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why is this grey bugging me

We painted our room Behr Grey Mist but when I put the grey headboard in the room, it just looks “wrong”. I realize that colours change with light etc. Plus depending on your monitor it will look different. I am trying to decide whether to repaint or to buy a new headboard. In general I like the paint colour because it does go well with my rug plus we are planning on putting our existing brown leather chairs in this room. So I am thinking I would be better off changing the headboard (which is brand new but cannot be returned).

Note the blue armoire is leaving the room. I will also put other pics for reference. For example, we are in the process of installing a white PAX wardrobe system and are going to be painting the oak nightstands.

Comments (48)

  • 4 years ago

    The headboard is on the cool side of grey and the wall color is on the warm side of grey.

  • 4 years ago

    Make a slip cover for the head board

  • 4 years ago

    Grays are doom and gloom unless mixed with turquoise or orange or yellow or even pink. You need some colour in there-start with the bedding and go from there.

  • 4 years ago

    I like your rug! Did you purchase it recently? If so, from where?

  • 4 years ago
    last modified: 4 years ago

    Because the gray walls are making it look like a dungeon. I like the blue gray suggestion.

  • 4 years ago

    Well, it’s bugging me simply because it’s gray.

  • 4 years ago

    Sounds like you’re making lots of improvements! I’d go for a solid (not gray) color bedspread because it’s clashing with the busy rug and headboard. Tufted furniture looks busy to me. Adding another shade or two of gray in some throw pillows could pull it all together. Good luck!

  • 4 years ago

    I think it looks fine. When the room is finished and accessorized you will have a range of neutrals including those grays and others. You really don’t want the room to have multiple hues of the same gray.

  • 4 years ago
    last modified: 4 years ago

    It is bugging you because it really isn't gray...it has gray undertones, but it shows


    You said you are adding a white PAX, keep going with the white. All white bedding, change out the rug. I wouldn't paint the bedside tables white...try black with white lamps. Black will add another tone and help balance the headboard/dust ruffle.



    Whatever you do, don't try to match the wall color with anything else in the room. For a rug, do gray as the accent color, (color of the dust ruffle and headboard).



    If you are looking for another color for a throw or chair consider this one:


    Target throw:



  • 4 years ago

    I think it looks fine and both colors seem to be represented in the rug. Get some art on the wall and the bed will no longer be the only thing against the wall and much less noticeable. If you decide you can’t live with it, I’d look into painting the fabric of the headboard before I replaced it. Google ‘painting upholstery‘ for pics and methods. It’s quite successful.

  • 4 years ago

    The room used to be painted blue lol. The bedspread is not the final choice. I’ve just been paralyzed with things like curtains bedspreads etc since the paint. We used to have a white headboard which I wish we kept. This all started because my husband wanted to paint a room grey and this was the best option since it’s less connected with the rest of the house. But I thought he would paint it “trendy” grey like everyone seems to be painting. So we bought the grey headboard. But then he painted this shade.

    The rug was originally purchased years ago for the family room and was damaged by a puppy. We replaced the chewed rug with the exact same rug because I like it so much. Then I decided to get it cleaned and use it in the bedroom. I didn’t pay for the repair because it was quoted almost as much as replacing the rug. The paint goes so well with the rug.

    The compliment colour for the room will be teal.

  • 4 years ago

    PS the bed skirt is blue and will be going as well. I haven’t committed to the night stand colour yet. I’d actually like to do teal.

  • PRO
    4 years ago
    last modified: 4 years ago

    I do not agree I love gray bedrooms but grays are tricky to work with and so is lighting . I would suggest you first cahnge all the lighting to LED 4000K put some on dimmers if you want but any kind of yellow hue on gray totally changes the color for sure and thta lamp is for sure shining yellow. I think pulling a color other than gray from the rug might be the answer .I happen to love gray bedrooms there is nothing depressing about this space BTW 4000K LEDs mimic bright daylight


  • 4 years ago
    last modified: 4 years ago

    @Sherry, et al, I'm so sorry that is what you see. Your post sounds so sad. "Gray is the color of death" ? Look at your I D photo...all shades of gray.

    Grays are gorgeous, all with different undertones of blue, purple, green. Choosing the right undertones to work with the natural light, you have a gray which can work in any room. The samples below are all grays.







    A gorgeous gray for a north light room is Excalibur Gray. The purple undertone warms up the cold blue north light.



    South light with all its warm influence for most of the day is balanced with Boothbay Gray.



    Then there is west light...IMO, the difficult natural light with which to work. B.M. Moonshine cools it down.



    East light? The room only has a few hours to show its colors, so you need a green undertone to make the paint last through the day. B.M. Gray Horse is just the right gray.

    Generalization of gray is a one sided concept. There is more to behold.

  • 4 years ago

    @jlouise54 the rug was recently (December 2021) purchased from Amazon. Here is the link. Strangely the price of it keeps going up. I did not pay the current price it shows. You may be able to source it in the US (if that’s where you are) by the name. I think we originally bought it from overstock.

    Mohawk Home Inspired India Light Medallion Area Rug (7'6x10') https://a.co/d/dyHdjX7

  • 4 years ago

    You can make the headboard work. As others have said, you still have a lot of accessorizing to do - artwork, bedding, furniture, etc. You can use Euro shams and prop them against the headboard to add color, contrast and texture. Here's one photo from your Master Bedroom Ideabook:





  • 4 years ago

    I agree with those who say don't give up on the headboard yet. Removing the armoire, painting the night stands, if you wish, adding art and maybe brightening up your bedding will make lots of difference. Do add more colors (the blue/green from your rug?).

  • PRO
    4 years ago

    Change out the headboard…go for dark metal

  • PRO
    4 years ago

    Love this bed frame owned it in my last home and a Houzz thread I follow just added it into her guest room..will be a nice look with leather chairs.

  • PRO
    4 years ago

    Also it has a frame so no dust ruffle needed! They make me crazy 🤪

  • 4 years ago

    Thanks for the rug info. I need a rug to tie brown and light blue together. It is lovely in your room.

  • 4 years ago
    last modified: 4 years ago

    Mixing warm and cool grays is so chic. Keep it up and mix with other pale warm and cool grays and greiges throughout. So neutral and calming. Then you can add pale wood or brown or cool slate accents. I like the slate blue armoir and pillows in the photo, and the bedding, skirt and carpet, and the floors. Come to think of it, that bedroom is fantastic already! P.S. The nightstands...not black but a mid-dark charcoal.

  • PRO
    4 years ago
    last modified: 4 years ago

    You need 4000k ice cold lighting like a hole in your head.It's a bedroom!! Not a laboratory.

    What you do NEED is to change the headboard to a deep chocolate velvet. You can get it re upholstered or do it yourself and eliminate the tufts. You don't need the tufts.Ditch the dust ruffle for a platform that gives you air beneath the bed, and doesn't choke the look of your rug and simply attach the newly colored headboard,.

    Once the headboard changes? You are freed to really enjoy the walls and the rug

    Paint the side tables wall color, satin or gloss finish. New hardware. New lamps....

    On the bed linens? A HEALTHY DOSE of white with the misty colors in your rug for an accent. No more gray!!!!! Add art, texture and get rid of the couch in the room : ) See below .......chocolate upper right corner....and freedom. The wall color and pax? Will look perfectly great.




  • 4 years ago

    Jan Moyer - I am in the middle of re-doing a similar room. I had asked about the rug source because I am trying to tie existing chocolate brown drapes into existing light blue walls. I think your suggestions here also work for me! I don’t think others were recommending pulling in the brown, but seems like a good choice to me.

    Susan - can you confirm that the rug color truly is a chocolate brown? Thanks!

  • PRO
    4 years ago

    With brown leather chairs with brown headboard it my be going too dark🤷🏼‍♀️

  • 4 years ago

    Given you are painting nightstands white and purchasing a white PAX unit, the most important thing is to pull the room together. I’d suggest white walls, new bedding and lamps. It will also solve the wall/headboard situation.



  • PRO
    4 years ago

    Can you please post photo of the leather chairs you are putting in this room.

  • PRO
    4 years ago

    What brown leather chairs?? What did I miss?

  • PRO
    4 years ago

    Jan here you go…

  • PRO
    4 years ago

    Let us go easy-peasy. I like your area rug. I would pick this nice bluish color for accent wall.



  • 4 years ago

    Susan, can you move at least one of the brown leather chairs into the room, hide the clutter and anything you are saying will not be in the finished room, and take more pictures please? You did a great job using photos taken at different times of the day.


    In case there is an impass, are you able to use the headboard or bed in a different room? All my beds are queen size, so it would be easy for me…just asking.

  • PRO
    4 years ago
    last modified: 4 years ago

    Brown leather chars.......nope. A single chair, a pretty table and lamp. Not brown and not leather: ) Sorry.....but a less tomb like effect would be nice. Jmho



  • PRO
    4 years ago

    Just put a generic brown leather chair in…I do feel like it can work but we need to see your chairs..but I do think the night stands need to be painted a light neutral if going with a neutral linen upholstered bed.

  • PRO
    4 years ago

    I like to look for an easy way out. What about doing a color block of paint behind the headboard and night stands? It can be a bold color or simply white. It would give a buffer between the grays.



  • 4 years ago

    I kinda like Debbie's suggestion, mostly because I like the trick of making a floor to ceiling focal point of the headboard area to balance the visual weight of a bed. Many things can be used to accomplish that, including a change in wall color to one that better matches the headboard and is flanked by something, even if its just moulding. Sometimes I think of adding shelving to each side of our bed and painting the headboard area with a mural or just a darker shade of the same hue as the rest of the room. Sometimes I think of putting a big mirror at the headboard end with windowpane trim and flanking it with draperies for a faux window reflecting the light of the sliders on the adjacent wall. Better designers than me can get more specific, and I'd love hearing about those ideas.

  • 4 years ago

    Simple question - when you get dressed in the morning would you match a shirt the colors in your carpet or the color of your wall (both green grays) with a pair of violet gray or taupe pants that are the color of your headboard?


    You can mix cool and warm, but you need to be careful which cools and which warms and it is a delicate balance. Your two colors clash.


    Purple gray/ taupe works with blue green grays, but your greens are far too yellow to work with the purple gray.


  • 4 years ago

    There is nothing inherently wrong with gray or any other neutral. Your wall color should be the perfect backdrop for the furnishings and rugs and décor that you own and love.


    If you look in your closet and the colors you love all work with pewter gray slacks gray may be the best color for your walls because you like bright blues. If your closet is filled with olive greens, gray may not be a great wall color and a light creamy color wall may be best.


    Gray can be associated with depression, but it can also be associated with the feeling of security. After 911 we needed security and gray became the go to color.

  • 4 years ago

    Lighting is about personal preference. People in the south tend to prefer whiter light than those living further north. Some color palettes look better with softer lighting. I have a Mid Century Modern home with bold wine reds, violet grays and teals. I also lived in Southern California for 30 years before moving back to PA and I worked in medical/surgical suites with 6500 k lighting (never found in homes). I use 5000 k lighting.

    My sister owns a Tudor home with dark woods and fall colors, lots of greens and golds and orange reds and touches of deep green blues. She uses 2700 k lighting and it is perfect in her home.


    Home decorating isn't about fitting your personality into the box defined by the current trend, it is about having a home that reflects your personality and brings you joy.


    If everyone was happiest with 4000 k lighting they wouldn't have to make anything else. If everyone loved the same color paint and furnishings their wouldn't be a need for so many choices.



  • 4 years ago

    You forgot one, @sherry. Gray is institutional. (Hospitals come to mind.)

  • 4 years ago
    last modified: 4 years ago

    It is a lot of gray.

    Were you expecting it to match the headboard?

    I don't think it's bad, necessarily, but as others have said, some accessorizing could help tie things together.

    And FWIW, gray in nature is often quite beautiful. I think faint hints of color and some sparkle do help, of course.



  • 4 years ago
    last modified: 4 years ago

    You mention painting the nightstand. Maybe the basic match/ blend with the rug's blue?

  • 4 years ago
    last modified: 4 years ago

    If painted stand 'strengthened' the rug's blue, maybe Nantucket, the rest becomes less obvious.

    Furniture, Cabinets, Countertops and More All-in-One Refinishing Kit, Nantucket · More Info



    GDF Studio Hinus Indoor Upholstery Club Chair Recliner, Dark Teal · More Info


    "Watercolor Poppy II" Wrapped Canvas Art Print, 24"x30"x1.5" · More Info


  • 4 years ago
    last modified: 4 years ago

    Adding pillows, etc.....whether huge knit type, or jute bordered.

    Tradewinds Quilted 7 Piece Bed Spread Set, King · More Info


  • 4 years ago
    last modified: 4 years ago

    Lake Blue [not delft blue] - could it blend with rug? at Kohl's too.

    https://www.overstock.com/Bedding-Bath/Lush-Decor-Ruffle-Skirt-Bedspread-Set/22543761/product.html

  • 4 years ago
    last modified: 4 years ago

    If the nearby wall is all white closets -- more white?!

    This is half the price in white for $83, Walmart

    https://www.walmart.com/ip/Lush-Decor-French-Country-Geo-Ruffle-Skirt-Textured-Polyester-Tailored-Drop-Bedspread-King-White-3-Pc-Set/393683843


    French Country Geo Ruffle Skirt Bedspread White 3Pc Set King · More Info