I really dislike what my husband’s relative (a married relation from NOLA) calls ”dirty Santa.” IMO it’s creepy to choose a wrapped gift and then have it taken away from you by the person with the next number … or the next person or the next. Not at all my idea of fun. 🤷‍♀️ Better to draw names and shop thoughtfully for a gift your recipient will like and can use. On the other end, better to be a gracious recipient who thanks the giver sincerely regardless of what she thinks of the gift. If a white elephant exchange works differentlly it could only be an improvement!.

I have never done either. I think the stealing idea is awful, but I guess people find it funny and since it is never anything of real value, IDK...

Early in our marriage, we attended a party with a game (40+ yrs ago, so don't recall how the invite was phrased). The DH was an acquaintance of DH's.. I bought something useful, so three stole and it was "dead." Some gifts were brought just to be funny. We went home with an item that was either tossed or donated. My first and only white elephant exchange, thank goodness..

I attended four annual ornament swap parties held by a friend, so I knew half of the people attending. She had been hosting these for awhile before I knew her. They were fun gatherings that grew larger each year. She decided to end the tradition over a decade ago. Only once did I go home with something that did not get stolen and I did not keep. It was three flat papermache ornaments, made and painted by her very young children (one was a nutcracker). The ornaments from all the other years are currently hanging on our tree.

The atmosphere of the first party and the ornament swap parties were totally different. While I enjoyed the social aspect of my friend's parties, I cannot say that i miss them.

The amount of crap that gets purchased at Christmas season has always boggled my mind. I grew up Jewish and even as a kid, I was turned off by how much junk my friends got as stocking stuffers that I'd then see laying around the house months later unused.

I hate the waste that goes into buying so much crap for secret Santas and grab bags. What percentage of these gifts end up in thrift stores or worse, the trash? And, I would feel stupid giving away to someone else something from my house that I didn't like or want for myself. I'd rather donate it the thrift store.

Long ago I dated a man who came from a really large family. Nobody wanted to spend money on getting gifts for everyone so they did the bring a wrapped item. Go in an order. You either keep what you opened or took one someone else got that you wanted. It was entertaining with this close knit fun family, though nothing I'd care to repeat.

My bunco group does a white elephant style ornament swap every year. My trees are very specific (One is all sterling ornaments, one is all glass., and one is all kid ornaments and some hodge podge things we love.) so I don’t always wind up with an ornament that I can use, but it‘s a fun evening. I look at it as an activity not a gift exchange.

Ive never done a white elephant gift swap but Ive always known them to be more gag gifts .. which is why I have done secret santas or similar instead. I am not big on gifts that have no use or meaning.

I agree that they are more an "activity" .. I suppose it is fun to "steal" the biggest, most unusually shaped or best wrapped gift.

I think looking at it as an activity is the right idea. It’s supposed to be a silly way to spend an evening. Our community center is doing one this year, for the first time, as an additional activity at our annual Holiday Sing along. If you wsnt to participate you bring a gift, it’s not obligatory. The gift can be new, or recycycled, purchased or handmade. I think it will be interesting to see what people bring. I haven’t decided what I’m doing yet.

I haven't actually heard of "White Elephant" in a long time! We do "Dirty Santa" with my group of close friends-we never care if we get the good gifts or not! There are a couple of good gifts included, but mostly gag gifts. Last year, I went to Best Buy and found a giant plastic Elvis-playing-a-guitar "piggy bank" for our Dirty Santa. Actually, people really wanted my Elvis-I never saw that coming. It's all in fun. We aren't serious about it at all. I guess there are groups who shouldn't participate if you're going to get mad about it. I could see kids not taking it very well, LOL.

These were held at some of my work places. They were kind of a nuisance because some people used it as an excuse to get rid of some useless item from home, then someone else would be stuck getting rid of it. One time a person brought her old textbooks.

Might be more fun if the idea is to buy a small item, maybe <$10, then play the ggame. Silly stuff like ornaments or Pez holders.

I've been at some event where you took other peoples' gifts if you wanted that instead of what you picked. They weren't gag gifts but something small. Many years ago and I can't remember where it was. Last year a friend of mine send me her White Elephant gift - some kind of terribly ugly cat towel. It was shaped like a cat so not even useful for cleaning the litter box. So in the spirit of not hoarding useless stuff, I threw it away.

I have never heard of Dirty Santa! We do Yankee Swap…is it a regional thing?? I just went to one last night, an annual thing with a group of 9 women. Everyone picks a number out of a hat, the person with no. 1 goes first. Picks a gift and unwraps it. No. 2 picks a gift, unwraps, and decides whether to keep or swap with no. 1. And so on. At the end, person no. 1 has the option to trade with anyone in the group. I was no. 9 last night, which was great because I could also trade with anyone. In this particular group, we have a theme each year which makes the gifts more meaningful, and we have all known each other for like 20 years. Some of our themes have been: locally made; handmade (we are a crafty bunch); self care.

In another (coed) group of 12, we do what I guess is more like a white elephant? It is often in January, and gifts are a mix of used (but not junk), regifting from the holidays, and new. This one tends to have more funny items. One year someone’s gift was a big magnifying glass with a horn handle. That thing reappeared in the swap for several years in a row.

Right out of high school, I worked a Christmas job for 3 months. They had a Christmas party with an under $10 theme. Make it fun, was the theme. People would give say... a kitty cat cookie cutter, saying so they could immortalize cats. Then a parrot cookie cutter, saying the cats needed prey. So you'd give a string of silly gifts....going into the garbage when the party was over.

My bunco group does the Yankee Swap, they call it a White Elephant but it is definitley not that in a traditional sense. Bunco is tonight. No themes, just a dollar limit that is loosely followed. I usually spend time searching for the perfect gift and whatever I bring is stolen until it can't be anymore. Unfortunately, the gift I ordered was delayed, so I was thinking of a container of biscotti with a Trader Joe's gift card, but I am now worried that I am going to break an unwritten rule about gift cards. They have appeared at past swaps, but not often at all. So I think I will be out trying to find something today.

I have heard of white elephant but have only participated in one and that was years ago. I never hear of these

”parties” anymore. I don’t think they are a ”thing” around here. I did receive an invite to a ornament exchange/dinner. 😊

I’m not sure which is more stressful, drawing names and getting someone you barely know, or buying a generic gift. I am not a shopper! But I like finding something unique, perhaps handmade, preferable made locally or sold by an independent. Fair trade, or antique stores, are my favorite places, but I worry that an antique may be seen as ”used”!

As an aside, I always found hospital gift shops to be a great source for gifts especially for women (and dang it, I have mostly men to buy for), but a recent visit to the ones around me showed they have changed, not so interesting anymore.

My husband’s nephew started the Dirty Santa years ago when we exchanged gifts. We had bought gifts for everyone and then drew names for awhile. It was stupid and I hated it, but had to go along. I never heard it called White Elephant, just Dirty Santa. Women brought a gift for a woman and men a gift for a man. The nephew that started it brought an old bowling pin for his gift the first year. The last year we had to do it I brought a photo frame I wanted. I kept stealing until I ended up with it. You draw numbers. The #1 picks first. You want to be the last to pick. You can pick a wrapped gift or steal one. If your gift gets stolen, you can pick a new gift or steal one.

The rest thought it was so funny, I thought it was stupid and a waste of time and money.

I went to a party that had Yankee Swap, and since there were about 50 people playing, it took way too long. Adding to the already endless game were a few, very sought after and frequently stolen nail salon certificates, and everyone constantly stole the gift of a very drunk woman who had trouble understanding she had to pick another gift 🙄 so they kept making fun of her (with friends like that who needs enemies). Did I mention it took forever, and she was part of the reason why? The worst gift was a portable hair dryer shaped like a hand gun. Why?

My brother once bought a black velvet painting of Elvis at a gas station, trying to have the worst, funniest gift at a swap. Turns out it was the most sought after. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I was a member of a all-female group that did this every year. I hated it. People would bring things like moldy gym bags or things that were supposed to be funny like books about sexual positions or teeny, tiny thongs and lube.

The only reason I attended was to transport and support an elderly lady. She died two years ago so I haven't had to attend since then.

Like others here, most of what I received went in the trash before I ever left the venue.

Only peripheral to topic but my family has switched to blind picking of one name and that person gets a gift that costs a certain limit from a wishlist that each person provides. It levels the playing field and it means that everyone gets something they want and there are not a lot of random inexpensive gifts floating around, many of which are unneeded or unwanted.

I think buying gag gifts to get a few laughs only to be disposed of is just really wasteful. Not necessarily of money because you can spend your money however you want. But nobody needs things they need to figure out how to dispose.disposed of and a landfill doesn't need it either.

After reading this thread, I'm thankful I have never had to endure one of these parties. I don't get the attraction. There are many ways to have a good time that does not involve wasting money and/or creating trash.

I'd never heard of 'dirty santa' before and find the name distasteful. I could not remember what a somewhat similar activity that people we knew engaged in when we used to get together some years ago until sueb mentioned Yankee Swap - yes, that's what is was and exactly as she described. I liked it a lot better than prior years' New Year's Eve or was it Christmas Eve events when we had to bring a holiday gift for every adult in attendance; this way you brought one wrapped gift about $20., not a gag gift (this was years ago). This ended about 15 years ago. No longer see them or miss the swaps but it was sorta fun.

I enjoy holiday get-togethers (just hosted friends yesterday evening), but we don't do gift exchanges. I was invited to a White Elephant party a few years ago. It's just awkward, imo.

When my kids were young, we lived in a neighborhood full of young moms. Often, one would host a gift-wrapping party. It was socializing and tasking at once.

The last I've heard of White Elephant was way back in high school. Our FFA at the time, had a (small town) city-wide one every year, but it was used items and not funny at all and more like a fundraiser for items to be sold as in a garage sale in the end, if I remember correctly. We don't do Dirty Santa every year-that would get boring every year, since ours is only for laughs. But, over the last 18 years probably 5 times.

Yes, that is what I knew as a “White Elephant”. It was a sale to raise money by a church or organization. Agathie Christie called it a “Bring & Buy“ in her novels.

I've experience both. At my church we have one "White Elephant" sale each year. All it means is a garage sale with no clothes. At gift giving time bringing a white elephant to "trade" seems to work well for co workers or maybe a girl scout troop etc. Connected people but not bffs or close relatives. I've found there's less judgement and less emotions over a loss during the swap.

When I was working, we did this for our department. There was a dollar guideline, I think it was $20 or so and we picked our number spot out of a bag. So if you picked something desirable and you were early on, there was a good chance it could be stolen. I think we had a limit of how many times a gift could be "stolen". As I recall, we bought good gifts, things you'd want..though sometimes kind of specific. It was actually a lot of fun. I think we were about 20 people participating. There would be chocolates, wine, scarves, home decor, practical stuff. I remember someone had a giftbox set of flashlights... DH is a flashlight fan so I thought I would "steal " it. Amazingly this was one of the most desired.

I went to another where you were told to regift something you'had received and didn't want. That was really not fun. Some were funny but most were just stuff you would toss. I ended up going home with a knitted or crocheted picture frame that had a gold theme.

I offered it on buynothing. Surprise surpise no takers. I did toss it.

Can't edit on my phone.... but the crocheted picture frame had a golf theme... not gold lol. It was green ,Kelly green, and black.

I've been to a few Yankee Swaps. My go to gift was to take a glass apothecary jar and fill it with chocolate dipped oreos with a christmas design on top. I used the same idea for a women's ice hockey team that I played on only this time, I bought a puck bag and filled it with the oreos. I neither like nor dislike the swaps. But yeah, they're mostly junk.

“All it means is a garage sale with no clothes. ” Ok Arcy, that’s just funny.

I thought that was funny, too, and quite apt! Sorting clothes donations has to be the hardest part of any church rummage sale.

I didn't name it. It's been an institution in my church for at least 50 years. The kids going off to college love it!

So timely! I have a friend group similar to Sueb. Most of us have known each other for 30 or so years and met in our local ski group. We started getting together for lunch during our birthday month and again before the holidays. Yesterday was our Christmas/Hannukah lunch.

A while back one suggested we do Dirty Santa. I had no idea what it was, but ours is done almost like Sueb’s Yankee Swap so yes, I think it’s a regional name. The difference is that at each person’s turn, they can either pick a new gift from the unopened pile or steal an already opened gift. You don’t get to open one first and then decide. I’m not crazy about it but it can be fun, I play along because the other 7-8 seem to enjoy it, and I no longer see the gift as being the main point of it all. Almost all the gifts are useful or something I can donate and not throw away, so there’s that.

I’ve received some real duds (tacky earrings I would never wear, a candle (so overpowering and I am picky about any candle and never give them as gifts) and some pretty good (bottle of wine, gift card to our local grocery store (Publix), and yesterday a set of birch plant holders plus a pretty handmade ornament.

I also associate ’White Elephant’ with a sale of unwanted items, usually by an organization or church. Again, likely a regional term for a similar type of gift swap?

In my limited experience, I think there are two gifting events, and sometimes they are combined. Yankee Swap/ Dirty Santa is the take a gift from others game, mostly done with new items. Sometimes done with gag gifts (new or used), and sometimes, but less commonly, done with white elephant/previously owned, mostly junk items. I, personally, think any of those gift swapping games aren’t fun but participate if required.

Outside, i have a group of friends that do similar. We have a monthly lunch date; if someone has a bday that month, they choose where to go. We meet this coming week. 😊 However However, no gifts. This is really the same with many of my friends and even a few relatives. No gifts, just time together. You get to the point where you don’t need or want things.

Tina, that’s the way we handle the birthday lunches too. No gifts, just cards, and funny ones are allowed. The birthday girl(s) get to pick the restaurant.