People can be such jerks. Could he use bluetooth headphones with the TV?

I would want to be a jerk and break the tv, lol

Most gyms have music, or TV, on as background noise, so people bring their own music to listen to on their phones if they don't like the background TV/music.

Eld, were you listening to your own music or did you want absolute silence in the gym?

If I was doing weights I would be fine with the TV or music in the background. If I am doing cardio, then I can use my own phone for music or bring an ipad/tablet to watch my own shows.

Rule #11 interpretation - don't blast the TV so loud that others can't hear their own music through ear plugs.

It's so hard to share spaces with strangers. The guy sounds like a bit of a jerk, but I would just make sure I wore ear buds/pods or something when I went in the future. So much easier to control one's own behavior :).

I too would bring earbuds and listen to whatever you want, and just totally ignore the TV. Most gyms have TVs on, usually set to the news. I can see how you don't want to see the news but don't necessarily think it was wrong for him to want it on either.

I am not one to wear ear buds. At my real gym, TVs are on the equipment and you need ear phones for sound. I usually close caption.

Background music doesn’t bother me.

What bothered me was how entitled he felt. When he is there, the TV WILL BE ON.

I am not sure I agree with you here. The TV is there for people to watch while they work out. I'm not sure it is reasonable to expect silence in a shared facility. I, for one, cannot work out unless I am watching TV. The time moves way too slowly for me otherwise.

This does not excuse his really rude behavior, which is out of line in any event.

Yeah, maybe he's a jerk, but I sure would not want to go around picking fights with strangers, which is how I interpret your words. You know when he won't be there, so avoid him. Really, in this day and age, people are crazy, carry guns, etc, and he even knows where you live!

It sounds like he acted like a bit of a jerk, but honestly, if I were working out in there and wanted the TV on I would be annoyed at someone who insisted that it had to be off.

I would have to leave if it was tuned to FOX News though. 😂

I personally would not like a silent gym...I usually wear air pods but if I didn’t have them for some reason, I’d be grateful for the TV. This happens when traveling occasionally...you get those smallish “gyms.” The TV is usually set to news or ESPN, which I am fine with...I figure if I forgot my music, beggars can’t be choosers! 😂

The fact that there is a TV there in my mind lends itself to the thought that the default is “on.” But yeah, he seems like a jerk for being so argumentative!

Here’s the thing. This is not a real gym. It is a small work out room for this gated community.

I have witnessed other asking politely about the TV use. Not so in his case.

Sushi, true. He was the one that kept at it. I explained my point and then kept quiet. Until he started again when he was finished.

It seems that most here feel he was right. (sigh)

Terrezosa, so it was wrong to not split the difference? I was asking for 15 minutes.

DH says that at his gym, TVs are on closed captioned display with a dedicated frequency that people can tune into with earbuds if they want to listen. Sounds like that would be an ideal solution for your small facility.

Some people are unpleasant and feel entitled. Since he works out there every day, he probably has developed a feeling of ownership. I would just avoid the room during his time. There are far worse things a neighbor could do.

I don't think it matters if it's a real gym or a work out room. We have a small gym in our private community too and there is a TV which is often usually tuned to HGTV or some other benign station. There is a sign beneath it that requests that the volume be kept at a reasonable level and to turn it off when you leave. I've never bothered to turn it on but nearly everyone else does. As others have posted I would also assume that having the TV on is a default. His behavior though was out of line.

I somewhat agree with you, and he should have asked if you minded if he turned it in. Proper etiquette in my view. Then to turn it to a random news channel when you voiced your willingness to split the time, is beyond rude. I absolutely detest jerks like that who slam and grunt their way through a workout and would love to tell them so, because they can damage the equipment and it is so unnecessary. Are they training for Mr World? I would greatly object to certain networks being on too, like CNN, for example.

Remember you can’t control how other people act. Or control theIr manners or lack of.

My next visit, if I was first there and alone, I would put the TV on. On mute, to a nature station or PBS.

It would be really outrageous for someone to come in and change the channel.

Do you like opera? Bring a boom box next time and have at it.

;)

In a small community workout room with one tv, it would seem that the common tradition might be that the person who comes in while someone else is there should ask if they can alter that person's environment, such as by turning on the tv, or changing the temperature, etc.

In short, you were there first.

I wonder, if you already had the tv on, would he change the channel?

Good question Bpath.

I'd ask the HOA to put the tv closed caption with a dedicated frequency for those who want to listen. The gym near me has several such TVs set to different channels so that people can select what appeals. I'm sensitive to noise and won't go anywhere that I'm blasted by voice or music that isn't to my taste.

If you want to escalate, the Ninja Remote for under $30 has been around for 10-15 years. It disrupts non-HD and HD TVs is a number of delightfully wicked ways and its IR emmitters jam other remotes. It also disrupts some digital cameras. There's a key fob sized one that only disrupts some HD TVs and not cameras. So far I've been too well-behaved to use one, but that doesn't keep me from wanting to!

It was good to vent. I will avoid the time he is there.

eld, I think he was rude.

If I were to go (and if no one else was there) I might be inclined to unplug the TV. And I do like Moxie's remote idea. LOL!!

I also think he was rude and may feel like he "owns the place", since he's been using it for some time. He may not have liked "some dame" showing up during "his" time and making a simple request, and to that I'd just have to say TOUGH.

I wonder, if you already had the tv on, would he change the channel?

Off topic, but this reminds me of something that happened years ago.

We were at my husband's sister's house for my MIL's birthday party/barbecue. My youngest son was a baby who I was nursing. I went into the house to sit on the sofa in the family room to nurse him, and was watching the TV in there. My SIL came in and changed the channel, as if I wasn't there. Then a few minutes later she left the room and turned off the TV!

He sure sounds rude but he also sounds like he was over defending himself. I overreact every so often. When someone presses a button I just verbally over defend myself.

I think in general the simple explanation as stated above is the TV is there you weren't using it therefore it was free for him to use.

Also as much as you enjoy a lack of sound maybe he really is stimulated by sound. Both things are valid.

Since the TV was already there he had no need to bring his own sound.

Personally I wear a noise cancelling headset when I don't want anybody's noise to impact what I'm doing. I don't even necessarily have any sound I just have the sound all muffled. That way both you and he can be in the same room and neither one is asking for the other to change their personal taste.

Since your gym is small and private maybe there is money in the coffers to do as suggested above and fix the situation. I sure like that idea.

Wow your sister in-law sounds a bit like a control freak. I wouldn't hesitate to if I could to turn the TV back on. Some people think to themselves my house my TV my choice other people think first person gets to choose. I like the latter best. It's more courteous and caring.

Wow your sister in-law sounds a bit like a control freak. I wouldn't hesitate to if I could to turn the TV back on. Some people think to themselves my house my TV my choice other people think first person gets to choose. I like the latter best. It's more courteous and caring.

It wasn't so much that she was a control freak, it was just that I was inconsequential to her. It was like I wasn't there at all. From what I remember, the baby was falling asleep, and I didn't want to move to reach the TV remote.

I think the guy in the gym reacted badly to your request. I think you knocked him off his stride and threw him for a loop. It’s his routine, he comes in everyday, probably always has the place to himself, and always turns on the tv. You were kind of the interloper. Not in a real way but in the high school cafeteria sort of way, you sat at his table, YKWIM?

Its possible he wanted no interaction, and was looking forward to alone time, your very presence was already irking him and then you spoke, and then you asked him to change his routine. He could have handled it all better but he didn’t. It’s possible he is regretting his reaction. I am not one who deals well with schedule disruptions, I have sometimes regretted how I react.

Local, I agree. I am thinking this man lives here year round, and by now most snow birds have migrated. Many, like myself, are staying longer due to Covid.

Yeo, I think you hit the nail on the head. He kept over defending. But then to purposely work out by smacking the weight and grunting to get even was really over the top.

I do hear what everyone is saying. But as I mentioned, I have observed others being considerate and asking, if they could turn the TV on, change a channel, or shut it off. And, there were no arguments. After all, the TV could have been left on by someone who has already left the gym.

I like hearing everyone’s take and appreciate the feedback.

Terre,unbelievable.

People can be so childish when they don't get their way or sense a threat to their "normal". We are currently experiencing this in interactions with our neighbor on our property dispute issue. I am quickly learning that you can't argue sensibility into someone else when they have concocted their own "facts" based not on reality but on entitlement ... Probably a lifetime of feeling entitled over many different situations. I'm learning that debating with such a person is a foolish exercise in going round in circles. You do what you can to make things right (continue to avail yourself of legal remedies) and avoid further interaction. Sometimes you are called to be the bigger person.

Ida, my situation is nothing compared to yours. I hope you come to a resolution quickly so that you can enjoy your yard.

Oh, thank you el. We have hired an attorney and things are progressing.

Local, I think you might have come up with the deeper reasons for his behavior, but he still just channeled his inner (or outer) jerk. I really hate seeing a bully get his way by eld having to adjust her life to avoid him, but it's probably the smart thing. My favorite solution would be to get there first and put something innocuous on the TV. if he doesn't like it, he can come back later. But I'd actually probably wear some noise canceling headphones so I didn't have to listen to him or the TV.

Ugh I'm sorry you were subjected to a territorial gym jerk. I've had pretty good experiences at large gyms but I've also had an unpleasant experiences at a local small rec center weight room. I think when a gym is very small and infrequently used, some regulars get territorial about them and feel like it is their own personal space because they are used to having it to themselves. Additionally there are some people, typically men, who feel it necessary to grunt and slam weights without regard to others around them.

My most recent large gym membership was at a Planet Fitness where such behavior was explicitly disallowed. After that gym closed, I tried lifting weights at a local county rec center with a small weight room. I went a few times until I had an unpleasant encounter with a territorial man. There were only two weight benches and he had piled up many weights around him (rude) so he could use them without regard to others. I grabbed a weight that wasn't quite what I wanted from the remaining racked weights and figured I'd make due and started using the only other bench next to him. He began grunting every single lift in a very exaggerated manner. When that didn't drive me off, he very obviously and intentionally lifted a butt cheek towards me and passed gas very loudly and disgustingly. It smelled horrible and it was clearly not an accident. I never returned to that weight room and started lifting weights at home.

Unfortunately without staff to enforce rules or sufficient people in the room to peer pressure jerks into behaving, I think small gyms are rife with bad behavior. I think your options are to ask the HOA to make changes to the way the TV sound is channeled or wearing noise canceling headphones is probably your only option. Hopefully you can also avoid the time that this jerk normally visits the gym and not run into other jerks. Good luck!

Hurray, I'm glad today's experience was such a nice one.

You might get a chuckle out of this story. DH went to cardiac rehab last year - 3 times a week for 3 months. One morning while he was on the recumbent bike a woman walked in and stood next to him and asked him how long he was going to use the bike. He was confused and replied that he had just started and then added that there were 2 other identical bikes available. She said she knew that but that she liked the bike he was using. He figured she'd move on to some other piece of equipment until he was finished so he kept on pedaling. She stood there and in an irritated tone of voice said "so you aren't going to move?" He just looked at her and said "Sure, when I'm done." So she left in a snit and then he found out from the RN that she was scheduled for 9 am but showed up and insisted on working out because she 'had a busy day.'

You just have to shake your head sometimes at things people do.

A lot of “all about me” people out there - selfish, inconsiderate people who care pretty much only about getting what they want for themselves.