When we had a kitchen island, I don't recall anyone, including our elementary school age children, ever sitting there. Ditto adult guests. Everyone used the adjacent breakfast area. We expect the same in a new planned build.

Island seating is for snacks or quick meals (e.g., breakfast during the week when kids & parents are trying to get out the door for school & work).

For family meals, a table is the best option. It provides a better "bonding" experience and allows you to connect with each other and discuss the day's events. Studies have shown this type of dinner actually helps to reduce many of the problems during adolescence -- alcohol/drug abuse, etc. It promotes better communication.

If you have a Dining Room and you use it, then maybe an island would be OK. HOWEVER, the island should be situated such that it's not just an "island-to-replace-a-table"...tables are far more flexible than permanent islands.

If you have the Dining Room (and use it) and the island can be located so it's useful for Kitchen work, then it may be OK as long as it doesn't cause issues (e.g., as a "barrier island").

If you just want "up high" seating, then get a counter-height or bar-height table to try it out. (But know that the popularity of this type of table has run its course and people are replacing them with standard height tables. I personally know several families who followed the fad but have since gotten rid of them.) Ultimately, standard table height is more comfortable for everyone for longer-term seating, but if you really want the raised seating, then test it out first.

Like Worthy, we rarely use our peninsula seating except during meal prep, cookie decorating, dyeing Easter eggs, and for breakfast (we're all on a different schedule in the morning). Sometimes my daughter will do her homework there, but more often she does it elsewhere.

The table vs island dilemma. The only thing that works is what YOU train your family to use. I prefer tables, like the ability to stand over, using more muscle power for prepping some of my foods. I like having the ability to stretch my legs out under a table and kick back. That said, it is fun to have everyone around the same height at an island while you are working in the kitchen. For anything to work, it is usually the mom that sets the tone. We never had an island, just a bar height breakfast bar. The kids used it on school days for breakfast, that was it. I keep it clear of clutter and love that it keeps my kitchen clutter hidden from our “formal” dining area.

We have a counter height bar-type table that functions as an island in the kitchen. I never sit at the thing but DH eats breakfast (solo) there. We never eat together there, we always eat at the kitchen table. IMO an island is simply a resting place for plates while someone is wolfing down their food, not a space to spend quality mealtime together.

Edited: I went back and looked at the island, it is counter height, not bar height -- shows you how much attention I pay to the thing... I guess I considered it bar because it holds bottles of wine LOL! Regardless, I don't sit and we don't gather at it.

We don't miss the kitchen table! We eat 90% of the time at the island now, it's convenient and easy to clean. Counter height is not much different than regular dining height, unless we're just used to it. Our dining table is several steps away if we want to use that for a bigger meal or have other people eating with us. I purposely made our island one big space with nothing in the top so it's a big prep space. I can face everyone while they are sitting there, my kids do homework there all the time and nobody feels in the way eating there since there is no sink or range, etc. It doesn't get cluttered but inevitably there will be a space in your kitchen that will. Ours is a U shape where one side of the U perimeter cabinets don't get used much so that is where all of our "stuff" goes to clutter it up. You will not regret doing a big island.

IMO bar hieght is not a comfortable seating position for most people but counter height is a much nice spot. My kids always did their homework at the dining table since we had no island now as adults when they come to visit they alwyas sit at the island while I cook or just a great spot to grap a glass of wine or a coffee. I think it depends on how you live. I aslo think it depends on how old the kids are.

If I had to choose between an island or a kitchen table, I'd choose the kitchen table every time. It's more flexible, and allows for more intimate conversations and lingering at the table.

I can't stand bar style seating for conversations, and if you have older or very young people in your home regularly, they can be harder to get in and out of, but they are nice for the cook to be able to easily chat while prepping (although I can still do that when guests sit at our kitchen table). Ultimately I think this is a lifestyle preference and there's no right answer here.

If you have the room, you could create a dining extension to island (and could lower). This is much more condusive for family conversations vs being lined up along an island

Counter height seating doesn't work well for clumsy people like me. I'd be afraid to fall and break my skull!

We have island seating and an informal dining space (open concept). My ideal situation would be to have island seating and a dining ROOM, but hey, it's what we have.

We have a preschooler. She does snacks and breakfast at the island daily. It's also where people sit while I'm prepping dinner. We have really great chairs, though, which I think is key (they have backs and they're cushioned). My kitchen is set up so the island seating is on the other side of the work space and it faces the prep space, so it's really nice that I can talk to people while I'm working in the kitchen and they're not in my way. We do not eat lunch or dinner at the island, and I wouldn't want to. I also wouldn't want an island with seating anywhere near a work zone (for example, seating by the fridge, which I've seen a lot). our island does have some clutter, but if we didn't have the island it would be on the table, so I don't think that really changes my opinion on it. Personally, I think having TWO sets of dining tables and chairs is pointless.

Know thyself. For us, counter seating is of no interest, even when our children were little. We like a nice farm/harvest table in the kitchen. The kitchen counters are for kitchen work. Sitting at a counter is not very sociable to my way of thinking. I only like sitting at a counter when I am alone and having a coffee and reading the paper.

I don't miss it. But personally, I don't see the point in having two table seating options. When we had a "casual dining" area, it was the only one used, and the dining table just gathered dust. Now we have a single "dining" area, and it gets used daily. (Ok.. *almost* daily.. sometimes it's cereal for dinner in front of the tv.. but I blame the pandemic.)

The counter height seating, whether island or peninsula, serves a different purpose, so it also gets used. My kid sits there for breakfast and to color (and maybe eventually do homework) while I cook. Guests perch at it (whether they sit or not) so we can chat without them being in the way. But we don't use it for real meals. I don't like the diner effect of sitting in a row. It's awkward, at best, if you have more than 2 people sitting and trying to have a real conversation.

I have an island that is split level L shape, counter height on the kitchen side for working and bar height on the den side. The den bar height side is only used for buffet style servings of appetizers, drinks and side dishes. Occasionally someone uses it for computer work. We have a kitchen table we use for daily meals and a formal dinning room for large groups. No clutter on the island. The kitchen side has the sink and dishwasher. The counter height area is open to the breakfast nook and outdoor deck and we use it for serving crock pot meals, assemble it your self meals, buffet service, baking and present wrapping! Love having an island for prepping and service but not for eating.

I love sitting up at the kitchen counter, and people love standing around that space during visits. plus it gives you more counter-height space to work with. I would take that over a kitchen table any day. just be sure to get really comfortable bar stools.

We have bar-height counter seating, and my husband and adults are constantly sitting at it, although rarely to eat. We have backless swivel stools that make getting in and out fairly easy. When we had stools with backs and arms, literally nobody ever sat at the island. It's just too difficult to pull out a heavy chair and try to scoot in. We do plan on doing a cut-down eventually to bring the island seating to counter height.

We have a formal dining room that we converted to a den, and our designated breakfast nook is large enough that we put a full size table and chairs there for casual family dining.

I don't miss the eat in kitchen table that I had before our reno. Our last island didn't have enough seating for all of us (6) and people were still always around it. Now we have a large island with seating on 3 sides, and comfortable stools with pads. My dining room is right by the kitchen and we use it a lot of crafts and puzzles etc...most lunches and dinners are around the island. In our case it didn't make sense to have seating on the deck, in the kitchen, around the island and still have a dining room also. When the kids sit down in the kitchen I don't feel like I have to immediately offer a snack...they just like to hang out...but when they used to sit down around the eat in kitchen table, it triggered me to feed them ;) I love the large island.

We tend to eat breakfasts and lunches at the island seating but always have dinner at the dining table. With guests over, children take the island while adults take the table.

Our island is never a "landing zone" for clutter. However, it is used for distance learning.

I forgot to reply to #2, no clutter. I have a new rule in the new kitchen...it's " Mom's room". I don't bring my stuff to the kids' rooms, they have to take everything with them once they are using whatever it is. No water bottles, no mail, no cars or crayons, no laptops etc...just no. Knowing how hard this would be, I set up a semi hidden study area right around the corner. Everything charges there, water bottles live in the pantry, and I added a drink area for the hard to train husband...he has to just set his stuff somewhere. I chose a kid friendly counter material, so I don't freak out if they paint their nails there, use glue...whatever....but I will freak out if that stuff doesn't go with the user once done ;) The downstairs play area sometimes looks like a bomb went off...it's ok, I don't have to see it...kids are kids.

Dining table height is much more comfortable for everyone. Easier to sit at and to get up. I've only had one counter bar area and I hated it. It always was full of clutter. And no one ever sat there. For those of us who are short, a little overweight, have arthritis in the knees and hips (you do NOT have to be elderly to have arthritis!), a regular dining table height is the only way to go. Not only do I miss farm tables in the kitchen area, I miss having separate spaces with walls between kitchen and living areas.

I believe the OP is keeping her dining table. it's the casual kitchen table she's nixing in favor of an island. in just about every household I've ever encountered, younger and middle age people gather at the island, older people sit at the dining table or in the living room nearby. that's why I love an open concept great room so much -- everybody gets to sit where they want but still be together.

I don't understand the statement that a kitchen table is more flexible. It's really hard to do baking prep on it!!

"The suggestion that the social-societal benefits of family dinners are lost if the dinner is eaten at a table higher than 30" is nonsense"

You missed the point. Sitting at an island "all in a row" (or like "ducks in a shooting gallery") is like eating in a diner with strangers you don't want to look at. Not exactly conducive to family bonding!

Is that what you want when dining with your family or even friends? I know I don't!

Islands with seating similar to tables (i.e., seating on at least two sides), serve the same function as a table. But, that isn't what the OP seems to be asking about. (As of 6:15pm ET 11/19/20, s/he hasn't been back since the original post, so no more info has been provided.)

It's more flexible b/c you can move it out of the way when not in use if it's blocking access to the refrigerator (or other appliance/component), blocking a pathway, etc.

Permanent islands are just always in the way (assuming the island is in the way).

Many bakers will tell you that it's actually easier to roll out dough on a table-height surface than a counter- or bar-height surface. In fact, when many people create a dedicated "Baking Center", they lower the counters in the Baking Center to 30" (table-height).

So over dramatic. Friends and families can bond in other ways.

You can sit on the couch and eat and still “bond” with people. We don’t all have to gaze into to each other’s eyes while eating.

Buehl,

You missed the point. Sitting at an island "all in a row" (or like "ducks in a shooting gallery") is like eating in a diner with strangers you don't want to look at. Not exactly conducive to family bonding!

You mean to say you have conversations with your family and friends over dinner? No bonding over watching the large screened tv in the family room? No each person with her nose in her phone? Sheesh ;-)

Did someone above actually suggest that studies show that families that eat around a counter-height island have more drug and alcohol problems. Jeez, get a grip.

Had counter high seating at my former house. Yes, I always had to battle it from being a dumping zone. Built a new house and didn't want even the possibility of counter seating. Went back to a regular dining table and I love it!!

We lost our table seating to a new addition's access. Tried to recoup the lost seating by reconfiguring kitchen peninsula to allow countertop seating for 4. Yes, it has become a total dumping ground! But I must admit that goes for every horizontal space in the house, so can't say it's the counter seating configuration specifically. That's the honesty you requested!

Growing up we always had only a counter in the kitchen. Our meals were sometimes in the kitchen together at the counter and sometimes together at the dining table. I certainly didn't mind either option. Personally I prefer the casual counter in the kitchen and a single dining table that can be used for all occasions not only for special occasions.

Studies have shown this type of dinner actually helps to reduce many of the problems during adolescence -- alcohol/drug abuse, etc. It promotes better communication.

I grew up in an "eat dinner on the couch in front of the TV" house. we're all psychopath junkies now, and it's being passed on to the kids LOL.

let's say it all together now: correlation does not necessarily equal causation.

Our kitchen has an island, and is open to the dining room with a peninsula in the way -- so yes, we have 3 different seating options. :D In my experience: the island is used constantly -- we have swivel stools with backs; they're very comfortable as far as stools go -- and people sit at the island and then swivel around to face the living room/TV (the kitchen is between the living room and the dining room). We use the island for happy hour, breakfast and most lunches, hanging out with the cook, homework, food prep, and... clutter gathering. :P It's super versatile in our layout. If I had a huge kitchen, I'd add in a dropped baking counter -- I'm 4'11" and counter-height is too high for me; I have to use a stepstool when I'm mixing, etc. Next time, when I win the lottery. ;)

We use the dining room pretty much only for dinner, and one of our kids has taken over the end of the room for his school-from-home office. We don't use the peninsula very much at all, except when we have a bunch of people over and need it for overflow seating (ie... in the good old days sob). But the island is a total workhorse.

Haven't read all the comments so I might have missed this, but it really depends on whether the question is asking about the island being the only dining area or just another option. We had our primary family table in the kitchen prior to our remodel. We then put in an island and the table moved off to an adjacent (but still close) dining area. We still eat family breakfasts and dinners at the table, but if only the kids are eating, or only one adult we tend to sit at the island. I needed the island for extra counter space but I also wanted to move everyone OUT of my prep zone! I can now tell the kids to "get out" of the kitchen and they know that means to move to the other side of the island. They can still talk with me and be there but they aren't in my way. I can make their school lunches and face them while they eat breakfast. No, I wouldn't want to eat our family meals all there so if those were the only two considerations I'd choose the table, but as you can see there were many others and the island works out best for those.

Clutter. Well, our front door opens into the kitchen, and low and behold the island is the first thing you see! So yes, it usually has some mail on it, a kids book or two, or a phone/computer/tablet, but honestly, it's not usually so cluttered that we can't sit at it easily or clean it off quickly. Our table was just as bad when it was in the kitchen. A lot of managing clutter has to do more with coming up with solutions for the common problems at your house. I put in a dedicated junk/key drawer by the front door to help catch some of that stuff. We're building some lockers for coats, shoes, and backpacks in one corner to catch that stuff. Husband has his own nook for his stuff, like another poster he's my biggest challenge!

Friends that bought island high tables for next to the kitchen, sold them within a year...not comfortable seating at all. We have a peninsula with two stools for the kids to sit and eat snacks but have a regular table in the other part of the kitchen.

I'm wondering if all those people who say they prefer eating at the island up high on stools, consequently swiveling to turn to look at the TV, etc., actually do that because they WANT to or because they have gotten used to it because it's the only eating place/option in the house?

Didn't read all the comments, but I think a dual height island is great! It gives you 2 work surface heights and you can even do 2 seating heights if you want. With out seeing your space or knowing how big of an island you want , makes answering this a bit difficult. I'm 5'5" and I would love the idea of part of a counters being lower for rolling dough or working with the kids etc.

I also really like when the island seating - whether the main seating for the kitchen or not - is done in a more social manner - opposite each other or 2 on and end and 2 on the side, instead of linear.

You do what is best for you and best for the space

Good luck

@Tara I'm voluntarily eating at my peninsula, sitting on the stool, right now -- and right behind me is my dining table. So.... ??? FWIW, we don't watch TV that much -- maybe once/month. So for my family, it's more that we are swiveling around too talk to people between the kitchen and the living room (or me right now: to spy on my 8th grader in the dining room and make sure he's actually doing his classwork! ha). The island seating, and to a lesser extent the peninsula seating, is more flexible and feels much more social, even though the dining room is literally 2 feet away.

“Studies have shown this type of dinner actually helps to reduce many of the problems during adolescence -- alcohol/drug abuse, etc. It promotes better communication.

I grew up in an "eat dinner on the couch in front of the TV" house. we're all psychopath junkies now, and it's being passed on to the kids LOL.

let's say it all together now: correlation does not”

I grew up in a “eat dinner at the table” every night. It was the most miserable part of everyday. No talking at all, and god forbid you accidentally make any noise while eating. There was no bonding what so ever.

My husband eat in the living room, we talk and laugh and have a good time.

I don’t understand why people think eating at a counter height island contributes to the decline of the American nuclear family. I mean, most islands these days have seats on more than one side so you’re still facing each other. It’s literally the same experience as a kitchen table except you’re 6 inches higher up. Why are people so defensive??

Now that we are empty nesters, my wife and I eat at the countertop on high stools for most meals. We dont even eat dinner EVERY night any more, but when we do we sit at the kitchen table maybe 33% of the time. The new home we're building will have an island and a dining room. (Great room setup with really no room for the kitchen table.) We'll get more comfrtable high chairs for the island, and probably eat there 90% of the time that it's just the 2 of us.