Probably the only rule that I have had a problem breaking is the combining of metals, but I am working on it. That said I think it can look fabulous.

Totally agree on the newscasters dressed for cocktails

My husband would wear shorts and hawaiian shirts everywhere if he could. He groaned when I told them there was no need to bring them on our Alaskan cruise a few weeks ago. He brought them anyway. Strangely enough we had a bit of a heat wave, he wore them around the ship for a few days. He did change for dinner.

In southern California (and even in Texas) the rule about no white between Labor Day and Easter ( or whenever) is just silly, and I don't know anyone who ever followed it. Whoever made up this rule has zero relevance today.

My first rule is that there are exceptions to all rules, including this one.

I combine metals all the time. most of my stuff is silver or brass (and "other", such as leather, wood or resin), but my favorite wedding ring is two simple hammered yellow gold bands, and I feel like it's relatively in keeping with the rustic look I'm going for.

If I was going to wear fancier, more polished jewelry, I'd probably want to get a little more matchy. But I don't like fancy jewelry so whatevs.

I am a big metal mixer-- but what is key for me is to have a few pieces that mix the metals. I have a pendant that is white gold, yellow gold and green gold.. and a number of other pieces that mix gold and silver. From there you just load up on whichever metal works for your outfit or your mood. I do tend to lean more towards one or the other on any given day but I am almost always mixing (because I wear my lotus pendant almost daily).

I wore white jeans on the Thursday after Labor Day last year to my cookbook club and was resoundingly hooted for doing so.

Really? Where do you live?

I think that if it's still warm and summery that white is a great look, regardless of the date.

I really think so much of this is regional...esp east coast vs west coast. I'd NEVER heard of no white after Labor Day until I was in my 40's and someone who'd moved here from the east coast commented on my white pants in Sept. I thought it was the silliest thing I'd ever heard, lol! Our best weather is often in Sept with summer temps and why wouldn't you wear summer clothes? I also never heard the open toe shoe "rules" or daytime sparkles. We're barbarians here apparently! I think the only clothing rule I know is no socks with our Birkenstocks. And people break that all the time.

Drinking before 5 PM? Or has the pandemic upended that?

Mixing metals? So funny that over in th Building forum, someone just asked about mixing metals in their hoise.

Drinking before 5? That’s a rule?

bbstx, My mother did not know the rule about wicks. She disagreed with it vehemently. I think I get it. Is it so that when you do light the tapers they catch right away?

Combining metals is a yes for me, absolutely love the look.

Slovenly clothes do not feel comfortable to me, they feel depressing. I don't get the appeal.

As for newscasters, I once heard someone on the East Coast say that females newscasters dressed very conservatively there, but that this changed the further west you went so that by the time you got to the West Coast, they looked like hookers. I think this was said back in the 1990s, and so it is probably not relevant today, and by West Coast, I think they meant Los Angeles.

How about men wearing hats inside a building. Is this still a 'rule' or not? It's a particularly salient issue in schools as kids feel they should wear hats 24/7. It's tough to tell kids not to, when you go to a band concert and see a dozen or so baseball caps. I knew the white rule and drinking before 5 which is where the haha 'it's 5 somewhere' comes from... Back when I wore a watch I purposefully chose ones that were made of mixed metals. Bracelets and rings seem most open to mixing metals. Because my wedding band is yellow gold would never keep me from wearing silver earrings/necklaces. Never heard of the sparkly or open toes shoe rules. Where do strappy heels come in then..seems like you see a ton of them on the red carpets? Does make up wearing count in this? My mom once chastised me for not wearing mascara on our way to the beach. I didn't want black running down my face. Winter white killed that rule but it rings in my head every time. Weddings are often black these days, I was under the impression the rule was no one but the bride wears white to a wedding. Most of these must be for those that went to finishing schools--the rest of us get to do what we want but I so wish the idea of "Sunday best" still existed.

Oh, please don’t get me started on men wearing hats indoors, especially at the table. That is just rude.

I thought the no black at weddings was because it was the color of mourning. And no white because it is the bride’s day and she gets to stand out in her white gown against a sea of color worn by the guests.

As far as colors go, my mother had another one…nothing but pastels on babies and toddlers. Pictures of me and my sister show that my mother abided by that one.

Zalco, I’m not sure about why candle wicks were to have been burned. You are right, a burned wick catches more quickly than an unburned wick, so perhaps that it is. In the back of my mind, I always thought it was because the candles should look like they were actually used and not just for display.

Bb, yes, same here, re: wicks. I was taught that, too … so they looked used. That one has stayed with me throughout life.

Growing up around cowboys/ranchers/farmers, it was considered very crass to wear hats indoors. I’ve noticed more and more that ‘rule’ being relaxed.

Another I just thought of — any meal, no matter how casual, needed to be put on the table in nice serving dishes. Company or not. My Mema saw one of us eating out of a pan once and the look on her face! :D

I've lived on the east coast my whole life. No white before Memorial Day or after Labor Day is burned into my brain. I still can't let myself break that one and I have no idea why.

I wear mixed metals though, for the same reasons as Funky. I have a few pieces which mean the world to me and some are platinum and some are gold. I see jewelry in the same way I see beautiful oriental rugs....they all go together in my world.

I wear mixed metals, too. I like chunky rings and have a few that have both gold and silver details.

Oddly, though, when I was heavy into making costume jewelry, I never mixed metals. Hmm. Subconscious issues.

A rule that I try to follow is, no containers at the table. For example, ketchup or mustard shouldn’t be in the bottle it came, but in a squeeze bottle. Other condiments should be in a dish or bowl with a utensil. Well, my kitchen doesn’t have room to keep the specialty servers, no matter how small, but we will use, say, little ramekins, mis-en-place, etc. And no, we never do set the milk juice bottle on the table. I had gotten a serving bottle for milk, many years ago from Lillian Vernon, it looks like a white glass milk bottle (why that’s better than a real milk bottle I don’t know) but I never remember to use it. It’s part of a cute display, though.

Candles: we light candles at dinner, even if it’s still daylight in the summer. I’m not sure how strict that rule is!

Jinx, when our oldest was a baby/toddler, we lived in a small townhouse. I really didn’t want the whole place to be a dining room, so the rule was, food stays at the table. Later, when he was playing at friends’ houses, he would take his snack to a table while they ate anywhere at all. And one day, in our next house, as I set a snack at the kithen table, his little friend picked it up and started wandering into the living room, DS said ”Tim, food stays at the table.” And Timmy wandered back into the kitchen, and they sat and ate their snack and giggled and joked, and it was so cute.

Anybody remember Tony Soprano discussing hats indoors?

In the early 90s I made a demo video for a broadcast news job. I wore an emerald green Damask, double breasted Talbots coat dress.

You would have thought I had shown up nekkid to the taping. "Have you ever seen a newscasters arms on TV?" I was admonished.

Ooops, I forgot to mention the key issue in my description, the dress was, wait for it, short sleeved.

Jinx, What I found when I met real Texans, especially good old boys, and whatever the female equivalent of that is, , was that they were super slow to modernize and kept all their beautiful manners. ❤️

🥰

All the talk about when to wear white. Year's ago this author did a presentation at our local library.

Her signature look was wearing white denim jeans all year round.

IIRC she might have talked about breaking other rules.

At the time I remember questioning if my selections were too young for me.

I wear white jeans year round. We always called wearing white in winter ”winter white” to get around the rule. :D

In reality, I think winter white is ivory.

(Sorry if that was mentioned … threads are acting wonky for me. Posts show up late, then the order is off! I’ve probably missed some.)

At least in my region, it's very normal for men to wear baseball caps inside, including to dinner, as long as the restaurant is generally appropriate for hats. Wearing a baseball cap at a nice / formal restaurant is (to me) the equivalent of wearing sweatpants. Just don't. Oh and a lot of people wear those slouchie beanies everywhere, including inside. Both men and women.

I do think several of you like Oly are onto something with some of this being regional. I live in the Mountain West and it's incredibly casual. Shorts are very common in restaurants. And of course jeans. I've been surprised by the frequency with which I see people wearing jeans in what I consider to be a nice upscale restaurant.

I have never owned white pants, but all of this summery white pants talk makes me want to try buying a pair. I've always been afraid I'll somehow stain them or sit in something and look like an idiot.

The whole condiments decanted thing got one of my children in trouble at my aunt's house where a jar of pickles found itself on the table. one of my sons was truly trying to be helpful and decanted the pickles into a dish, he was eight. My aunt was so offended.

I think the rule on no hats inside for men hearkens back to certain religious mandates, and possibly to medieval times for other reasons. It's one of those things that seems to relay respect or a lack thereof, although I personally don't see what one has on their head has to do with being respectful these days. Still, I know many hold fast to the custom and can be pretty put out when a man keeps his hat on indoors. And of course, the no hat indoors rule only applies to men, which makes it seem even more irrelevant these days -- ah, but the woman is to cover her head in church in some cultures and faiths. Interesting stuff, and certainly good to question why and how things become the norm.

Winter white! Yep, that's how we "got away with" wearing white after Labor Day. I have owned some wonderful ivory wool pants and worn them confidently in the colder months. Of course, it would be impractical to don lightweight pants of any color when it's freezing outside (and if you're going to BE outside).

Prickly, if looking like an idiot was going to slow me down I'd never leave my house. Ha ha.

I love slim white denim capris, and/or white linen pants. They're so easy to dress up and are the epitome of summer to me. However yes, to your point, white pants also seem to be like a beacon for anything that could possibly stain them.

Again, I'm wondering if this is another regional thing. We have a distinct summer season here, and winter means feet of snow and ice and brutal cold. It just doesn't feel right to me to wear white pants in anything that isn't distinctly "summer." Hmm. We may have found my issue. (Well, one issue of many....but anyway.... 😊)

A rule I impose on myself regards how casual can I get away with at my business casual workspace -- such as no strappy tops or leggings. But that got kind of muddled when I saw my manager wearing faux leather leggings with a gorgeous wool sweater. (IDK how to describe her style, but I call it the "art gallery look" and I love it.) I realized I could break my rules, but I don't know if I will ever achieve her level of style w/o straight up copying her, so my office clothes are still kind of boring.

I grew up with you aren't suppose to wear white after Labor Day also. But, the last few years I do wear white jeans in the winter. Paired with a cashmere, powder puff light blue sweater and light taupe ankle boots and it looks winter-y to me.

I also have a pair of white loafers, like the one below-I've worn in winter. Click to the white pair.

https://www.nordstrom.com/s/sarto-by-franco-sarto-eda-loafer-women/5962332?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FAll%20Results&color=500

I tend to break some of the old random rules when it comes to fashion.

Ollie your winter white outfit sounds gorgeous! What cut do you like for your white jeans?

Seattle, your business casual rule for yourself sounds just like mine. I'll wear sleeveless shirts, but nothing strappy. And I'll wear jeans and other pants, but no leggings. I also won't wear shorts, but probably because I wear short shorts and that feels inappropriate for work, even if my coworkers wear them.

Over time my professional/work attire has moved much more casual. I've gone from wearing dress slacks (usually Banana Republic, Theory, etc) with heels to jeans. Oh and now that I work from home all the time, I just need to look professional enough for a zoom meeting.

Awe thanks prickly! I normally wear a straight-cut ankle (but not too short) white jean. I don’t care for skin tight on me anymore lol Especially in white.

Jinx, winter white to me is a softer or off white.

I remember years agontreating myself to a white wool coat. I only wore it one season. It yellowed.

Ollie, I like that combo.

Not thinking I agree on hats/religion. Many have men put on head coverings, but I will say I am glad it is the one place I do not see hats inside on men. I think the condiments are regional or followed by people who don't wash their own dishes. In my family of origin the ketchup bottle was always on the table when needed, at my MIL NEVER would you see an original package on the table.

My husband's motto is, Rules are for fools. I found him up on the roof with a shovel pushing snow to the ground. I yelled up "you get down from there right now. You're not supposed to do that and above was his motto answer. We still use it in our family as it's been passed down.

Yaya, I think your husband is a smart man. Many of these "rules" I have not heard of and many are down right stupid. Here in my area I have heard the "white" rule, but it's not followed too strictly as our warm/hot season goes well beyond Labor Day and you are not going to see many people changing out their wardrobes till later on. But there is a difference between "white" and "winter white".

*edited as apparently my post sounded too harsh.*

As the post is entitled random old rules, I think it is clear we no longer live in a society where these parameters are enforced in any way shape or form. Mostly, that is a good thing.

As for the more important questions of who made the rules and should anyone have followed them, the answer is, society made the rules, and if you wanted to belong, if you wanted the good job, you followed the rules.

Until today, eschewing some rules will find you economically disadvantaged. People are still taken to fancy restaurants in the hiring process. First impressions telegraph a lot of information. There is still a hidden curriculum in some fields, but that is not what this post was about. This was about amusing old strictures which no longer exist.

PS Bbstx's friends seemed to be teasing her, not making fun of her.

One of my favorite quotations:

"As the post is entitled random old rules, I think it is clear we no longer live in a society where these parameters are enforced in any way shape or form"

Were they ever? As I stated above, I have not heard of many of these rules. Apparently (thankfully) my parents did not abide by most of these. Perhaps they didn't know many of these either as it could be a regional thing. My parents taught good manners and I learned early on how to dress appropriately as yes, they believed first impressions were important. But they taught me to think for myself and that was more important than "belonging". Thankfully, my siblings and I turned out pretty well!!

Interesting thread!

I remember reading in ”The Cat Who…” mysteries, that Qwilleran would bring his guests their drink on a tray, as his mother taught him you don’t hand someone their drink hand-to-hand, but let them take it from the tray. I can see that, as the handover can be tricky, but I guarantee I would spill a drink if it were on a tray. I would need one of those actual server trays with a no-slide bottom.

My mom knew all the rules and was a fine entertainer. But I'm pretty sure if she put mustard in a little dish, someone was gonna ask what kind of mustard it was. There are so many and, other than the bright yellow one, it's anyone's guess.

Family dinner that happened every night, yes bottles were on the table. Everyone had a different salad dressing, identifiable by its bottle and label. Milk cartons had to be removed from the table.

I don't know that it's a rule, but when we had dinner, the plates were always warmed first. My mom plated the food and served each plate, often with a warning that the plate was HOT, and of course I had to test that claim. OUCH! Told you! To this day, even as I am usually a solitary diner at home, I preheat my dinner plate (or breakfast plate). Nothing's quite a buzzkill as when you put lovely warm food on a cold plate, which will suck that warmth to its cold hard core.

There is a lot of regionality and social class to rules/manners. If one keeps in mind the true intent of manners (not as a marker or a secret handshake, but for the purpose of civility and making others feel comfortable and welcome), then any gaffes should be minor.

I have a "thing* about containers on the table, but no one taught me that. It's the visual cacophony of labels I dislike, and the sense it was not worth the effort to decant and serve them. I learned from a coworker not to leave a messy plate when you are done eating, and now it bothers me when people do (and I don't mean you have to eat every bit of it).

As far as mixed metals, I have never given it another thought since buying this watch maybe 20 years ago. It is still my favorite watch and, judging by my DDs' covetous admiration of it, a classic.

We recently attended a viewing/wake. It was eleventy billion degrees out. I do not own a black dress except off the shoulder and long (think Senorita). I own dark suits but this was being held on a covered outdoor terrace, for COVID reasons. I wore a white button down tailored shirt and slacks. Honestly it never even occurred to me as I got dressed that this could be wrong but my DH said "is that what you are wearing?" This is unusual for him, so I spent the whole drive there wondering if I should stop at a mall! Most people wore black, but some wore things that were pretty casual and some wore things that I thought were too sexy. I felt fine. Plus I think I may have been channeling my friend being waked. She was tall and slender with long hair and she always looked like a coed; she favored RL button downs in solids and not-Mom jeans.

I heard of the no white after Labour Day rule, growing up, which we did usually follow, back then. But as times changed, so did our observance of that rule. By the time I was about 10 in the mid 60's, white go-go boots were all the rage. I got a pair for Christmas, and there's no way I would have waited to wear them after Victortia Day (1 week prior to your Memorial Day) in case they would no longer fit.

As I got older, 'winter white' was deemed acceptable for Fall/Winter, being off white, rather than a glaring bright white. I still love the look of white boots, but in snow boots, not leather! I had light blonde hair before grey, so preferred winter coats in colours that contrasted my hair. But I think women with brunette or red hair look amazing in white coats and parkas, and white snow boots look nice to go with them!

https://shopd.off67.ml/ProductDetail.aspx?iid=11486527&pr=57.88

Amicus, I love those boots!

I grew up in a house where we almost never ate at the table, so the "no bottles" rule is a completely new one for me, LOL. When I went on my first fancy dinner date (prom), I had to ask a friend what some of the table rules were. It turned out I knew most of the basic rules though, we weren't total cavemen. (PS: that "fancy" dinner was the Olive Garden, LOL.)

My parents were 1960s teens that grew up in households that were a bit strict, so I think they wanted to buck that trend. We didn't go to church, they were not bigtime disciplinarians, and I didn't really even have chores (I did always have to clean up after myself in the common spaces, but if there were no guests, my bed & bath could be as chaotic as I wanted). It was really nice having easygoing parents. I grew up fine. In fact, my messy sister and I wound up turning into total neat freaks by the time we were in our 20s. Go figure!

The Jewish religion requires men and women to wear a head covering, depending on orthodoxy.

I wore a black suit to my Justice of the Peace wedding 39 years ago. Some people react in shock when they see the photos. It worked for me and I felt beautiful. I find many of these rules are archaic. I do what I want. I always wear a watch, often diamond studs during the day, patent leather shoes whenever, and white year-round. I think many of these rules were made to be suggestions.

So, @Zalco/bring back Sophie! have you decided to purchase the diamond initial pendant?

I have a large pendant I wear on a long chain. It is similar to the one below but with white gold base for the initials, yellow gold bezel and cognac diamonds instead of white diamonds (a choice i regret!). I *love* it with turtlenecks and tees!!

My sister wears a pave diamond pendant regularly and i think it looks perfect! It's daintier than my pendant and just so pretty. I vote for all women to have "everyday diamonds"!

There remain faiths that abide by these verses of scripture from 1 Corinthians:

"Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head,

But every wife who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head, since it is the same as if her head were shaven."

Not me, mind you. I don't view the Bible as an instruction book.

Zalco, yes to a chilled plate for salads.

I like warmed plates, but we put our salad on our dinner plates. Not a good combo.

The initials in the product photo are my initials-- but mine are in a different order. N is my "big" initial.