You are so right. I hope you are feeling grateful that you can sit on your patio! Not a remote possibilty here. I am grateful for so many things, just have to remind myself to remember that.

@nekotish you are so right. If I find myself feeling a bit down, I start making a mental list of things i have to be grateful for. It always helps. Sorry, I know this went a bit off topic.

Glad you and DH enjoyed an evening on the patio. We had a beautiful day, and even enjoyed the afternoon thunderstorm. After working around the house this morning, I sat on the screened porch with the dogs, listened to the waves (which have been spectacular this week) and felt the breeze. I wasn't too thrilled it frizzed my hair, but seriously, who cares?! Lots to be thankful and grateful for.

We are waiting on 2-6” of snow and 14 degrees Wednesday night… not exactly a great start to the New Year!

So interesting the responses to my thread. Just goes to show that words are powerful and individual interpretation is everything. Thank you… this forum lifts me up when most needed. c

It's January and the Polar Vortex shifted. You get snow! I bet on Thursday you will pour yourself a cup of -----, have a roaring fire in the fireplace, look out the window and think how pretty it is... then you'll be ready for it to melt after 24 hours. Enjoy it while you can! I don't know when I will see snow again, and that thought makes me a little sad.

Already

My day was perfect visiting with my daughters and grandkids and then dinner out with my husband.

@User my grandkids think a snowstorm is the perfect start to the New Year. They are so happy that school is cancelled tomorrow because of the expected 3-8 inches. I am so glad I gave them sleds for Christmas.

We were 77 yesterday and now supposed to get snow during the night/early morning. I don't know how it could stick to the roads as warm as we have been, but who knows? I'm not fond of the cold weather, but I don't have to be anywhere, so snow away! We have not had a fire yet this year. Our winters are most often short-lived and truth be told, we don't use the fireplace that often. Earlier this week, we actually had to turn the AC back on for a bit! Stay snug as a bug @User!

You all stay warm!! Snowing here….

I just got through with barn chores…Eleven horses in the barn all day makes a lot of evening work, but I could not put them out in the freezing rain that we were having earlier. Made pork with green beans (Chinese) for dinner, since ground pork was 1/2 price at Aldi, so I now have 6 lbs of it in the freezer, plus 2 lbs of ground lamb, also 1/2 price. I also bought all of the cat food cans they had, because it is scarce, again.

We had 2" of snow yesterday, here in Colorado. It's a lovely way to start the NEW YEAR! Happy new year everyone! ♥

Not sure I have many useful words. Just doing my best to get the New Year off to a good start.

I’m going to use #*%*! 🤬 to describe our feelings about Covid. We are truly grateful for our health and looking forward to hopefully getting to exchange Christmas gifts and have dinner with our DD, SIL SIL, and DGD (home from college) who have all had covid this past week.

DD is a nurse practitioner and has worked in the ER without symptoms for almost 2 years. She tested positive 2 days before Christmas. Fortunately we had not been around her. All have had mild symptoms but still it’s been hard on them to quarantine.

I am confused and not sure I understand the original post.

We have had a house full of ”kids” (all in their 20s!) and while it’s been a blessing and we really have enjoyed our togetherness — and it was a lot of togetherness as no one socialized outside our immediate family! — I am sort of ready to have a quiet house again. DD goes back to college tomorrow and I so hope she has a normal (somewhat normal) gymnastics season this year. I’m kinda forcing myself to think positive and hope this mess is in our rear view mirrors by…summer? annnd I think I was saying the same thing in April 2020, haha.

I am definitely ready to start eating healthy again after a couple weeks of too many cookies and cocktails!

@Sueb20 you arent the only one. I am confused too but figured I missed another thread or something?

My daughter is happy that her high school just announced it is closed tomorrow due to an expected 6-10" of snow. Our fall/winter have been unseasonably warm in MD so this is a surprise. It was 63 degrees here today! Despite the mild temps, it has been gloomy and gray (rain and super foggy yesterday) since Christmas Day. Rather than take our tree down today and put it out with the garbage tomorrow like most of my neighbors, I decided to enjoy the lights the rest of this week. I often leave it up until Epiphany, but we are leaving Friday to take our son back to college, so I was going to take it down early this year.

After several weeks of not so healthy eating, I look forward to getting back on track...but after Tuesday when we celebrate our older son's 21st birthday with homemade birthday cake. After that, bye bye sugar!

I have just a little more candy to finish off and then back to healthy eating.

I am sorry if it’s confusing. I am having a really awful time and it isn’t anything I feel I can type out here. Thus ” make a request” but I didn’t use words just dashes etc . It does sound dumb now. Everything I touch is turning wrong these days . My thought was that maybe some others had ” stuff ” going on that wasn’t sharable in words but they could ” say ” it in symbols. I suppose I was thinking like writing it on paper and then burning it.

I am glad it has taken a positive turn ! At least this thread turned out well. Thank you guys!!

I struggle.

I have 3 'mothers'....one my real mother, one my gf's mother and one a woman I worked with for many years. My real mom is gone, but the other two are still alive and in their late 90s. They have all showed me how to deal with aging and loss with grace. They have all suffered serious loss in their lives: My mom lost dad and son to suicide; my GF's mom lost her husband and her ability to leave her bed; my friend from work lost her husband, her daughter and her ability to leave her bed. Yet all of them stay(ed) focused on feeling good, upbeat, cheerful and open to whatever life has brought them. Laughter is always sought after and comes easily. It is never hard to visit with them as they are always so welcoming and pleasant to be with. They are still the giving and loving people they always were. Though life has brought them such suffering and constricted them in so many ways, they will still offer whatever they can to make life better for all.

How they've walk(ed) their path is so admirable, so courageous, so hard, and yet they've all accomplished it with such grace. I am ever grateful for them, for showing me it can be done.

Here I am, 30 years younger and already haven't come close to what they've achieved. I have yet to find that grit, that resilience. I already see how my heart has hardened to loss and suffering...I already feel how joy has been sapped and capped by the knowledge that boundless love means boundless suffering...and so I hold back. And while change is inevitable, I so fear the negative changes to come and how much pain and stress they will cause that every task seems fraught with risks almost too hard to bear lest it lead to harm.

I can't become a victim of my own fears especially when I have no power to change the inevitable. When I have been open, I have been rewarded with unexpected pleasures and joy. So it's there, available to me. But it's more than choosing to be open. It's finding that grit, that persistence, that will, discipline and focus to shed the fear, loss and suffering like a snake sheds its skin, as often as necessary, so that joys of living emerge renewed again and again.

And so I struggle.

May this year be the year when I stop trying and just do...like these brave women before me have.

That is a pretty brilliant idea, Trail. I am fortunate that I can share what is on my mind as it's relatively trivial. I know what it's like to have burdens you can't share for one reason or another. It's not just the fact that what you are coping with is too hard, too personal to discuss, it's the feeling that even if you did find a way to talk about your troubles, they would not be understood. That is such a painful and isolating feeling. That sense of not being understood was almost worse than the problem itself. I felt so alone.

I hope the friendship we all share here brings you a measure of comfort. I admire you more than I can say.

Ah I see now....

I find symbols as nebulous as my feelings ...I need to concretize them into words to express what's on my mind, whether others understand what I'm saying or not as a way to help me understand what I'm feeling....

I'm grateful, TR, that you offered up this free space that allowed me to get my @#*$*@(#@)!! out.

I think I was especially catalyzed by this obit for Betty White in the WaPo:

“She poked fun at herself, expressed joy in her friendships, sampled youth cultures, and was game for anything so long as it sparked delight. Betty White became an exemplar, an aspiration, for people who not only want to live long, but want to live better. To live with love, forgiveness, kindness and hope.”

Yes!

So, like this? I have been dealing with ##### for months, and hoped that @@@@@’s retirement and return home would be helpful, but instead @@@@@ said (I swear this is true) ”it’s hard” and is leaving me in the lurch to go do an anti-inflammatory detox in * and _____ for three months.

On the plus side, I mentioned to a couple of someones who asked, that what I want cor Christmas is for someone to take me out. One got the hint and took me out for breakfast, the other asked for parameters and whether lunch at ikea didn’t count (no, it did not). Well Well, one of my favorite relatives who didn’t know about that wish, texted me on the spur of the moment and said hey, want to meet for a drink? and it turned into dinner (well, I had to order to-go for my family, but it counts!)

Wishing everyone’s wishes come true, at least a little.

I find I and my friends are feeling very dark and dreary. Even worse than the usual post-Christmas blues. Ugh!

I feel a good deal of anxiety lately. I "do all the things" that are said to counteract it, but it persists. Something about being close to turning 60 and all the things in life that often follow: aging self and aging loved ones, looking towards retirement, the world situation, and just a generalized worry that will not go away. And no, I will not medicate.

I think many of us are in the same #####y boat.

Jen, I struggled when I turned 50 as it seemed such a big number...

Now that I'm in my 60s I'd be delighted to turn 50 again! It's all a matter of perspective.

I wrote a long post and then backed out literally and figuratively. I’ve had so many sleepless anxious nights . I know all the things one is supposed to do to ameliorate the anxiety and busy brain caught on replay.

The thread on phrases that need to be banished… ” it is what it is”. Well it is true. Like it or not the only thing I can change is my response my feelings.

Thank you all for sharing your thoughts and feelings and once again opening your hearts here in our GW family.

No symbols, I'll risk the words. Attempting to enter 2022 with chin up, shoulders back and intent (can't say total resolve) to find joy which has been elusive and sporadic for quite a while. Depression doesn't keep me in bed or unable to engage with life but low level depression muffles and diminishes joy. Yes, SAD plays into it as does the world situation as Jen mentioned but there's more than that. I've been unable to commit to and fully engage in life here (obviously the pandemic has exacerbated that) and living a half life, one foot in and one foot out is no way to live.

Trail I'm sorry you're struggling.

ps - right on cue this pops up from Adam Grant

I sense an overarching weariness in so many. The revitalized feeling that is often ushered in with a new year seems to have gone missing. I've even had conversations with a couple of colleagues who are real go-getters, and they too say that all they want to do is stay at home and shut out the rest of the world.

Annie, I can relate to so much of what you wrote. Thanks for putting into words what I couldn’t.

I am trying hard to learn from my super positive, loving, and charming 86 yo dad, but I have too many of my late mom’s genes, I think. But I am trying…

Even masked, you can just tell, can’t you?

Trail, I am sorry you are feeling so ###tty. I think this is a great post. Reading it makes me feel less alone in my own situation. As Robo said "dark and dreary" - I think we all understand this feeling. ((((Hugs)))) to you all.

This year has been hard and this holiday has been harder as C***d never ends. Sometimes I just allow myself to say and feel this suc_s. My SO had brain sugery 2 weeks before Christmas and was/is in a lot of discomfort. However, he is alive, remembers who he is and is not blinded, yeah! Breathe in and out slowly, drink tea, think about all the good things. Sometimes it is ok to just scream and cry. I am up and down, in and out of every emotion. Sometimes in a matter of minutes. Right now it's hard, tomorrow maybe not.

Here's something written by one of my favorite authors and ministers, Nadia Bolz Weber. It resonates strongly with me.

"As you enter this new year, as you pack away the Christmas decorations and get out your stretchy pants,

as you face the onslaught of false promises offered you through new disciplines and elimination diets,

as you grasp for control of yourself and your life and this chaotic world,

May you remember that there is no resolution that, if kept, will make you more worthy of love.

There is no resolution that, if kept, will make life less uncertain and allow you to control a pandemic and your children and the way other people act.

So this year,

May you just skip the part where you resolve to be better do better and look better this time.

May you give yourself the gift of really, really low expectations.

May you expect so little of yourself that you can be super proud of the smallest of accomplishments.

May you expect so little of the people in your life that you actually notice and cherish every small lovely thing about them.

May you expect so little of the supply chain and the service industry that you notice more of what you do get and less of what you don't and then just tip really well anyhow.

May you expect to get so little out of 2022 that you can celebrate every single thing it offers you, however small.

Because you deserve joy and not disappointment

So, I wish you a Happy as possible New Year."

Jen, I turned 60 this past year. I look at age as just a number; it doesn't define me. now I'm facing 61! As for retirement, I retired young and I absolutely love it. I wish I had done it sooner!! Sue, I want to be like your dad. I am usually a "the glass is half full" kind of person. (He is darling!)

I'm so sorry to those of you dealing with depression. I certainly understand not wanting to go the medication route, and I hope you find something else that helps. For those of you dealing with illness or loved ones with illness, that is so hard. My husband and I have lost 3 of our 4 parents. Two (and my husband's brother) to cancer. It's hard to pull yourself up from that hurt. For some reason, Thanksgiving but not Christmas, was hard for me this year. Maybe because it was so close to the first anniversary of my dad's death? Or the fact that our family is getting smaller and I have wonderful memories of so many family holidays? I don't know, but it passed and the Christmas season was wonderful. I think HCBM is right. Sometimes it IS okay to scream/cry, pitch a fit, whatever helps you get it out. I also agree with thinking about the good things. That seems to help.

2021 was good to my family in many ways and I still found joy. However, I have had much sadness for those who dealt with covid and those who lost their lives. We lost a friend to covid and I watch his wife grieve and struggle. It breaks my heart. We lost two long-time church members to covid. We had a couple of friends who were desperately ill with covid and I am so thankful they pulled through! It has been an up and down kind of year. I hope that 2022 brings much happiness and peace to my GW friends.

@Kaya excellent. DH always ascribes to lowering ones expectations. I’m always raising mine for myself as well as others… a balancing act for sure. 🙏

Trailrunner, I am sorry you are suffering so much, while so few of us have the shared experience to know how it is in the lonely place where you are just now. One thing that has not changed is that you remain ever-worthy of your own love. Please try to give that love to yourself, in huge measures, in every way you know how. When I have sleepless anxious nights, I try to recall the simple, gentle advice of Thich Nhat Hahn, who suggests we turn off our mind's KNST station at night, referring to our Non-Stop Thinking radio. For me, it's like a meditation, I just keep turning off station KNST, over and over again, each time it starts re-broadcasting its thought-streams. May moments of peace find you and comfort you.

Hugs to all feeling down, out of sorts, anxious, and other tough emotions. You are all so special; I wish I could hug each of you tight. ❤️

Yes, I’m a hugger! Live with it! :D

(Trail, I deleted my earlier post because I got carried away. Although we all feel like this board is sort of separate, anyone can lurk. I shared too much personal info. But this thread is so helpful, thank you for starting it.) ❤️

The last 2 years have been the worst years of my life, for reasons not related to the pandemic. I've been reading again Pema Chodron's When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times. I've gone back and forth with this book, but the timing now seems to be right for it.

If you haven't read it, or haven't read it in a while, I recommend it.

Yes I have all her books. She has such good solid sense. I am sorry you are struggling @Feathers11. My heart goes out to you.

The pandemic was nothing in our lives compared to the last 1 1/2 yrs. our son’s death and then a terrible upset in our family at Christmas last year , it is still going on with no end in sight, these have led me to the brink of despair. I just put one foot in front of the other most days. The above comment about lowering expectations resonates with me and DH . He does and I need to !

I shouldn't be yet am always amazed at the depth and variety of struggles that everyone here is going through. It reminds me of....

And especially be kind to *yourself* as you *do* know what battles you are fighting, and you don't know how hard and how long you will have to fight them.