Ceewhy yes you may be correct. Gotta love the internet. I think the option we are going with, is the one I said we were, sleep on it, literally for a couple of weeks and then look to sell if need be.

“one of my kid’s rooms” - versus ”one of my kids rooms” might have also made that clearer.

Can you use the bed in another bedroom? Or maybe donate it/sell it? When my twin teens decided to move into separate bedrooms, one did not want a headboard and the other wanted a very simple headboard - both did not want any footboards. We got inexpensive beds from Ikea then. Maybe your kid wants something that looks less "bulky" (fwiw, it does not look bulky to me).

As for decor, there are a lot of big-sized, inexpensive tapestries that they can put above the bed. Try Urban Outfitters or Etsy. Also, for both my twins, they decorated their bedroom (one above the bed and the other on another wall) with 3x5 or 4x6 pictures of themselves with friends/family -- they put these up with double-sided tape. Google "teen bedroom photo wall". There are also LED string lights with tiny picture hangers.

Freedom yes I’m sure the apostrophe would have solved all clarity on a public forum where we all make assumptions based on limited info.

You are the one who said you made it all crystal clear in the very first line.

Also, I am done here.

Saw your update in the OP, sounds like a good plan.

I don’t know your teen’s age, but my DD was nearly a teen when we changed her bed from a twin to a queen. After reading this thread, I remembered her not liking it at first. It is a big change and sometimes represents other things besides just the bed itself (saying goodbye to childhood things, etc).

Then she loved having a bigger bed to lie around on … her cat did, too. :D

Looking forward to seeing how it goes. I sure miss my DD living at home.

Jinx so much this. My teen is 15 but it’s a huge change going from twin kid room to queen more teen room for sure. It’s why I don’t want to jump on just selling super fast. Want to wait it out a bit. Just walked by room, for example, and it’s all nicely set up with extra pillows etc and bed made and lovely. Fingers crossed!

Aww, that made me smile! :)

Geez we have been thru a lot on this thread and learned a thing or two on the way. Looking forward to hearing good news later on.

I think your child is lucky to have a mom willing to work with her/him to get a room they love. For teens who often have passionate opinions, it can be difficult and frustrating to not have the means/knowledge/control to get what makes them happy. Your approach sounds reasonable and loving. It really is only a bed after all!

Are they wanting grey-ish curtains? it might dull the room.

Here's idea for foot of the bed, etc....

also on Amazon.com

Amazon.com: DaDa Bedding Rustic Grey Medallion Bedspread - Distressed Mosaic Classical Reversible Coverlet Quilt Bedding Set with 2 Pillow Shams - Cool Toned Multi Charcoal Gray - King - 3-Pieces : Home & Kitchen

DaDa Bedding Classical Grey Floral Mosaic Medallion Quilt Coverlet Bedspread Set · More Info

Your first photo shows a lamp is it? aqua blue?

See if the foot of bed, which is in the center of the room - could have a color:

https://www.wayfair.com/bed-bath/pdp/highland-dunes-miri-microfiber-3-piece-quilt-set-w005061216.html?piid=1278968653%2C1278968657

@everdebz we are putting a pause on this.

What I would do is go to a foam store and have a big piece of foam cut in a rectangle to match the size of the headboard.

The foam should be thick, at least 10 - 12 inches, and heavy weight, and very dense, and the length and width should extend to the top and sides of the headboard above the mattress.

You can look online about foam weight and foam density.

Or, you can get it from the upholsterer.

Then it needs to be wrapped with batting, then it needs a covering of muslin that can be removed and washed. Have at least two made.

Then it needs a covering in whatever color and pattern you and your child like.

Be sure to wash the fabric with detergent and put it in the dryer before the cover is made to allow for shrinkage.

You might want to get some different covers for a change of pace, or for the different seasons.

For example, if you live in a climate that gets cold, you might want a velvet-y fabric in the winter and a cooler cotton-ish fabric in a lighter color for the spring and summer.

You can choose a different color or pattern for the welting, of course that adds to the cost.

You can place Velcro strips to the back of the pillow and to the bed to hold the pillow in place, or another option which I prefer is to add attractive painted white posts (like a newel post that you can buy in any big box store and paint white to the top of the bed.

Then add beautiful colored ties of fabric or silky rope trim to the top corners of the pillow so they can be tied to the posts to hold them in place, the way sofa pillows are held in place to the sofa frame in England.

This way, your child can sit up in bed comfortably and read, or talk on the phone.

I would also fix up the room a bit more.

Instead of a few small pictures, I would get sizable important art/posters for over the bed and across from it.

A lot of little things have no impact and look like clutter.

I would also not have a side table be the laundry bin. Or disguise it.

The teeny tiny desk in the corner looks sad, and gets no light, and the small tall dresser also looks exiled in the corner.

Truly, I would not be happy in that room either.

I would get out some graph paper and play around with how things are positioned.

Also, please consider getting a larger desk to be used for putting on makeup and possibly be used for schoolwork as well.

Also, I would get a larger dresser as well, unless the closet is huge.

The room could also use a nice shelving system for books and collectibles.

The bed needs more appeal too.

In addition to the large cushion against the headboard, you want to make the bed look more luxurious.

First you want a light weight comforter that is permanent press to cover the bed.

Then you want a very fluffy duvet folded at the foot of the bed.

Then you want a colored bed shawl at the foot of the bed which can be one color or a weave.

It can coordinate with the very big cushion.

You can decide if you want the Euro pillows to be white or colored.

@loobab everything you dislike my teen likes. They love their night stand with blankets in it, not laundry. They adore their tall dresser that doesn’t take up a lot of space. Work at their small desk and would never do makeup there. They don’t want any shelving. Once we are okay with the bed frame or get a new one we will consider adding more decor but until then we are at a pause. To be honest part of this process is me letting go some. I thin the room is dull and bland and they don’t. I want to add layers and warmth and colour and new art, right now they don’t. It’s not my room and I want them to love it. So once we get tie bed frame sorted I’m following their lead.

Funny! Well, that's what makes horse races! Good luck!

To be honest part of this process is me letting go some.

I hear you! My teen moved everything from his bed to another spare room and only left the mattress on the floor. He loves it. I hate it, but what am I going to do? I just breathe and don't say anything about it when I go into his room.

Hello West Coast Hopeful, getting in on this.

1. Keep the beautiful bed and don't sell it. It is new and you will lose money from the sale. Tell the teen that. Tell the teen it will go with them when they get an apt. Tell them it looks like a hotel.

2. Sounds like this teen is ready to grow up, and the bed doesn't look as grown up as they thought. This is why they hesitate to change anything else.They want to assert their identity but may not know what they want.

3. Let them take the lead in terms of style. search Houzz, Pinterest, Instagram, or Google images "bedroom with a white bed." They also could take a style quiz, pull their favorite outfits, or find an inspiration piece to pinpoint their style. Friends can give their point of view.

The Houzzers that posted pics had the right idea i.e. adding a colorful blanket, quilt, or duvet plus pillows. I would add that you may have to let them paint, at least an accent wall. It will make the white furniture pop.

Keep us posted, let us know what they are able to find!

@drblount10

1. bed is not new, it’s second hand, could sell for what we paid I’m sure
2. it’s their room and their call within reason
3. Have already stated they will be taking the lead on this

Again all on pause for now.

White bed, white bedding, maybe too much white? I personally don’t think the plain white bedding, no texture, no detail looks put together, especially with the almost white walls.. I would go with a livelier duvet set, maybe even something slate-ish to pick up the darker lines in the rug. Get an inexpensive big art piece from Target or online and perhaps a large simple mirror to reflect light and enlarge the room.

Ok walls are not white but lighting makes wall behind bed look whiter than it is.

Our youngest teen had a similar reaction after asking us to replace her twin with a full sized bed. Turned out it wasn’t that she didn’t like the way the bed fit in her room, she didn’t like the way she fit in the bed. The bigger bed had more open space and left her feeling a little anxious. So it wasn’t restful for her (which is a bed’s primary function after all). For her, moving one side of the bed up against a wall and away from the door helped. I think it made her feel more “sheltered”. Other things that could help might be a body pillow or a weighted blanket.

I would hate the sleigh bed, too. And I'm old and a she, unapologetically.

Tastes aside per the bed. It is white and the roomholder has chosen white bedding. Which makes the monster in the room that much bigger & scarier. Bigger because roomholder zoomed from a twin to full/queen? And the whiteness making it appear even larger visibly than it is really. (Do these white pants make my arse look big?)

Other problem is that it is a very, very traditional style; looks like Grandperson's bed.

This is the bed that my 30 YO offspring chose:

Offspring opted for a lighter wood stain.

Anyway, I like it a lot; it is on my wish list to replace my non-yet Grandperson's personal sleeping nest. (Carved country oak which is sooo over!) Other must haves--like new heating units--keep getting in the way. BTW, the platform bed frame is inexpensive at the Big A Store.

Other thing--I would embrace roomholder's choice of a new color of room paint. It is just paint. $100 and an afternoon will make the change and another $100 and an afternoon will restore it to grayness. (The gray may be part of the problem; it is a downer. Depressing color/ bad for mental health, IME. Especially if you live in the Upper Middle West or some other place with deficiency of sun shiny days and/ or northern state winters with long nights/ short days.

I have an almost 15 year old and we are in the process of redecorating her room. It has been a Loooooonnnnnnggggg process because she changes her mind daily. So whenever we reach an impasse, I just wait it out. So far she has successfully picked bedding, wall colors, and a slipcover for her sofa—over two years. I think she finally decided to make a french memo board, which I told her I would take her to pick fabric, that will probably be another process. All of these things have been original suggestions by me that were initially poo-pooed. They are just so unsure of themselves at this age. They want change, but change is uncomfortable. They want to be cool, anything the parents suggest isn’t “cool”. I find my daughter eventually comes around when presented with a nice option of two and given time to process it.

No more comments please, OP is on pause for a while. Will get back to us in a few weeks

Im late to this thread but looking at the pictures, i would suggest moving the bed under the window. Its the focal point in the room and it would make the room appear taller/bigger by taking the eye up and making the bed visually grounded. Its a great bed. Worth a try. Good luck.

Suzanne, OP doesn't want more comments. She will get back to us.

Ok thanks!

So again to recap it’s full of things chosen by my teen, not by me. My teen does not want a new room colour, or different bedding, or new pictures. They like what they like and the more I talk with them the more obvious it is that if we keep the sleigh bed or change it the room isn’t going to be Houzz photo fabulous ever because it isn’t what they want. I can suggest layering and new things and all the reasons why but if they don’t want it, it’s a waste of money. I’ll definitely keep at it with low key suggestions of ways to improve but like @rtpaige03 indicated it needs to be the teen making the choice.

I know you don't want more suggestions, so I won't offer any. But I am curious as to the reason for your initial post (it was just 2 days ago) if you didn't want input. Every suggestion was met with some form of "my teen doesn't want it, my teen likes their choices." This is really more of a parenting dilemma (and many of us have been there! or still are). You are doing the right thing, allowing your child some freedom to make choices, but also letting them live with those choices. I am sure it will all work out eventually, as this is really a first-world issue.

When I first posted I had hoped I could win them over with ideas of how to improve the space and show them the bed was lovely. In the last couple of days, based on conversations with them it’s become quite apparent that they need time to let this all settle and make choices for them self. I still plan to share photos and make suggestions but I doubt any of it will be fast and I suspect changes will come slowly when my teen realizes that an idea I threw out is actually good. My other two let me redo their rooms with little input and happily enjoy their rooms that I curated for them with a small amount of input from them. I mistakenly assume this round of room redo would be the same. I’m keeping the thread so I can go back and make suggestions to my teen once things settle as there are some great ideas here I hope to casually suggest in time.

Also, while I do appreciate all the comments and advice, if we go back to the original post, I asked if the layout of furniture was okay or if I should change that. I know that when you post on this forum you always get bonus advice of course.

Yes you have been quite gracious accepting advice that wasn't asked for, - like you say, often happens on this forum.

There is lots of good stuff I’ll pass onto my teen subtly!

As the mom of 2 very laid-back teen boys and a VERY VERY opinionated tween girl, I've appreciated reading the comments and suggestions here, both about decorating and about parenting. They've all been super helpful to me as an observer! And FWIW, I'm also very sympathetic to the they/them usage. It can sound clunky -- I'm an editor, and one of the things I struggle with is helping writers work around that clunkiness -- but the motivation behind the usage is quite good, and as language changes, hopefully attitudes will as well. What sounds weird today will sound normal tomorrow.

In my view, once you post a dilemma on Houzz, it becomes public property. ;) Trying to dictate how people respond and restrict the commentary to your original narrow dimensions is an exercise in futility and frustration. It can be worth the effort to remind people of what your actual question is, but a good, complex question will result in a rich, freewheeling discussion. I think it's better to embrace it.

ETA: "Rich and freewheeling" may translate as "pedantic and annoying," of course. YMMV. :D

Which is what I’ve done. I very much appreciate all the comments and feedback. I will continue to correct misunderstandings though. And as said I realize there will always be bonus comments. There is nothing clunky to me about they/them but I’m a teacher and this is my day to day.

It’s funny with kids, designers say center bed on wall, my kids both HATE their beds floating. They like a big space in center of room for practicing instruments, playing games with friends, etc. Most days it seems it is just so they can pile a mess in the middle of the room. Lol. One day they will be Houzz-worthy guest rooms, but now they are teen personal spaces in a home full of love. I’ll take it :). I think one day I’m going to miss their mess. Best wishes for your loving home too !

As to furniture layout?

" Would you like the bed in a different position or spot in the room"

Possible answers " No. I hate the bed"

You then walk away- no comment required

"Maybe I would, but I hate the bed"

Let me know when you are ready. Walk AWAY

OR....

"Yes, maybe OVER HERE......."

Do you want to try it now?

" No"

Walk away. Shut the door and know "___" is safe and not out in the weather.

: ) : ) : ) You can lead any horse to water. You can't make the horse drink.

@rtpaige03 thanks so much for getting it. There is so much that can be done with this space but I want my teen to love it too. And yes Jan it’s true can lead a horse to water but can’t make them drink. So we shall see if teen is up for leading or wants to perhaps not. After all it’s their room not mine and while I can make suggestions I ultimately want them happy in the space so if tacky dorm room chic is what we end up with or a mattress on the floor so be it.

Most recent update frame is sold. Being picked up end of August. For now my teen will enjoy box spring on floor life and we will slowly pick away at figuring out what they actually want.

I sympathize -- it's hard enough for *me* to figure out what I want! Good job on not insisting on something in your vision -- that would definitely be my temptation when faced with a indecisive teen/tween (btdt) (still hearing it about the yellow bedroom paint, 5 years later).

thanks for the update.

Hi, thanks for the update. BTW not sure if anyone else mentioned this but you actually have a really nice house from what I can see. Glad a decision was made on the bed, and don't worry.

I think it's great you're letting them figure out their own space. It can be a painful learning curve for parents AND children but it's important. Great parenting!

So final update on the room saga is that my teen is totally happy with their box spring and mattress on too. They change the bedding out often and have pics on the walls and little lights and love their room again. I got my money back for the frame so all is well. Teen feels room is sanctuary and happy so really that’s what’s most important

May we see a pic please?

They don’t want me to take one

Completely understandable…glad it all worked out! 😊

Enjoy! I have a teen preparing to move out. I may just miss the chaos that is his room.

Thank you for updating the post.