Pics would be helpful.

Sorry

With different types of wood, you absolutely need to get your painted to test the stain color on a sample piece of wood. Any good painter will do this and then adjust the stain as necessary to get closer to your desired color. I wouldn't let them pressure you into choosing a stain without doing a sample first.

Do not make these type of decisions in haste.

I so agree slow down and get samples for sure. Every wood takes stain differently and trying to make 3 all look the same is an art and needs to be planned before doing anything on the actual pieces.

They're never going to look exactly the same, but what you want to do is have them work well together. Even the same wood looks different depending on where it came from on the tree.

But I agree don't let them pressure you--choose it after looking at samples.