to do it. And I think you should plan for the day when you have to leave, so you can do it on your own terms. I have a friend whose parents shopped around for their assisted living facility before they needed it, but they anticipated that they would need it soon, and now that they do, they have the resources already in place that they need. Of course the husband of that couple managed nursing homes for a living, so he was well versed in both what to do, and what could happen if you failed to prepare. I think the key is just facing facts, not any particular age related thing. If you have the time and money and desire for a big place, go for it. My aunt and uncle did when they were about your/our age. Had a lot of wonderful years in that place. I think they are going to leave the job of "downsizing" to their kids. I know my mom did . . .

I'm very fit - but recently tore some ligaments while exercising which meant staying off my foot that was in a cast so needing a first floor master isn't necessarily an age thing. I think anybody should consider whether the house could work for those circumstances as well when purchasing, however being older increases the chances of something happening. I had 2 months where stairs were very difficult even though I continued to exercise at the gym during this time. It isn't all about being fit. If the house can be made to work in case something happened then buy it.

The size wouldn't matter to me as long as it fits my needs.

You've already received excellent input, and I really don't have much to add except that I think you should do whatever works for you, and don't feel you must qualify your decisions to anyone who might be so presumptuous as to question your reasoning. When we decided to sell our old house, we were initially looking to downsize into a smaller new home, but circumstances changed and we ended up upsizing to a different new home. We have always been empty nesters (no kids), don't have guests or entertain often, but we still enjoy our large-ish space and find it suits us perfectly. Our master is downstairs, but I don't think I'd let an upstairs master sway me if I didn't have the concern of mobility issues. Many elderly folks are able to navigate stairs just fine; in fact, that's something that can help keep folks fit and limber as they age.

I agree with Lyfia. When we built our home 20+ years ago, we knew we wanted one level (not counting our basement - 1 level living space). It's just the two of us, rarely do we have overnight guests (we are lucky to have both families near). We do enjoy entertaining, and our outdoor spaces were very important to us. I had watched my grandfather, aunt and other relatives deal with either age related mobility or injuries that made steps very hard. We made sure we had an entrance that does not have steps (through our garage) and our other entrances have two steps at the most (only one coming in off the patio). In fact, my brother (as we speak) and his wife are staying with her mother for several weeks while he recovers from foot surgery. They do not have a bedroom downstairs and there is no way he can handle steps right now. He is only 47. One of my best friends had surgery (abdominal) and could not do steps for a few weeks and they did not have a bedroom on the first floor. She had to fix up a make-shift area to sleep in for that time and it was not the most comfortable. But along with steps I will mention bathrooms and ease of getting in there if injured/recouperating/older. My dad (88) is dealing with this and we have had to have some renovations done at his house. But hopefully there is a way you could make this house work for those situations. Because I do think if the house makes you happy, you should go for it. For us, upsizing? I don't think so. We have enough to take care of and we want to take care of our own for as long as we are able. I do have help for big projects, but overall I'm not happy with someone else doing my routine cleaning and hubby does not want someone taking care of the yard. Think about increased heat/air costs, etc. I hope you are able to make it work because it's obvious you love the place! Keep us posted!

I think there is another element here. This is your first home together, and you may want it to be a family home, one with room for your children, rather than a "couple's home". I know some people think one's actual home (size, amenities) does not matter (the same people who say that a hotel is "just a place to sleep") and of course we can make wonderful memories anywhere. But having spaces that are conducive to what you are hoping for does make a difference. You want your children and their SO's to want to visit you, so why not have a space that makes it as pleasant and desirable as possible? True, you cannot truly plan for these things but you can help facilitate them.

Oh plus, home buying is emotional. Go with your gut. You want to live someplace you love coming home to.

mtn-those are excellent points.

Thank you all for your insightful and kind comments. You all said what I was trying to say, but so much more eloquently.

As far as a potential master br on the first floor, I don't see the house we're looking at as being able to convert without either adding on or losing a main living space. I'm okay with that. If circumstances were to change and stairs were an issue, we'd probably move to a ranch, or an apt in NYC. (There is a lower level in the house that could easily become an apartment if necessary, but I'm not entertaining that idea as the best solution. At least not at the moment.)

In the meantime, my house has not been an easy sell. It's been the perfect home for me and my son, but it lacks a master bath and that has been an (almost) fatal flaw. We're expecting an offer today, and once contingencies have been removed, we'll be in a position to make an offer in the Philly area.

Mtn, your point is spot on. This is a fresh start home for my dh and me and I absolutely want my kids to want to visit, spread out, lounge in the kitchen, sleep in...in other words, treat it like their home. This one might just do that.

jo

jojoco - I don't think a master on the first floor is a requirement, but at least a way to live all on one floor if needed as rarely when accidents happen do we have time to plan and unfortunately as we age those small accidents that happens such as twisting an ankle can turn into major injuries. So if there is shower/Bath facilities on the first floor and a room you can sleep in I think that would qualify.

I know a few people who just got at "stair master" when the stairs became an issue. Works for them. I think you can make a lot of things work for you if your mind remains flexible as your life changes. I know people who have loved their big old houses up into their 90's, and others who didn't want to continue to deal with it and got out as soon as the kids flew the coop.

I can see wanting a larger size. I have downsized and miss that 4th bedroom, don't need it often but it's a pain when I do. A real pain. I mentioned above that I would prefer a main floor MB&Bath. My other priorities to encourage visits would be a close proximity to a main highway leading to the city. I mean, lets face it, the spouses might not be as excited to come. Best to have easy access to the city even if not exactly a short drive. Still, fun for all if one can offer zoo's, restaurants, bars, theater, museums, gyms and more. Also, a heated pool is a great lure for vacationers. For me, I'd be lost without some projects and putting my mark on the home. Because of that I would buy something smaller with a better location with plans to expand. I would enjoy planning a main floor MB addition (if the home price was right). I would also be in my element planning a grand outdoor space for grilling, hardscapes and pool. There is a way to have it all and within budget. Maybe I'm the exception though as it seems most want move in ready.

Just a possibility, if you couldn't install a stair lift if needed. My Dad installed a full blown elevator in his house. It was a ranch with a full basement, and he used both levels. The work room and laundry were in the basement. The stairs wouldn't work for a chair lift. He cannibalized part of a closet and some space in the basement and made it work. It wasn't cheap, I think he had $20K in it. But he and his SO both used it for quite a few years, and it enabled him to stay in his house until he died. He was in a motorized wheelchair, and he could do most anything he needed, since he had that elevator.

I think I will throw this out there for all of us to ponder. What is the environmental impact of our homes? It has not come up in this discussion at all. It is not a matter of what we can afford, nor of what we might want, but is something to contemplate in any case. Carbon footprint. Size does matter.

JT, I agree about access to the city for when the kiddo's visit.

100% AGREE Bonnie!!!! "Live simply so other's can simply live" is my motto--but it isn't a popular one with most I know.

Always a good question, Bonnie and something we've tried to be mindful of.

In our case, we've been living in a postwar bungalow for the past 25 years. Where many of our neighbors have opted to tear down their older houses to build new, we continued to live in the house and raise our three kids there. We've kept the house and will remodel it in the next while, because at least two of our three kids (now in their late teens/early 20s) are farming/plan to farm with us, which means in the next 10 years or so we'll go from one family on the farm to at least three. And the plan for us is to switch places with one of the kids in about 15-20 years, leaving the new larger house to a younger family with my husband and me moving back to the smaller bungalow. We plan to rent out the bungalow and the granny suite until family members are ready to move in; affordable housing is in short supply in our area with a college and vocational training school in the area.

We also chose to build our house with many recycled elements, including laminated and steel I-beams from several local stores that have been demolished in the past 10 years; and reclaimed lumber which my husband and his late father had saved over the past 30-40 years from various residential, commercial, and agricultural projects; for example, the wood for our lintels came from the old grandstand at the local fairground.

We built with passive solar in mind, greatly helped by the three-row shelterbelt we planted with the kids over 10 years ago, and also made very good use of insulation; our temperatures range from -40F in the winter to 90F in the summer and we're delighted with both our utility bills and the comfort level in the house. The eavestroughs are set up to collect rainwater, with three large storage tanks in the cistern room (3,750 gallons total) and two tanks outdoors for watering the trees and garden (2,500 gallons total). And then too we've bought very little new in the way of furnishings, other than replacing the kids' old twin-size beds (in storage in case of future grandchildren lol) with queen-size beds, opting instead to use all of our old furniture (which used to be my old furniture, including my old childhood chest of drawers, which has made the journey from NYC to DC to NYC to western Canada!) as well as a number of my late parents' pieces, which we've had in storage on the farm.

And, unlike most of our neighbors, who in addition to their houses have cottages at the lake for summer use and vacation homes in Phoenix in the colder months, we have just the one residence : ) .

I'm sorry I don't have time to read all the responses, because in 3 days we are moving to a 6-bedroom house. From a 4-bedroom house. And two of my three kids are out of the house. The last one will be a senior in HS next year and then will go to college away from home. So yeah, Upsize away! I think most of our friends think we're a bit crazy but we fell in love with the location and style of the house, there are people our age (who we know and like) in the immediate neighborhood, and the house has a big dining room so we can host our kids and their families someday.

In our case, too, this house is a bit of a project, which is kinda fun for DH and me at this stage in our lives. It gives us something to talk about. ;-)

I have been known to say that if times get tough I'll have space to take in boarders.....

I just want to say that while I am not in the same age group, I am in a similar situation of just DH and myself and a dog. While we had different needs, we struggled to find a more moderately sized home that filled our other wants / needs (open floor plan, garage space, etc) and ended up in a 4000 sq ft home. I constantly feel like I have to apologize when people ask how big our house is and it's silly of me. Choose a home that fits what is most important to you and don't worry about whether it's "ok" to upsize. What's ok is living in a house that works for you. And if it doesn't in a few years, it's ok to sell too. You don't need to apologize to anyone for choosing a home that works for you.

Totally agree about the eco footprint and kudo's to you for cycling to work. Enjoy your new home! DD's boyfriend cycles his way around the city and it makes me crazy, but I know he is conscientious and careful AND is saving resources all around!

As I was reading the latest additions to this thread it reminded me of how many people who ask how big my houses are. It comes up in talks with people about our relatively recent moves. I make some general statement and then I get grilled about how many bedrooms and how many square feet. If I say plenty of room for you to visit or large enough for all our needs I continue to be grilled.

I wonder why people do this. Maybe they want to hammer me about my carbon footprint. So far no one has done that. Maybe they’re just curious about how much we have to be responsible for at our age.

Or, they are just nosy!

People used to always tell me how huge my last house was. It was about 5000 ft.² when it was all said and done. I used to downplay the size. I would say “oh, it just looks big because it’s on a hill…“ Or “the garages make it look bigger”

Then I would get the passive aggressive responses where people would say “I could never live in a house that size.” (When I look at that sentence in writing, it doesn’t sound snarky, but reasonable. But trust me, it was.)

I will hopefully never make anyone feel badly about the size of their home. It’s absolutely none of my business.

jo

When people say things like that, I am almost embarrassed for them. You handled them with such grace, Jo. Kudos.

it reminded me..one of my friends from another state came to visit me, with her kids, for a several days...it was in our old place. She told me "this is kinda too small a house, don't you think?"

(it was 2100 sq f lol, so no, not small)) but yes, guests staying for more than a couple nights-meant that I put my kids together, make one of the kids' bedrooms the guest room.)

I told her "I dunno..doesn't feel that small when I clean it.."

(she's a very nice girl btw, on all accounts. A bit eccentric..)

When we retired we 'upsized' to a larger home, but we designed it for ourselves and it fits us perfectly, though our home is small in comparison to others in the neighborhood.

I'd not criticize someone for their choices in housing (unless they're hitting me up for a mortgage! :) but I do so prefer having a main floor master that it'd be a requirement for me in any house. I've broken both ankles at various times and know you don't need to be elderly to appreciate one-floor living. I know a number of people who ended up converting their DR into a temporary bedroom when they've had foot/leg issues. So it'd be a make or break issue -- so to speak -- for me.

That reminds me of our first home. This was back in the eighties. When my husband and I became an item I inherited a small group of Brits (husband originally from the UK) one couple was considered the King and Queen of the crowd. They were the first in the group to own their own home which was a townhouse. Less than a year later my husband and I found an incredible deal on a mildly distressed property. We loved our first home! It was a 4/2 with pool and beautiful brick patio, not big, around 1800 sf under air I think. As a young couple we were so excited to come home each day.

First words out of the queens mouth when entering: I Would Never Want a House This Big! She was outright angry about it all. In reality my home was only around 200 sf larger under air. What an idiot.

oh people say all sorts of things

even the smartest, the nicest folks out there-I met just a few individuals who never said anything silly. And these, I mostly didn't know very well, lol.

One girl (whom I admire btw. Like, admire.), she told me once, very critically:

-that outfit of yours reminds me of how my Mom dresses

I said:

-Your Mom must have a great taste!..

(but it's not that I always find the words to talk back. Lol)

Those type of comments always crack me up...the “I could never...” I mean, they have effectively turned your housewarming party into a poop show of their own jealously AND self-absorption by making it about THEM! So pitiful, but also sad. I LOVE visiting other people’s new homes, bc, duh...I love homes (like we all probably do on here, lol!) I always ask a ton of questions about various things that interest me but since I am content in my own home...it would never occur to me to try to cast the house in a negative light by saying, “I couldn’t live in a house this big (or whatever.) :)

Whatever works best for you is the way to go. We upsized when we moved two years ago. Not a huge difference, only 800 sq feet. But our current house feels smaller, the open layout is not as functional for day-to-day, but a great entertaining house. The purpose of our move was to leave a neighborhood that was in decline. In a couple of years we are planning on selling again, not to downsize but to allow us to buy a second home in the desert. That said both homes will likely be smaller than what we have now, this will allow us to purchase the second home.

I fell hard for the neighborhood first. Nowhere else would do. Lots of trees. Yes! The homes range in size from 3,000 sq. ft. To 10,000. Falling somewhere in the middle was my future home, but I sat parked in front, debating to even take a look...too big for us, I thought. From the entry hall I saw straight through to the dining room French doors to the mountain view and garden in back, and when I spied the big tree through paned windows in the living room ...well, it was all over. Happily, my DH loved it instantly as well.

This house has made a huge impact on our lives. Our children, living very near and also a coast away, fill it on a regular basis. They enjoy having the space to spread out, chat, nap, whatever, without the need to go to their rooms. The near child has confessed that the above probably influences how long and often they stay and hang out. I also love how easily we can seat family ...In-laws and all!....and friends for dinners.

I would, and I have, love any home that I could make my own, and fill a small cottage with friends and loved ones. This larger home simply makes it easier. Most of all, we are here because I followed my heart; had I fallen as hard for a place more than half the size, I'm certain that's where we'd be.

Jojoco, follow your heart. Best wishes !

marti

Just a thought. My mother is nearly 101 and still goes up and down stairs in her home just fine. Not everyone loses the ability to climb stairs. At your age, you could live happily in a house with stairs for another 30 years before that even becomes an issue.

Definite YES on the first-floor master from me!

Since you are older I REALLY advise looking at the services in your area before you build or buy. My parents had planned to age in place. Now that they are no longer able to drive, they are finding out one by one that the services that they had assumed they would be using to continue on living in their location are VERY limited.

Visits from the family? Only a few times a year. The rest of the time they have an enormous house that needs to be cleaned regularly (dust allergies)--including a floor they can't get to to find out whether it's actually been cleaned.

And, thanks again, everybody, for the terrific advice a few weeks ago!

As someone who has had to TWICE in the last few years be immobile due to either ankle or knee issues, at least have something you can use on the main floor if you get incapacitated. It does not have to be a full master, but you want a spot for a comfortable and private bed, and a full bath so you can shower or bathe as you may need.

My mobility issues were not due to old age... so do consider this. At the very least, have an option in mind!!!

Regards upsizing (a different thought). My old kitchen was extremely dysfunctional, so I had no problems upsizing selectively, so I can have a useful kitchen. (I LOVE to cook...) My old kitchen needed upsizing... I was storing stuff there in the guest bedroom!

I downsized most everything else, but left room for book cases in rooms where others said, "make it tighter!" YOU know what you want to fit in each room! (Draw things out on large paper sheets, or whatever works for you.) Personally, I am not going to waste moolah re-buying books on Kindle or whatever that I want to keep, that I already have in print.

(That being said, I did drop off about 10 bags of books for the local library book sale... but my home is still a book-décor locale!!!)

For some reason, this thread is calling to mind the Sherwin Williams paint commercials airing lately on HGTV about receiving "color compliments." They involve a homeowner inviting an uppity-looking woman into their newly-painted home, and the invitee sniffs around like she's smelling a fart, then says something like, "Oh. You must've hired a decorator." Then confetti falls from the sky and the homeowner acts like they've just scored the biggest win ever, and all I can think is that those are backhanded compliments at best, and I would've wanted to tell the invitee to get the eff out of my house this very minute, you horrid old troll.

I think the "carbon footprint/simple living" criticisms often come across as condescending. Pretty sure anyone could fault-find against those who so staunchly voice such opinions regarding their own lifestyle patterns that are inconsistent with what they espouse. No need, IMO, to justify owning a larger home (or vehicle or whatever) by giving examples of other choices that the "simple folks" would find palatable.

Not crazy, if it is what you think will meet your needs. To me it is all about right-sizing, which may be smaller or bigger or the same to what you have now. I have known a few people who plan to downsize but went bigger instead.

Not quite the same, as we are childfree and late 30s and early 40s but we are "up-sizing" from ~1200 sq foot to ~1900 (plus full basements in both) for what we plan to be our 20-30+ year home. While smaller than your planned home, it seems really large to *us* so for us it is an up-size. But it is right sized in terms of the living spaces, like only two bedrooms (though we will add another when we finish the basement). Ours is a modified production build and sounds like opposite of what you like (ours is brand new, not large, not rambling, and very open), but we are going into a really friendly community; we know people who have lived there for years, including friends, and all really have positive things to say about the general neighbourhood vibe, there are lots of parks and green spaces, etc, we are on a more private street with a small yard space we plan to make private and low-maintenance, etc). We are not too far from services, and fortunately things are always changing with services too (i.e. grocery delivery makes not being a block away from grocery store less important for "future", example as may self-driving cars :)).

I think not having a Master on main is fine. It is actually really unusual to have a Master on main floor here except in a single level (or in a bi-level, where you still get stairs every time you walk into the home), and unless you are on an acreage that means other living spaces get cramped due to lot sizes. We did look at doing a new build single level but as we wanted to stay in the city & really narrow lots here just led to layouts we did not like. Plus, at the end of day, we both just prefer sleeping on a second level, something we have learned after living in houses of various styles. I have had a couple surgeries that made movement more difficult during recovery and I still preferred having stairs even if more difficult to climb as I really love that separation of space.

I did plan a bit though. For me, after witnessing my mum's last few months with cancer (and she was in her 50's, so yes, it is true that mobility issues are not just an elderly thing) what was the issue was not the lack of a bedroom on first floor - a bed can go anywhere, and it worked out really well when she was confined to a bed to be somewhere convenient for visitors and where she could still interact with the "household" rather than be hidden away in a room, so she ended up in the dining room - but rather the lack of a shower or a tub on main floor. Before she was completely confined to a bed we started looking at renovating to add a walk in or adding a through floor lift (she no longer had strength to do transfers with a chair lift).

So, for our two-story build, which we do plan on being in for a long time we made sure to add a walk in shower on main (and we have a small office that would fit a double or queen bed or hospital bed). Our stairs are also amenable to a chair lift, and we have a couple places we could do a through floor lift if necessary. But, again, you can plan for one thing and have something completely different. Seems a lot of people plan for wheelchairs but I have known very few people who "age into" wheelchairs, the issues end up being things like bed-confining illness, or dementia, etc, and where the wheelchair accessibility features were not a benefit.

Also just be aware your kids may not have children, within ten years or ever, and make sure you are still okay with having a large house planned for "visiting grandchildren". Neither I or any of my siblings, all in our early to late 30s, have children, for example. Or they may never all visit at once. It was rare for us all to be visiting home at once (and two of my siblings lived locally), so it was okay that my parents converted most of our childhood bedrooms to other useful rooms for their own needs.

Yes, I agree, no bathroom at all on the ground floor or upstairs is an issue for me and I'm not even "elderly." That's what sold me on my last house. It was small like I wanted for easy management, but having bathrooms on both floors made it perfect. And when I went to sell it, that's what sold it. The buyers had a dad with mobility issues and he would be visiting often so they were thrilled to find an "entry level" home with bathroooms on both the ground floor and upstairs. Most of the houses I looked at you had to chose between one or the other for the one bath. For my tiny house, the compromise was the kitchen was tiny with not the greatest layout, since the 1/2 bath addition had been carved out of part of the kitchen. I once toured a house where you had to walk from the upstairs bedrooms through the entire bottom of the house to the back of the kitchen to get to the one, albeit huge, bathroom in the house. That would not do for this gal who averages 1-3 trips to the bathroom per night.

To the original post....if you want to upsize, can afford to upsize and it will make you happy, go for it! I have some house envy with some family members who have homes that are "bigger" than they need, but do I say anything? Heck no, they pay their own mortgages, host big family events and are happy. It is really none of my or anyone's business so long as they aren't calling me for help paying the property tax! We are in a bigger home then we "need", it is not crazy big but historical and has a lot of land. We could easily move a few miles away to small house with no land but we are happy here, we can afford it and we can have our pets and chickens.